Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 703. page
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>"Alright everyone g2g!"
>Wait for at least one person to say Bye before leaving
>no one says bye
>they notice youre still there
>"anon what are you still doing here?"
>>29713168
whatever happened to this banner? It used to be a 4chan banner. It would be perfect for /r9k/
>>29713320
>"j-just went to the bathroom and forgot to close it.."
Does death frighten you roach?
The process of dying does.
I reveal death.
Not honestly, but every faggot says they're not scared of death until they are faced with death.
tell my suicidal tendencies
The state of being death sounds just fine to me. It's just nothing, like you feel when you're asleep. What frightens me is the transition, or the loss of life. It's all we've ever known, and for it to drain away sounds terrifying.
My biggest fear, or I guess it's a phobia, is aerophobia or a fear of flying in airplanes.
I have to take a flight on tuesday, and I already know I'm gonna freak out and panic for four hours straight. And all I have to sedate me is some benadryl.
>those days where your dick is insatiable and you can't stop fapping
What's your record, /r9k/?
>>29713161
8 or 9, but you end up shooting blanks and it hurts so not really worth it in the end imo
>>29713254
>blow a load every time
>prostate starts to hurt
My record is 8.
How do you get on depression meds if you don't have any money? My job gives me $150-$200 at most a month. All I want is for this empty feeling where I think I should go die to stop, and I fucked up talking to a therapist by lying so I wouldn't get sent to a loon house saying I think about killing myself. I want to be an alcoholic or pothead so I don't have to think about it.
Do you watch bakemonogatari?
>>29713072
your insurance should cover it. just dont say you're going to do anything illegal and you'll be fine.
>>29713072
Weed stops working after a while. And then you just can't eat or sleep for a while after you give up an quit.
So I just found out my best friend is attracted to a 17.9 year old and is thinking about asking her out.
I've known him since preschool but I don't think I can put up with this kind of predatory behavior. I just want him to get some help to fix this mental illness.
How do I go about reporting him to the police anonymously so he doesn't know it's me?
Picture unrelated
that ice cream gets me harder than the girl
goddamn that looks good
>>29713063
That image, man.
>>29713063
Im usually not attracted to children but that photo legit gave me a hard on
>people are nothing more than a profit to me
>spend months at a time strategically planting weapons into terrorists hands, and playing mind games
>get bored of Benghazi after a while and move on to leaking classified information but that's okay because there's literally billions of you dirty little emails to fuck around with
>some minorities actually believe I care about them as people but in truth I only use them for my personal advantage and entertainment
should've posted this on /pol/, op.
>>29712958
This is pretty accurate. 10/10. Could only make it better if you mentioned where in the emails she is trying to frame Clarence Thomas for rape by planning to pay his old ex gfs to claim rape.
>>29713490
never heard of that one
oranginal
Hello /robot9001/ I am going to ask this shit here because I feel a lot of us may have a similar situation, anyway.
>As a young kid was very quick learner and very curious
>Right through to about year 8 or so I would do no homework or study and still be top of the class
>Some fucked shit happens in my life and I lose sight of all education related shit
>Knowledge retention and my perceptive ability drops faster than the twin towers
>Have gotten past all that shit after many years but now I can't hold thoughts well etc
So what the fuck do I do? I feel like its not so much I have became stupider but rather I have lost the ability to organize the information in my head correctly (everything is all over the place) how do I fix up my cognitive functions so I can start gaining knowledge again and learn some more things? Any robots here dealt with overcoming this sort of mental disarray?
Try Modafinil. It's like Adderall but not as bad for you.
>>29712924
Sounds like you were just always a dumbass and you never really came around to realizing it until later in life, happens to most.
>>29712924
Bump for interest. I hope some anon can provide a non-medication solution
If it's okay with you guys, I'd like to start one of these personal chart threads. I'll post the template I used.
Here's the template, if you need it.
>>29712889
>File size to large
what do I do?
>>29712943
I recall there being a resize function in paint (and photoshop as well. I assume the photoshop version allows you to tweak more.). Bring it down until the file size is permissible.
This is a testament to KEK's. I sent a paper into the fire asking KEK if I would be blessed with dubs; the marking for "Yes" appeared to have burned first.
This is my first post following the ritual; let us see what KEK can do
>>29712863
Curses. Have I failed thee, KEK?
>>29712875
ps dubs Kek
anon, you have not praised him correctly. watch as I praise lord KEK and am granted with instant dubs.
I love big tits and hope that one day I get the chance to get to play with some but I've never thought what it feels like to have big tits so I come to ask thefembotswith big tits what it feels like. Is it true about the back problems? Do they attract too much attention? Do they get in the way?
I find it so weird that her aerolas are bigger than her face, yet her nip is so small.
>>29712910
Crazy huh. I love those kind of nips.
Overly developed natural baby feeders are my fetish.
I'm going to see Lexi at a strip bar, & I'm gonna try to touch her. Would that be a bad idea?
>>29712658
You get kicked out immediately and the guards get butthurt then try to fight you if you touch one of the strippers, horrible idea
>>29712694
What? It's ok to touch strippers, according the movies
>>29712737
Life isn't a movie, IRL guards stop that instantly because they don't want people to grope the girls. Even if you pay for a lap dance there's still a guard there making sure you aren't feeling them up
After making a fake chad profile to convince my roommate that his success is due to his genes and not his "charisma and gentlemanly upbringing", I only lasted for a day. Shit's too depressing. Some general things I found out: some memes seem to be true, some don't.
1: matches, so many matches. After 1,5 days I'm sitting here with ~70 matches with females craving chad's dick. The usual "swipe everything right"- strategy of "normal" males is really too much, Chad really has the luxury of actively picking out the chicks. And some of them are so desperate, they're actively writing first, something I considered impossible before.
2: sluts? At least not openly so. Even though (or because?) I live in a university city, none of the women responded positively to the direct approach ("let's cut to the chase, you wanna have some fun this evening?"). Hope in sluts restored? meh.
3: The most depressing thing is: "just bee yourself :^)" is a valid advice. IF and ONLY IF you look like a model/Chad. I approached them with my usual manner of speech, I didn't change anything, I was indeed "myself", and guess what? They were eating out of my hands. They clung to every word I said. I even found one girl that broke off all contact on tinder (on my real account) as soon as she saw my current pics: the difference in her responses to the same things said as chad is astounding. "My god, i totally misjudged you! I thought you would be an arrogant, superricial prick who is well aware of hot hot he is and isn't afraid to abuse the fact! But something made me swipe right anyway ;)". So who is the superficial one here, huh?...
Conclusion: give it up bros. Your character may be enough, but your looks aren't.
>>29712644
What about you OP?
What do you look like that makes you so different from Chad?
>>29712706
He's not tall, tan, fit, or aesthetic. One of those.
>>29712706
I'm just an average guy. Little muscle. Hairline starts to recede. Not overweight (used to, lost 30kg prior to uni). But that's the thing: it's not enough. You may be the most charming/witty/funny/caring person on earth: your average looks will kill any chance to get with a girl.
I admit, there are things about me, that equal to playing the dating game in hard mode. I study engineering, which has the stigma of socially inept virgins. And it's not even wrong: I am indeed a khv. And apparently I am too honest for my own good, as I admit it every time when they ask me.
hey r9k, i've been lonely for some time with zero connections, you too? you wouldn't say you're cynical but maybe you are close but you don't mind people and so you don't blame others for your problems; your problems are very internal anyways. you've gotten bored and unmotivated to maintain your old social circles, if there ever was. still very lonely and lonelier than ever with depression keeping you from spending time to distract yourself with things you want to do, so you just sit and watch things happen.
introverted, thoughtful and open minded but impatient and easily irritated maybe, you know how great it is to not make meaningless friendships you know you'll get bored of, but a single person who can understand you on your level who is on your level and is with you to grow and feel happiness with you; a friend, a lover, it doesn't matter. working full-time isn't enough of a distraction and weekends are the worst. you're optimistic and ambitious but you might kill yourself very soon; it is a tough call.
i only lurk and i have been here for a while, there is the prevalent r9k meme group who i hope is just a joke, but i've also talked to the smart, level-headed, quiet but suffering crowd with no where to go with absolutely no one as well.
are you similar? jumbowaterdog is my skype
>>29712635
Dude here
Damn wrote 2 paragraphs bout me. So y postin a skype anyway y know youll get some creeps.
>>29712635
Where are the gondolas?
I was going to rely before I realized that nobody ever replies to my replies.
Goddamn it, I just replied.
Dogs.
>when someone calls cocaine a hard drug
>when someone says suicide is selfish
>>29712620
It is you fucking junkie
It is also the normiest drug out there
>when someone says being a single mommy is tough but their parents do 50% of the raising
Post the most serious issue bothering you in your life right now.
I will but I'll get no replies, or maybe one or two and then the thread will die. So fuck that. I can't handle waiting all night for a (you) again...
I'm overweight
I cant shake my smoking habit
everyone hates me
I can't get good at anything or get anything nice out of life no matter how hard I try.
