Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 652. page
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What is the best way to kill yourself without pain?
>>29737698
Don't be born
Live your life to the fullest so you are happy and satisfied until you die of old age
>>29737698
Exit bag
Erotic autoasphyxiation
Head under truck wheels
>well anon I think it's about time you told them
>tell us what, dear?
>*mutters* we were still waiting for dessert
>quit being a fucking baby and--
>excuse me? no one talks to my baby that way
>excuse yourself Mrs. Anonberg
>but you're only half right; he's my boy because he definitely ain't a man yet nor will he ever get to be
>....what?
>tell them anon
>......
>*vicious strike across the face*
>m-mom d-dad, I am not your little boy anymore.
>I'm someone else's little boy now
>I'm her little boy now
>and why are you a little boy and not a big boy anon?
>I'm a little boy because I have an inadequate reproductive system
>YOU HAVE A FUCKING BABYDICK IS WHY YOU'RE A LITTLE BOY, YOU FUCKING BABYDICK
>*genuine crying* I'm sorry princess I'm so sorry for being inferior I'm so sorry for being a loser I'm sorry sorry for being disgusting please princess I'll do anything princess please don't please me princess my life is yours princess please
>you''ll do anything?
>anything princess
>anything anything?
>anything anything princess
>go tell your parents that you hate them, that you never want to see them again, and if you ever try to reach out to find me, tell them that you'll hurt them and then yourself
>p-p-princess?
>*direct eye contact*
>do what I say or this is as far as the road goes between us,
wat do?
1) Invite your parents over.
2) Open the door.
3) Get on the floor.
4) Everybody walk the dinosaur.
>BOOM BOOM SHAKALAKALAKALAKA
>>29737682
A) greentexting the non greentext parts, and not greentexting the greentext parts
B) this is pretty great new form of shitposting
> thanks anon
>>29737597
>Kill "princess"
>Fuck her dead corpse
>Sell her belongings, buy your parents a gift
Please tell me this is a hypothetical situation.
>tfw not in any secret clubs
>tfw don't have any knowledge that isn't widely available to the general public
>tfw a cultist
>tfw seen too much and can't go back
sorry, don't know that feel... senpai
>>29737596
I-it's okay anon. 4chan is a secret club right?
>he constantly believes he is bothering someone when he wants to text/call someone to check up on them
>when drinking, he exaggerates how drunk he is to be entertaining
>most of the music he listens to is one genre
>he listens to multiple genre of music, but barely has an extensive library for each genre
>he doesn't delete nudes he has received after a break up
>he can't order anything from a restaurant without requesting an alternation (for non-medical/health reasons)
>he doesn't alter the way he talks in person from the way he talks to people online
>he can't cook a perfect steak
>he can't go 2 weeks without sex or masturbation
>there's porn he regularly looks at, but would be too ashamed to tell his friends or girlfriend about
>he has a problem with women asking guys out
>he has a problem with tall women dating short guys
>he doesn't care about space discoveries unless it's aliens
What a stupid fucking bait thread.
>pretty reasonable red flags
WHAT IS HAPPENING?
SEND ME RED ROOM LINKS NOW
Andy, give up. You're only prolonging the inevitable.
14 yr olds of reddit: the post.
http://piv.pivpiv.dk/
You know this kind of stuff is illegal right?
I love micro dicks i wish that i could suck small cute cocks all day long, i want to suck one so badly
What is wrong with me
why did things turned like this
Are u a girl or boy
I've had a girl tell me she likes small dick before
>>29737513
Ancient greeks use to prefer smaller cocks. Maybe you are part ancient greek.
>>29737513
the jews did this.
originalle
> crispy-fags literally blown the fuck out
The cunt probably makes the threads, stop giving her any attention.
>>29737401
a month old twitt, get your shit together Crispy
>>29737401
>People still waifu 3DPD
Even more pathetic than the waifufaggotry I indulge myself in.
>That one guy who's still shooting off fireworks at 2AM
>>29737394
>being an anti- American faggot
This is the greatest nation on Earth. Get out if you don't like it.
>>29737394
call bolice
>>29737467
I don't hate America but
>normies
>It's 2AM
Don't they have to work or something
>tfw roommate's girlfriend started treating me like I'm her 12 year old little brother
Why do they do this? Do they not realize how degrading it is?
haha same situation, OP... but the joke is it's true, I'm a hopeless slacker. xD
I love it when this happens
>>29737374
why?oreganalio comment
JUST
FUCKING
CLICC
SUBMIT
SMASH DAT BOIY
https://youtu.be/2RMTSjJXhdY
>>29737385
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=evVrMAe_rhI
>>29737327
>>29737385
What is occuring my fellow African Americans? As you can see I am a melanin enriched human being such as yourselves, and I was wondering what your opinion on BlackLivesMatter is.
>get nazi haircut
>realize how shallow girls are
>start getting more attention from girls and being more alpha and yelling at people and putting others down and being a leader
Wow. I just went to a 4th of July party and have never wanted to kill myself so badly. Fucking retard whores and fucking cheap mother fuckers everywhere. I cant believe I was celebrating America with these fuckers. I left so pissed I was just like "fuck you guys". and this shit is retarded I changed little in the way I act honestly the intro was a lie Im not even more alpha but I cut my hair and ever since girls have been acting differently towards me and its like really a fucking haircut is what made girls start coming onto me. I want to blow my head up but I used all my fireworks. Gfjdbsijxns. Why does this world suck dick why cant people be real or like not horrible people.
>>29737274
I'm not confident enough to get a unique looking haircut, I'm too scared people will judge me for it. I wanna try getting a nazi haircut too. Maybe I'll just say fuck it and do it today
>>29737274
>you'll never fly in a luxury dirigible
>>29737325
Its the bees nees. I took b&w photos of myself and everyone said I look like a nazi but irl with decent clothes on and a decent shave its like just trolling because the undercut is a really good looking haircut for the average white male.
But seriously I had so much fun celeberating americas independence today but the people I was with killed night.
I barely even lift anymore yet I keep getting bigger. I eat all clean natural foods and drink only water and stay active. You fat fucks don't even have a job and still look like you're made out of gum. I still found time to workout today, Why? Because I'm a fucking savage. Now I'm about to eat, monitor this thread and check my emails.
Keep my thread bumped cucks
>>29737240
Even though this is "trolling" and r9k is one of the most pathetic boards of 4chan, you're worse because you created this thread to fill some hole in your life. I've never said this before but: kill yourself.
(You)
original sageroonies go in all the fielderinos
It's funny cause a lot of us are skellys
>tfw
>he handsome, tall, thundercock, rich, sociable, SELF-CONFIDENT ALPHA MALEcauz he has advantages to be confident
>you are ugly/manlet/dicklet/poor/nerd/handless AFRAID TO SAY A GIRL "Hi!"
I mean, WHY EVEN TRYING, IF SOMEHOW YOU GET A GRILL, SHE WILL CHEAT YOU WITH CHAD EVENTUALLY?
I'm actually not poor and have both hands. Other than that, true.
Why would I have to compete with them? Maybe 1% of guys have all of those qualities, they are not going to take every girl on the planet
But who would love a depressed girl?
beta orbiters/people who haven't actually dated a depressed girl
get on meds
>>29737182
every single girl is "depressed" anon you fucking faggot
plus marky is the best
your mom
or at least she should
it's a part of her job
who /losing their god damn mind/ here?
it's happening
original 1.2.1.1.1.1
I used to say that, until I actually had a total psychotic break and it was the worst experience of my life, now I'm more careful with my words
>>29737176
Can you describe what happened? Even if you have to spare details
