Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 586. page
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I'm in so much pain, physical pain
Its the worst, appreciate your health
Tell me more about your pain anon
>>29766374
>I'm in so much pain, physical pain
Nothing a little morphine wouldn't cure
>>29766374
that's why I killed myself
any Jew here browsing /r9k/? Tell me about Israeli girls faggots.
dfdsfgsyreb
dgersjfhgdj
what is there to tell
>tfw no qt IDF gf
Ask a beanerbot any of your existential questions
I'm here for you bruhs-edition
>>29766330
If you had your tongue cut out, should you just kill yourself as well or is there hope in life?
>>29766330
Is that toro y moi
Good to see more black robots on here
Remember:
There are "men" on this board that unironically like this kind of music.
>>29766302
i came into this thinking i wouldnt be like the other girls... but i am like the other girls...
where are these other girls... ;_;
Does anyone else genuinely have no fucking idea how people listen to that much music? Like I go to /mu/ (shithole, shitty shit board) and it seems everyone there has listened to fucking every song ever made! Don't you people have fucking jobs? (forgot where I am for a second, nvm) But seriously, how do you even start? I'm fuckin flabbergasted.
>>29766302
>Reminder other people don't actually care what you do this. man is mentally ill and had no girlfriend! Disregard his post
Name one thing that in a hundred years people will find ridiculous about our society.
>>29766256
gun ownership
>>29766256
CWC, or more importantly the fact that people documented his life.
I'll start.
The fact that certain drugs are criminalized.
There are millions of people not just missing out, but being put in cells for their entire life because they took a substance which affects only themselves and usually in a positive way.
Is it true that most people have casual sex in college or is it just a meme?
I don't think I could even get over a girl not being a virgin, having sex with a guy casually sounds disgusting. I'm going to college this year and I was hoping to find a girl I could have a serious relationship with. Is it really that uncommon now?
>>29766249
Join a religious club; you can find virgins there. If you're not very religious, avoid the non-denominational Christian organizations -- they're usually devout and preachy. Instead go for the Lutheran or Episcopalian club, most of the people in those clubs aren't very religious and just attend the club because they are habituated to the church they grew up in.
Also college religious clubs aren't very popular these days so they'll throw free food and free fun at you to try and keep you from quitting. So even if you don't find a waifu it's a good place to be.
>>29766390
I guess there's nothing to lose, I'll give it a shot. But is it really necessary to join a religious club just to meet a decent girl in college? This makes me really regret spending so much time in highschool on personal hobbies instead of going a serious gf.
>>29766447
I remember about 2 months into college when my Facebook feed was filled with high school couples breaking up. Seriously, 99% of those relationships won't last; don't beat yourself up that you didn't get into one.
Yes there are non-religious virgins in college, but to start dating a girl you need to have common interests and a place where you see each-other regularly. So your chances are a lot better in a club (especially a religious club, if virginity is a must) compared to random girls you meet around campus.
Also the people in religious clubs are generally nice and welcoming, even if you're a robot / failed normie.
I'm the waiter on the left with white jacket
five feet two inches
175cm or something in that range
>>29766285
I'd say as tall as five foot four
A ring ding ding ding d-ding baa aramba baa baa barooumba
he looks like dat boi XD
W-W-W-W-WHATS GOING ON?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w3x9Yq9NFTE
It's time to go back.
What is the cosiest job? All I want is enough to shop for food, pay rent and sometimes buy myself a treat if I save up.
Hard mode: You dont have to get up early
>>29766150
If you live in a country with unconditional unemployment benefits:
NEET
If you do not:
No such thing.
Parking toll collector.
Youtuber...
>>29766150
start a dropshipping business selling dildos to spergs
what are the best things to do while high? Other than eating and laying in bed ofc
share your stories please im kinda new to the whole thing
My friends and i get high n play poker and discuss how women are whores, its pretty fun.
Man I've been getting high every day for the past 5 years
During that time I finished unvieristy and got a nice job.
I use a Volcano Vaporizer which makes my stash last twice as long and is way safer than smoking.
Smoking is for plebs anyway.
To answer your question:
Videogames
Pic related.
>>29766244
Just to clarify
I'm just high all the time, so life is the best thing to when high.
But videogames when high is the best.
>mom found the thinkpads
>throws them in the trash
She's just trying to stop you from being embarrassed if somebody else where to find them.
>>29766133
But I'm not a normie son and don't want some metal ifag book.
>>29766089
what are thinkpads?
(I know about the lenovo laptop brand)
>He complains about women not being virgins because it displays a lack of self control
>He masturbates, which also displays a lack of self control, perfectly fine
Why this double standard?
Yes, I know there are other reasons to not want a non-virgin girl; I am only referring to this reason.
>>29766070
Jokes on you you baiting nigger I haven't jerked off for a weekDon't forget to sage lads
>>29766070
I thought girls masturbated too.
When did sex became masturbation? Does that mean all these virgin neckbeards aren't actually virgin and we were making fun of them all those years for nothing?
>>29766282
>Jokes on you you baiting nigger I haven't jerked off for a week
>Only a week
I'm talking about period. Wow you went a week without fapping. You say that as if it's an accomplishment.
>Wow I went a week without fucking Chad, fuck off you baiter, I clearly have self control!
>>29766287
Sex is not masturbation. Girls do not masturbate as much as men, at least partially because they have dick on tap. You're missing the point I'm trying to make here, which is that hating a woman for having sex, because she "lacks self control", is stupid if one gives into their urge to masturbate, which also displays a lack of self control. If you fap you have no right to criticize roasties for this reason.
Between alcohol, weed, shitloads of caffeine and creatine, and anxiety meds, I don't even remember the last time I wasn't under the influence of something.
It's been at least a year.
Im beginning to forget what my personality actually ia. Since it seems to be entirely dependent on what chemicals I've taken recently.
I remember that people didn't like it too much. Maybe this is a way to reset...
Same, but I'm quitting everything except weed.
>tfw you realize everybody can probably see you're on something, all the time even if you use eye drops and take every step to not have the classic signs
>tfw coworker asked me why my eyes were so white the other day
>tfw you realise if you go a couple weeks without drugs and all the aftereffects and fog wear off you will have to fully face reality and the circumstance you're in and how terrifying that is
Everyone is on a cocktail of something.
If you really want to "detox" then stop everything cold turkey, take up strenuous daily exercise, and drink shitloads of water.
All 'you' are at any given time is a handful of chemicals and ever fading memories.
No shit if you're hopped up on any drug cocktail for too long you'll get weird. Just be glad you're not into particularly heavy shit and probably try to cut back. Reading and exercise is a productive way to fill time you would have spent sitting around stoned anyways.
Why do we all hate outside I been talking on >>>/out/ after someone told me to leavbe this place (I ams a fuckin robot fk off) but it seem like pretty good place maybe I get it wrong about outside
>>29766045
Wat
Make some fucking sense
Like right now please
>>29766073
Wham just asking if outside is bad as people say it is people saying even autistic peoples can have fun outzside
>>29766085
>wham
What
>outside
Is this literal or slang
Now for something totally different, let's analyze older threads in which robots have stated that they will kill themselves soon, to speculate if they actually died or what happened to them.
Thread 1, suicide by dehydration guy: desuarchive.org/r9k/thread/28151410/
Posted over 2 months ago, the OP states that he's on day 3 of his suicide attempt by dehydration. A pretty dumb method, I don't think he continued posting after this. He likely pussied out, but if he had endured this for a week more or so, he would definitely have died. Likely to have been a ruse.
Thread 2, Auckland suicide guy: http://desuarchive.org/r9k/thread/29194635/
Posted almost one month ago, the OP states that his father died and that his family blames him for it, telling him to kill himself. He then sets up a livestream in which he reportedly overdosed himself on pills and had the intention to stab his throat, but he needed a better knife. The stream was deleted shortly after and then he stopped posting, no one yet knows why. For some reason he posted his address in the thread before that, so it's likely that he received medical attention and is now stuck in a psych ward. The stream was definitely real but no one recorded it unfortunately. Pic related is the guy.
Thread 3, locked room suicide guy: http://desuarchive.org/r9k/thread/29294331/
Posted almost one month ago as well, the OP here states that he plans to kill himself by locking himself in a room with no water, food or phone while his parents are away on a trip to Europe. He took a laptop with no charger to him to keep us all posted, eventually I assume that his laptop died and then was starting to die. If this story is real he's definitely dead by now: no food or water, can't get out. Dehydration should have killed him in about a week. It's possible that all of this is a ruse as well, since no proof whatsoever of his situation was posted.
Thoughts on this? Also, if you have another attentionwhoring suicide thread around, post it.
I thought we were waiting on death #36 for the year? It's 7 above last year's pace.
>>29765968
I had performed some limited research on some of these incidents too, but mainly just thread 2. Pic related is a screenshot taken from his stream, fucking nothing happens in here but it's one the few bits of information that people were able to gather.
Some threads with his pic made after the thread was taken down (yes it was deleted):
desuarchive.org/r9k/thread/29196926/
desuarchive.org/r9k/thread/29205868/
Made by me. There was another thread too, but I'm sure that nothing worth of any note came out of it, and that only a few people posted.
Basically no one really knows anything, everything could have been a ruse.
I wish there was a way to know. I hope they don't kill themselves.
