You have a fucktoy for 30 minutes
How do you occupy yourself?
>>29231169
if she has a dick with pleasure, if not out the door she goes
>>29231169
make her suck my dick and deepthroat it, spit on it while i smack her face, fuck her throat pull it out and smear her on her face, then play around a bit with her butthole, fuck it if it looks nice, then fuck her mouth again
when i feel like pop put her in missionary and cum as hard as i can deep inside her
>>29231169
>spit swapping for 8 minutes
>i tongue fuck her asshole for another 10 minutes
>fuck her asshole with my dick for another 10 minutes while sucking on her nipples and kissing her lips
>I ejaculate in her asshole and then watch my cum dripping out for 2 minutes
Realistically, what are the chances of having our consciousnesses moved to robots in our lifetimes? I want to be a qt trap but also not be a hon faggot, so I reckon I can have another 20 odd years of being miserable if in the future we can all get to be cute feminine androids
>>29231166
Approaching 0%. I doubt your great grand children will see it.
>>29231225
Wasn't there a story a few years back about some Russian billionaire who volunteered for it around 2050? Or that might have been a body transplant
Google Calico seem to be doing interesting stuff too
>>29231264
you mean this one? even if it happens in our lifetime it will be too expensive for the average pleb
>havent been with a girl in over a year
>dream of womens bodies every single night
>decide to try a social/dating app
>0 messages or replies
>this shebeast has multiple awards that show 10+ men are messaging her weekly, heaps of profile views, heaps of positive rating (likes) etc
What the fuck is wrong with dating in the 1st world? Industrialization was a fucking mistake.
Its not fair that men have to...
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>Why racemixing is bad.jpg
Thank god mongrels come out looking so ugly half the time, or the white race might really be in trouble at this point
>>29231157
What are you on about? That chick looks 100% south east asian to me, not mixed.
That's just how it works pham.
The world will never go back. It will only go forward. Forward into suffering. The life of nobody is getting better. It is only getting worse, and we cannot change this. Those who can never will, hence why they are in charge. Humans have a certain hate for new things, as evidenced by the public outlash after any significant change.
It is as they say, if you stare long enough into the abyss the abyss stares back into you.
>fat roastie breaks up with her boyfriend
>Asks me on a date two days later
I fucking hate women. What do I do to /burn/ this roastie fuck
put your willy in her and then scream in her face that she's a disgusting monster and nobody will ever love and run away
>>29231147
>Put your willy in her
No thanks. Actual intercourse disgusts me.
>>29231128
Say you'll give her your numer, then give her the number for Narcotics Anonymous
Hai there!
I'm a 22 year old fembot slut and I am accepting bf applications
-Must not be a virgin
-Must be attractive (read: must be Chad)
-Must not mind that I am unloyal, and entitled, have nudes and porn of me on the Internet, and expect you to do everything for me. Oh and I'll also fuck other guys while I'm with you, because I do that. DON'T SLUT SHAME ME
>posting an attractive girl
Missed the ball senpai. It kind of defeats the purpose
>>29231135
>some malnourished emo slut with cum on her face is attractive
no
You make this thread every day dude
Has any anon ever thought about becoming a comic? I see some pretty funny shit on this site, shit that legit gives me an ab workout and I'm guessing there's at least one anon on there that's created a handful of memes that would work well on the stage.
If not then I'll probably use some of these stories as a template and write a routine out of it. Test it out on some friends and eventually on an open mic if it gets a laugh from em.
>>29231051
Do a test run here, I'll be candid about my review.
>haha so get this guy's, the other day I had to pee but my family was still awake so i peed in the 2l mountain dew bottle then went back to sleep
>it was really hard because my stomach was growling, see I was really hungry and last night we had family staying the night in the living room so I couldn't get up to sneak any food for fear of being seen
>thank God I at least stuck to the bathroom to fill up another bottle and make some crystal light
>I...
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>>29231218
Pseud.
You have a button that would remove every 'fembot' from r9k and replace each one with a stacy.
Would you press it?
I'd say the less women the better, but if there are going to be women, it would be better that they are stacys.
women emulate/adapt to their environment.
A Stacey on r9k for over a month would just morph into a pretty princess
>>29231040
>remove every 'fembot' from r9k and replace each one with a stacy
All females are stacies. So in effect, nothing would happen.
>>29231040
H-ha ha why would you do that? :( Pls what makes you think this way?
>decide to prank mom
>she's chilling on her computer
>go in front of her and say
>"hey mom, I invited a girl over when you weren't here hahaha"
>she looks at me with her apathy-oozing face
>"you and girls? is this a joke?"
>>29231025
>"hey mom I'm going out for a walk"
>get ridiculed like I haven't been since middle school
>go back to room
>don't leave for the rest of the day
>>29231129
What did she say mate? Tell me.
>>29231145
>"What? Can you repeat that? I almost had a heart-attack! You? Going on a walk? Is something wrong? Are you trying to hide something? I have to call [family members] and tell them this, they won't believe me! You'll give us all heart-attacks! Hahaha, where would you even go?"
I don't recall exactly obviously but something along those lines.
>only poop once a week
>on the day i poop it takes at least 3 sessions to get it all out
>3 uncomfortable at the least and painful at the most, poops once a week
why
>>29231013
You shoud really go to a doctor this could kill you
You lack fiber.
Take laxatives. Change what you eat.
Hi,
I'm a 23 year old virgin and I am accepting girlfriend applications
-Must be a virgin
-Must be attractive
-Must not mind that I have no friends, social life, personality, interests or employment prospects
ewww you're ugly though
>>29230996
We get your satire bro, it is spot on. Now stop it please you silly you!
i am taking any gf, only requirement is that you are a biological female
Who else one testicle here? I lost mine at 16 due to testicular torsion. Haven't had any sexual experience and I'm 21 now. Originally I was too scared of the embarrassment of trying to explain it to any future partner, now I'm too scared to even talk to women. Is there any hope for me?
>>29230946
i don't know that feel bro but if it's any consolation my virginity is forever sealed by phimosis
(don't tell me just stretch bro, been there done that)
>>29230968
been to the doctor? Also one of my mates who has phimosis had a one night stand with a girl who didnt even notice or said nothing.
>>29230980
Both doctors I've been to suggested Circumcision and I can't bring myself to go through with it when even if I did get it I'd still be too autistic to get a gf.
>just paid 150 for a hooker
>I couldn't even get hard
>2mins of trying to get hard
>told her she could leave
>she left
>still soft
Why am I so pathetic robots
Pic related it's me
>not making the whore suck your flaccid dick?
huevo ese?
>>29230942
I don't speak Spanish
>tfw you cant grow any facial hair because lack of faical hair runs in your family
i mean their isnt even one family member in my family who has a mustache or a bird or a good amount of faical hair
the most far that i got is that shit tier mustache that you get after pubirty and that is as much as i can get
pic related
shit i ment to say beard sorry
>>29230883
If that's you, you have chad-tier facial aesthetics and you don't need to grow a beard. Also, you don't belong here.
bump
orinlolblbl
Let's do this:
http://ruinmysearchhistory.com/
>>29230789
what is this ?
You have been muted for 8 seconds, because your comment was not original.
>>29230789
Kek, the only thing out of the ordinary was the ISIS-related stuff. Still funny.
You saw this on Reddit you fucking normalcunt.
Who /prudeparents/ here?
My father is very religious and actively tries to stop me from masturbating. I'm nineteen and NEET.
>Go to my room
>"Why is the door closed?"
>Start habitually locking my door in the hopes he won't think anything of it
>"Stop locking your door, there's no need to do that"
>Go to my room in the middle of the day to fap
>"What...
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Daily reminder that sex is healthy and natural and good goys should masturbate to porn every day
Sounds like you should just fap in church.
Just straight up tell him you're trying to masturbate and he'll leave you alone.
Damn americans act like their parents are complete strangers