Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 27. page
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>first job
>get kicked after a week
>23yo and never had a job
>1st day at new job
>celebrate after by getting shit faced
>sleep through alarm and wake up at noon
>fired for no call, no show
>>30013791
OP here. im 25
my mom was so proud i finally got a job...
See, /r9k/, you can have many women interested in you even if you're a 25 year old creepy Pokemon obsessed weirdo :)
http://9gag.com/gag/aRemZWj
well /r9k/ how many women did you get on account of your pokemon go :)
>>30013772
Holy shit man i have and still use those exact fuckin sheets
>>30015000
Nice trips and I did too. Pretty sure they were sold in Walmart
>hurdurgadurgadurga durgdurgdurgdurg banjo music starts playing
Howdy y'all. I'm yer typical pence supporter. Im rly glad Trump piked him as his VP pick, hyuk
excuse me fer one momernt
hurdurgdurghyukhurggurdurudurdurhyukhurdurghyuk
Sorry bout dat, it's a jusa lil speech impediment on tha count dat i's inbred! Ya me mum is also me sister, hyuk! Muh cousin is also my brother hurhyuk.
I lik pence cuz he a god fearin christian like me. I rly lik that he's da rezon that indiana is still the only state that can't sell beer and wine on sundays. hurhyuk He really upholds tru crishtan amurican valyews, even tho the constitution states that thers a separation of church and state and that most of the foundin fathers were atheists and deists, hurdurg also the fact that sience proves that god doesn't exist thru burden of proof, hyuk!
Ah luv muh guns, I have a whole entyr aresenal of em becuz GUBMENT COMIN TO GET US. I hear dem police scanner noises comin from da air vents. Also ahm a massiv racist cuz i dropped outta elementary school hyuk.
Ah oppose all welfare. Ppl need to learn the valyu of workin hard! Even tho I'm on Medicare, Medicaid, disability, and receive mah soshal security income, HUR
Well I gotta get bak 2 builden that sodomy shed now, hurdurghyuk.
>hurdurgadurgadurgahurdurgadurgadurga durgdurgadurgadurgadoo banjo music ends
>>30013765
Here's your (You). Thanks for posting.
I am now a #cuck4her
#feminism #maleprivilege
>>30013765
post this wall of text on /pol/
>tfw computer on the living room
>>30013748
>hear keys jingling at front door
>begin closing tabs
>some are the kind that have a pop up asking 'are you sure lol'
>the porn you're watching is still buffering while playing
>you hit pause, stop, even close the tab but it remains
>it's no good
>front door begins to open
>unplug your porn frozen computer and pretend to be stretching as they walk in front door
>"Hi, Anon."
>'Huh? Oh hey..frickin computer froze on me, how was your guys' day?'
>not having your computer pointed towards the wall so no one can unexpectedly see your trap porn
>>30013796
just turn your monitor off for fucks sake
>mom asks me to mow lawn
>after an hour I have to call her to ask her how to turn it on
>mow half the lawn and go over wood and break the lawnmower blade
>try to fix it by smashing it with a hammer
>the whole thing snaps off
>one half of the lawn is nice and the other looks overgrown andshitty
>spend the rest of the day crying
I feel like fucking homer simpson or something, how have I managed to fuck this one thing she asks of me up?
Glad my mommy never asks me to do anything, not after her last mistake.
Iktf anon
>Mother has friends for dinner last week
>She asks if I can lay the table
>Tells me all the plates and cups and silverware are in the kitchen but she has to go out so can I just do it
>she says it doesn't matter how it is as long as it is tidy and nice
>she leaves
>I want to help her because I do not help enough and feel bad
>go to the kitchen
>look
>there are like 4 different types of fork and knife, several plates and bowls and glasses
>start by putting the glasses around the chairs, 10 chairs at the total, 10 glasses so it makes sense
>then I realise I put the glasses where the plates need to go
>decide to put the forks and the knives into the glasses
>put the plates onto the seats
>take a step back
>realise it isn't right
>take all the glasses with the knives and forks off the table
>put the plates onto the table so when people sit the plate will be in front of them
>take 3 of each type of fork and put them down on top of the plates, do the same with the 3 types of knife
>put the glasses on their sides
>have only one type of fork left, so 10 forks, small strange forks, don't know what they are for
>take some tape, and tape them to the chairs
>still not sure what I was thinking
>mother comes home
>she thinks I did it as a joke
>tells me to get out and stay in my room all night
I'm sorry, I just can't do things
>With then close friend at a pier
>Wanted her picture with one of those novalty bill boards they often have there
>Gives me her phone but it locks itself before can operate it
>Tell her but she won't give me the code to unlock it
>Instead comes over to unlock it her self while berating me over it
>"Ugh the hell? It's not like it's difficult Anon. You're useless"
>Happens a few more times
>Wanted to throw the phone into the sea and walk off
Yeah I know I'm a faggot
How does it feel to successfully impregnate someone?
Kind of scary, kind of anxious, but good. Unless you didn't want it.
Feels like your life ended.
>>30013704
Boy pussies don't get pregnant
This picture isn't even shooped, why do robots pretend white women are the most attractive?
>>30013691
where did her torso go?
>>30013691
Chloe Grace "My bodies rounder than my face" Moretz
>>30013691
it is shopped but she still fat
id still hit it
I used to browse this piece of shit last year and wed get posts every five minutes. Now threads dont get new comments except every half hour. This place is slow. What gives? Even pol is faster.
Its still sort of night time r9k.
The kiddies wont flood the board with normie shit for 3 hours at least. Come back then.
>>30013680
My shitty threads dont get any repies
take mine
This board is trash tier. Only posts about Girls or traps get traffic
Holy shit guys, this has never happened before, a girl is sending me nudes.
I thought this only ever happened to Chad?
(pic not related, I'm not retarded enough to post the real ones)
how are you supposed to respond when a girl sends you nudes? i wouldn't know what to do
>>30013663
um.. ur forgetting that ur profile pic is chad..
>>30013763
tell them it's hot, optionally that you're gonna jo to them.
>tfw 18yr old kissless virgin
Do i still have hope? I didn't even go to prom
The kiss is yet to come, dont worry anon.
>>30013656
was in your exact shoes 8 years ago
if you go to college and put all of your effort into losing your virginity and do NOT try to psychologically shield yourself from embarrassment by saying "it will happen by itself" or "Im above having sex like these other normies" than you will literally ruin your life.
Just try to have sex with a girl, believe in yourself, and you will have the confidence and peace of mind to continue improving your life.
I remeber being 18. Thought it would just happen anytime soon. Now I turned 21.
Don't fall for the the right girl will cross you day meme
Go out, talk to girls, try to make friends with girl friends.
>be defiant and independent 15yo gurl
>cross the railtrack directly because fuck the safe underpass, I am such a young rebel and gonna live forever
>get hit by a train and die
But wait, there's more.
>be talking at the phone while cross the aforementioned railtrack...
>...with the boyfriend...
>...of one of her friend, that were with her when she died.
Is this the kind of life you get to live when you're a normie?
Was she playing pokemon go?
>>30013767
S-she was talking with the boyfriend of one of her friend... did you even read the post?
>>30013619
I really was looking forward to a discussion about this. I am very lonely.
Tick tock, wagie. Back to work tomorrow.
bullying those that werent born into the same luxurious life you were again huh chad?
>>30013554
This is the laziest fucking neet post I've ever seen
>>30013578
>luxurious life
Living in the basement and spending all your meager money on anime figurines is hardly luxury.
A fan of Joeys world tour food reviews? Think again!
https://youtu.be/yYAdpbRrij8
>>30013535
that was not even remotely funny or entertaining
>>30013535
stop posting your awful videos here, they already show up in my recommended tab enough
U eat like a baby :)
>tfw no bicurious fbw
I just want to suck some dick
>>30013515
>tfw iktf famalam
>>30013515
>tfw people on this board whine about intimacy with girls all the time but all you need is a no-strings-attached, purely sexual relationship
Hahah fags
132abcde
Let's have an /r9k/ approved porn thread?
Are all the white boys on r9k pedophiles who want loli, or betas who want interracial?
Both of her holes are his
Come on robots, get to fapping
