Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 3831. page
- Home
- Board: /r9k/ - ROBOT9001
- Reading: Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 3831. page
Are dakimakuras worth buying?
Is sure fun to cuddle with my Tomoko
>>27980155
I too have a Tomoko.
>>27980185
Tomoko is mine, youre a cuck
Manlet = Ultimate Redpill
>>27979839
How long are you OP?
>>27979909
6 feet :(
kpokvpodskvdekvdek
>>27979839
Here's your (You) OP, also an hero
Okay robots, so let's say you have this childhood friend. He's your closest bro, you've known him for years. He's not tall, a little skinny and not particularly manly, but a bro through and through. You hang out, play the vidya, even brofist with each other any chance you get. As long as you've known him though, you've never been over to his place. He lives on his own now, so you finally convince him to have you over for some gaming since your girlfriend invited a friends of her to have some kinda girls only gathering. You get there, it's a nice little apartment, decent furniture, all the major video game systems, real comfy. As soon as you enter, he tells you you're welcome anywhere, just don't look in his closet because it's messy. That seems simple enough, but why even mention it? You wouldn't even have thought about it if he hadn't said anything. So you play some games, and eventually he excuses himself to the restroom. Curiosity bests you, and you make for his closet. As you open it, you find that your best bro's closet is full to brimming with women's clothes. Dresses, skirts, blouses, gown, some of the frilliest and girliest clothes you've ever seen. But it doesn't stop there; pantyhose and nylons, wigs and makeup, even lingerie and high heels as well as some risque outfits. With dumbfounded astonishment, you grab a piece to examine it, when in walks your bro and sees you holding one of his lacy secrets. He is down on his knees now, driven to the point of almost bursting into tears.
So what do you do? Initial thoughts, first reactions? How would you handle such a situation?
I would laugh and say "You should have told me you had a girlfriend! I understand why you haven't introduced us yet, don't want me to steal her, right?" Then we laugh and continue to live with the comfortable lie.
>>27979809
support your bro, it's the least you could do. Maybe buy him a cute outfit.
>>27979888
trips never lie
either that or >>27980092
and fuck him mercilessly just the way he fucking likes it
>mom's weekly call
>"Anon, do you remember Stacy from Facebook?"
>"Umm, yeah, I worked with her. She made me add her."
>"Why didn't you tell me she was your girlfriend?"
>*Sigh* "You know I've never had a girlfriend, mom" (This co-worker only communicated with me for Scrabble games and Farmville spam, I have no idea where this came from.)
>"Your cousin (a fat female shut-in who was the only female I remotely trusted) says she was in love with you!"
>"No, mom"
>"YOU NEVER TELL ME ANYTHING!!!!"
>"Ok, mom"
>click
It's my fault for using Normiebook years ago, which I deleted 2 years ago. That cannot be forgiven.
I'm 34, and my family still fucking does this shit. Not only are they delusional enough to think that a woman would find me desirable, they seriously believe I'm hiding a successful relationship behind everyone's back. I'm a manchild that walks to work, lives in a shitty apartment, plays vidya and shitposts all day, and just wants to be left alone.
Can women just stop existing?
>34 years old
>browsing 4chan
I hope to god I don't become you
>>27979795
>being a piece of shit to your mom
My mother beat the shit out of me physically and emotionally all throughout my childhood. As much as I resent her, she's still my mother and I love her. Just talk to her once in a while, maybe a call once a week or something, she's your mother, she loves you, she just wants to have a relationship with you. Cunt.
>>27979889
he literally JUST said he was on the weekly call with his mom
he LITERALLY talks to his mom every week
you're a dumb beta faggot if you let anyone abuse you and continue to be a negative presence in your life, family or not.
This thread is for robots to ask me whatever they want, and I will do my best to answer honestly. Please no bully and keep it non lewd.
>>27979695
Will u b my gf?
>>27979695
why are girls irrational when it comes to relationships ?
>>27979695
Are you flat? Cowtits need to die.
>wake up, nest is still littered with pissrocks
>roar to myself that I'll clean them up later, tentatively move away from my copse of trees to begin foraging
>eat alot of leaves, see qt Triceratops in the distance grazing with her herd
>Small Albertadromeus (only 5 ft long tfw dinosaurlet) so she's way out of my league, but still admire her from afar where her herd can't see me
>Suddenly out of the trees behind her see alpha chadasaurus rex burst through and charge the herd
>forced to watch as he presses his jaw against her neck and slips his 11 foot long dino cock into her tight dinopussy
>he rapes her, mauls her, and then drags her body past the treeline to feed
>go to Rock9k (small tree where fellow beta dinosaurs roar our feels at eachother)
>Moderator Gorgosaur deletes my roar and threatens to eat me if I keep scratching shitroars onto the tree
>weakly groan that it's the cretaceous period and that I'll post whatever I want
>same Chadasaur from before bursts out of the treeline and eats me
>currently roaring this while being crushed by his jaws
>tfw egg stealing dinos don't even attack me because I never found a mate
>tfw being eaten hurts
Foragers are the most beta things in existence
>>27979747
I can't help it. I'm biologically forced to eat leaves and small bits of plant matter.
Carnivores aren't welcome here, this is a tree and surrounding field for outcast dinos. Go and party with Chad Thunderlizard and Tyronasaurus if you want to eat meat
who else /velociraptor/?
>tfw portraited in movies as a dangerous killing machine but actually be feathered dinosaurlet
fembot here
good looking but shy and still dreaming of charming prince
there's acutally many boys who asked me out but i'm not prepared and always refused
who same?
every reply below this line needs to be banned
____________________
>>27979559
Me too.
I'm dreaming of a sweet and traditional life. Growing a lot of our food, making my children's clothes, cutting coupons and saving for a family vacation, being active in my small hardworking, conservative community, having a big comfy cottage in the countryside and keeping it spotless.
>>27979617
that house looks so comfy. i'd love a place surrounded by nature and lots of plants
Just bought my nitrogen tank, lads.
It arrives friday.
It's finally gonna be over.
>>27979546
Livestream it or shut the fuck up you cancerous fag
>>27979561
nah bro im sweet
>>27979546
Oh cool you gonna build a racecar :)
i have no friends. it's 10PM. where do i go? what do i do?
i really don't want to spend yet another shitposting on r9k.
Play some vidya, learn about a subject you are interested in. There are plenty of things I enjoy that don't require friends, you should try it.
shitpost reddit insteadvariety is the spice of life
http://slither.io/
play this for a little while.
First game in years that actually made me smile.
Arkanine, it's been a while since we've spoken last. I have returned to ask you some questions.
What could you offer the world and the opposite sex? What is something that you do unlike anyone else? What do you create? What is your purpose for existing?
I'm honestly curious.
Kind regards, An old friend.
P.S Pic unrelated
>>27979469
i havve no friends
>>27979469
I'm meant to leave, but I like this side of you.
I'm an information artist. I can make complex systems (that i understand) more readily comprehensible to outsiders. I am still learning all the skills I need to do this properly. I also need to build a network of like-minded friends to see my vision come to life. My ignorance is an important tool to me.
Once I have enough of the necessary information, I'm also good at working out new solutions to old problems. I like puzzles with an element of human interest to them. My autonomy also helps me ensure my even-handedness.
Autonomy is very important to me. Not only my own, but others' autonomy as well. Without outside autonomy I am very lonely. I understand this often causes problems, but I think it's worth it. I also believe many of them can be reconciled when we attempt to be fair.
I am trying to help humanity reach the stars in a way that won't perpetuate our old karmic cycles. I am trying to help retain the Earth's splendor. I will never be a great developer, but that doesn't mean I'm not a systematic thinker.
>>27979469
>>27982101
Omg da old gods r talkin bout fat3 oh da hooman trace on mah venetian meme generator
Damn I wouldn't want this on my worst enemy.
http://www.henrymakow.com/my_chinese_wife_set_a_trap.html
Btw r/Hapas is fascinating. AMasc is a bore.
https://m.reddit.com/r/Divorce/comments/3botgj/need_help_my_wife_abuses_me_and_i_want_a_divorce/
This is why I tell you guys to date the Americanized ones but you guys keep calling them trash.
http://bangkok.coconuts.co/2016/04/18/sexual-songkran-drunk-american-arrested-performing-oral-sex-bar-girl-public
Lmao
https://m.reddit.com/r/hapas/comments/4f6amg/former_porn_stars_keni_stylez_and_presley_hart/
ITT: characters robots will NEVER understand
>pic related went through development and self betterment throughout his series, something robots REFUSE to do
Also received super near limitless internal energy resources at near birth.
>>27979668
>waaaahhh I'm a robot because I'm not gifted waahhhh
Fuck off.
>>27979378
Use Rock Lee next time, Naruto got handed too many bullshit powers towards the end of the series for this to be applicable anymore.
Jesus Christ, Anons. My fetish on being shrunken in possession of a giant woman is becoming unhealthy.
Everytime I walk by my crush, I just want her to shrink me down and own me, keep me in her bra or panties as I play with breasts or vagina. Is there anything I can do to stop this unhealthy sexual desires?
>>27979137
text her and ask her what she would do if she found you 1 inch tall in her bedroom, 'feel free to be dark or detailed its just a fantasy :P'
Post results
>>27979137
>your giant gf will never playfully threaten to eat youand then you hear her stomach rumble...
>>27979213
definitely don't do this
Hey bots, my bday is tmmrw and a friend of mine said they would get me something, what's something that's comfy and cheap (around 30$)
Fuck off tomorrow is my birthday
>>27979092
Did everyone ask you if you smoked 24/7 Bc you were born on 4/20? And I hope you have a good day today and tomorrow
>>27979060
http://www.amazon.com/Enjoy-Daughter-Double-Onahole-Tenga/dp/B01DML9T14/ref=sr_1_4?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1461089600&sr=8-4&keywords=onahole
get some
Hello robots. I usually don't go here but today it's different coz it's my birthday and I don't expect anything interesting from /b/. So tell me robots, why should I keep on living?
go back to /b/. we don't want you
Follow the example of your image.
>>27979127
Thanks dude, this really helped
