Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 5731. page
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Don't get a gf guys. It's a fucking trap, no not that kind of trap. Save yourself the heartache. The saying "it's better to have loved and lost" is complete bullshit. You may feel lonely, but it's better than having your world repeatedly destroyed. It was all so futile.
How about you fuck off normie
>>26079851
Well I don't feel lonely at all, so thanks for further solidifying my thoughts on women.
Relationships are bad only if you are a pussy
Of course your life is going to be shit if you let some woman walk over you.
If you can't control the women in your life, you will die miserable.
That's what being a man is about
So, about 5 days ago, I ordered a "snuggler" from a website called snugglebuddies. For one hour of snuggling and cuddling with a girl of your choosing, I payed $80, and I fucking enjoyed it. Now, whats your opinion about paying for women to cuddle with you? Would you? Does it seem cringey or desperate to you?
Just buy a fucking body pillow, goddam.
>>26078106
A body pillow doesn't have that humanly warmth, nor the soft touch or lovehandles of a woman
>>26078091
wow that's depressing, get a dog or something
![7ec3dce76c038367bae2aa1e2e8a4971[1].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/Zuo2UUs.jpg "7ec3dce76c038367bae2aa1e2e8a4971[1]")
Its done boys, you did good.
http://www.news.com.au/lifestyle/real-life/wtf/miami-doctor-filmed-attacking-uber-driver-explains-herself/news-story/f93d6b11081c33facd93c72a8c5fcf75?utm_content=SocialFlow&utm_campaign=EditorialSF&utm_source=News.com.au&utm_medium=Facebook
I have to admit...I'm satisfied with her apology.
she needs to get btfo
i want her to get btfo
>30 and looks 18.
Why are white women the only women that age so badly?
Umm...anon is that an android phone
>>26077084
fuck off back to starbucks and never mention my name again you pathetic normie whores
I fucking love android holy fuck
My ipod touch is literally shit with the new ios updates
>>26077084
Psh, no, i'm dumb as fuck and can only operate an iphone. Please kill me
Would you date a girl who smokes /r9k/?
>>26076998
Yes but I like smoking too so there's that.
Went on one date with a girl who smoked. It was kind of annoying, she was constantly complaining that she needed to smoke and was getting irritable in its absence.
It's a lovely habit.
I wouldn't care because I smoke
Anyone seen this?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w6CCePrJlaU
/slam/ general?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FB3d8SJrcBU
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ozBMFYnunrI
>>26076234
i never make it more than a few seconds into slam poetry. too much autistic liberal bullshit.
>>26076277
I can't believe I made it the whole way through. Bitch is hot.
Whatever happened to that girl with the biggest boobs in your school?
She died in a car accident Senior year.
She went off to community college, then to a 4 year school.
I think she's working as a cashier at price chopper. That's where I saw her last year. For all I know she's pregnant now.
When I went on holiday I had no way of looking at porn because no smart phone or WIFI in the hotel. All I had was my 3DS and I remember that it got to point where I was just became way 2horny so I drew shitty hentai on Swapnote and jacked off to it. The art was fucking terrible and I felt so ashamed for it.
masturbating with my dad's vibrating toothbrush
>>26071192
I've pulled my gf's sisters panties out of the dryer and rubbed them around my cock while jacking it. Lacey thongs aren't very soft lol.
>masturbated in the back of the car during a family road trip
I am a top notch stoic.
>wake up at 3PM and roll out of my racecar bed
>piss jugs are all full, have to use the toilet like some subhuman normie
>waddle downstairs to find mummy for my wakey-wakey tendies and bakey
>lights off, nobody there
>there is a note on the refrigerator
>"Pumpkin, Dytravius and I have gone to the movies for the afternoon I made some of your favorite chicky tendies just heat them up in the microwave if you get hungy for num-nums. Love you, Mom"
>fucking cunt has let my tendies get cold and mushy
>and she expects me to heat them up myself like a slave
>she will fucking learn today
>change out of my cloth diaper into a disposable and hit the road
>spend the entire walk to the cinema filling my diapey with poo poo
>arrive at the theater parking lot and coat myself in a thin layer of pee pee and poo
>brace myself and enter the lobby
>let loose my battle cry
>RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
>"MY PRECIOUS TENDIES HAVE GONE TO WASTE, NOW MY POOPY YOU SHALL TASTE"
>pull handfuls of poop out of my diaper and fling them at random
>staff tries to stop me but I am too quick and too slippery
>entire venue is being evacuated
>navigate my way to White Holes Black Poles 8 in the adult section
>mummy and new daddy are in the front row
>covered in poo and pee, two steaming loads in each hand
>mummy's face is a mixture of shock and indescribable terror
>walk slowly towards her while chanting "..tendies...tendies...tendies..."
>our eyes are locked
>as if from far away I hear new daddy say "ayo wut tha fuck this nigga-"
>cease my low chanting with a final "TENDIEEEEES" and smash the handfuls of rancid diarrhea onto either side of her head
>bring my piss-soaked face right up to hers
>her ears are filled with my poo, eardrums are ruptured, and eyes are nearly blinded by a mixture of tears and more poo
>say very slowly and clearly
>"Don't you ever fuck with my chicken tenders again."
And the best part is the dumb whore was too scared to even take away any of my good boy points
>go into micky d's for some mid-afternoon tendies
>order my chicky-chicky tendy-wendies and ask for just a water cup because "i'm trying to shrink this tubby tummy" with a wink at the cashier
>walk over to the soda fountain, pour out the icewater, and fill it up with my super secret soda formula (it's coke, dr pepper, and just a smidge of hawaiian punch teehee)
>prance out while cackling maniacally before the normies can call the cops on me for soda theft
>go home and enjoy the spoils of war
>>26070833
That was pretty good, I like how you changed the game by going TO the bitch instead of waiting for her to come back to you.
>>26070858
normies absolutely BTFO
Lets post some feely music.
I'll go first.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mwnoNVOj1Fs
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZgrE-g_rCi8
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-mEWlGLkjIw
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jMBisq2b3yQ
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WcCWEcy2uiA
>>26067196
https://soundcloud.com/deathgrips/on-gp
been listening to it a lot.
What do you want at this very moment?
A fucking job where I don't have to interact with fucking people.
To be happy for one fucking moment at least.
![tumblr_mp6zd19GK91rdnwxgo3_1280[1].png](https://i.imgur.com/jMw0eBR.jpg "tumblr mp6zd19GK91rdnwxgo3 1280[1]")
I want to turn to stone in a elysian meadow somewhere.
>Normies took video games
>Normies took comic books
>Normies took the nerd scene
>Normies are slowly taking anime and manga
What hobbies are even sacred anymore?
normies even took tendies wtf
>>26050187
posting on mongolian cave painting forums, oh wait, normies took that too
Woodshop
Wakey wakey wagecucks. You got to shit, piss, wash, brush, get dressed, commute to work and get to Shecklesburgs inc. RIGHT NOW!
I'm actually getting out right now familia after sleeping and playing on my exclusively cool 3ds! :D
I didn't answer the phone this time because no one called! :D
>>26080928
Better than sitting around all day in bed like I'm doing and getting poorer by the minute
>>26080958
Why you no /neetbux/?
>neighbors dog bark every day am starting at sunrise
>neighbor is a trucker recheck retard
>he idles his truck for half an hour at a time outside my house starting at 630
>have thin walls
>can hear everything in house
>if I wear earplugs I can't hear my alarm
WELP
>>26080919
There are two different models of vibrating alarm clocks available on Amazon. Both work well, better than trusting a cell phone vibration alarm. I have the orange pager looking one, I just put it under my pillowcase.
Similar circumstances.
>people are doing stuff that is annoying me
>I'm too much of a bitch to do anything about it
wow
>>26080919
I live in a gated community and the cunt squeaks everytime it opens.
5am-10am (midnight) annoys me the most.
>Hey anon, should i lose some weight?
What do?
You should do whatever you think is good for yourself within reason.
>>26080906
You actually have a sexy body
>>26080906
she should really lose some weight desu senpai
