Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 2237. page
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discus cwc
latest video
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eJjtZ0IJIEA
top tuck job
>>28950072
Johan's video was better desu
>>28950072
good bulking
>be me
>close friends with lesbian oneitis
>hang out often
>realize that every time we hang out I've been unconciously pretending that we're dating
Who else /fucking pathetic/ here?
>>28950060
lel
>lesbian oneitis
truly sorry for you
>close friends with lesbian oneitis
>close friends
>friends
got lost looking for /r/4chan you fucking normie
Lesbians aren't real you absolute mong
>too poor to buy new shows
>rainy season has started
>giant holes in the bottom of my shoes
>they literally fill with water every time I walk outside
JUST
>He buys shows
Woah hold on there old man, how the frickity frick did you find this place even. Ever heard of of watching thise shows online for free? Or downloading them. If you didn't know about it now you do. You're welcome, I hope I made your life better.
>too poor to buy new shoes
this is a bad feel
>>28950036
Why are they so expensive! Don't even think about suggesting $10 autism shoes from kmart
I disliked gay people before it was cool
You must be like 3000 years old
>>28949969
is it cool now?
i honestly don't know
I was gay before it was cool
>tfw no loyal and thin average-looking shut-in NEET soulmate gf with decent taste in anime and vidya
>you'll never live together in a small shitty apartment living off NEETbucks and doing lewd stuff all day long while barely going outside
I used to believe that these type of girls were an undesirable meme, and that relationships weren't worth it (typical robot mindset). Boy, was I wrong. Turns out that this type is essentially THE only type that would ever interest me, as long as they meet my specific expectations. Approaching other materialistic Norman whores is a fucking waste of time and guaranteed suffering compared to this superior archetype, if possible at all.
>>28949959
/r9k/'s delusions, you can't make this shit up
>>28950109
wow you sure told him!!
>tfw 13 year old doggo has started walking very slowly with his tail down and hiding under furniture all day long probably getting ready to die, while entire family is going out of town for a month leaving me to deal with doggo's demise on my own
Robots usually have a lot of free time, and I know that some of them write poetry, books, or just fantasies during that time.
Share your writing in this thread, whether it's a poem, short story, or a 700 page book you've been writing.
Don't be scared to share your work, even if you think its terrible, I'd love to read it.
A few robots liked the last thread I made, so I decided to make a new onethough really I'm just doing it since I enjoy them myself.
>>28949940
I once was one of the very few anons in a /r9k/ poetry thread to bother with syllabic patterns and etymologically unrelated rhymes.
That isn't about any talent though, it was about willingness to give effort for the end product's quality.
>>28949971
I was never great at poetry, but I can relate to putting effort into the end product's quality.
I'd rewrite the same paragraph 3-4 times, and even then I wouldn't be satisfied with the result.Having talent would make life so much easier.
>>28950010
I can relate in the sense of being highly attached to parallelisms at some point. It has gone away a bit, but I would feel like a mess if the paragraph didn't contain an enumeration, corresponding suffixes, or at least an alliteration. I blame my minor programming background for making me expect visual symmetry or otherwise similarity between my lines.
I'm thankful for it though; symbolic, 'non-prose' so to say texts are often scientific; dislike for running prose might have turned me away from the 'soft sciences' a bit. Not that I actively dislike literature.
After 2 evenings of chatting with a qt 8/10 pale skin gold hair on Tinder, she suggests me to talk to other girls.
What the fuck /r9k/, it was going so well, she was using cute emojis, texting late, seemed to enjoy to jokes...
Beautiful girls truly are from another cast, I can easily get phone numbers from boring plain looking chicks, but this one lead me on to ignore me, I'm sad now senpai
>Tfw when the high from the temporary happiness and ego boost fades away
>>28949890
You've come to a place where everyone is starving to death to complain to them about how you have to eat mac and cheese instead of filet mignon
Fuck off
>>28949909
Did I mention I never had a gf and am a permanent virgin?
I use 2 pics on my account, one where I somehow look good (I was never able to reproduce the miracle) and one where you can't see shit. Even if I had gotten her number I would have been too much of a speed to ask her out anyways.
This thread isn't about me, it's about beautiful girls who can have whatever they want
Oh and also you should try Tinder, every 50 right swipes you get a match it's easy even for regular, below average looking fucks
>>28949890
she could tell how thirsty you were
>Ugly men have kissed/had sex/had girlfriends
>Fat men have kissed/had sex/had girlfriends
>Disabled men have kissed/had sex/had girlfriends
>Deformed men have kissed/had sex/had girlfriends
>Autistic men have kissed/had sex/had girlfriends
>Unwashed and unhygienic men have kissed/had sex/had girlfriends
>Ridiculously short men have kissed/had sex/had girlfriends
Meanwhile I am still a kissless virgin despite being normal looking, hygienic, and sociable. How does this make any sense?
>>28949878
I'm disabled and have not kissed or had sex if that makes you feel better.
>>28949878
>normal looking, hygienic, and sociable people have kissed/had sex/had girlfriends.
>>28949878
You don't actually try and when you do you always go for the most attractive females. Hit on a fat spotty woman and she'll probably get with you.
/r9k/
Why does the tfw no gf meme triumph over tfw no friends meme?
Wouldn't the average robot just want loyal friends instead?
Because we want the S U C C
>>28949896
But the waifu age is coming anon
>>28949874
A gf is a friend you can fuck, in the fantasies of a robot.
When a neurotypical person thinks of a boyfriend or grilfriend, they think "person to show off to my friends, family members and the people i don't know that follow me on social media" that's why there's so many threads of normalfags bragging about their girlfriends, to normalshit-heads a significant other is just an accessory, that's why they're okay with non-virgin gfs. The average robot wants a friend, an equal, someone to care for who cares about him that will also let him dip his peen in an orifice belonging to the partner, a robot wants someone to love unconditionally while simultaneously receiving said affection.
who /gettingolder/ here?
>feeling nostalgic
>buy some hot cheetos and a liter of Dr Pepper
>hook up my old PS2
>eat cheetos, drink, and play GTA San Andreas
>midnight rolls around
>am tired and go to bed without brushing my teeth
>wake up a few hours later
>thin film on teeth and by breath smells horrible
>stomach feels like it's boiling
>stumble into bathroom
>start shitting the consistently and spiciness of momma's chili
>the half-digested cheeto dust is burning my asshole
>pouring out in hard fart ignited spurts
>the bowl is filling up
>the chili bowl is now splashing back onto my ass
>start to feel empty
>get in the shower feeling like soldier after a fire fight
>lay back in bed
>eyes close and i start to drift off
>BEEP BEEP BEEP
>oh fuck it's my alarm
>i have to be at work in 30 minutes
And then I woke up, this was a dream. I'm not a pathetic wage cuck who let my body go to shit sitting a cubicle for meager pay.
This has been a PSA. If you or someone you love has fallen for the wage cuck meme please call our hotline for more information.
>>28949842
Everyone is getting older at the same rate, dipshit. None of us are traversing the universe.
>>28949842
what a rollercoaster
>>28949899
NEETs do not age, it's one of the many advantages
Robots, how do you get a girl to like you if she doesn't already?
>2007, junior year of high school
>girl sits down with me at lunch because I always eat alone
>we become best friends
>she calls me her platonic soulmate at times, and I fall deeply in love with her
>I confess my feelings for her in 2008, 2009, 2011, and 2014
>rejected every time because she has no romantic feelings
>January 2015
>complaining about how I feel like a loser living with my parents at almost 26
>she offers to let me live with her at her apartment
I've been her roommate ever since. I plan to ask her outo again soon.
why do you do it to yourself anon
>>28949791
Not sure what you mean.
(God damn, forum, stop muting me)
>>28949809
doesn't it hurt complacently accepting friendship when you supposedly love her?
>looking at naked women no longer turns me on or gets me hard
>thinking about a big hard cock gets me instantly erect
It never used to be like this, please make it go away
>>28949765
Stop watching porn and jerking off for at least a month. Your brain is treating cocks as a holy grail because it's new to you and you're desensitized to being turned on by women.
Same here senpai, I was never gay growing up. When I was little some kid asked if we could suck each other's dicks and I said hello no. Being gay isn't something you're born with, you learn it.
>>28949765
Unfortunately is permanent OP.
Your brain releases a chemical called dopamine when exposed to a new stimulus. Contrary to normie propaganda dopaine does not cause pleasure however it is responsible for seeking.
When you see that big, hard dick your brain surged dopamine. This dopamine caused something called deltafosb to produced which is responsible for restructuring the brain to reward you for looking at big cocks.
The problem is, this can never be reversed. Once you gain a new fetish you can never make it go away. Only avoid it.
The kicker is - the longer you abstain, the hotter it will be the next time you finally take a peak just see if "you still like it." This little, harmless look will surge your brain full of dopamine again and make your desire for faggotry even strong.
You might spend years wrestling with these thoughts, thinking that "this time will be different." But it won't.
You might as well save yourself the trouble and just go full homo right now.
My mother could have breast cancer
Is my life some long, twisted and intricate joke? If so please let the punchline come quickly
sorry anon as a way of expressing my condolensces I won't call you a stupid faggot
>>28949757
Depressed pooh poster
Spend time with her, anon. You never know. If she ends up having breast cancer, I strongly suggest coming to terms with your mother's death as early as possible, you'll need to be there for your father/siblings.
source:i'm an expert in losing my mom to cancer
My mother is taking me to the GP in a couple days, I'm gonna be taking a test there, along with some other shit. The test is apparently just to see if you have depression or anxiety.
I'm, probably, gonna score a big "yes, you have depression, and anxiety". Can the GP prescribe mental drugs, or can a psych only do so?
I might just flunk the test and answer like a normie if the latter. I'd be too scared to talk to a psych.
>pic unrelated, it was my captcha
It is a good idea to tell the truth to medical professionals
Your mom wants to help
Tell the truth, you'll be better off.
>>28949688
Your GP might diagnose whatever but will probably suggest you go to a psychiatrist. I strongly advise you to do so because your GP has limited knowledge of psych conditions and drugs.
![tumblr_o5t8gkqinf1smbflho1_1280[1].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/aA7IOW1.jpg "tumblr o5t8gkqinf1smbflho1 1280[1]")
HlGH TEST THREAD
yikes
originality
>>28949665
I thought you said high test? Post thicc cumshots or don't even bother you moderate test imposter.
>>28949665
i got high before a test once
it was religious educations studies and it was worth half a GCSE so i just drew a picture of a wasp then fell asleep
