Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 5533. page
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>ugly girls with shit personality hit on me
>average girls with shit personality hit on me
>hot girls with shit personality hit on me
>ask ugly girl who likes the same books as I do and has pretty much the same hobbies as me out
>No anon! you're too good looking for me
>ask out an average looking girl who was laughing her ass off at my jokes at a friends party
>mutual friend tells me she tough I was gonna rape her cause I sent her 2 emoticons in a row
>ask out a good looking friend with whom is pretty much my soulmate, to the point we sometimes seem to read each others mind
>lol anon you know I like you but not like that tehehe!!!
What the hell is going on?
I have no trouble getting girls but it seems to be a requisite that we have nothing in common, I thought relationships were about finding people you share interests/hobbies/views with yet Ive had no problem banging cheerleading team sluts or beer bong enthusiasts but good forbid I try to go after the girl that enjoys the same type of obscure literature as me or the one that actually laughs at my jokes.
Start banging the girls that like you and the other ones will come on their own.
>>26267055
Im 25, this has been going on since I was 16...
>>26267039
You're playing the game in reverse.
Stop making friends with women you want to date. Date random women and see if you can find something to like in them. This will also make things more casual, because you're never actually invested in the relationship until you have a reason to be.
Also, the average-looking girl is a freak, since most girls communicate with a series of "emoji" (this is the new term for them) all the time. She must go through life thinking all of her friends are lusting for her girlcock.
Since we all don't get sex from any women... What are some ways you guys self pleasure?
I've been using my vacuum cleaner to suck on my wang with. Shit is intense, it makes me orgasm really quickly if i keep the suction going for a consistent 5 or more seconds , it feels fucking amazing, wish I could last longer though.
I feel like it's kind of dangerous though so I've only ever done it a few times and I make sure to clean the vacuum cleaner house with anti-bacterial wipes before using it.
Any of you guys tried this before? Also, what are those fleshlight things like, worth it?
>>26267036
>and I make sure to clean the vacuum cleaner house with anti-bacterial wipes before using it.
hose*
>Anon would rather choose a vacuum cleaner over you
life is suffering
>>26267054
It's not just any vacuum cleaner, it's a dyson.
Also, you'd probably be busy focusing on chad to even notice me around anyway.
How do I convince my parents to hook me up with some cute desi girl of their choosing?
How do I indicate to them I am a shit human being and I cannot handle social interaction with women and I do not need this new age "free will" or "love" bullshit
i just need them to designate a pussy for me to fuck
can I ask them to arrange marriage me to a cute jap girl is that possible? how did it work for you guys
Aren't arranged marriages only performed by people from India and some other middle eastern places..?
marriages can be arranged by mail order
>>26267000
Unless your parents are friends with Indian (poo, not feather) people, they aren't going to be able to help you.
If you want a similar solution that is much lower in pressure, start hanging out with middle-aged Indian couples. If you make a good enough impression on them, they'll either hook you up with their daughter (who is honor-bound to like you) or put you in a similar relationship with a friend's daughter.
Try taking up tennis. Second-generation Indians love tennis.
Welcome to your Daily Reminder that you will still be the same loser in 2016 as you were in 2015.
Current date: 5th February 2016. It'll be 2017 before you know it.
But feel free to prove me wrong... If you can.
Don't start wallowing how you wished you could go back in time if you're wasting everyday of your life.
Don't say that i haven't been giving you daily reminders how you could do something with your life right now while it's still 2016 instead of 2020 or some shit.
Don't start crying when it's 2020 and you say stupid shit like 'What would you have done different if you could go back to 4 years ago'
We'll lose together then =)
and a (you) for you good sir
>>26266850
I'm gonna prove you wrong
In 2015 I wasn't a loser. I travelled places. I did things. I had people in my life whom I ultimately abamdoned.
No, I'm much bigger of a loser in 2016 than I was last year
To the guy here obsessed wth Alizee, what do you think of the bit from 1:58-2:01?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=240S04eCCC0
Perhaps the best 3 seconds of any song ever.
Post the famous version
>>26266946
famous version?
>>26266746
so, whas the meaning of the song? is she stuck in some sort of mime void?
>tfw you cant marry 2D girls
>implying you haven't already OP
>>26266585
you can if you're in worst korea or nippon
>>26266585
>""""japanese"""" girls
>blond hair, big blue eyes
>brown hair, big green eyes
I want my boyfriend to rub my clit at random times. Just surprise me.
>>26266511
Gays not welcome
Pls leave
>>26266511
this is terrible advice. one does not simply "rub the clit at random times".
I did this once to my girlfriend and she said she felt violated.
>tfw no girl ever want to date you because your hair isn't dark
At least blond bitches tend to be tall
>girls want tall dark men
>men want blonde women
>girls don't want to fuck blond men to make blonde girls
kill me
>>26266241
if it weren't already obvious, the way of the universe is to create nice things and then try as hard as possible to kill them
>chest hair tuff up neck
do I shave it?
No, pretty masculine 2bh
>>26266132
turk
>>26266140
>turk
wut
>school assignment to recursively solve problem
>any language you want
>friend dares me to do it in javascript
>ok
>the last 15 hours I've been screaming and crying about why my code gets thrown into infinite for loops
>realize that javascript has no sense of scope, every variable is global
>have to take a zero on assignment tomorrow
>homework is 50% of the grade in that class
>this means I don't get to graduate this year and have another year of this shit
what's the quickest way to kill yourself
>>26266126
That sucks, man.
Are you sure you can't do anything about it?
>>26266126
1, assignment 50% of your grade, cool story bro
>>26266126
>Not killing off loops
>Not using 'if'
Fuck its been too long since I fucked around with javascript
go ask
>>>/g/
I hate this board and everyone on it. You all make me physically sick and I wish you'd all grow painful brain tumors and die.
>I can't put my pepee in a whore :(
Why would you want to?
>I suffer from clinical sadness :(
Kill yourself.
>I'm gay :)
Kill yourself.
>I suffer from being an autistic cunt and can't speak to people :(
Kill yourself.
>I wish I was dead, I'm soooo suicidal :)
KILL YOURSELF
check out this animal face paint
keep it cool lad
Kek. Angry normies like yourself are what makes this worthwhile. I will continue to be a NEET simply to spite you. Yeah I will kill myself when my parents die. That's not gonna be sooner than 20 years from now.
>sleeping ontop of arm and stop the blood circulation on it
>wake up and try to feel my face
>tfw for a brief moment it feels like your arm is someone else's
>tfw other people make a big deal of something trivial to you and expect you to be so happy and you are but you dont what them to think your standards for happiness are low
>sleep on arm/hand
>wake up
>can't feel hand
>realise i've been crushing it
>panic that i cut off the circulation too long and it will die
>shake hand to try and get feeling back
>finally comes back
>>26265809
>wake up
>feels like someone is touching my face
>look over at my beautiful gf
>I love you babe
>she is about to say she loves me too, but I wake up for real
It was all a dream
>lose an internet argument
>people start ganging up on you
>turn off the computer/phone
>h-hehe, uhh, I'll just pretend that never happened
>tfw even people online hate you
>>26265731
>lose an internet argument
>start samefagging and attacking myself
>pray that don't somehow know it's still me
>>26265731
link me to your post, i'll fuck their shit up for you.
I win every internet argument except the rare ones I get into on YouTube comment sections where I can't samefag or pretend to be whoever I need to be in order to be in the best position to win the debate
>medfag here
>bodybuilder here
>Chad here
>fembot here
>black guy here
And so and so forth
Only my immediate family would notice if I died tomorrow.
I think of suicide everyday or close. Since at least 15. Certainly since 18.
Maybe I should.
If we had balls and knew what was on the other side
>>26265502
That's basically it.
The thoughts interrupt my day.
I'm miserable. I'm lonely. Yet I dislike everyone around me, and I push them away and alienate myself.
Definitely a defective person.
At least I don't feel the physical pains of depression anymore. My body used to cramp up when I get sad and started crying.
>>26265630
Yeah I know exactly what you mean I don't like any of the people around me so I just stay in my room 24/7.
>Tell my friend about my extreme social anxiety
>literally cry every time I try to give a presentation
>have to rush inside if someone sees me outside
>try to call people to create appointments but just hang up immediately because it scares the shit out of me
>keep my head down while walking passed girls so they don't throw up.
>tell him about extreme low self esteem due to girls bullying me in elementary and high school
>trying to get help with my mom (prozac and therapy) hope it helps idk...
The next day he talks about how r9k is just a bunch of sad stories and retards
Somehow jobs come up in conversation and he calls me lazy even knowing my issues that i'm trying to fix
I don't even have some sort of disabillity benefits for it and I don't plan on getting any
He still wants me to watch anime with him??
Should I just stop talking to him?
He gets upset when I'm not on discord but I am much more happy when I'm not on it because he keeps saying these things that bother me.
I think about what he says all day...
Just delete him from your life.
>literally cry every time I try to give a presentation
I'm so glad I am not alone in this
>>26265117
Same here. In grade school, I was """"sick"""" for almost every presentation day. And before grade nine, I almost never participated in gym class.
![War-on-Women-SC[1].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/GLm1Dlo.jpg "War-on-Women-SC[1]")
![sunshine-skyway-bridge[1].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/LPtc0cQ.jpg "sunshine-skyway-bridge[1]")
