Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 3084. page
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How do you guys catch your cum? I have pretty big cumshots which shoot all over the place, and i cannot ever catch it all with tissues, so i just end up cleaning the floor after every fap, which is really fucking tedious and makes me not want to beat my meat anymore. I have just resorted to using my phone for porn and leaning over the bathtub and washing it away after fapping but a standing fap is not nearly as comfy as a sitting fap.
What do?
Just hold tissue or toilet paper or fapsock in front of penis before you ejaculate.
Oh my fucking god you are worthless and stupid.
i catch it with my mouth
I jerk off in my boxer shorts
I like the feeling of my wet cum diaper at night.
Advice thread, reee get off my board edition
Hi /r9k/, resident normie here. If anyone wants some advice, some normie perspective, or just wants to chat, come post here. No question is too stupid here, no topic off limits. Tell us what's on your mind, anons.
inside im an alpha. but outside im a beta.
my body wants me to act as a dominent figure (alpha), but the anxiety stops me. i used to act like dominent, but now im just hiding. everytime im in a crowded area or if i walk past someone on the street, i try to get the persons attention as far away from me as possible.
>>28473257
I'm not sure how to help you, anon. My problems was that I never knew how to talk to people, but I never had anxiety, so I don't know how to deal with it.
Hey OP, how do I approach a girl who has a longtime bf? Obviously my motives are impure
who /healthy/ here?
>Just took a long jog to the store, bought a lettuce, ate it, and jogged back home
>>28472364
I wan't to be healthy but Estrella is realising new summer chips flavours
>>28472364
A long jog could be any distance.
buying lettuce and eating it is not redemption for being healthy.
>>28472364
How can you eat a whole lettuce in one go?
Why is nearly everyone on /r9k/ so incredibly racist?
I'm asking as someone who is also racist, so don't take that question the wrong way.
if people are going to hate me for who I am, then I'm going to do the same :^)
>>28472363
if i didn't have to be around people that fit any stereotype it would be a moot point
Black people are pretty annoying and look bad
Who here /Bigdick/? Ever have to go easy because you will literally split girls apart?
>>28472360
Yeah, my gf was shocked by my dick, which is nice, but she's always so careful with everything she does during sex, so that's kinda annoying.
>>28472360
7x6 here, I get a weird sense of pleasure knowing my dick hurts girls.
>>28472392
Yeah exact same with me man. I'm about 8 inches long and 6 wide, and on some days i really gotta go easy, but other days i can put it all in from behind type thing. You would think wetness is the only variable, but I make her finish from head everytime first?
Who here wants friends to play vidya with?
Post game you want to play and ign or ID
>league
>GlitchTitz
>csgo
>waffles (with maozedong pic)
I'm not real good in any of these games. I don't mind if your trash or good. Have other games I'm willing to play too. Ask me for more, or post ur own favs
Please play super smash bros Wii U
Username is : HamletDuFromage
>>28472299
hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm6.25% content my ass, fuck you roboto
smite on ps4
paragon
anything
anyone...hello?
What do you do to deal with your paranoid thoughts?
I look outside.
Is it raining? Yes? Then I'm just having a shit day.
No? Do I have reasons to worry about? Then I'm just dwelling on shit.
Failing that, I go and do some sort of overreaction to whatever's bugging me.
I embrace them as they are usually true
>>28472265
i dont, i literally think everything in the outside world is trying to harm me. anytime someone is kind i instantly think its fake
im so unhappy
yours truly, 26 year old basement neet
Femanon here. I don't understand why you all are so desperate to get a girlfriend. There's a girl out there for everyone, just be yourself and put your true personality out there.
>>28472182
Yo, nice bait. You got an anime image and the "be yourself" meme and everything. But it's pretty subtle so you'll get lots of replies before this thread dies. Tell me though, on the off chance that this thread is genuine, what did you hope to accomplish with it? I'm curious, because with even a little experience with this board you should know already that robots will either give a multitude of excuses ranging from their own failings to those of the female gender, or will just call you a whore and tell you to fuck off.
You are not welcome here.
After 25 years of virginity I lost it to an Asian milf. She kept me up all night. Plus she didn't have a roastie but a based innie.
>tfw no kino bf
I want to have rough romanian secks with her
>tfw was in kino with a qt bf
Who would want a faggot that blogs every intimate moment on a depressing part of a futuristic filipino shitrading forum?
Who /shittyposture/ here?
>>28472099
cute!!! :3 do you do cummies on that tummy? :3
>>28472099
I want to kiss your tummy :33
>>28472099
I suspect I /shittyposture/ but I don't really understand what /shittyposture/ is.
Care to exemplify?
ITT: Sex regrets
>be me
>be betafag pseudo-virgin
>2011, college freshman
>Get super good grades in my English class
>After a few weeks an 8/10 with a bitch personality from my class finds me
>Offers to suck my dick if I write her papers for her for the rest of the semester
>Say no because I'm so much of a beta and a moralfag
I shouldve done it
>>28472096
no you shouldnt, dont be so fucking desperate
>>28472096
How would that have been worth it? Is a blowjob really worth putting hours into writing papers, and for some slag as well?
>>28472096
>Oh sorry, anon, I only meant it figuratively
do you owe your parents the attempt of at least trying to make it in life ?
ayyy bump
Nope, they ripped me from non-existence and forced me into this meat.
i was the test child for them, they devoted care to other later siblings
I have been eating 1000 calories a day and working out for 2 fucking years and I still have this body. WHAT THE FUCK
IM ENDING IT
>>28472049
KIeinfelters?
literally impossible after two years if you're even doing things half right
You gotta eat more.
About this pic?
I cringed desu
kinda want to spam that redditor with bbc porn now
I look at myself daily.
>'cause you're fucking awesome.
kinda want to stab him
>Willy wars time!!!!
>Rub your willy and make a big willymilk mess!!! loser's bum gets used like a fanny :)))!!
>I played with dave and his 'girlfriend' the other day!!
>I always thought girls were meant to have fannies but she had a big fat willy!!! nearly as big as my one lol!!! I think dave was embarassed about her willy being so much bigger than his :(( ;)
>she didn't have a fanny but her bum was nicer than one any way :))))) she kept calling it her 'boiphanni' lol like she was an american or something XD lol they call bums fannies!!!
>around here bums may as well be fannies though hahahah!!!!! :)))) :P
stop this anon
>>28471999
I will never stop playing willy wars !!! :)
m-more
original
