Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 6874. page
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Somebody please talk to me
I'm on a fair bit of MDMA and I'm feeling pretty lonely
Hi anon.
Cheer up anon.
>>25274078
Hello anon
Thank you very much.
How are you today?
Lets have a wonderful day OP! You're wonderful all on your own, you don't even need us!
Guys, normies have it worse because people actually want to be with them. Haven't you heard?
How in any way shape or form is she saying she has it worse than us.
People who think maniac pixie dream girls are real deserve to never have a gf.
>>25274095the only people who think manic pixie dream girls exist are girls who think they're manic pixie dream girls[/spoilers]
>implying guys aren't allowed to have a type.
>>25274134
Maniac pixie dream girl isn't a type.
It's a Hollywood creation designed to oppress good goyim like yourself.
>She told me you'll never be alone
Don't worry about it, anonito familia.
>>25274038
>told me she loves me
>gets distant, bails on me out of nowhere instead of talking it out
>tfw can't feel my face when I'm with her
I have. Tired of not losing my virginity so went ahead and got an escort. Got it over with and since then been with about 10 escorts for the past 2-3 years. Never looked back. Best escort Ive been with was pornstar Abigaile Johnson.She was expensive (got 2 sessions with her) but worth it.
tldr having a gf is overrated, go for an escort
>>25274010
Whatever man i want greentext stories now
I want some stories. Is it awkward/whats the usual rate
>>25274010
Any escort worth having would likely cost two years' worth of my hobby budget, and I'd much rather spend that money on things that last rather than a one hour experience.
Escorts are a viable option if you're one of those robots who can't get sex the normal way despite having a good job and plenty of extra money or being wealthy from family, but it does nothing for those of us who are NEET as well because of our issues. There might be some people who collect NEETbux and still have their expenses covered and could afford to blow their money on escorts, but I think those are a tiny minority.
Alrighty ladies and gentlemen. As someone who lost their V about a month ago, I felt compelled to make this. If you've done it, post the age you were and circumstances of which you first did it. If not, post the closest you came to losing it. no negativity pls
(OP here)
1/2
>be 18, aspiring MtF, sub/beta, bi, live with parents, still closeted and look boymode. education and income both questionable
>live in most uninteresting suburb in america
>talk with friend who is dom female, who raves about okcupid
>decide to sign up, what the hell
>make 100% honest profile and start to fill out questions
>"Are you a virgin?"
>click yes
>three days in - hardly any messages besides a creepy dude dtf
>decide to shell out money for it like the tool that I am
>get advanced membership - get special search parameters etc
>search for someone who likes subs/shy people who isn't a creepy old dude dtf
>find one
>asian nonbinary girl
>polyamorous
>asexual but likes to give other people sexual experiences
>has soft spot for "cute transfemmes"
>send message
>"hey what's up" etc etc
>expect the worst
>get message back
>some small talk and then..."you're a virgin?" followed by "are you looking for a trustworthy relationship?"
>yes and yes
>more small talk then "would you like your first time to be with me? another nonbinary person?"
>accept and we exchange numbers
>next night I'm nervously driving to a coffee shop in the city to meet her
>take tiny swiss army knife with me in case I'm going to get jumped
>reach destination
>text "I'm here"
>nearly jump out of my skin when I hear my name
>turn around
>she's just as her profile said
>I'm so shy I can barely speak, which she finds cute
>we find out the coffee shop is closed
>share a laugh, and sshe invites me back to her place
>jump again when I hear someone else in the apartment
>think "Jesus shit oh god I'm going to get mugged and die"
>it's just her roommate
>roommate leaves so it's just me and her
>asks me if I need anything
>nervously ask if she has any green tea so I can calm down
>relax over green tea
>talk for a bit, she's too sweet
>she asks me if I'm up for anything tonight
>I timidly nod
>she leads me back to her room
>we sit down, she takes her top off
>I'm shaking with nervousness
>she reaches over and initiates first base
>blush so hard
>realize this is the first time I've made out and I don't know what to do
>she guides me through it
>eventually the clothes come off, she gives me oral and then puts a condom on me and we start the main course
>when I enter her, I work up the courage to jokingly say, "in this moment, you are without a doubt the best person I've ever had sex with"
>she laughs and we keep going
>my mtf meds have made it tougher to keep it up but she's patient
>bow chika wow woooow
>I'm so completely immersed in the moment, so close, everything is incredible
>finish round 1 and she asks if there's anything I would like to try
>I nervously ask her about 30 minutes in if she would be willing to tie my hands
>she agrees, we come up with some shoelace or something and do the tying
>bow chika wow woooow
>after an hour or two we move to the cuddling/pillow talk
>she holds me in her arms and tells me I did a great job and that I'm really cute
>blush so hard I can feel my face turning hot
>we make a post sex dinner together of ramen
>eventually my mom starts to worry and I have to go
>she gives me a kiss goodbye
>happiness
>is
>tfw i found a black girl that likes me but i'm scared of getting intimate with her because she told me she had a couple boyfriends before and i am the first dude from another race she is dating
>tfw she is used to BBC's and i don't know if my average dick can satisfy her
Black girls don't care about bbcs. Only curious white women and mentally ill Asian men and white men are obessesed with them.
>oh boy another trap thread
goddamit won't these fags ever leave?i want my board back
i want feels thread back
please someone end all this faggotry please!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
>>25273949
What's wrong Anon? Are you scared that you might enjoy it if you would just let yourself?
>>25274023
what type of camera is that?
is it a 3200?
>>25274197
>>25274023
anybody got an answer for that camera yet? i really want to know.
>girls meet me
>"how wow you're such a Chad!"
>"you're the most Chad guy I've ever met"
>Still can't get laid
Lol girls don't know r9k terminology silly
If they tell you that personally, they are aware, switch tactics opium
>>25273963
They know everything including Pepe, beta uprising, spaghetti, Steven Pinker, etc
What happened to the world?
>go to America
>get shot
>go to Europe
>get blown up in Paris, go to hospital and contract MRSA
>go to China
>choke on smog
>go to middle east
>get recruited intoba Jihad then get carpet bombed then
>go Australia
>shitpost then get bitten by rabid relative
>go to Latin America
>get abducted by a drug cartel
Why did the world go.to shit in the 00's
>>25273923
The 90s were unnaturally good, not the other way around
>>25273940
Thays what im saying anon, the 00's were shite, and are sjw riddled in the 2010+
It's always been like that, with just a few short lived periods of decency (or at least a facade of it) in a few isolated areas throughout history.
Peace is an illusion. Beauty is a lie. Only the edge is real.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wpsj3zP5p48
>56 girls died because of using pads
>One Single pad for the whole day because of the chemical used in Ultra Napkins. Which converts liquid into gel. It causes cancer in bladder & uterus. So please try to use cotton made pads and if you are using ultra pads, Please change that with in 5 hours, per day, at least.
If the time is prolonged the blood becomes green & the fungus formed gets inside the uterus & body.
Dude who fucking designed girls? They need a fucking patch, pronto.
What the fuck seriously. Do comatose females menstruate? So many things I don't know about women, shit man. I thought some of the gender alienation shit was a meme but really. It's like a different fucking species.
Can you imagine not knowing half of this shit in a position where it could prove fatal?
Like lol why'd she die?
Her twat got mad.
Poor abominations tbqh man.
>>25273910
> 56 girls died because of using pads
I hoped they were more
>>25274132
hope they were more then what?
>>25274169
more dead girls
All women deserve to die
Would you wear 4chan clothing out in public? Are you wearing some now?
>>25273796
yes, I am in my filthy underpants.
>2015+0.98
>not wearing memes
>>25274060
Unknown Pleasures isn't memes. Jesus. However, not getting a shirt with just the image is autism. It should just be the radiowaves, and it should be white with black background.
Why do you just an insecure weeaboo black gf? They are the best kind of woman. You're going to spend 2016 single when you could have one of these cuties.
>>25273777
how do I aquire??
>>25273969
this
explain
>>25273969
Go to your nearest anime con. You will be on easy mode if you're Asian.
Normalfags get in here and share your lame advice.
How does one flirt? Talking work and school environments, so none of that lewd club stuff.
>>25273767
>getting advice from normalcucks
expect a lot of
JUST BE YOURSELF
BE CONFIDENT
LOL JUST SETTLE DOWN FOR LESS
DONT BE AUTISTIC
just read online carefully sort your shit out set up some goals and challenges for yourself, make a schedule connecting this shit with your life and you're good senpaitachi
compliments, be funny without being weird, eye contact, smile
>>25273833
That is not flirting you scum
Flirt (Verb) : to court triflingly or act amorously without serious intentions; play at love; coquet
>What job experience do you have?
>>25273753
I have a doctorate in being a loser.
>>25273753
He was a handsome sonabitch isn't he
What's a "boypussy"?
A young male's hairless anus that has seen some penetrative action.
>>25273739
It's a boy's pussy. the clue is basically in the name.
However, it has to be the pussy of a *cute* boy. This is very important. I he isn't cute then it isn't boypussy, it's just plain old mancunt.
>>25273739
That's what boys use as practice for girls.
![B7J_wdICIAAXBGr[1].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/juXgMz6.jpg "B7J wdICIAAXBGr[1]")
