Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 1752. page
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W-what should I say now, guys?
Now sit on me, baby
>>29224724
Does this work origo
>By the way, are you free on _____ ? I'd love to get dinner with you.
Do it and post the results. I promise you'll be a changed man, for the better.
What would you be willing to do in order to obtain a loyal and loving gf?
>>29224692
Not a damn thing.
/s nichfeikfekorwf
>>29224692
Share my wealth and home in exchange for them bearing my children and giving me sex. Sounds like a fair deal yeah?
I would be a loyal gf if all men weren't dogs but whatever I guess I will just be alone. Men want everything without any of the effort
>All you need is love
Meme or reality?
>A good bro can stand toe to toe with a good hoe
Reality has been consumed by meme's.
If you ever have to ask.
The answer is always meme.
This is the biggest meme and a big reason why relationships fail.
This is the guy that killed the youtube girl no one seems to care about. Does he look like a robot to you though?
No, he looks like a fag
original Desu
>>29224681
That webm, what the hell
FEMALE PEDOS OUT
>>29224654
>no one seems to care about
People never shut the fuck up about it, beta.
This one time I was chilling on a backyard deck, summer, blue skies and big white clouds. It was that time in the season when the day was swollen with life and heat. I had just finished smoking some weed. I had nothing else to do in the early afternoon.
I sat there for a while taking in the day. I guess I was kind of meditating. It was all so captivating. I remained motionless for a long time.
I don't know how or when it had appeared. It was imperceptible. The plain truth is that a mantis, fully grown and pale orange had been sitting on my shoulder. The moment I became aware of its presence it jumped off my shoulder.. "jumped" is a clumsy term. It was an elegant movement. Glided is more accurate. With its back turned away from me, it sailed through the air, limbs sprawled out as if it was skydiving.
I got out of my chair, and kneeled next to it. It looked at me with that peculiar sort of awareness those creatures have. I bowed to it. And it tentatively paced away.
These beings are rare in my home state.
I live near Chicago. I was driving to work, when I noticed one was hanging off of my driver side mirror. I pulled over and caught it in an empty fast food cup. I worked at a pet store, so there were a lot of workers with weird pets, so I ended up giving it to a co-worker and he fed it to his chameleon.
you think you're a good writer don't you?
One time as a little kid I caught one and brought it inside. I absolutely loved/love insects, so it was so cool.
Then it became free.
Did you know they can fly? Oh baby, they can fly.
Never once have I shat myself so hard as when I had a flying sky ninja around my house.
Shit was off the hook.
We got mantis-bro outside tho. He was cool. Everything ended peacefully.
Now every time I see one I just want to fist bump the little buggers. Cute as hell.
I don't understand the joke behind this current 4chan banner.
Is it too normie for me to comprehend?
>>29224596
Hiro has subtle, weird sense of humor
>>29224596
My guess was that it was Hiro at Bonnaroo
>>29224596
i think the chick that performed there got shot and killed like two days ago
I was wondering if their are any muslim/ex-muslim robots here. What's it like being a robot coming from said background.
Was not allowed to socialize with the kafir, but I still went to public school.
Father wanted me to have muslim friends, but never introduced me to any so I never learned how to make friends. Just did my best in school and gtfo of there to MIT.
>>29224567
>MIT
Are you going to build fancy cuitcase clocks there?
>>29224542
Why would anyone leave the best faith in the world?
>>29224567
Lol you'd be a beta Pajeet regardless of your religion. Murtads are always lame losers.
>Tis the will of the master that shapes the soulless pawn
>The world and all its denizens are but empty vessels. In that regard, no different than the pawns
>The world is merciless... Cold and empty, for all its beauty.
>It is my will that keeps it spinning. My will that urges time onward through eternity
>Without volition, there is no true life. The world falls stagnant, dead as an ocean with no current to guide it. That volition is tempered by the struggle for survival.
>Just as the pawns need of master's command, so the world thirsts for the will to live
You're but a wee pawn to me, roach
>>29224514
One day I'm going to break free from THEIR reigns. THEY will not control me anymore. I may be a pawn now, but if I travel to the other end of the board I will be transformed into something of tremendous power. You just wait.
>>29224587
pawn, knight or king you are still a piece THEY play with.
up you go! must spread masters words!!
>relpy to a post on a different board
>someone replys to you with a "this" or even better yet they reply with a "/thead"
>feel giddy and happy inside for a few seconds
>playing skyrim
I dunno why, it's just so damn comfy.
Anybody who replies with "this" or /thread is cancerous and should be beheaded
>>29224492
/thread
orgigirando
>BRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAP
>"Oh anon, you know I'm lactose intolerant, why did we go for milkshakes?"
>>29224419
why is my girlfriend just screaming BRAP at me?
>>29224419
is this a fetish? or???
>>29224419
prayin 4 u OP
the govt is going to have these posts on file
I'm an ugly guy. I wish I was born looking like Zac Efron, even if I was poor, I don't give a fuck, just having a good face, not small dick and decent height is enough for me to be happy. But I didn't get any of that.
It hurts so much to be alive. I feel like such a piece of shit. I mean, I might as well be an Indian or Chinese living in some shithole somewhere. Life sucks.
I tried relationships. Of course, it was a miserable experience. Never feeling good enough. Because I wasn't. I wanted to be a catch for a lady. But I'm not. My girlfriend hated me. She hated everything about me. She didn't like my face, my height, my body. She was always making me feel lesser than other guys. It was just miserable and the final blow to my self-esteem.
My mind is a battleground. My life is tragedy. I can't move. I can't eat. I can't enjoy anything. I'm just stuck, paralyzed, waiting to die. It will most likely be at my own hand.
>>29224387
Live stream it
Oregano condiment
Listen to me comrade. And when I'm done talking, I want you to really mull this over, alright?
You're not a tall glorious Nordic god. You probably aren't going to reach that. Most people can't. I'm not.
You have to learn that it's okay. Look anon, you're the only one who is truly disappointed by your height. By how small your penis may be.
But right now, if I passed you in a street, I wouldn't care. I wouldn't know you from adam. It doesn't fucking matter. It just doesn't. Don't stress. No one besides you goes to bed at night thinking about how short or how unattractive you are. That's just the truth man. It's just not an issue.
You're mind is a battleground brother. It is for all of us at some point. But the fire of combat is the true redeemer. It separates they weak for the strong.
You may not be physically strong, but you can have a mental fortitude stronger than most everyone. You've fought this long, right? You've fought long enough for someone to try and dig you out of that trench.
So let me tell you what you need to do, friend.
Get off 4chan. Never come back. Start a new life away from us. And most importantly, find something you like to do, and bury yourself in that.
If you don't have anything you like? Well, you're lucky. You have a fresh palate. Go to your local library. Find a book that catches your eye, and read it. If you like it, read more on the subject. If not? Repeat.
Also, find an instrument you like. Guitar, Drums, Ukulele, Harmonica, whatever. Buy one, and I want you to play it, or learn how to, whenever you feel inadequate.
Read when you feel inadequate. Learn when you feel like a lesser.
bodies are not permanent, but music, books, knowledge, it's all eternal.
You just need to focus yourself on things that interest you. Don't care what others think. Because honestly, you're the most important person in the world. Without you, none of this exists. So let go. Be yourself. Enjoy you. Break free.
I love you brother.
Good luck
>>29224605
>And most importantly, find something you like to do, and bury yourself in that.
This worked for me I too was once in a similar situation it gets better just keep your head up
What percentage of people here are actually honest-to-god involuntarily celibate men? I'm watching Alexander Layko's videos and I didn't realize these deranged Elliot Rodger-esque betas were still around.
If you're reading this Alex, I really like your elephant plushie. I hope you can reconfigure your internal state.
>>29224354
Yes, there are legitimate incels/woman haters on this board.
And what do you mean you didn't think they were still around? What's changed you retarded faggot
Stop posting this bitch, you stupid fucking faggot.
I hate being black, everyone hates us , and when they like us they just like us because they think we're rappers, or some stupid shit.
I wish I was white, white guys have it so easy, most of us black guys are fat and ugly and have tiny dicks.
>he isn't a rapper
Why are you even talking?
I'm Hispanic.
At least you guys are usually considered Americans instead of foreign invaders.
I'm King Robot, and the only people i have a problem with are jews...an muslims
because JEWS
Dance for me roach! dance the dance of life!
no I don't want to sorry
>>29224301
you DARE disobey your master? I'll squash you like the vermin you are.
>>29224379
woops, meant for you roachboy.
>>29224318
>be me
>spastic kissless virgin
>school grad party
>been eyeing 9.3/10 qt 2 years straight
>both of us throwing body parts in normie fashion to dankbeets
>brochad walks to her and whispers something in her ear
>she smiles, gives me the look and catwalks to me
>palmssweating.doc
>qt turns around pushes her ass out and starts to slowly twerk against me
>unexpectedshutdown.gif
>brochad gives me thumbs up and nods
>nod back, taking control
>not gonna be outdone by her ass
>turn around, twerk back at her
>she freezes then continues with a confused look on her face
>brochad raises both palms to his face
>realize I fucked up
>too late to withdraw
>song ends 20 seconds later, we both walk off the floor and never talk again
>at least 15 normies witnessed this
pic sorta related
>>29224288
>9.3/10
you really are autistic aren't you
I don't understand this normie double-standard. So she can grind her butt against your crotch, but you can't "twerk" your crotch against her butt? I thought that was the natural think, basically simulating clothed sexual intercourse, male and female bits and pieces rubbing up against each other.
>>29224288
This would have been cool if you laughed it off afterward. So close anon, so close
