Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 1891. page
- Home
- Board: /r9k/ - ROBOT9001
- Reading: Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 1891. page
>tfw it wasn't a fart
>fart
>feels like you shit yourself
>go to toilet and check
>asshole spotless
>pants spotless
>no smell
>go take a shit
>just fart
>still whipe ass and flush the toilet just in case
>ass brewery max overload
>sprint to john
>engage in shitstorm
>feel violated by spicy bits of previous bad decisions
>rapevictim.png
>decide enough is enough
>I am a man damnit
>wiping begins
>one, two, three, several layers later still poop
>when will it end lord
pic related
why do femanons enjoy anal sex so much?
theyre faggots in disguise
there are no females here
>>29148829
The vaginal and anal wall barrier is thin enough that anal sex will also cause vaginal stimulation to an extent. If they already enjoy the sensation of penetration then it will be like they are getting one and a half dicks.
>when you were younger and used to jerk off to the wikipedia pages on sex acts
Basically I invited my oneitis to come chill with me and a friend tomorrow and were gonna stream a movie because im an idiot and didn't realize this could get awkward. Is this considered an e-date? I like her a lot, but we live across the world from each other and she just recently got a boyfriend. I let her know that I like her and I don't really know how she feels about me, I just don't want things to get awkward, so will you guys show up tomorrow in my rabbit and make small talk and shitpost with us?
Watching a movie is extremely awkward. I never have anything witty to say. I never laugh out loud. I never know if it's better to stare at the tv or look down at my phone.
>>29149241
this is gonna be an online stream so less awkward maybe. You guys could show up and give me support if you wanted to
>>29149634
Dude, im not trying to be a dick but you have to be hardcore pathetic to think that streaming a movie with a girl on the other side of the world, who HAS A bf, matters. Move the fuck on and have some self respect. Betas gonna beta...
Is it true that we swallow spiders when we sleep?
>>29148762
i swallow dicks when i sleep
I think those girls swallow something else, if you know what I mean
>>29148762
No there's just one guy who eats allot of spiders so that skews the average.
Chubby, fat people do not listen to morons saying get in shape. It ruined my life put me in debt due to medical bills.
>chubby fat dude
>flab everywhere
>want to end it all
>no gf
>no exercise
>one day im watching anime
>i see this 'one punch man' thing
>binge watch every episode
>never been this motivated before
>decide to dedicate every single day of becoming like Saitama
>100 pushups
>100 situps
>100 squats
>10km run
>everyday
>do this and push myself for a week
>pushing thru all the pain and warning signs
>thinking im going to make it bros
>disaster strikes
>8th day i feel my legs give in
>never feel such pain like this before
>thinking must be spasms/muscle pain
>cant lift my arms
>whole mid section is on fire
>call 911 by google voice
>they take me to the hospital
>docter tells me ive permanently damaged cartlidge/some muscles around my knee
>cant walk anymore
>wheelchair bound
>tells me muscle fibres in my arms are shot and will take months to recover through physio
>mid section damage to my kidneys and abdominals
>need lots of surgery
>got strength in my arms again after a month
>still in wheelchair
>fuck anime
>fuck saitama
>its all lies.
Did you start off slow and work your way up?
Saitama was just a normal guy though, motivated by failing at employment and a monster lobster. He wasn't a fatfuck, so his anime body could put up with the moderate training routine.
>Read Hajime no Ippo
>I'm gonna make the punching bag fly up too!
>I'm gonna do 3 sprints during my jog
>damage ligaments in wrists, tore tendon off the bone in right hand
>get tendinitis in both knees, can't even bend them without some pain
>had to get surgery And still goin through physical therapy
Fuck manga too
>ordered a new charger for my laptop last Friday because mine broke
>laptop is dead and I have important work on it that's due very soon
>charger arrived at one of my local post offices this morning (don't know which one)
>have to wait two more days for them to deliver it
>it was supposed to be at my fucking door yesterday
>deadline rapidly approaching
I HAVE IMPORTANT WORK I NEED TO DO FUCK YOU MAILMAN SCUM
>>29148639
You could type it out on your phone and work it out in the library.
>>29148726
It's unfortunately a Word document on my laptop. I'm not re-typing over 6,000 words on my phone, familia--there's simply not enough time and I don't remember them.
Fucking postal normies screwed me over again. Them and the Chinese mini-normies that made my shitty laptop charger. Everyone's against me.
>>29148859
Hmm that does suck very much. This might sound ridicoulous but maybe you could try building an improvised charger? And then quickly send the document to your mail/ person you need to send it to mail's. I read lemons might work but you would probably need a few for that.
what went wrong?
this guy had it all...
>>29148540
That's /fa/ as fuck
rip supreme gentleman
>>29148580
>looks retarded
Hey, you're right
Virginity is disgusting and you should loose it.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=njYzYddH1Yo
>tfw not a virgin
Must be stressful having that to deal with
Her mouth is HUGE
>>29148535
Anyone who thinks sex is a big deal is a legit autist, it's a fun way to kill some time and cum.
>trying to control myself to only fap once every 2 days
>lurk r9k
>lewd posts everywhere
STOP TEMPTATING ME YOU FUCKING FAGGOTS
REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
>tfw thinking about anons big healthy cock
>>29148875
Are yougaybot?
>>29148875
>health is my fethish
REEE GET OUT, I'M TRYING TO IMPROVE MY LIFE
In America, being attracted to one of these is perfectly normal in the eyes of the law
Can you guess which one??
>>29148524
bestiality isn't legal either anon
I don't get what point you're trying to make.
Are you implying once every girl turns 18 she automatically gains 100 lbs and gets terrible tattoos/piercings?
You would think that anchor would trigger her whaling ptsd
>Berserk+Ranma 1/2
>Lead is like Guts, but also girl who turns into a man when splashed with blood
>Gets her shit pushed in by the Griffith/Akane type character who you find is the opposite, a man posing as a woman but keeps it a secret
>Story centers around the idea that you can change genders all you want, revenge will come for you if you invite it regardless, or whatever the fuck.
>>29148444
YuruYuri and Himouto! Umaru-chan
I feel like this would be humorous
Mayoiga + Kiznaiver
>bunch of people go on the tour to Nanaki village because of their past experiences
>when they arrive they are connected by their wounds like in Kiznaiver (physical and psychological) but they only gradually realize this
>whenever someone sees their nanaki (something related to their traumatic past) the pain gets transmitted to everyone
>through this they learn about each other and go from suspicion/outright hostility like in the middle episodes to later episodes of the actual Mayoiga anime to being supportive
>they conquer their fears together and leave Nanaki village
Sakura Trick+Kaiji
It's the same show but Yuu is replaced with Kaiji
Am I the only one watching youtube at 1.5x speed almost all the time?
i just can't watch videos at normal speed anymore when I know i can save time.
i still watch music videos at normal speed. come on I'm not a weirdo
you get a bump
I agree OP, I've actually been training my reflexes by watching them in 2x speed. Sometimes I slow it down if it becomes incomprehensible but I like to work on processing information faster.
>watch all my anime at 2x speed
>able to watch sll the anime forvthe season and catch up on my backlog
Feminism was established so as to allow unattractive women access to the mainstream of society
>>29148383
It's the other way around
Duels were a thing for a reason and I actually want them back
All feminism did was destroy society's artificial restrictions set up to ensure everyone got a mate.
This is a good thing.
Now, ugly/beta men won't breed because women will all go for Chad.
In a few generations people like us will have been bred out of the gene pool. I know it sucks now, but take comfort in the fact that not too many people after us will have to endure this lonely fate thanks to the loosening of sexual mores.
>Talk to girl on OKC
>Ask her if she thinks men or women have it harder
>She says women
>Because of "standards"
>I explain that men have a higher suicide rate
>They also statistically drop out of college more and are more likely to be virgins into their 20's
>She stops replying
>Won the argument but still alone
you faggots whining about not finding jobs. Use your brains
>be me
>day one
>ask a company to work for free
>work free for three months
>pretend i got an offer somewhere else
>immediate get a job offer
>>29148364
(((((((((((You)))))))))))you have muted 2 unoriginal because seconds
no company is going to take a chance to hire somebody that could risk thousands of dollars being wasted on shitty decisions
>you faggots whining about not finding jobs.
>just give someone 3 months of labor for free lol
>TFW started playing with my butt
Don't knock it till you try it robots
>>29148348
It's another 'lgbt shills in my r9k' episodei play with my butt too
>>29148348
It's meh, even with weed
I prefer just jacking it with lube
I prefer to play with mybrother'sbutt.
