Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 4777. page
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Welp
I have a date tomorrow. My second date of all time. So far I have a 100% fail rate.
I need your help. I know its this is the last place I should ask for help on a date, but I don't trust anywhere else. PLEASE I CANT FUCK THIS UP.
HOW DO I STOP BEING SO NERVOUS
xanax
do eet
Tell a joke to lighten the mood
Just say:
"Do y-y-you Do you h-hhhhaaaaavv do you haaave uh arefrigherator at your house, because if its walking you should g-go caaaatch it"
Kill yourself and go on the date as a corpse.
It worked for Bernie in Weekend at Bernie's 2
Is it still self harm if you use a safety pin? I have been scratching my self with them really hard and it produces a pseudo-cut. I also poke them deep into my muscles. I do this on my thighs so no one can tell. Also I have a question: I just poked one deep into my thigh and a dot of dark blood came out and a bruise formed really quickly. Is this bad?
yes its bad. its all bad.
>>27299126
Here is your attention.
>>27299196
That's kind of mean. I really don't want this to be attention seeking I just figure someone on /r9k/ could relate and let me know if I fucked myself up or gave myself an abscess out something
Hey /r9k/.
My boyfriend confessed to me that he has a BBW fetish a month ago and I decided to go through with his fetish. I gained 6kg since then and the sudden regret finally got to me today. How do I tell him that I don't want to do this anymore? He's so excited and happy that I'm finally getting a belly but I feel disgusting.
Thank you, I have an erection now.
>My boyfriend confessed to me that he has a BBW fetish
But him in the fucking garbage.
Don't ruin your body for that degenerate faggot.
>you will never be a fat girl that fulfills your boyfriend's BBW fetish
Live my dream OP. Do it for me.
Man I want my fucking email back!pls, handsome robot
>>27299083
Original bumpo. Can I even bumb it myself?
>>27299230
No.
I'm not going to help you, either.
>>27299497
Just kidding.
Here's your bump, friendo.
I wish i could join Their club
>>27299025
They sure didn't do this guy dirty
Jews really seem to have strong morals and aren't interested in benefiting themselves and their race at all
t. Rothschild
Original Jesus pic
>>27299086
I wish i could be a blood sacrifice for their passover feast
I unironically support the nation of Israel and its right to exist.
Where does /r9k/ see themselves in 10 years?
I'll start
>wage slave either low level lawyer or JD related Job
>blames other people
>mid tier law school graduate
>sex tourist
>abuses alcohol or coffee
>twice as cynical about women
>I'll be dating a 29 year old girl that was a party slut 4 years ago that I have no intention of marrying
>in a few heated conflicts or road rage incident
>still preparing for race war I thought would come
>paleontological researcher
>barely finished dissertation
>friendless
>collect Gunpla in time I`m not working
>stay in all day
>thinks he`s living the life,but in the end knows much better
>>27299024
you might as well kill yourself now and save us all the trouble you miserable shit.
>>27299186
Pls no bully
Original fresh comment
>owning a gun
Is there anything more tryhard and cringeworthy?
Hey you're a faggot.
Yes
>owning a sports car
Wtf. I hate OP now.
>drop out of college over bullshit reasons
>mommy reasonably pissed
>won't take me to my trade training anymore
>wants me to take bus
>training is in one of the shittiest cities in America
Any survival tips robots?
Go to a technical college and don't fuck it up this time
posting sauce would be a good start
>>27299112
enjoy robot
;;;;;)
Happy birthday to me. Happy birthday to me. Happy birthday to meee. Happy birthday to me.
>I have wasted 20 years worth of resources
Happy birthday anon. Hang in there.
>>27298780
Happy birthday, anon.
Have a great day!
pls don't ban me
>>27298809
Thanks, I'm trying to
How do I become alpha? I'm sick of being a beta weakling.
you can't become alpha you're either born one or you're not
>>27298777
step 1 would be to leave this place and never return. It is a blight on your existence. No joke.
Go to a doctor and get blood tests to see if you are deficient in anything.
Hire a personal trainer.
May work. May not. You could just end up a muscular robo.
>tfw actions have consequences
>tfw an action is just a consequence of the actions that preceded it
Follow my quick and easy solution:
Do nothing. That's right, by taking out the actions you have removed any consequences.
>>27298717
Consequences can only exist if you care about them.
What is the most fucked up socially unacceptable perverted thing that you have done?
Back when I live in an apartment, a hot milf neighbor would leave her sandals outside her door. One day at 3 to 4 am or so I took them inside, masturbated with them, and put them back.
My childhood home had a pool and my (fat af and nasty) sister would always have her really hot high school friends over.
They almost always left their clothes behind in the bathroom and I would fap with their panties pretty much every time.
>>27298673
Steal a girl's socks right after she got home from a 9 hour bus ride wearing boots.
I jacked off into one sock while sniffing the other.
Then I stuffed 'em back in her boots.
I steal nude pics. If I'm alone with your phone/computer and know I have time, I will go searching for them, copy them to a flash drive, and stick them in a folder buried deep, deep in my computer.
I've stolen straight up nudes, pics for boyfriends, saved snapchats, hell, I even stole some nude modelling pictures a girl I know had on her DSLR.
I've never felt an ounce of shame, either. I'll never fuck these girls so I feel I'm owed a chance to see what they look like naked, and I'll take advantage of that opportunity any time I can.
How do robots feel about this?
>>27298538
Good for them. I imagine she's happier than he was before.
The entire bottom row is cute except for the last picture.
Probably has to do with the intense lighting.
>>27298538
Would make her my wife. She's cute.
why do all normies clame to have anxiety?
Everyone experiences anxiety at different points in their lives, it is a type of emotion.
Most people, however, are not diagnosed with any form of clinical anxiety.
When most people say, "I have anxiety" they mean, "I feel worried and upset" not "I have been diagnosed with clinical anxiety."
Perhaps they do experience anxiety. They just drown it out with sex and alcohol and status-games.
>>27298667
>they just drown it out with sex and alcohol and status-games
So the things that people with anxiety have the most difficulty achieving (except alcohol, I suppose)?
Really though, if it were that easy to cope with anxiety no one would give a single shit about it.
>Researchers looking into mortality trends and autism have made a troubling discovery: People on the autism spectrum are dying young -- some 12 to 30 years earlier than might otherwise be expected.
>The analysis, conducted by Sweden's Karolinska Institute and published in the British Journal of Psychiatry, found that the leading cause of premature death in autistic adults isn't due to diseases, such as heart ailments or cancer, that are the main killers in the general population. It's suicide.
>Individuals considered to be on the "high-functioning" end of the spectrum with strong language skills -- those who might have been diagnosed with Asperger's before the diagnostic criteria changed -- still had double the risk of dying young as those without the condition.
https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/to-your-health/wp/2016/03/18/people-on-the-autism-spectrum-live-an-average-of-18-years-less-than-everyone-else-study-finds/
>>27298204
doesn't surprise me. Also, I would imagine accidental death due to things like being hit my a car would also be higher than the NT population.
im diagnosed aspie and very suicidal so I'd say the meme is true.
I'm actually okay with this, I don't want to live until I'm old.
