Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 2177. page
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Haven't seen many people talking about it on here, and the discussion on /v/ is mostly elitist faggotsnow for the main reason i made this thread, somebody please play one fucking game with me so i can get the party achievement. i have no friends. battletag: Crusto
only bought this game so I could pretend I'm dva playing it wearing panties and a buttplug
I have it but I can't play until I get a new CPU, which could be a while. I can still add you if you want.
i'm waiting for the 2016 macbook pros to come out before getting the game. really hope they release in june
It's 4 AM and I just masturbated for the 5th time in a couple of hours,sweating profusely right now
Horny after doing meth
>>28991059
Thanks for sharing dont have a heart attack OP
>>28991059
>4:55 AM here
>haven't slept
>haven't studied either
>have exam at 8
I-it's gonna be fine, right?
>>28991059
once your on it you'll die from it
why does government assisted suicide not exist?
wouldn't life be better if it didn't exist?
is this not a possible idea for the future? the person applying for death would just have to meet certain requirements such as all debts paid off and paying a fee for death
why cant it be that simple mannnnnn
>You killed my mother!
>She had Alzheimers! She wasn't of sound mind!
Lawsuits.
>>28991013
i think what the government needs to do is give financial handouts to ugly couples because their kids are going to have dogshit lives, need some kind of compensation
it's only fair
>>28991013
>go to cop
>brandish knife
>get shot
>government assisted suicide
*SPPPLLRRRPPPPBPPBPBPBPBBB*
that one sounded a bit wet
nice trips
>>28991000
you are really devoted to this shitposting style
>>28991000
>fat
>hairy calf
After 15 years, you finally get the girl of your dreams to hangout with you. Its nighttime, so yous go outback and lay down together in the grass- staring at the stars. You turn to her and stare her down for 5 minutes flat. She turns to you for 4 seconds and whispers in your ear "im seeing someone right now"...
Whats your next move?
"Don't worry, I can change that"
>>28990993
and the validity of the 'someone'.. any curiosity?... or does it just amount to changing her mind?
>>28990980
turn to her and whisper
"i know, so am i"
alternatively
"find your own way home"
So my mother is dating an illegal immigrant and I want to deport him.
How do I go about this?
>>28990962
deport yourself to mexio
>>28990962
Call INS? Dumbass desu senpai
>>28990991
What's their num?
Any one else anarchist/libertarian/minarchist robot here?
>>28990855
Taxation is theft familia
>>28991322
Technically, since the government uses force, it's actually robbery, not theft.
>>28990855
>muh taxation
>muh freedems
our system is bloated and corrupt, but libertarianism is literally the most corrupt possible system.
>Oh, can't afford your $2000/mo private police protection fee? I guess it would be a shame if something... happened to you! We wouldn't be able to do anything about that at all! Sleep tight, stateless free man! What a free liberated land we live in where no one can force you to pay us!
>An ally has been slain
>>28990849
>kill/death ratio goes under 1
tip top tup top tatp
>>16730127
who knows anymore
>meet girl from reddit (not IRL, online)
>been talking to her on skype and on kik
>think i'm falling in love with her
i never thought this would happen and i obviously cant say anything. but she actually likes how weird i am, she loves how a lot of times i say mean/teasing things to her and occasionally say something sweet. we had a 4 hour overnight skype call earlier this week and a 1.5 hour overnight one last night.
i cannot believe how pathetic i feel right now
>>28990834
>meet girl from reddit
how the fuck do you meet people from reddit? unless you post on local subs or something I don't really see how people do this
>>28990955
this was actually on what amounts to a "dirty talk" subreddit (yeah sad i know)
she messaged me because i made a post saying what i was looking for and she felt that she fit the description. we did some dirty stuff and still do but we transitioned it into what is basically like a friendship, and i've (and apparently she has too) started to think about what it would be like if we were together because we honestly just seem perfect for each other.
but then i just feel like the pathetic permavirgin loser that i am for feeling this way about a girl online
If she doesn't live close to you, get out now. This way lies ruin.I speak from personal experience.
so i've had this female friend for half a year so far and i've asked her out before but she just ignored it and pretended it never happened.
recently we havent been talking as much but today we talked for hours again like we use to last month and shit.
anyways so im just sitting here with my rope next me to thinking of finally doing it and she texted me.
WAT DO
FELLOW ROBOTS
PLEASE HELP
Do i confront her tomorrow about it? she said she only liked me as a friend last month and shit.
you aint gonna fuck this chick if thats what you were hoping for
>>28990872
indeed
i just have no fucking clue what to do about this.
Ask her out straight up. If she ignores you still, then just cut her out of your life. It's not worth deluding yourself with the notion of a "female friend."
>mom tells me to drink more juice
>Drink a liter of applejuice, massive acid reflux and can't stop farting
Fuck the juice
Try having cranberry juice instead. Less sugar, tastes better and is better for your body
Yeah some juices are better too. Minute maid shit is equivalent to soda if that's why your mom wants you to drink more juice. Alot of juices have as much or more sugar than soda and all that 100% juice or whatever bullshit adverts are lies
>>28990827
>*BRAAAAAAAAAAP*
What did OP mean by this?
anon, are you inferior to other people?
and if so, why?
>>28990710
I'm inferior to some people but superior to others
>>28990766
in what ways anon
Are prostate orgasms a meme? Does it really feel that good to be locked up and have to use your butt to cum?
>>28990695
It feels very good. So good that otherwise straight people are willing to risk their reputation as a straight person to stick things in their butt.
That guy in the jar video (you know which one) has a wife and kids, but look what he can't resist doing (he is still doing it after the broken jar incident). And simply put because it feels good.
I've stuck things up my ass before and get absolutely no pleasure from it.
Even looked up a guide to make sure I was hitting the prostate right, and there was sort of a feelsgoodman angle to it but nothing close to normal masturbating
>>28990695
In my experience, id have to say yes. Its a meme.
Ask a robot who just paid a Brazillian tranny $200 to cum in his ass anything
How much do you pay for car insurance? have you had any serious car related accidents in the last three years?
>>28990685
How do you plan on living out the rest of your life with HIV and eventually, aids?
>>28990685
>brazilian
why?
How many posts must your thread get on /r9k/ before you deem it to be successful?
Do you ever repost a failed thread in the hopes that it will be successful the second time around?
Do you meticulously pick out an accompanying image for your thread or do you just quickly post one that vaguely fits?
What's the most popular thread you've ever made?
What's the most (You)s you've ever gotten in response to a single post?
>>28990646
As long as I get a response that satisfies my needs
>What's the most popular thread you've ever made?
I wish I'd been recording this. I've probably only had a few 300+ ebin threads in my lifetime.
Most of my threads on /r9k/ get 5-70 replies. The smaller ones ironically consist mostly of me replying to people and finding excuses to post in order to extend its life though.
if you want to make threads make it to increase the OC level on the board not to get (you)s. You may not get 300+ replies but atleast you'll be doing something to improve the boards quality and there will be plenty of anons out there who will be thankfull for it
tl;dr lurk before shitposting
![skype-logo-open-graph[1].png](https://i.imgur.com/s26fJQ4.png "skype-logo-open-graph[1]")
