Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 6823. page
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Fuck you Carolina.
Fuck you Arizona
>>25296607
Go falcons! I'm sick of that shufflin coon.
I thought I was the only /sp/artan that came here.
>tfw fat
>trying to stop eating shit food
>tfw realize eating tasty food is one of the best feels in your life
No.
Being fit is one of the best feels in your life.
Having a qt gf is one of the best feels in your life.
Being able to choose clothes that you like is one of the best feels in your life.
Being able to dance and do active sports and hobbies without worrying about your flab flopping around one of the best feels in your life.
Not feeling ashamed of your body one of the best feels in your life.
What you have is an addiction, its the closest thing to a positive feeling you have, because you don't get to experience those other things... because you're fat.
Put the fork down fatbro.
5'7 here, down to 205 from 220
sitting at like 25% bf, need to go down to at least 165lbs to be lean. ive already been lifting for a few years so i have decent muscle mass on my body but i never changed my diet so i just ended up being powerlifter mode
>poor college student
>have to ration candy; 6 blocks of chocolate a day
>eating my daily chocolate is the highlight of almost every day and I always look forward to it
>he has a weird fetish
What's "weird"?
Everybody does, I'd assume
>>25296602
No. Most people don't have fetishes. Pretty much only awkward people have fetishes.
>he has a fetish
So Anon have you decided to give up your evil barbaric ways? You know killing animals is just like killing people right?
>>25296445
I'd totally eat humans if human flesh wouldn't fuck up my body.
Human meat not healthy, yo.
>survival of the fittest
If I'd end up being eaten, well shit, but fair is fair, right? Just means that someone was better.
>>25296445
the thing vegans fail to understand is that I just don't care kek
Was this supposed to be extremely arousing?
>Hit it off with girl at the office
>Ask her to coffee
>Before you go, google her
>This pops up
Would your plans change?
>>25296142
No. People have sex. Girls suck cocks.
But, I'd never ask a girl that attractive, so whatever.
>>25296142
>ew gross she has sex? I wanted to read Ayn Rand and Dawkins to her
is this genuinely how some people react?
>>25296226
>defending whores
C U C K
do women enjoy sucking dicks ?
>>25295585
it is difficult and you get lockjaw but i guess i do desu
t. inexperienced dicksucker
>>25295632
It's like you want to pick fights with robots.
Only if you are rich and famous.
Dear wageslave,
I'm a proud NEET and I'd just like to say thank you. I know there are a lot of threads teasing you and putting you down (probably all posted by the same person) and I just want you to know it means a lot to me that you work a job so I don't have to. You make life worth living. You're the yin to my yang. I love you forever and always. Stay strong.
No need to thank me, I was NEET and it was miserable. Having huge surpluses of money and a job to keep my mind busy during the weekdays is great. 10/10
>>25295393
I'll be sure to bully you last, OP
It's good to know my work is directly helping to produce the dankest memes. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Is cutting yourself invariably an edgy act? I know the majority of people who do it are attention-whoring edge lords but can it be non-edgy if done right?
I
> only cut places nobody will see
> do it in places I know I'll never be caught
> never talk about it (this thread is the first time I've brought it up)
> maintain an outward appearance of being perfectly stable and happy
> primarily do it for the endorphins
Am I an edgy faggot or can I keep doing what I'm doing?
I'm in a similar situation. I only really do it when fucked up on benzo's+alcohol. My upper left shoulder has a bunch of scars from lighter burns, and my upper left thigh is covered with fading cuts from a couple nights I had at it with my bayonet.
I wouldn't say I maintain an outward appearance of happiness or stability, but I'm not going to let anyone know that I self harm.
So why do you talk about it now?
>caring about what strangers on the internet think about something they have no impact on and no interest
yes you're an edgy faggot
What would your skin look like
>>25293938
a dictionary
>>25293938
>9gag
Literally get the fuck out you underaged cunt
The words I speak... or the words I post on 4chan?
Theres a fucking big difference.
Who /lewd with siblings/ ?
My sister had drunken pity sex with me on Christmas night the other day.
Will greentext it in the next posts
>in b4 walk the dinosaur
>in b4 hulkcest
>be me
>be KHV
>not ugly or fat or or anything, just anti-social
>tumblr-tier sister (not landwhale either, just typical blue hair and muh pansexual parade bullshit)
>she's of course a bit of a slut, has banged I don't know how many guys, and has rubbed clams with more girls than I ever have
>I know because she would always bring them down to the basement in the guest bedroom, next to my bedroom, and not in her own room upstairs since it's close to our parents'
>occasionally fap to the sound of it, but mostly get annoyed
>anyway, Christmas day
>have dinner with parents, they let her drink some champagne
>I was already pretty sloshed because I was drinking my own sauce earlier
>we surprisingly all get along, talk about times where that funny thing happened when we were kids
>get our presents, have a good time
>sister is barely able to stand up
>hours have passed, I eventually excuse myself to go back to shitposting
>parents say something like "back to your cave eh anon? see you next year!"
>go to basement
>decide to catch up on my Chinese cartoons in the basement's living room
>get through a few episodes
>sister literally tumbles down the stairs, like she misses 2/3 of all the steps
>"MMMMMBBLLLLAAANON happy.. uh... christmas" she stumbles by
>"cheers" raise my beer to her
>she uses washroom
>waddles out, nearly breaks the door
>"hey uh do you can I have some?" while looking at my beer
>shrug
>go to my room and get 6-pack from mini-fridge
>get back to couch
>she's taken up like 2/3s of it
>eh
>sit down next to her
>"haahaaaaa is this the uh hentai haha where are the tentacles"
>explain to her how anime is a superior form of media, which isn't entirely false
>she watch most of a couple of episode with me, laughing really loudly
>half the 6-pack is gone, I had just the one from it and she had two
>"is this like what you do all the day?"
>think about all the shitposting I do before replying "not really no this is just for fun"
>cont
>>25293852
Hurry and cont anon
>>25293852
>"so ah then what when was your last girlfriend?"
>tfw no gf
>try to keep a poker face
>"you know... a while ago"
>".....OHHHHHHHHHMYGOD ANON hahahahahaaaa no way you really are a virgin ahahahahaaa"
>I don't have to sit here and take this
>"hahahaa hhhmmm okay my bad yeah okay what if so like pretend that we're on a date okay, and you already got me drunk hahahaaa how would you seduce me"
>try some cheesy pick-up lines
>she laughs at most of them
>"no anon th-uh that works only in video games tell me how good looking I am yeah and be close to me"
>she grabs my arm and puts it over her shoulder & then leans onto me
>think for a second
>"You uh you're looking really good today, and you look good every other day"
>"hahaaa not bad anon"
>"I'm so glad that you came out on this date with me"
>"hhmmmm okay okay"
>she's looking up at me, grinning
>boner
>this is... we're just practicing.. right?
>lean in and kiss her
>she kisses me at first but then pushes me back
>"anon!..... okay... well yeah I guess I can show you how to kiss good"
>she leans up on me some more, her breasts brushing up against my shoulder and arms
>keeping my eyes closed
>open them up every now and then and she's got her eyes closed as well
>we're just kissing for I don't know how long
>regular lip-on-lip to full-mouth tongue-massage
>can see that she's now got a wide grin on her face
>tempt fate
>put my hand on her stomach
>go up shirt
>about to grab her boob
>she stops me
>"huhhhhaahhhhhh unh-unh anon... how do you unhook a bra?"
>"..."
>she turns around, back facing and lifts up her shirt a bit
>turns to me "well?"
>stare at it for a second
>try to recall if my anime taught me anything
>push together, don't pull apart
>comes undone in one move
>"eee! anon! nice job I-"
>from behind her, pull on her hair so her head tilts up and I start kissing her again
>she's grabbing the back of my head and pulling me in
>cont
Who here's /addictedtosoda/?Literally poising my body with this stuff, but there's just nothing like a crisp glass of coke to wake you up in the morning
I'm addicted to Diet Coke.
>>25292894
Try drinking tea instead. You're probably just addicted to the caffeine.
>>25293620
Aspartame and caffeine addictions most likely. Not as problematic since it's diet.
>>25292894
I was drinking soda for about a month straight and now my appetite is completely destroyed. I was eating a single meal a day, if I was lucky, for about a week. As soon as I stopped drinking so much soda and switched to juice/water, my appetite returned.
I was around 130-135lbs and now I'm down to 128. I think my stomach shrunk and I'm not sure if it's a direct result from the soda, but I can't seem to gain the weight back. Am I fucked??
>girlfriend just cheated on me
>that's not even the worst part
>I told my mom about it and she said "just give it time. I put your father through hell early in our relationship but he just waited patiently until I got my shit together."
So now not only do I hate my now ex-gf, I also hate my own fucking mom. My mom was someone I always respected. When I read memes on /r9k/ about women, I always thought that it was mostly true, but I believed that a small % of women are better than what /r9k/ says. I always thought of my mom as one of the nice and pure ladies as an example and held out hope that I would one day meet a woman who is nice like my mom.
I now know that I was being naive and that even my mom was a fucking vapid whore and she probably doesn't even appreciate the free ride in life that my dad is giving her now. And I also lost respect for my own father for putting up with this shit.
/r9k/ you weren't just memeing, it's all actually true. Is life even worth living?
>tfw mom cheated on my dad
>tfw he's married to a fat old bitch that has 3 kids with another guy
>tfw dad is a career cuck
the worst part is that you can't undo it
the ride never ends
>>25292559
At least you dump the girl right?
So anon, what are you doing on New Year s Eve
I'm gonna take my Christmas money and buy a bunch of alcohol. Gonna torrent some movies and get drunk off Bootleggers and Bacardi. Probably end up jacking off on Omegle as usual.
Silling myklef
Gonna have to face this question when I get a haircut this week.
No idea what I should say.
>Strums
>>25291973
When I want you in my arms
>>25292622
when i want you and all your charms
Whenever I want you, all I have to do is meme
the days of emptiness between Christmas and New Years edition
PAKIS OUT TBQH
oc
ITS NIGHT TIME YOU CRETIN
YOU'RE NOT A YANK ARE YOU?
3rd for your mum sucked my nob under the mistletoe
