Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 1237. page
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>be me
>nerd not so nerd
>Chad walks to me
>invites me to a party with lots of girls
>accept it
>at the party
>lots of girls and alcohol
>Chad tells me to go get a girl
>i tell him that i dont know how to
>he asks if i really wanna know the secret about being Chad
>of fucking course
>he gets me a drink, its the chad potion
>drinks it
>instantly felt my muscles growing and my brain getting smaller
>fuck lots of girls
>go home
>i forgot something at the end of the day: visit /r9k/
>just realized that chad potion made me lose my robot side and normie memes are starting to take place
>panics
>write this GT as i feel dumber and dumber just to warn you folks out there this:
DO NOT FALL FOR THE CHAD POTION MEME
random pic desu
There isn't a Chad potion and this is a shit thread. Saged.
>>29419069
kek gud 1 op
>>29419099
>implies you know there isnt a chad potion
its just not accessable for us robots, chad gave it to me.
>no one tells you 'happy birthday' today because a week before you told everyone that you need some space to be alone
>no one tells you happy birthday because nobody but you knows that it's your birthday
>>29418627
>wanting people to tell you happy birthday
It's just an unnecessary formality that you're better off without. You should already know whether or not they care about you, you don't need a personally-delivered notification on an arbitrary day to confirm it.
Also
>having people in your that can tell you happy birthday
You're not a robot.
> no one tells you happy birthday because you have no friends and your family doesn't care
How do I deal with family who make fun of me all the time, even on my birthday?
>Birthday today
>Asked for one gift, Paper Mario Sticker Star on my DS
>Went downstairs
>Immeditely parents start singing 'happy mistakeday' to each other
>I pretend to laugh
>I open my present
>Have a warm smile because they got me what I wanted
>Thought it would be a nice day
>Dad smiles
>'Actually we got you one more gift'
>hands me a small box
>I open it intrigued
>It is a fucking dirty old vaginal sex toy
>he laughs and says 'you wanted paper Mario, so we also got you a rubber peach'
>they both start making fun of me for never having a girlfriend
this is such bullshit.
I can't have one dayh without this shit.
Your parents seem pretty funny OP. Maybe they'll get you Dongky Kong next
>wanting sticker star
Your parents knew about your shit taste in vidya and joked at your expense about it. Get rekt OP.
>>29418609
Exactly. If OP asked for an ACTUALLY GOOD Paper Mario Game like the Thousand Year Door, maybe his parents would've respectfully got him it.
What makes you rage?
Nothing pisses me off more than attractive girls in their early 20's who share this kinda shit on facebook. They will never fucking understand how such a predicament actually feels.
>inb4 normiebook
>>29418394
I just ignore this people
I'm too old/tired for giving a fuck about normies
>>29418394
This chick would kill herself before she let a guy like us treat her the way she wants
That's the fucking truth
>>29418394
If I hated everyone who said or did something stupid, I'd hate a lot of people.
I don't really have the energy to hate that much.
have you had yours today?
nah im a vegetarian
>>29418301
yes i had them at lunch and ill make them again at night
also why are chicken tendies a meme? they genuinely taste very good
>>29418301
Had a chick Fil a biscuit for breakfast, then had a publix chicken tender sub for lunch. Guess what's on the dinner menu
>Tfw from a side angle you look like a monster
>Tfw if you had a chin and good jaw you could be chad
>1 chance at life and born with no chin
Fuck this, what did I do to deserve this? All because this damn bone didn't grow I will not be able to get girls FUCK THIS REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
FUUCKSS
AAHHHHREEEEEEEEEEEEEE
ENOUGH R
be happy r9k that you dont have a girlfriend.
you will never have to feel the torment of losing her
>>29417868
lmao OP rekt
>>29417868
Better to have loved and lost then never to have loved at all
Your pain in temporary, soon you'll get over it and look back on the good times you had
Loneliness is nothing but bad times
>>29417868
That ain't so bad. Now girlfriend drama that's something I rather not have.
Let it all out, brothers.
Are there people in the world who have never worked retail or fast food in their lives? Because the way they treat the people behind the counter sometimes is abhorrent. There's not a hint of empathy.
God damn, sometimes I which I could have all the difficult customers spend one day on the other side of the counter...
I applied to a fast food place and they called me back and left a message about my availability and scheduling me for an interview. I'm scared to call them back aaaaa lend me your strength
been working in retail for 3 years. it made me racist, sexist and hate democracy. when i think about all these idiots setting the rules for my life i want to run.
how did it all turn out like this? why cant we all be nice to one another?
>>29417710
>tfw the human resources lady just called me
>tomorrow is my first day on McDonalds
I-I'm going to c-cry ;_;
I bought a venus flytrap for my room today but I'm scared that it will shrivel in 3 or 4 months.
Any anons out there who know how to keep it healthy?
Plant theme: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z9D71pQaTnc
>>29417673
Venus fly traps normally don't last that long
Even if they manage to get a steady supply of insects to eat, they still don't last too long
If you're looking for a plant that can last for years, you'll have to look elsewhere
>>29417673
This retarded ass AMERICAN fucking thread again.
Fuck off.
Quit shitting up the Board with your country's shitty ass threads.
NOBODY HERE GIVES A FUCK ABOUT YOU, OR YOURE STUPID ASS PLANT.
Lol, fuck America.
In Canada, we don't shove our shit down everybody else's throats on a daily basis.
Ha, you fat fucks probably shovel lard by the bucket load down your fat gullets.
I think you retarded fucks constantly push for this kind of stupid shit because you don't want to admit that CANADA and EUROPE are better than you.
Lol, didn't you guys have a shooting just a few days ago?
Hahah, stupid fat fuck Americans getting kill and bled out on the streets like the pigs you are.
Hahaha, literally the most refreshing thought in my mind. Dead Americans.
You people are bred and reviled everywhere, unlike us, where Europe admires us for upholding the superior ways of socialism, and dealing with your bull shit on a daily basis.
Canada is much better than your """"""country""""""" will ever be, and always will be?
Who has FREE healthcare?
That's right, CANADA.
Who has a better standard of living?
That's right, CANADA.
Who's people are happier and can walk around without fearing for their lives?
That's right, CANADA.
Who's country has hotter women?
That's right, CANADA.
American women are sluts, plain and simply. They are shat out by their pig ass mothers and go around spending the first 12 years of they're lives fucking everywhere and everything, before becoming porkers.
All of your mothers are FAT COWS.
Listen here you STUPID fucks, this show is dog shit because it caters the the weak minded AMERICAN
Literally fuck off the end of my BIG. CANADIAN. DICK.
Suck my syrup, fags.
>>29417673
Feed it your cum. It will live in constant shame, but it's better than shriveling up and dying.
Hey, neets like me with a phone! Hate going outside? Hate having a job? Need money for figures of waifus? All you need to do is click that link, download apps for points. You can delete them right after you're done. I've claimed over 30$ in a month doing in my spare time. No time to waste frog poster! http://freemyap.ps/f52c68fa
Here's evidence that I have earned money doing this.
>>29417621
This works! My dick has increased in size! Thank you based anon!
>>29417672
Anything for an anon with a huge cock.
It seems to explain a lot.
http://researchautism.net/publications/4067/assessment-and-treatment-of-foot-shoe-fetish-displayed-by-a-man-with-autism.
http://www.myaspergerschild.com/2009/02/my-teenaged-son-with-aspergers-goes.html
>>29417414
Holy fuck those feet are perfect
Seems like 90% of this board is autistic.
>>29417597
I think it's pretty accurate.
Femanons, what do you think your life would be like if you were the last woman on earth?imagine that all the other females died because of some kind of virus and you were the last one.
Probably a lot of forced child bearing I guess.
>>29417358
youd love it, wouldnt you?
>>29417367
I wouldn't love it, but I also wouldn't try to resist it. I wouldn't want it on my shoulders to have been the one to doom the human race.
I WANT TO FUCK A GIRL
I WANT TO FUCK A HUMAN GIRL
ILL HELP YOU TELL THE WORLD
ANON WANTS TO FUCK A HUMAN GIRL
>>29417234
You disgusting degenerate
>comment not original
>>29417234
So much frustration in your post. Are you sure you dont want to make sweet love to a boy? Maybe you are not getting what you want because you are wanting the wrong thing?
>mfw a cheeky 420 blaze it out back of mummy's whilst she's out and chilling after a shitty 20 hour a week on minimum wage wageslave sesh
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z7hJ4VzA0Yk
>mfw I'm past the point of even pretending to hide the fact that I smoke everyday
How interesting that I found this thread. Do you guys ever feel guilty about smoking?
>>29418232
what? no, bullshit. i dont feel any guilt about anything i love.
I think Kim Dae-han doesn't get enough recognition here.
>best thing he did was being a taxi driver
>was mostly unemployed and angry because of it
>was unemployable because was partially paralyzed by a stroke
>was depressed
>admitted wanting to kill himself and take others with him
>set fire to a subway train with people in it
>people tried to stop him but failed
>killed 192 and injured 151
>walked out of this (but caught by police)
>died in prison one year later & the cause is unknown
Pic related
wow, sounds like a real badass OP; my new hero;)
>>29416709
meh, he was already 50. What did he lose in the process?
>>29416709
>the cause is unknown
Sexy.
![Flytrap[1].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/K49UsZ6.jpg "Flytrap[1]")
