Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 7679. page
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Sup wage chucks. While you keks are at work I am feeding my kitty expensive food. You have no pet, you say? You're work is your pet? Oh the things you say for another doller!
Feed my kitty the same food every morning
I'm a NEET btw
This is the weakest one yet
>he owns a cat
Nothing is more rewarding than a bond with a well-trained dog built up through years of work.
>Be me
>Start hanging with this girl from my college
>We start dating
>Have sex, she says shes on the pill
>I'm a fucking idiot and I don't use a condom.
4 months later
>She starts feeling weird
>Goes to the doctor
>Do some tests on her
>Oh fuck she's pregnant.
>I make 50K a year.
>Can barely pay rent, loans, etc.
>No experience with babies.
>Never held a baby.
>Never changed a diaper.
>Never fed a baby.
>I don't even like children in general.
Well, looks like I'm absolutely fucked.
Yeah youre pretty fucked
>>24889649
agreed unless you can get her to abort it
>>24889481
Does your house have stairs?
Do you own wire hangers?
Actually did pretty well on my speech I had to give today. Really surprising because I didn't practice at all and I only wrote it the night before. Gotta study more tonight. Nearly done
Hey skelly been putting in OT at work. Got my first check over 1k fit two weeks so excited about that. Found out I need to put 20% down to avoid some stupid tax that's a few hundred $ or some shit. Just been saving up desu this is only my 3rd check regular is like 850 so I have to keep up this OT.
>>24890006
Whoops forgot my name. GG on the speech bro it's hard to go in front of ppl
>>24890006
Hey pretty good manj, saving up for anything in particular?
>>24890034
Yeah for the longest time I couldn't even look people in the eye, but my parents kept reinforcing how important that was so I eventually just started doing it all the time.
CODE D CODE D
>colleagues went behind my back and behind my explicit protests and bought me a hooker
>she'll arrive any minute now
Fucking shit.
>>24889406
Don't let her in.
Allow yourself to get angry at your colleagues. Chew them out.
just let it happen anon
>>24889446
>>24889500
Don't listen to these anons unless you want std's. If they already payed for her then let her know you don't want sex and ask her if she just wants to chill with you for the alotted time and pretend to be a friend or girlfriend or something.
Post your balances
>tfw payday in less than 6 hours
>tfw so close to 20k
>>24889289
Fucking normie.
fuckdabot
>>24889289
where do you work at?
I have 20 right now, will be paid 256 tomorrow
>>24889289
>tfw poor as dirt.
is it normal to have that much money in your account?
christ.... even 100 bucks right now would be life changing
Post your pets doing adorable shit right meow
bump
original comment, so original
My childhood pets all died. By the time they died they all resented me and barely tried to interact with me. I have no friends, I don't deserve love.
>>24889342
dont say that, anon. im sure you deserve love.
>speech impediment, have a lisp
>secret Santa at work today
>my gift time came
>loud and annoying 'top lad' started laughing
>'I got you anon!'
>literally the worst case scenario, he always makes fun of me
>he hands me a box
>feels like a box of Quality Street
>actually feeling quite happy
>start to open it
>open the box
>it is a tin of quality street
>but there is a piece of card over the top
>says 'Qualispy street' in crude writing
>I slowly open the tin
>Not normal quality street sweets
>lad cunt laughs
>''anon, its a box of chocolate just for you!''
>all the chocolates are ones with the letter S featured heavily
>Strawberry Laces
>Flying Saucers
>Foam Bananas
>Allsorts
>Maltesers
>Aero Bubbles
>I am too humiliated to eat them
>everyone agrees it was really funny and they eat all my sweets
>tfw I am close to giving up
Seriously, why even bother being a fucking wagekek if I have to be surrounded by fucking bullying normies?
>>24889224
it was just a prank brah
>>24889224
at this point i think you should just go shoot up your work place desu senpai. if you're gonna kill yourself you might as well make those fuckers pay for torturing you all these years.
best of luck to you OP, i hope you find peace one day
>>24889224
>quality street
>flying saucers
Is this real life or fantasy?
>tfw 22 and only attracted to older women
Anyone else know this feel?
Im way more attracted to my gf's mom than her because of it.
>>24889072
Just have them both you omega
haha imagine her falling down the cliff and scraping her big boobies and vagoo all on the rocks hahahah
>gf
ROOOOOOAAARGGGGAAARRGGG ITS FUCKING OVER NORMALSHIT THIS IS YOUR FINAL WARNING LEAVE NOW OR THE CONSEQUENCES WILL BE DIRE!
fembot here, just finished sucking off Chad in a public bathroom, felt good, hows your virginity going?
It's going great, how's the AIDS treating you?
>>24889059
Maximum bait
>>24889059
how many chads have you fucked/sucked?
Would /r9k/ support a law like this one? I mean, after all, it could end >tfw no gf and >tfw no bf for both parties.
>>24888977
i would support it if the same went for boys also, i want a personal boy slave
>>24888977
so mudslimes take over the world in 2022?
>>24889016
Who would own the slaves?
Let's post some pictures about comfy looking placesor gore pics/webms
reminds me of my old apartment
Fuck you filter
>>24888742
would love apartment like that with huge windows to work besidde. too bad all I could afford would be a shitty little hole.
>tfw your computer is over 7 years old
I'm in the same boat as you. Just go for the upgrade man. My 7 year old pc costed 1200 when I got it. New one costed 550 and is up to date. It's worth it.
>>24888698
My grandad still uses his Windows 95 computer 3-4 times per week.
>laptop is almost 5 years old
>hard drive somehow went to shit
>looking into how to fix it
Should I just get a new one?
What's wrong with this show? I heard some anons here don't like it. Is it just because they're female? I watched the show and found it clever at some points and pretty enjoyable, other than the (rare) "DUDE VAGINA LMAO" jokes that are bound to happen. I never enjoy female comedians either.
Thoughts?
>>24888672
The girl on the right looks like anime
>>24888672
I love it. Most of the "LOL MY VAGINA" jokes are done in deprecatory way anways. They're not really "comedians" though in the old-fashioned stand-up sense, and I like how they acknowledge that.
>>24888770
Blur your eyes, it will freak you out.
It's just genetics, go ahead and eat it.
>>24888664
It's just genetics.
That looks like a post-op scrotum.
>>24888664
Upon first looking at this image I literally thought that was some kind of animal
>tfw no tranny to skype with that likes black guys
>tfw no one to skype with that likes black guys on here
I like black guys anon
Haha just kidding no one likes black guys.
4chan isn't the place to find a relationship in general so you aren't missing much
Reminder that black guys are worse keks from here.
