Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 5419. page
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Why do all of you faggots like that meme-tier sardine shit? Get on the right side of history, with vienna sausage!
>doesn't taste like shit
>isn't fishy
If I wanted a Vienna sausage in my mouth, I'd ask to suck your dick.No homo.
>eating the outside first
>one soft wienie at a time
>drinking the salty wiener juice after
My favourite treat, it's popular with people from Newfoundland.
I should pick up a couple cans next time I go to the store. Thanks for reminding me Op.
Why aren't you an existentialist yet, robots?
The greatest virtue for the existentialist is solitude. Because the Overman is self-reliant and heeds no authority and no sense of morality but his own, all lesser men hate and fear the Overman. As a result he will be alone all his life -- but this is okay, since the Overman needs no one but himself.
Instead of ;_;ing about >tfw no gf, the Overman rises above the need for things like material wealth and mammalian closeness. He stokes the fire of Will in his heart and so manifests the best part of himself, the divine spark which all humans possess but which few dare to fan into a flame.
"To live is to suffer, to survive is to find some meaning in the suffering." -- Friedrich Nietzsche
>>26376901
>Tells other robots to be existentialists
>Doesn't post the original existentialist
Pretty sure that you just described the originally targeted r9k 'audience'. Not those emotional wracks that have filled this board nowadays.
Also, Sartre is also a great existentialist.
Camus fags not allowed
All the kafkeks you can handle.
what kind of poster are you?
do you mostly post to be funny?
do you most often post when something makes you butt hurt?
do you post most often to reassure yourself?
i post all the time
>>26376854
I post for fun, mostly. I enjoy dialogues, even the really cringy ones.
I also used to like posting lots of unfalsifiable mindfuck stories that make people wonder if what I'm saying actually happened, but most people just called me a faggot so I stopped doing that.
>>26376854
>I'm the one who stalls the discussion with unrelated anime images
>I'm the one who adopts the contrarian viewpoint of what everyone believes to stir up an argument
>I'm the one who posts autistic greentexts that just waste peoples time
>I'm the one who bumps shit threads and sages good ones
>I'm the one who says "Go back to le reddit" right before I open up r/funny while I wait for replies to my bait
>I'm the one who calls OP a fag every single time, even when he's not
>My existence is pointless and so is yours
>someone says they have a girlfriend
>HURR LE NORMIE GET OUT!!!
Shut the fuck up you autistic jelly-ass clown. Having a girlfriend doesn't automatically make you successful in life. There's plenty of repulsive losers that were simply confident enough to not shit their pants when facing a female. I know that's foreign to you, but can't you at least apply the portion of your brain that's not dedicated to memes?
So tired of these braindead replies. Wow, you're so damn witty and original. Do you realize you're obviously jealous as fuck? Not to mention a huge beta who puts pussy on a pedestal as if having a gf is some unbelievable, magical feat.
You sound like a fucking girl. What's wrong with you that you get so emotionally invested and post this?
>>26376891
man op got fucking completely rekt here lol
Not gonna read all that, normie.
You're still a winner, and you've never experienced failure, assclown.
Real talk: if you had to fug one, which one would you choose?
>>26376828
>if you had to
I would pay money to fuck A. The other answer is retarded. Who would actually pick the worst of both worlds?
>>26376848
Agreed, my home fry shoopity doop dop.
>>26376828
Both have obvious male characteristics so you'd be a faggot either way.
i FINALLY DID IT ROBOTS!
I GOT LAID AND IT WASNT A HOOKER
>be 23 hkv
>5'8 average build if not a bit skinny
>walking erratically around campus
>almost on the verge of tears because of all the normies walking around and talking with each other when i struggle to even say hi
>spot a qt girl
>she smiles
>for some reason i think i have something on my beard so i start stroking it to remove anything it might have stuck on it (started growing one 4 months ago on a desperate attempt to get laid if i had one)
>start sperging around
>remember she smiled at me
>try to force a smile back
>it comes out but it must have been spergy as fuck because she just bursted out laughing as i did it
>heart sinks and thoughts of suicide plague my head
>see her approaching me
>heart starts racing but just stand there waiting for her to just strike me with the killing blow that will force me into suicide that very day
>she actually says hey do i know you from somewhere
>manage to reply no, this is the first time i've seen you
>smiles for some reason and then asks me if im busy
>tell her no
>she says shes having lunch and if i can accompany her
>at this point i'm thinking its some kind of prank but agree anyway
>we have lunch and she makes most of the conversation i just sit in front of her listening to whatever she says
>heart is racing and i'm sweating a lot, keep asking her if the AC is broken or something because its so hot and she giggles everytime
>finish lunch and she says she has to go and asks me for my phone
>i actually gave her my physical phone
>she laughs loudly and says she just wanted my number
>somehow manage to respond: Y-yeah i knew i just wanted you to type it
>she lets me know the phone is blocked
>put the pattern pasword and hand it back to her
>she puts her phone and tells me to call her there so she could have my phone
>hugs me as she leaves
>>26376758
>at this point i'm on the verge of tears of joy
>can't stop smiling
>this is the best day of my life
>go back home and play videogames but can't stop thinking about the girl
>8:00pm
>someone is calling
>its the girl
>asks me if i'm doing something
>she actually asks me to come over to her place and have dinner with her
>arrive there like 30 minutes later because i don't have a car
>says she thought i wasn't coming
>i smile
>as i enter she grabs my hand and leads me to her couch
>puts some girl movie and sits down really close to me and is leaning on me
>i'm sweating and wondering what to do next
>after almost 30 minutes of wanting to do it i finally move my arm around her to hug her
>she leans towards me more
>turns her head towards me and smiles
>i smile back
>she starts getting close
>i'm almost dying of happiness on my mind
>actually kiss her and doesnt feel awkward at all
>we start kissing a lot more at this point i have a huge boner
>she puts her hand on my dick area
>feels the raging boner
>zips my pants down unbuttons my pants and takes my dick out
>we're still kissing
>she goes down on my dick without a fucking warning
>im touching her tits
>she's wearing a skirt so i actually removed her panties from below without saying anything
>touch her pussy and shes wet as fuck
>press my dick against her pussy and it goes in
>last like 25 minutes and shes exhausted
>cum inside her and she tells me she's on the pill
>cuddle afterwards
>sleep at her place and go to school feeling like a new man next day (today)
i finally did it, am i a normie now?
>>26376758
>I GOT LAID AND IT WASNT A HOOKER
NORMIES LEAVE NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
>>>/facebook/
Was waiting for this to turn into a Fresh Prince or open the door, get on the floor etc.
Instead it was just a run of the mill fake story. Disappointing.
JUST FUCK MY FUCKING SHIT UP SENPEAAAAA
>email history class TA essay for proofread
>forgot to make one small adjustment
>view sent file
>title name is still "Niggers"
WHAT THE FUCK DO I DO FUCKFUCKFUCK
Can I get expelled for this shit? Do I have to bribe the TA? Is there some sort of excuse I can make up??
>>26376666
Just say your roommate had a friend over and he changed the filename before sending the half-completed email you had left up on your computer.
>>26376666
nice trips
just blame auto correct
>>26376703
This, and pretend you're infuriated that the roommate's friend would do such a thing
>mfw 7"x5.1" penis
Am I good or is my girth considered pencil tier?
5.5 and under is pencil tier imo.
>>26376648
technically above average, but I'm 5.5 with 6 inch base girth and girls always comment on how thick it is.
>>26376677
these dubs dont lie!
but I think anything below 6" is the right answer.
Dog I've had for 12 years is dying. Fuck.
Put him to sleep before you regret not doing it.
He's been with you for too long to die miserably
Sell him to chinks, eat the noodles afterwards
>>26376675
I will take him to vet soon.
The dating world is a free market
If you can't compete, it's your own fault
>>26376632
>The dating world is a free market
Nope since it's heavily regulated by the government(in form of rape laws).
>>26376632
I agree completely, but it doesn't make the loneliness hurt less.
>>26376667
Rape is stealing though.
>>26376632
Is there a bankrupt in the dating world?
I'm sort of a normie, but I have a story to share for you.
>Have a girlfriend of 5 and a half years
>Both turning 24 this year and thinking of moving in
>Three weeks ago her parents inform they're divorcing
>Don't think it's a big deal
>She's pretty broken about it
>Babbles how she hates her mother for leaving her dad
>I agree, her dad is about the nicest guy I know
>Her mom a manipulative religious bitch
>Leaves him for pretty much no reason
>She pretty much had everything fine in her life
>Decides to figuratively shoot herself in the foot because reasons?
>Leaves everything behind, gets an apartment elsewhere
>Doesn't walk to talk things over with dad
>Is known to talk shit about her siblings and husband behind their backs and pretty much everyone else as well
>I'm w/e but gf is pretty shit for it
>Try to listen and support her
>Keeps complaining about her mom for breaking her family (lives on her own)
>Directs her anger towards me sometimes
>Almost no sex for weeks even though she keeps talking about it herself
>Bring it up, suddenly I'm a shitty boyfriend
>One night tries to leave me in hysterical rage
>Cries for hours,
>Complains about everything that's wrong with me
>Finally settles down a bit, towards her rage back to her mother
>Call her out on her shit afterwards, barely get an apology
>Somehow, sex for a few days
I know most of the details behind the divorce, but won't share 'em all. Let's just say that during this whole incident I've learned a couple of things
>1. How much she starts to resemble her mother sometimes
>2. Women have no idea what they have until they lose it and sometimes not even then
>3. How much of a overgrown children women are
>4. How whimpy men get torn by women for no reason
>5. How much you need to stand for yourself because relationships with women are a huge power game.
Honestly, I didn't think much of women before, but this shit is why I can call myself a misogynist.
i think you're in wrong neighborhood pal
/soc/ is that way
Yea, if this is the first stressful situation she's been in her life, she will definitely not handle it well. I am proud of you for calling her out. Shitty behavior should always be challenged
>>26376593
I'm a programmer lonewolf, who watches anime, plays video games, is overweight and introverted.
/soc/ a shit.
Has /r9k/ ever attempted to ever make a Visual Novel?
If not, we should try.
how do we try
>>26376508
If Robots had the willpower needed to make a VN they would rather use it to fix up their shit lives.
Making a visual novel? That sounds like something that would require creative skills of some sort, which I lack.
Alright guys, there's an asshole at my school, and he's literally the worst human being I've met.
>extremely controlling over my fembot friend
>harassing for nudes
>threatens to an hero over her
>literally just today tried to choke her out
>she bit his hand and tried to get away
>she came back and bit her full force on the neck
>she got the police involved as well, but nothing else so far
There's so much more, and it only gets more fucked. Will probably continue if I'm not already dead.
>i'd like to say a month back
>talking with fembot friend
>asshole is gone, I guess we'll call him Jake
>Jake is in the lunch line
>fembot friend tells me that he has a crush on a dude
>other dude is literally an alchoholic
>not even of age yet
>blackmailacheived.jpg
>Jake comes back
>act like nothing is wrong
This comes into play later.
>later that night
>get message
>fembot
>he has a picture of Jake in a crop-top, panties, cat ears, and a collar
>laugh my fucking ass off
>in my laughter, i forgot to save
I still regret it.
Very interested. Keep posting, OP.
>>26376628
keep posting faggot
kll;kl;hg
So guys its time for HOW MANLET ARE YOU?
BTFO if you're 5'11+
To qualify
>height
>weight
>race (asian average is lower etc.)
I'll start
>5'8
>60kg
>British
>>26376329
>5'8
>150 lbs
>Canacuck
>>26376329
>5'4"
>51kg
>white spic
Do I win?
>>26376329
>5'3
>91lbs
>White
Even the Cage went for that Asian spice, why haven't you?
ohh but i have. top tier traditional Laotian dancer
dem fingers doooeeee moves em like a goddess
>>26376299
Cage is old and ugly, he wanted a young chick, so he got a B grade woman (asian).
asians are scum
![ruler-measure-size[1].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/Dh8F2TI.jpg "ruler-measure-size[1]")
