Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 2935. page
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How much money would it take for straightbots to suck a dick?
For me... maybe 10 thousand dollars
depends on the dick, anywhere from $100 if a cute boy or trap really wanted me to suck his or her dick from some reason to $5000 for a old stranger. I would not succ someone who looked or smelled disgusting or had a disgusting cock
>>28555274
I dunno maybe 70 bucks
>>28555297
>>28555309
You would suck a million dicks for a dollar you fags
fucking fags ruining my thread!
>tfw too old for onee-san
>tfw too old for your parents to hire a babysitter
>tfw too old to get a high school girl to tutor you
>tfw all the girl you know are younger/less mature
All the things I will do if I could be 10 again...
Tell me I'm not the only one who fucked up his childhood
>>28555207
You're not Anon...
You're not ;_:
I wish for a teacher or milf or just generally older woman to coddle me, make love to me and do all that "ara ara" stuff
but then I realise I'm no longer a kid, just another unattractive, underweight, hairy, autistic loser
>>28555207
how old are you?
can I come over and babysit you anyways?
can I also get babysitting wages?
we can pretend its your childhood again and enjoy things only from that time (music, movies, and games)
while I'd make the move on you. but instead we'd be two grown ass adults probably in your parents house, but hey, its what you can get.
then later i'd take atvantage of you for some hardcorecuddles
>Too old to be a shota
>Not too old for a Christmas Cake or milf gf
>Neither will happen
>Middle aged man comes into the surgery
>Has been gardening out in the sun all day
>Top layer of skin starting to peel off
>Wants me to give him some Vaseline
>Give him a lethal dose of morphine instead
>>28555187
You're doing God's work, anon. Fuck the normie gardencucks.
>>28555187
Every time OP. Every time I see this thread I laugh.
Now I can fuck his garden up with no chance of repercussions
*cracks knucles*
Time to get to work!
>saturday night
>get shitfaced drunk alone
>drink a bit more
>wake up out of it
>walk to the local and get a greasy breakfast.
>watch youtube videos for 2 hours
>drive to the sydney cbd and get a greasier lunch
>drink a cider on the drive home to fix the vice grip headache
>get home and drink a 6 pack and watch the footy
every weekend through footy season for the past 3 years.
anybody else like a weekend routine of nothingness?
One of the things I like to do most is banging whores.
I go out and I bang a lot of whores.
>>28555050
Why do Asian girls with nice legs need to be mounted and bred by me?
>Pic related
unf. <3
Tick tock,
Wagecuck!
How are you spending your first day of freedom, my wagie?
>>28555018
I enjoy pissing in your food and drinks.
Just thought you should know.
>>28555018
>first day of freedom
I plan on spending the whole day tending to my garden. It's the only thing in my life that calms me down. It's the only thing that isn't disappointing or upsetting me.
I'm going to use my MONEY that I got from my JOB to go paintballing with my GIRLFRIEND and some of her guy friends. Then I'll use some more of my MONEY to treat everyone to a nice dinner while you sit your fat lonely NEET ass at home shitposting.
Toodles, NEETykins :)
Community gardeners are real life super heroes! They work hard to make sure you have a nice place to play while providing us with country fresh vegetables! Next time you see your community gardener, make sure to thank them and shake their hand!
>>28554983
>Gardencucks so butthurt from the garden destruction thread, they try to spread their normie propaganda in a new thread
why the hell is r9k full of garden threads? who's the shill?
DUDE WHAT THE FUCK IS WITH THIS GARDEN SHIT ALL OVER R9K HOLY SHIT
>Hi! I'm afraid that I'm a bit lost. You look like a really nice guy, maybe you can help me, I heard there's a cabin nearby where people can stay for the night, could you guide me to it?>this is a very original thread
>>28554791
sure, but only on one condition.you have to help me destroy the cabin garden after we leave.
>>28554791
no fuck of whore
you forgot vital context fag
>tfw cute twink friend fell asleep in my bed
Two things I find disgusting, lesbos and closeted fags like you that act normal to make friends so you can try to kiss them
>>28554800
>not wanting to genuinely be someone's friend and to kiss them at the same time
>not wanting to kiss everyone you meet
pleb
you need to loosen up
>>28554768
>tfw no penguinz0 bf
I've never seen a more perfect metaphor for "the sexodus".
The mouse is a non-chad male. The food is a non-obese, non-retarded girl, and the hand is sexual liberation.
What exactly is happening to this here mouse? Can someone explain?
>>28554965
bump I'm curious as well
>>28554965
its either full or doesn't like the taste
Why do women read this kind of stuff?
I thought they didn't care as much about sex as us.
magazines like that are made to lure your ego in like a helpless baby
only works on stupid people though
>>28554587
Feminists think they're problematic because they promote being beautiful.
>>28554587
I've never seen anyone seriously read that shit outside of middle aged women, only just flip to the sex tips page for shits and giggles.
Do normies unironically find roasties attractive, or is it just a meme?
I just find it very hard to believe that men get turned on from seeing a pussy. I personally never have; it's always the other parts of the woman that are attractive.
Are normies just not willing to admit this for fearing of being labeled a faggot?
>>28554583
any clean non deformed pussy is a paradise for the five senses
>>28554583
i've always loved roasties/innies and like close ups of vagina, and have since i discovered porn at age 11
I unironically find them attractive.
Ugly fembots (below 4/10), what's the minimum for a guy you will settle for? Is 5/10 enough?
>>28554569
I'm not ugly but I'd like a chubby guy who has facial hair and a nice nose that's not small. Dick doesn't have to be big and in fact I find smaller cocks. Geeky guys are nice, guys who are kind of awkward but still really excited when having sex is great. Being hairy all over is nice and guys with full lips are wonderful.
Just be tall.
>>28554688
>Just be tall.
REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
GET THE FUCK OUT
FUCKING LEEEEEEEAVE
>>28554744
Sorry anon, if a guy is really caring I don't care about height. I'm just tall myself and feel awkward towering over guys
> when you know that religion is enabled in this age only because otherwise plebs would scream that their delusions are being taken away
>>28554527
>tfw even if God exists he's probably just a dick
Why is he deserving of worship?
![2000px-Transhumanism_h+_2.svg[1].png](https://i.imgur.com/Ggka0oy.png "2000px-Transhumanism h+ 2.svg[1]")
>>28554527
>when atheists say there is no god and you realize it's the equivalent of someone saying he has no parents, he just randomly appeared on earth
>>28554539
people who are angry/dislike god don't realize that we can bring dead people back to life and become immortal with science, technology, and the help of artificial intelligence
Pottery happens (ain't gonn explain shit) and your consciousness suddenly gets transferred into pic-related's body.
What do you do?
>>28554504
Id fuck endless dicks and whore myself all out
>>28554504
Put on some decent clothes, hug my father, go to bed, quit my job at the strip club then enroll at uni to study law.
>>28554504
>inb4:
>masturbate
>feel boobs all day
>fuck chad/BBC
I GOt REJECTED BY A FaT GIRl fml
until someone nuts up and assassinates justin trudeau, canadians are subhuman to me.
>>28554443
How did he even get into position of power? He's a fucking prancing faggot
Is it because he's somewhat attractive? Is Canada this gay now?
>>28554443
But AC is anti-feminist, doesn't he know?
![EjQPACg2[1].png](https://i.imgur.com/OfU7WV1.png "EjQPACg2[1]")
