Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 4658. page
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>that feel when you get so fucking lonely that you resort to watching shitty romantic comedies alone
>that feel when no Kat Dennings quirky-but-not-too-quirky gf with monster tits
its a depressing feel to be quite honest friends.
Stop being a pussy and just jerk off to her nudes
>>27393991
>like a real man
>lonely
>watch romantic comedies alone
Sounds like a great way to achieve more loneliness.
I just experienced a controlled delivery and am thinking I might be fucked.
>order an ounce of MDMA over the deep web
>meant to be here in three days and it's been a week so I'm already anxious
>shifty looking delivery guy who I've never seen before knocks on my door
>asks me to sign for the package
>"Oh a package? I'm not expecting one but maybe it's from my mom or something."
>"You're not expecting a package? Oh okay."
>take it inside
>put it on washing machine and turn on
>5 minutes later police come running through my door which thankfully I left unlocked or else they probably would have bust it down screaming "POLICE"
>have just enough time to take the package off the washing machine and turn it off
>arrest me
>whole Good Cop Bad Cop routine at the station
>first "We get it; you just wanted to have some fun. We all did something like this at your age. We're not interesting in making this difficult for you, we're just trying to catch the real bad guys, the suppliers. Admit it now and you'll get off free."
>to "You're FUCKED. You're going to go to prison if you keep lying to us. Tell us what we already know and stop fucking us around."
>deny everything, say I wasn't expecting a package and have no idea what's in it
>get away with it and am allowed to go home after a few hours, told they'll be back to speak to me again
Drugs thread I guess.
>did this at college 3 times
>worked every time
>>27393615
Are controlled deliveries this common
Lol you played it smart OP an ounce of MDMA is considered a means to distribute if you had admitted to it they would've fucked your shit up so bad also never buy in bulk you dumb fuck.
>Tfw no qt gamer gf to play CoD and Battlefield with
>>27393553
Imagine a male sending that exact same snapchat.
>Tfw no qt cosplaying nerd gf to write fanfic with
why do they even try
I've pretty much accepted the fact that I'm never going to get a girlfriend, but there's still some part of me that yearns for companionship. I don't want to waste my time and get sad over something that I won't have so I need a way of stopping these feelings
You can't, because you're a pleb. I bet you like the same music and movies that most people do.
Read some Schopenhauer.
>>27393593
Schopenhauer felt >tfw no gf so hard it's not even funny.
He couldn't get with his oneitis.
I just turned down a date with a nice girl because I didn't felt like it.
Bear in mind I'm unattractive and only one girl has loved me in my >25 years of existence and it's not attributable to depressions, as I'm already on working meds.
Bash this cyborg to death, robos.
>>27393503
I love turning girls down. Of course I rarely get the opportunity. They seem confused and they get mad because, you know, what the fuck is a genetic dud and social offshoot like me doing turning them down? They get salty like pretzels.
One time this Stacy bitch who was always cunty to me, who looks like Stella Maeve was flirting with me to make her Chad ex mad. I think she wanted to rub salt in the would by fucking a low tier dingus like me, like it would be more of a slap in the face for him or something, I don't know.
He was about 10-15 feet away doing something and he was visibly frustrated, and she finally said "what are you doing later?" in this sexy way.
I said "not you." and me and Chad laughed hard, he was shocked, and she flipped her shit and called me a fag and I said "enough time around you and I will be." and she got even more mad and stormed off.
It was awesome.
>>27394115
Did you fap to her when you got home?
>>27394115
original posto mr roboto man sire
What level of hell will you be residing in?
I bet the greed guys are pretty swoll.
Probably the hypocrite level
Or maybe the one reserved for sorcerers because I'm a wizard
Lust sounds fun as fuck however it'll probably be Heresy or more likely violence against self. At least I get to be eaten by a sexy harpie lady, she can feast on my sap anyday.
Are you born a Chad or can you become one at any given time?
>>27393460
That guy is a literal faggot.
Also, you can become Chad at any given point if you're not completely hideous.
>>27393484
or short, or ethnic
You have to be born with the right looks and brain chemistry, or you will never be a Chad. Not everyone who has the right setup turns into Chad immediately, but these people can easily make the transition, which is where all the stupid advice and the idea, that anyone can just do it comes from.
>TVTropes
>Deviantart
Help add to this list.
How about websites with the most underage children?
>/pol/
>/r9k/
>/b/
>>27393416
>4chan
originaltotallycment
>>27393423
Add /v/ and /tv/ to this list.
ITT: Documentaries for robots
bumpfdasjsfjsfahdsfgasdfdfsdf
I can't think of any but I would like to watch some. Have a bump
The Bridge, documentary about people who jumped off the Golden Gate bridge
What is the subreddit equivalent of this board? a has anime, v has videogames, fa has streetwear and malefashionadvice, mu has indieheads and hiphopheads, etc
>>27393405
Who cares go back to your containment website
/r/faggots
>>27393405
Feels and funposting
>working on homework
>finish
>watch anime
>guy next door is boning some chick
>moaning and slapping and squishing sounds coming through the wall
>go out to take a shit
>girl he's boning makes him stop becasue they can hear me leave my room
>10 minutes later my RA comes to talk to me about her complaining about "sexual harassment" because they thought I was jerking it to their sex sounds
I hate normies, they just can't stand that I exist
>>27393402
fucking hilarious, it's their fault for being that loud
>>27394416
No, it's OP's fault for ruining their sex specifically because he can't get any.
>>27394455
they stopped because they didn't know he was in the other room, also not realizing you make too much noise when fucking.
fucking amateurs
What are the chances of getting a blonde white qt gf as a non-white?
I can't help myself from desiring every blonde girl I see
>>27393388
Pretty good if you're black
You have to be an uber chad, because you will face competition from every jealous white guy who sees you together.
>>27393446
I'm not, I'm half Russian half Persian so it's a mix of normies shitting on me for supposedly looking white skinned enough to feel guilty but at the same time suffer from having no good white traits (nice light hair/eyes, minimum body hair etc)
Life has really run a cruel joke on me
>tfw just called the police on my weed smoking neighbors It feels so good
Stuipd fucking virgin, you just ruined someone's life for no reason.
>>27393337
>virgin
wew lad, junkie got what he deserves
>>27393337
>for no reason
They were smoking weed.
The reason that their lives were ruined is because they broke the law
Good job, OP
>if you're balding and you know it hang yourself
>if you're balding and you know it hang yourself
>if you're balding and you know it and you're starting to have to show it if you're balding and you know it hang yourself;_;
Clap clap.original fucking comment
a fuck tonne of men go bald and have no fucking problem with it and it makes you consider suicide. get over yourself bro some people have real problems like me i'm 5 foot 8
Is it true the anti-balding pills (the ones meant for enlarged prostate) are like the tranny tittieskitties?
Like, you hair kinda starts growing but your testosterone levels get fucked up and grow boobs etc?
Is it mediocre to want to live a simple life ?
I know I won't achieve anything great and I won't live long enough to do everything I'd possibly want to, so I might as well just enjoy the most simple things.
>>27393309
Not really, no. A "simple life" is becoming hard as nails to achieve lately.
>>27393317
I guess, but wouldn't it be seen as a waste of time by anyone else ?
I basically want the hank hill lifestyle
