Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 8551. page
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>there are guys right now on this site stuffing their face full of greasy fattening chinese take out they got from a chinese food place
>reveling in the fact they're clogging their arteries and slowly killing themselves
>shoveling filthy ass junk into their bodies, with no respect for the only body they will have in this lifetime
>meanwhile, I'm enjoying a sensible lunch of steamed broccoli and cauliflower with Fancy Feast chicken flavored gourmet cat food with a delectable thick gravy sauce, and a glass of tonic water with lemon flavor
Enjoy your disgusting flabby bodies, as I perfect myself with easy to make and healthy meals.
I'd rather be a fat piece of shit than eat cat food
->fancy feast
>>24145588
Here it is, a picture of what can I'm eating right now. Put some veggies on, and they make for great meals, I gotta be honest.
How good looking do you think you are?
>>24145525
Oh and if you can't read the small fonts you are blind and blindness is a genetic disease, deduct 1 point off your looks chart.
that's sort of funny but not a very god bait
>>24145525
I know it's a troll pic but I got -2
>new job
>coworkers are insuferable plebs
>they all go to have lunch together
>I prefer to take a walk and be alone for an hour to relax from all the sitting in front of the computer
>they'll probably think I'm arrogant and hate me
Anyone else in a similar situation?
>>24145507
I feel you OP.
>working in an office
>fucking hate it
>everyone just gossips, mostly women in the office
>they kind of frown if you speak without being spoken too, must have been some shitty rule they all had among the other
>say little
>invite me to bars on fridays after work and lunches during the day
>cant understand why you wouldnt just want to go straight home after the effort of having to talk and be around people all day
>Lunch was my fucking sanctuary to walk and be alone.
>used to pretend I was talking on the phone just so I could vent and talk to myself
>left after 6 months
was ready for suicide desu senpai
>I keep to myself at work, friendly but reserved etc
>everyone is fine, no drama that I'm apart of
>new coworker
>fat tumblerina bitch
>asks me if I want to come outside and have a smoke with her on break
>I say no thanks, I don't smoke
>hear from coworkers that now apparently she thinks I'm a stuck up cunt for not smoking with her
>she says that by asking me to smoke with her, she really meant that she wanted to stand outside and chat
>by not magically reading her mind and assuming that she meant what she said now I'm the bad guy
>suddenly I'm involved with drama just because this whale slut doesn't like me for no good reason even though I'm always quiet and nice when spoken to
what the fuck
>>24145715
dude just go out with them your autism is making you unhappy
Only soul crushing music allowed ITT. No hip hop bullshit.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gMCeES2b_tw
I literally just saw them live some two weeks ago at a house show. Killer stuff.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1OW9K84EbU4
>>24145504
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ETfiUYij5UE
Feels on many wheeels.
>His only hobbies are anime and videogames
>Her only hobbies are pizza and netflix
>her only hobbies are clubbing and Facebook
>Really into film making
>Run a fairly popular youtube channel
>All my popular videos are about gaming and obscure internet jokes
>Grills are impressed until they realize what a colossal nerd I am from my videos
Where my INFP's at?
Dear god help me understand this insane world.
>F
>understand
Choose one
>>24145393
Just because I never will doesn't mean I can't want to.
>>24145368
prolly getting high
> Be me
> Be 23 years old
> be autistic
> participate in /mischief/
> be shitposting, using frog memes
> I live with my parents
> father sees me shAitposting
> takes hold of me before I could get out of the website
> busted.jpg
> he sees my shitpost
> HFW
> WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS? THAT'S WHAT YOU DO INSTEAD OF COLLEGE, ANON?
> autism.exe kicks in
> dad its fun you should try it
> ohgodwhy.jpg
> holds me by my neck
> too weak to resist
> locks me in bathroom
> after a while, I get out
> my pc is gone
> wtf.jpg
> Father is sitting on my desk
> we need to talk, anon
> ohfuckohfuck
> I've browsed your favorite meme center, what ever the hell that is, anon.
> I liked the idea of Good Boy Point system
> Idontlikewherethisisgoing.gif
> You're gonna have to earn shit from now on, anon
> it's alright, I can fend for myself, I say
>can I get pc back?
> that'll be 10000 GBPs
> how much do I have, father?
> you have non anon
> I sigh, then ask: how can I earn them, father?
> Showering gets you 5.shaving, another 5. clean clothes? 5. going to college? 10000 - getting a GF? 5000
> if you want food you're gonna have to pay 5 good boy points
> fuckmylife.jpg
> if you're gonna use the internet, you either do it in front of me, anon or you pay 1 GBP for every 5 minutes you're browsing in private
> WAIT... Is my whole life guided by GBPs now?
> YES. now go to your room!
> Three months later
> hungry, but in better shape
> didn't even want to be in better shape, now I can't be real robot
> internet is shit when not in private
>decide to rebel
> go to shower, turn on water, not actually shower
> get GBPs anyway
> father suspects something cause I smell like shit
> tells me to shower in underpants next time, cause he wants to make sure using camera
> thatsbullshit.jpg
> he slaps me
> fuck my life
> another 3 months
> threaten to kill myself (can't actually do it, cause I don't have the balls)
> Cont. in comments
> father tells that if I want to kill myself I am gonna need a noose
>so what?
> that'll be 100 GBPs
Seariously, fuck my fucking life and everything about it.
>>24145389
this thread is actual comedy gold. u should send it to hollywood....is this all true op. i fuckin hope so
> father tells that if I want to kill myself I am gonna need a noose
>so what?
> that'll be 100 GBPs
> OH GOD WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS SHIT?
> GO DOWNSTAIRS
> GO TO R9K
> MFW I used my last GBPs to post this
Seariously, fuck my fucking life and everything about it.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY FEMBOT POSTS HERE
WHY DO THEY THINK THEY'RE WELCOME IN OUR SPACE
I WANT FEM"BOTS" TO LEAVE
>>24145336
Kek. I'd wager most of them are dudes just looking for (You)s
>>24145336
hello there
t. fembot
>>24145361
this tbqh pham
>be me, 26 years old
>still a virgin, no gf
>demfeelsman.jpg
>depressions, frustration..
>thinking about suicide every day, even made preparations (tied a noose, it's still in a trunk of my car)
>had a serious traffic accident
>serious internal injuries, digestive system collapses
>strangers are usualy harsh to me but hospital personal is really nice and kind to me
>can't comprehend why
>other patients got daily frequent visits from their friends and relatives
>no one comes to see me
>last drop when nurse asks me why no one comes
>say nothing
>feels getting much worse
>got released from hospital to home treatment, can't work yet
>alone, locked in between four walls of my flat
>shit still hurts, feeling completely shitty, nobody wants to listen, nobody cares about me
>waiting for mind to finally snap and set things to motion
when it will end?
when, please?
>>24145256
post pixxxx boi
>>24145256
>serious internal injuries, digestive system collapses
I'm really sorry for you that you survived the accident. Sometimes I wish I'd just die during an accident. But it must be horrible if you survive.
>tfw at your exact same situation except injury
6 years ago I had a gun, shame I didn't use it.
>2015
>not being a muslim
Why haven't you accepted Islam yet? It is completely against any kind of modern day degeneracy and shares robot tier views on women which are socially acceptable since normies are too afraid to say anything non PC.
go fight a pig
>>24145183
pol pls go
fuck you robot
did you know that in order to do the hajj you have to be circumcized? they won't just take your word for it, either. you have to expose yourself before the official hajji dick checker. that's not a joke.
there are other reasons but i feel like penis inspection day being part of your religion is enough
>tfw most people seem stupid and I consider myself intellectually superior to them
>tfw I'm not actually smart enough to be successful in life, just enough to feel detached from normal people
>>24145161
that's called aspergers senpai
>>24145161
Stephen , is that you ?
>>24145161
That's called the Dunning Kruger effect
I'm a pathetic and disgusting person who needs physical harm to befall him as punishment.
I'm running out of good ways to self harm. Do any robots indulge in it that isn't cutting? I'm not doing this for attention, so I personally prefer methods that don't scar. Although at this point I need it to hurt more and more I'm starting to care about it less.
>>24145052
Cut yourself some more, you're harming me by being so cringey.
The other day I made a thread on /adv/ asking for advice on how to turn my life around. Today was my first day of being smoke-free and I've already bought a new pack and smoked 3 cigarettes.
People like me are pathetic. I need to be beaten and bruised. I need to have my fingers broken and wrists slashed. Please end my life, God. Normalfags who come here to say we're pathetic are correct. A true robot is worthless. I deserve to die.
>>24145052
Twist your arms
Ohayou, /r9k/!!!!
Try to do your best today! You can do it!
Thanks gonna sit around and watch anime
Have a free pity-bump friend!
>>24145140
I'll pity-pump you faggot
It's not fair!
She is so horny for him she squirts on his dick and then keep rubbung her pussy on it. She even has a qt face.
I GET REJECTED BY FAT SINGLE MOTHERS!
nigga that's just piss
That's piss.
>>24144877
thats not squirt, its pee.
>currently dating a single mom
>wanna ditch her but her pussy game too strong
>have to pretend i care when she talks about her son, while all I can think about is how I wanna use her only for sex
how fucked am I?
GET OF MY BOARD NORMIE!!! REEEEEEEEEEE
>>24144724
Don't get close to her emotionally or act like a father to her bastard kid. Keep fucking her then bail when you get bored, that's it.
>>24144724
Fixed that pic. Nobody wants to see that guys hand.
