Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 3076. page
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Fellow manlets, twitter is making fun of us, again.
I think its time to end it.
>>28476880
but god forbid you make fun of fat women
>>28477063
Fuck off with the false equivalencies roastie. Weight can be changed, height can't be
Who /depersonalization/ here?
Fuck guise i feel nothing literally, my mind is totally blank. Everything looks fucking weird
>>28476867
You have become enlightened my boy
>>28476945
What do you mean? Is there any way to make it last longer?
>>28476867
I spend my days desensitizing myself to a lot of things to the point it's hard to feel for certain things. It's a healthy point of view from a realist.
> Decide to leave my shell and grow some balls.
> Look up dating advice and learn how to get confidence.
> Ask out co-worker who I've known for years.
> Try to apply /r/seduction kino, by touching her shoulder while complimenting her appearance
> Lose my job, all my friends, accused of being a creep.
> Had to talk to the police.
> Not sure yet if I'm going to be on a list as a sex offender.
Silly anon, you have to be attractive to flirt, otherwise you are a sex offender.
>>28476866
Fuuuck, OP. Losing your job over shoulder touching, what the fuck?
>>28476866
At least you aint a virgin anymore, ri-- oh wait.
>watch a walkthrough video on youtube
>the description is written by the youtuber's father
>the kid died from cancer
>>28476850
That's fucking sad man...
Link?
>theres a 40% chance you'll get cancer in your lifetime
>>28476859
https://www.youtube.com/user/SaikyoMog/videos
/r9k/ is an imageboard where there are no exact reposts.
1. If you attempt to post something unoriginal, it is not posted, and you are muted temporarily.
2. The time with which you are muted for doubles with each transgression.
3. Each mute time is 2^n in seconds where n is the number of times you have transgressed. So, your mute time doubles each time you fuck up.
4. Backlinks, eg >>1 (Dead)#, are not viewed by the robot. So "lolwut" and ">>2 (Dead)# lolwut" are the same post, in the eyes of the robot.
5. Gibberish at the end of a post to force originality may result in mod intervention (no BLOX posts please).
6. Images are NOT included in the filter, only text.
7. Your mute count slowly decreases over time.
8. You cannot post a picture without text.
9. Unicode is blocked. Sorry, too many exploits (Cyrillic letters, etc).
10. Posts require a certain minimum amount of original content in order to be posted.
11. Post sane, real content, well thought out replies, and mutes are unlikely.
12. The original algorithm was designed by XKCD:
http://blag.xkcd.com/2008/01/14/robot9000-and-xkcd-signal-attacking-noise-in-chat/
Why did you just copy-pasted the sticky and posted it again?
>>28476898
you know what's weird, it says no exact reposts but I just copied the sticky and it worked
>no exact reposts
>reposts the exact text
hmmm
/r9k/ is an imageboard where there are no exact reposts.
1. If you attempt to post something unoriginal, it is not posted, and you are muted temporarily.
2. The time with which you are muted for doubles with each transgression.
3. Each mute time is 2^n in seconds where n is the number of times you have transgressed. So, your mute time doubles each time you fuck up.
4. Backlinks, eg >>1 (Dead)#, are not viewed by the robot. So "lolwut" and ">>2 (Dead)# lolwut" are the same post, in the eyes of the robot.
5. Gibberish at the end of a post to force originality may result in mod intervention (no BLOX posts please).
6. Images are NOT included in the filter, only text.
7. Your mute count slowly decreases over time.
8. You cannot post a picture without text.
9. Unicode is blocked. Sorry, too many exploits (Cyrillic letters, etc).
10. Posts require a certain minimum amount of original content in order to be posted.
11. Post sane, real content, well thought out replies, and mutes are unlikely.
What makes you depressed?
My life makes me depressed.
>21
>kissless, handholdless, virgin
>never had any kind of close relationship with anybody
>friendless shut-in since highschool
>manlet
>involuntarily been to the psych ward
>mental illness they can't diagnose
>I do a little something worse every day just to convince myself to commit suicide a little more
Not being able to relate to most people. Also my own failures.
Actually other people's sad stories aswell, I've cried a few times while reading stuff on r9k.
I'm sorry you have to live like that, OPie, nobody should. And while it doesn't improve your life directly - I really hope you can find a way to improve your situation and be happy. You can do it, brobot. I belive in you.
Uh, clinical depression?
>>28476751
>what makes you depressed XDDD :((
The word you're looking for is sad.
SAD
A
D
Ask a person receiving $1314 a month in free NEETbux with no taxes and free health care anything.
I also went to law school and teach the LSAT for bonus monies a few hours a week.
If you regularly use r9k, you probably qualify. I just want to help you out. My life dramatically improved when I got some more cash.
Also people here are cynics, I'm not soliciting, it's not even worth it. The most I could make would be under 2 grand for a year of work with a 30% chance of a win. I just want you to be able to afford your rainbow stockings so you can finally find love as a pet trap.
>>28476726
Run us threw the process in which you get neetbux?
>>28476726
ive quit two jobs due to depression and insomnia , but when unemployed im fine .what do ?
>>28476755
If you want to actually win.
Route 1
> Look up on the SSDI website if you have a qualifying condition. Choose MDD, or BPI.
> If you are on r9k you most likely have one of them.
> Go see a lawyer in your town advertising for disability law.
> Ask if he will represent you for the standard 25% pay rate. If he says yes, you already have a 60-70% chance of winning.
> Tell him in detail why you can't work. Something like not being able to bathe or sleep or self-injury. He will know if you have a good shot or not. Tell him everything. Even shit like not being able to interact with people without being a jerk helps. Repeatedly getting fired helps. They actually like that because it proves you're trying.
> Go go to a county assistance office and get qualified for medicaid because you are poor.
> Get a diagnosis from a real psychiatrist and get a prescription to various medications
> Don't actually take the medications unless you want to. Getting benzos is probably the best medication you can get prescribed because SSA thinks it impairs your ability to think and is proof you are seriously anxious.
> Eventually you will get letters from SSA asking you (and relatives optional) saying why you can't work. This is very important.
> Then you will get an appointment with a government doctor who will verify what your doctor and you have said.
> Then there is administrative review where they finally decide yes or no.
> Then depending on much of a NEET you have been you get either SSI (bad) or SSDI (good).
> Then you get all your NEETbux in back pay, I got around $6k and they give you a special bank account where they deposit your money every month.
If you get denied, it depends on your state. Eventually you see a judge and tell him what's wrong and he either says yes or no.
Normies are strawmen /r9k/ create to support their lethargic self pity
>>28476723
I really like that triumph motorcycle tbqh.
>>28476796
it's a decent motorcycle in real life but it looks goat as fuck
I want to cuddle with Chris Pratt after a long night of love making.
Hey, folks.
I need your take on this, since I can't decide for myself.
Am I balding?
Thanks.
>>28476628
HAHAHAHA KILL YOURSELF FAGGOT YOU PRIVILEGED WHITE FAGGOT TYRONE IS 1000% THE MAN YOU WILL EVER HOPE TO BE
>>28476628
that's a pretty big forehead Dieter but no
Yes, you're also gay.
TROLLED
Is it normal to be sexually attracted to well endowed 12-15 year old girls? I live right near a middle school and I see super hot 12 year olds wearing barely anything with huge boobs. How is it fair?
It is normal, anyone who disagrees is lying to themselves.
>>28476621
imo females are repulsive until the day of their 18th birthday
>>28476621
>well endowed
if you mean
>childbearing hips
>childfeeding breasts
yes, since they normally indicate the age of over 15
Any robots in a "good college"?
P.S. Does it really matter where you go to college? What's the difference between going to a state school and a top 20 USNWR university?
>>28476535
>Any robots in a "good college"?
The Ohio State University is one of the greatest redpilled Universities you'll ever encounter in the United States.
>>28476535
It's all about networking. A friend of mine just got a really great job working for the DoJ because of his wife. He's a high school drop out with a GED and a half finished philosophy major.
Stanford University here.
Also where you go doesn't fucking matter imo. most people care about experience desu
state schools aren't always bad
i came here because of my parents desu if i had a choice i would've picked a smaller school in the middle of no where
Does anyone else think they would do better in a post apocalyptic world?
I feel that humans were meant live in tribes rather than massive nations.
I have plently of experience with firearms as my dad is quite the "gun nut" and have some experience in blacksmithing and general weapons making.
I would prefer living in a kill or be killed environment with direct purpose than the world we live in now.
>>28476527
Direct purpose would be nice but the general chaos would not. Generally if you're on this board you're not exactly socially adept, and interpersonal skills will be extremely important. Small groups will excel, not solitary individuals.
Additionally, the lack of entertainment, and especially quality medical care will be a huge downside. Life expectancy will drop. Food variety will greatly diminish, and many will need to pick up agriculture (unless we're talking practically zero population remaining).
But yes, I do think having practical, immediate purpose would be clarifying and remove all angst from my life.
>>28476527
>I feel that humans were meant live in tribes rather than massive nations
Yeah, most likely. I think it doesn't matter though, mentally speaking. We're part of tons of "tribes". If you think the whole chad thing sucks now, imagine actually being in an actually small tribe. There's tons of different social hierarchies and structures operating in society, I recall reading somewhere that your mind sort of naturally invests in whichever you have the highest social status in. Not sure how true that is.
I don't think an apocalypse would be good at all. I think peace is pretty great, and anyone who thinks otherwise probably hasn't experienced the opposite.
>>28476582
My thought is that if I make stuff and can fix guns someone will keep me around and feed me.
I could go without electronics and television. I do plenty of reading and spent more time in a work shop than playing video games in high school.
There just isn't real value to the life we live.
>have Chad friend
>knows about my robotness, especially with girls
>manages to get two girls to have groupsex with him and me
>actually get to his house with the two girls
>we all start fucking
>can hear and see Chad fucking the girl into oblivion and she's screaming of pleasure
>I fail horribly due to it being my first time
>girl constantly has an annoyed face and does nothing
>at some point she just gets up and goes to the other bed
>Chad fucks the shit out of both
>I sit silently in the corner and jerk off while trying to hold back the tears
>he cums on both their faces
>after he came on them, the girl I tried to fuck comes to me and shows me the cum in her mouth and looks at me like she despises me
I'm ready to kill myself now
That's what you get for having a group sex type scenario like this for your first time. Dumbass.
>>28476484
Hey at least chad tried
not his fault you were pair'd up with a dumb roastie cunt
That's what you get for being a filthy degenerate.
>22yrs old
>no social life save for one friend I've had for 15yrs
>aside from him, therapy 2-3x a week is my only human contact
>other friend is my dog
>trying to get a job but it's going well
>tfw best friend is leaving at the end of the month until fall
>tfw dog just got diagnosed with cancer
>tfw both of my friends will be gone before the month is out
>tfw when my friend normally leaves I still have my dog
>tfw when my pets have died I've had my friend be there for me
>tfw it will just be me
>tfw best friend is the closest thing I've had to an actual boyfriend
this shit sucks so much, when I feel down I either have my dog to cheer me up, or my best friend to make me feel better. My dog is always happy, so that just kinda rubs off. My best friend will give me a shoulder to lean on, or we'll get dinner and a movie, or go /out/ together, plus his hugs are super comforting and I always feel safe and happy with him. How the fuck am I going to deal with losing both of them one after the other? I don't have any other friends, I'm probably not gonna get a job soon, therapy is only 3-4 hours a week, and I just got over the brunt of depression. I don't want to slip back but this is just a lot to handle at once.
Plus I have BPD, so rejection/abandonment hurts a fuckload more than what normal people feel, and I also have difficulty with relationships in general. I don't have friends because I'm legit psychotic/neurotic and the one guy who can tolerate it is leaving me, or not me specifically but he's going away for a few months and it feels like someone is twisting a knife in my chest just thinking about it. My dog doesn't understand human behaviour anyway, she's always going to be my friend but that doesn't matter if she dies.
What do I do? The ideas I have aren't good, last time I didn't want to leave my friend I drove my car into his shed so I'd have an excuse to spend time with him. He said he'd fix it himself tho, so I still had to go visit my family. My ideas suck
>>28476440
Piss off, roastie
Oregano
>>28476578
>Oregano
u wot
>>28476440
do you like your best friend romantically? sounds like you do.
>9,000 page meme analysis paper due in 612 ions.
What the heck. I'll probably do a drug or two to cope with this.
>>28476397
>800 paragraph paper due in 23 kilometers
Fuck off back to s4s you shitty attention whoring faggot
>700 acrylic drawings due in 14 isotopes
