Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 486. page
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>gf moving in on the 23rd of this month
>roommate out of town
>ex-turned fuckbuddy who I stopped seeing after I got a new gf hit me up and wants to fuck
Give me one good reason I shouldn't do it. There's literally 0 chance of being caught outside of my own violition.
>>29811205
adultery is pretty fucked up.
1 reason: cause youd run to r9k with tears blinding your eyes if your Gf did this to you, youd whine "FUCKING ROASTIES WHY DO BICTHES ALWAYS CHEAT ON ME REEEEE"
>>29811205
If you wouldn't be mad if your girlfriend cheated on you then there is no problem
>every piece of dating advice ever tells me to "make a move" as early as possible
>second date with a girl
>go get drinks, afterwards go to my apartment to watch a movie
>try to initiate sex
>she doesn't want to
>okay whatever
>she goes home after movie
>think everything is okay
>it's not
>she says I moved too fast and that made her uncomfortable
>she doesn't know if she wants to keep seeing me after that
I'm destined for failure. I don't even know why I try anymore.
You found out she's not attracted to you and avoided getting friendzoned. Be happy.
by make a move they mean groping or kissing not just fuck her unless she's a total roastie. are you actually that retarded
>>29811202
Why would she go on 2 dates with me if she weren't attracted to me?
>>29811217
We already kissed on the first date and we made out for like 20 minutes before I tried to take off her cardigan. What did I possibly do wrong?
>not spending all your NEET time writing short science fiction
Why not robots? Why do so little robots show interest in writing?
I suck at it
>>29811156
Keep practicing. Everyone is shit at first. I'm still shit and I've written a lot.
The majority lack any real creativity hence their autistic fixations on things like shit animu which is repetitive, uninspired, and full of recycled tropes. They also would rather invest their time and energy on unproductive, no-effort hobbies like gaming or shitposting.
>penis won't stop inverting into me
Bump
Please help. I'm not fat. My dick is literally 0.75-1 inch flaccid, 6 inches hard.
Someone please tell me this is normal and okay.
>>29811378
MAXIMUM GROWER
Use it to troll girls to death, thiy think you are monster with microdick and suddenly benis appears
>Post something you think is "clever"
>F5 thread until replies get in
> get a >>(You)
> person types "heh"
>Look back and read your comment and laugh out loud
is anyone else this pathetic?
Nice try OP, no (You) for you.
>get a reply
>start pacing around the room in excitement
>>29811077
I do this in more or less every single thread. I personally think it is pretty common
>learning difficulties
>disabilities
>little one-eyed retard with hearing aids
I dont have a TV show setting me up with qt autistic girls
I'm a high functioning autist and have social anxiety. Can I get on the show please?
>listening to female singers
Are you out of the woods yet anon?
Out of the woods? You mean out of the closet anon? Jesus
>>29811055
I don't find tswift that hot but I wanna rip her clothes off and fuck her raw in this pic
>got breast and ass implants
Ruined
Who /fat fuck/ here?
I don't mean a little bit overweight.
I mean obese.
>tfw food is the only thing I have left
just calories in calories out my man you can do it
>>29810998
Fatty here. Worst part of being born fat as a girl is that you're literally the only kind of girl that robots wont date. Even fat robots wont come near me. It sucks so bad
>>29811247
>being born fat
I was a fat baby but now I'm a skellington. You're not "born fat", you've just voluntarily chosen to eat an unhealthy amount of food.
ITT: Sentences no one has ever said before
Example:
>Don't you hate it when you're cleaning the yard and your dad shoves a can of spaghetti o's up your ass
The shorter your sentence or phrase the better
I love being NEET.
speed magnetizer
>>29810990
xqp9
Wtf is happening. Is it something we're putting in the food?
Soon you won't even be able to tell the difference anymore.
>>29810979
No way in hell she's 14
>>29810979
It's the aliens pumping us full of hormones in preparations for us to be cattle.
Comment Oregano.
Reminder that if you find this attractive you're clearly a pedophile and need to off yourself ASAP.
Pic related is making millions being a meme on YouTube, yet you autists will find every reason possible to not apply yourselves
>>29810957
I dont like what you are saying but I wont argue with that. Its just that pewds is a product and not even a good one actually. I would be a worse if I tried.
He is charismatic, attractive, savvy and crucially was in the right place at the right time.
>>29811173
Pewds learned how to market his brand, and exploit the fact that people have too much time on their hands
Every time you make an excuse for yourself you are literally saying that you like being poor and living like a peasant
Have some self respect for your future, find something you are good at and make a name for yourself
Learn a skill and keep improving that skill until you are confident that you cannot get any better and sell it to Mr Shekelstein for profit.
Stop thinking like a sorry beta who only knows how to play the victim card and think like a person who has a fucking brain
Ara ara anon-kun, what could you possibly want from an old snake like me?
Eh? you want to do what? B-but you're just a human!
venom
>>29810947
Scales so I can weave some armor. That way I'll always have you by my side.
>Go back to your sweetie, mommy's busy right now
ha! look at this fool! you forgot a word you fucking idiot! hahahahahaha
>>29810914
>get fucked so hard you can't even complete a sentence
>>29810914
WHAT HAPPENED TO THEIR EYES???
>its another 'anon wakes up at noon and browses 4chan the rest of the day' episode
>its another "wear nothing but the same pair of underwear for 4 days straight episode"
>>29810826
Woke up at 8 AM. Doing laundry and occasionally going to stir the crock pot. Going to head off to the shrink in a little over two hours. That'll take up the whole afternoon. Probably gonna play Factorio when I get back. Or get drunk and browse /r9k/.
Don't think that really quite counts.
Completely unrelated: Why do none of you robots have a crock pot? Seriously man. You can get hacked up stew meat for cheap, a jar of minced garlic for cheap, and cutting sweet peppers into quarters is quicker than microwaving tendies. And then your house smells like good cooked food instead of cumsocks!
>>29810863
>wearing underwear
>>>/facebook/
Eat more cum faggot you lack testosterone
Are these actually good? Or is it just a hentai meme?
>>29810761
okay. I'll try my best.
>>29810761
SOURCE? thats the shit that gets my dick hard
