Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 2652. page
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>*A portly fellow in a flame shirt waddles to the counter of a Starbucks*
>"What would you like sir?"
>*The atheist squints around the coffee bar, his hands at the sides of his khaki shorts like he had two holsters. With one hand he expertly pulls out his wallet and with the other, he brings the tip of his hat down before placing his order*
>"Coffee. Black."
>*A hush falls over the patrons and staff. Women gush in their panties as whispers from men can't believe what's transpiring. The barista looks like he's about to faint, his grip on the cup furiously shaking as he slides it over the counter to our hero*
>*The cheetoh avenger slaps down a sticky five and a quarter with his hamhock fist before mumbling to no one that they should "keep the change", knowing he's a far better human being than people that put sugar or milk in their coffee*
JUST COFFEE MY SHIT UP
good thread OP
coffee is best black though
Best shitpost I've seen today
who /relapsed/ here?
clean for 4 months this time, then got a little extra cash from work this week and bought a gram
gone within the hour
As long as the drugs don't make you I don't see a problem in doing drugs every 4 months
>>28714362
Yeah man loosen up, live a little.
>>28714362
>>28714372
don't listen to these retards, some people can handle drugs and some people can't.
if you're one of the ones that can't handle it then don't do it, stop being a faggot.
Does anyone have screenshots of the anon that posted his suicide note with this song?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R2LQdh42neg
>bumping for interest
real relaxing tune too
>>28714404
Saw a comment under the song on youtube saying rip to an anon who posted his suicide not and really want to see it. I don't know why.
>>28714455
inspiration?
Wow. I just drank an entire bottle of Delsym cough syrup for kids and I've been on a 5 hour intense trip. Took me like thirty minutes just to write this but it was life changing. If any of you fuckers are down on your luck you should try it, brought back a lot of childhood memories and makes life seem not so serious.
Seriously one of the most intense moments of my life, be fucking prepared. I think next time I'm going to watch Poltergeist with a friend while we both trip. Should be intense as hell.
This was one of the most bizarre moments in my entire life. I can't explain it, but I'm changed. My phone feels curved like a bowed piece of wood. I tried getting up to pee and opened my door but couldn't make it across the hallway because it seemed to go on forever. Man we live in a crazy world.
>>28714300
Please describe your trip more for the curious anons out there
>>28714300
>>28714323
I downed a bottle of DXM cough syrup once.
My body felt intensely tingly and hot (almost like hot spikes all on my flesh), then I got super cold. Then my temperature felt fine, and I guess I sort of felt dissociated.
The next two days I felt like I couldn't concentrate on anything. Overall, pretty shit drug.
MDMA master race
>>28714323
Haha dude seriously if your that interested just go and get some at the store when it opens tomorrow. I don't have the coordination to type this out on my phone. It's a struggle. I was sick a few days ago so I bought a bottle of cough medicine. For some reason tonight I just decided to drink the whole thing without knowing what to expect.
I've never done any drugs before. Just weed, beer, the usual things. I took it like five hours ago so the worst is past now my head is throbbing. I'm gonna stay awake a few more hours, it's a bit boring now and not as intense, I just have no coordination and time is really, I mean really slow motion. Everything is basically like a DJ Screw song. Reminds me of when I got my wisdom teeth taken out.
I hope when I sober up I can write what it was like. It's very difficult just to type this, I feel like an extra terrestrial.
Who else here has been living off of Bing points for the past year? You know it is a good search engine when the pay you for using it. I love it when I finally get 475 points so I can get that Amazon card and buy some Nissin!
typing
>qazwsxedcrfvtgbyhnujmikolp
every letter of the keyboard into the search bar in the exact order. deleting one letter at a time, for every search, is a good quick way to rack up the alotted points for the day.
what all do you have to do?
it seems to not work in my country, but I love such "games"
>I'm a left-libertarian
>>28714263
Right-libertarianism is the only libertarianism
Also libertarian socialism is an oxymoron
>>28714277
And muslim extremist is a tautology
>>28714263
>>28714277
both left and right libertarians are retarded, sorry famalam
>I don't care if it stinks anon get your nose in there and sniff!
>>28714234
love circumcised pussy
>>28714809
>circumcised
wut
>>28714234
I wish I could get more sex so I didn't worship these degenerates fuck that's a nice looking pussy hnnnnng
>almost halfway through 2016
>women still believe they can be alone through any means other than their own choice
If you're a girl and you aren't deformed or a burn victim then its your own fault that you're single. You could literally ask out any average looking boy and he'd say yes. But you're too fucking lazy and/or entitled to do that.
>>28714223
I've been rejected by over 200 men and I still don't have a bf
>>28714223
your pasta is a bit flawed but I agree
it should read
>be a woman
>dont be too ugly or too fat
>any guy you want
>>28714280
adult female? have a pulse? i'll date you
Tired, hungover and cold edition
Just ascended to Godhood AMA
>>28714240
How does it (/brit/)feel
>>28714240
if I pray to you will you cure my acne?
The angel of death comes to you at this moment.
You may make one argument for him letting you live.
I have none.oregano
I'd beg him to let me live until I lose my virginity.
That way I'll never die.
Our mutual love for hello kitty should suffice.
Why is this world so cold?
>>28714028
cuz i aint magical
>america
>the world
every time
>>28714199
Yep, that about sums it up.
Hey robots post your daily routine and how that makes u feel.
I wake up 2 or 3 times throughout the morning until I decide I don't want to sleep anymore and I lay in bed for another hour or so. After that I get up from my bed and put on a shirt and shorts and go outside my room and serve myself some coffee. Say Hi to my grandma and ask her how she is doing while I enjoying my daily caffeine intake. I either stay with her for a while longer or go back to my room where I turn on my computer and browse r9k for hours on end. I'll sometimes get up to take a shit or shower if I'm feeling a little bit too disgusting. By the time I'm back in my room or if I didn't left it, breakfast is already getting cold. I serve myself a plate and retreat back to my room where I eat my food in peace. I finish eating and take the plate to kitchen where I clean my dishes and other dishes that are dirty around the house. Once I'm done doing other chores I'll feed my cats. Sometimes I'll stay outside to catch some air, or play with the kittens. Then i'll go back to my room where I'll spend most of the day there, now that I've done something around the house, I feel comftorable enough to sit down and relax. Most of my day is pretty boring. I don't really enjoy being on r9k or playing the same game over and over again, but there isn't much to do. The pattern repeats throughout the day until nightfall when I masturbate and continue the never ending cycle when I go back to sleep
>>28714096
You can always separate that fucking wall of text into a few lines of greentext you know
>Wake up
>Grab a brush and put a little make up
>Hide the scars to fade away in the shake up
>Whyd you leave the keys up on the table
>Here you go create another fable
Well, I lost my virginity today, from being a kissless handholdless neet literally.
I don't know what to feel
I am extremely angry and depressed that I missed out on this in my youth.
Having a wet dream about Ayase-san doesn't count nerd
>OP
>not greentexting
kys fgt desu senpai
please tell me what it feels like
Who else /tobacco/ here?
I experimented with cigarettes towards the end of last semester (first year of college). Nicotine "high" is SUPER nice when you are drunk. Now I'm living with my parents for the summer, and not on my college campus so I can't buy alcohol (the stores around here confiscate fake IDs), and I can't smoke weed because of a fucking drug test coming up. On top of it, my parents won't let me spend the night at friends' houses because they know I will drink with them if I do.
So now I sneak out of my house every night at 3 am and smoke a bowl of tobacco in my new pipe. Tonight I smoked a nice bowl of Amaretto. I do it because it's the only way I can "get fucked up", except not really because the buzz sucks when you're sober. I have an ounce of maryjane stashed away, and it kills me that I can't smoke it because of the upcoming drug test. I wonder how soon it will be until I get cancer.
Share tobacco stories, how you smoke, how you started smoking, etc.
>getting fucked up
>tobacco
Underage confirmed.
Don't smoke you fucking retard.
>>28713927
I'll join in anyway.
>14
>working
>girls at work buy me smokes
>fast forward to 23
>quit
It's addictive and not really worth it. Just smoke weed, faggot.
>>28713984
What else can I do to keep the boredom/sadness away?
What are your thoughts on smoking weed?
also, fuck this world
I like the nice orderly rows those jugs are in.
>>28713981
I like the colors. Which is why I posted it
>>28713886
why is that bottle in the right upper corner white?
it's milk right, RIGHT?
![0521160351[1].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/Tny6t94.jpg "0521160351[1]")
