Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 2594. page
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>so, tell us something about yourself, anon
>what are your hobbies, anon?
>what are you gonna do this summer, anon?
>>28746888
oh... uh... i guess I'll uh...
>uh yeah, okay. So what are you doing Stacy? :)))
And then no-one talks to you ever again.
>>what are your hobbies, anon?
I like guns and hiking
>awkward silence and blank stares
I mean what the fuck? When they tell us to get hobbies they just mean socially acceptable hobbies.
>>28746888
>>so, tell us something about yourself, anon
I am 20 years old and a chemistry student
>what are your hobbies, anon?
Bouldering, hitting the gym, running, playing video games, and listening to music
>what are you gonna do this summer, anon?
Might do an internship
Thought about doing some classes so I graduate faster
Not sure yet
This is one of my favorite games
>>28746812
>ywn play KoTOR for the first time again
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IffTBJhrfHk
Started playing the second one yesterday. So far it looks exactly like the first - might have been disappointed if I got it when it came out but I right now I don't mind
I picked the german-looking qt
>>28746921
I've never played it. Should I?
>Hey, we met a year ago at a party, you were, like, really drunk, haha!
>You probably don't even remember me, but I remember you, I don't think I'll ever forget that night...
>Anyway, say hello to your newest family member!
Why is my baby white?
Checkmate roastie cunt
>implying i'd ever be invited to a party
>implying i'd some how get laid even if i got invited to said party
>implying she'd let me go raw if i got laid
>>28746800
Bitch you're in a wheel chair so that means your pussy don't work. Also I'm a dark skinned nigga so why the fuck is that ugly ass baby pure white?
gtfo you whore
Bought some of this today to revise for finals
Any robots with experience of it, or similar study drugs?
Was it effective?
Side effects?
Actually useful?
interested, bump
origami
garbage didn't do anything to me
I still have a lot I suppose one of these days I'll just take the entire bag and see if it affects me instead of doing decent dosages
Just stay on the work you are doing. If you think "oh I'll just go and browse 4chan for 10 mins" you will be on there for a solid 4 hours feeling like it's nothing.
Is it wrong for women to fake orgasms?
>>28746788
It's a sign that she's trying to please her partner at a sacrifice to her own pleasure, which is ultimately destructive to the relationship.
The man thinks that his women is content while the women grows CONTEMPT for him for not pleasuring her, even though he's unaware of it. She might resort to cheating or the relationship will simply stagnate because of her feelings.
Ideally two people enter a relationship if they're both sexually attracted to each other but many women have to settle for men who do not sexually please themthis is offset by income or other factorsso faking orgasms is inevitable.
I would end a relationship of any length if orgasms were faked.
I've done it before and I'll do it again. I don't care what your reasoning is.
I would rather she not cum at all, but faking as orgasm would piss me off more than actually having an orgasm.
How does kissing work? Like, what is the actual specific process of how to kiss? And what does it feel like?
This shit seriously boggles my mind. I feel worse about being kissless than I do about being a virgin.
>>28746724
Isn't as good as you'd think, mostly going in and out with tongue
>>28746724
The first time a girl asked me to kiss her she was fucking aggressive. I forgot that you're supposed to breathe so I pulled back after 5 seconds gasping for air, then told her I was okay and ready to go for another round. Made out with her for like 2 hours in 3 different parts of my apartment. Time sure flies when you have a girl with you.
If you're not a germaphobe then you'll be sticking your tongue in hers. If you're not into the girl then it doesn't feel good either. I remember my mouth feeling almost cold after I stopped making out with her because I was so used to having her mouth there after 2 hours.
Just remember to turn your head and CLOSE YOUR EYES. I forgot to close my eyes when I kissed her and she told me it was creepy.
>>28746724
He doesn't know how to kiss!!! Enjoy dying a kissless virgin, creep. :D
Fembots, how stinky are your buttholes?
come on, I know there are at least some fembots here who can answer this. trannies don't count, though.
My boyfriend says it's incredibly strong but I still shove my fat stinky butt in his face cuz he's my little bitch boy and he totally loves it :3
>>28746960
can I see your fat stinky ass?
How many robots have watched this exquisite show about a fusion of /r9k/ and /g/?
>>28746681
>somebody who works at a security company doesn't know what a rootkit is
dropped
>implying /r9k/ can plan something like that, let alone set it in motion
>implying /g/ has even remotely the skills Elliot has
>>28746681
Good show for 15 year olds
any slavs posting? Poland here
is there a worse fate than being a slav neet with a personality disorder?
> no autismbux since they country is poor
> no girls who'd feel any pity for you since they all want a rich Chad (preferably from west EU or America), I'm literal trash in their eyes
> whole world looks down on us since we got fucked by soviets ater WW2
> almost impossible to get into military since its so poor and can only afford to take the best of the best
I wish I wasn't born desu senpai
no elo
>>28746623
yeah i live in the balkans and same shit desu, i don't understand why some westerners say shit like "hurr im gonna go to eastern europe and get a conservative wife" lmao girls here are so disgusting turbo whores it's crazy, they are 100 times worse than any western feminist girl because they are basically crazed apes
so glad i finished my shitty degree in uni, girls there were so awful, like they would make gagging noises and laugh when i pass them... jesus christ
don't know why you would want to join the army though, basically you give your life in the hands of someone else in the name of international jewish interests, not a good deal
basically if you aren't born in the west in 2016 there is no reason to live other than doing your best to move there
stop migrating to my country you fucks, i literally have 10 polish families living in my apartment block, fuck sake, bet they're all leeching benefits too.
HOW DOES IT FEEL YOU FAGGOTS ARE ALL VIRGINS STILL WHILE I LOST MY VIRGINITY LAST NIGHT AND FUCKED MY BITCH 6 TIMES IN ONE NIGHT
Truly the Tom Green of our generation.
>>28746557
"Billy Elliott" is my favorite movie ever.
I watch it everyday.
When I'm happy/on meds I also dance like my idol Billy while watching it!
In the end you can see him all grown up, he managed to become a renowned dancer in London, aWeSoMe!
>he's so lousy at sex he has to try 6 times before making his partner contempt
>he brags about it unironically on a samoan seashell collecting board
How the FUCK do you normies walk normally? Please tell me. Make the life of a fellow robot a little simpler.
>Walking around the kitchen, preparing breakfast
>(Roomate): "Dude why the fuck are you walking like that?"
>Walking at the streets, walk past group of girls
>4 seconds later they start realizing how i walk and start laughing
>look anywhere other than the ground while walking
>stumble
HELP ME HOW THE FUCK CAN I WALK?
>>28746535
You put one foot in front of the other m8.
its kind of hard to tell you what you're doing wrong when we don't have a visual example.
Like the other person said we need to know how you are walking first. That being said, I think when most people walk weird it's because they aren't moving their arms when they walk
Dear robots, time to share my life's story before I leave this board forever...
>be me, have normie childhood
>6 years in dad get diagnosed with cancer
>9 years old, 6 days before bday, me mom and aunt are shopping and preparing for 10th bday party
>mom gets a call, dad died
>shit hits the fan in the following weeks/months, court fights over inheritance because greedy half-sister made dad sign documents when he was incapable due to brain tumors
>become the kid who lost his dad, so most other kids start avoiding me
>end up faking illness to not have to go to school and spend time playing vidya/watching TV/reading books
>still get really good grades
>fathers death leaves me and mom always fighting and blaming eachother for stuff, dad was the peacekeeper of the family
>be 15, highschool time
>2 or 3 friends, be labelled the weird quiet kid
>skip 90% of lessons, always fake illness to get out of school, everyone knows I'm faking it. Vidya/TV/books as usual
>only show up for tests and mandatory stuff, still get good grades
>everyone in class hates me because of it, they complain to the teachers about it
>final year of highschool, some of the teachers are against me too, fail me on purpose so I would have to repeat the year
>fuckthisshitimouttahere.jpg
Cont.
>>28746348
Cont.
>switch schools last second, pass with good grades
>ended up smoking a lot of weed that summer
>be 19, uni time, end up studying chinese and japanese, because I love anime and the writing and laguage looks cool
>0 friends 2 months in, there were 2 guys that talked with me on a regular basis but that's it
>stop going to uni completely, smoke weed every day, the 1 of rare friends from high school is my weed guy
>mom situation same as always
>be 20, time to go uni again, this time physics
>full of optimism, this is my fresh start, time to make my life really mean something
>start out fine, try talking to people, all is well
>gather up courage to ask a shy lonely qt3.14 out, she says yes
>thiscantbereal.jpg
>things go well with her, making out on the couch in my room, we're both virgins and she says she isn't ready yet for more
>thats fine
>she was weird, like stare at the wall with no movement or sound for 30 mins straight, I'd say "Hello, anyone there?" and she'd say "Oh you were looking at me, I thought you were staring at the computer" I said "No, you more interesting to look at than the computer" and she'd say "Not true, the computer can do all the advanced math in a matter of seconds"
>christmas time, gf doesn't want to meet up, doesn't reply, is avoidant
>ihaveabadfeelingaboutthis.webm
>after holiday, I ask gf what's up
>she goes on a 30 minute speech on all that is wrong with me, and how imperfect I am, closing line is breaking up with me is as easy as solving a 3rd degree polynomial, there is exactly one solution
>bitchpls.avi, there is exactly 3 solutions to a 3rd degree polynomial, I thought to myself, but what I say is "People and relationships aren't mathematical functions", she says "I see them that way"
>Kthxbb
>feel extremely awkward about the whole situation, because we were classmates, and her father was a professor at one of the courses
Cont.
>>28746387
Cont.
>apply for university in a different country
>either I get in or I become an hero
>start abusing harder drugs like mushrooms,xtc,mdma,lsd,speed,cocaine etc while waiting for a reposonse from abroad
>only thing keeping me from killing myself is that small spark of hope I can leave all of this behind
>get letter in summer, I got accepted at one of the universities
>thereisagodafterall.jesus
>get to new country, meet other international students, everyone arrived in the past few days so nobody knows anyone, and is desperate to make friends
>end up getting more and more social, nobody is judging, because they are too scared of getting judged themselves
>slowly open up to people
>some judge me because of my drug past, a lot are okay with it
>tfw still virgin, but nobody knows
>try to gf a classmate... again, get shot down hard
>I should just stop trying I guess, I am unlovable and ugly
>fast forward to March 2016
>gave up on romantic pursuits all together, lifted a bit, did stuff that interested me, tried to an hero once but failed.
>>28746419
Cont.
>got invited a house party by a bunch of friends, they have a makeshift bar and they offered me a barshift because I used to bartend
>it's d day, I am not going to get laid or anything, so I jerk off 5 times that day
>bartenders get to drink for free
>decide I will just get shitfaced for free and do and say some stupid shit, just for my own amusement, I am beyond caring at this point
>end up blasting psytrance behind the bar and dacing to myself fueled by all the alcoholic passion while taking orders
>there is this 7/10 girl that keeps coming to the bar and tries to small talk with me, not sure what about, I was shitfaced
>after my barshift, I somehow end up sitting next to the bonfire with the bar girl
>we're just talking about the hosts and how we know them and other random stuff
>her friend comes out, and says "Please hook up with my friend she is single"
>wait whaaaa?
>I am so drunk a russian hobo would give me a medal made out of rat bones and vodka caps
>somehow end up in my apartment with her lying naked in my bed
>stophammertime.gif
>can't get it up because of too much alcohol and too much fap before the party
>she's cool with it, more than I am
>go to sleep
>try again in the morning
>almost but not quite, she's still way too cool with it
>think I failed big time and she won't talk to me ever again
>justanewitemtoaddtothelistoffailures.png
Cont.
Do you happen to wake up in the middle of the night incredibly fucking horny? Happened to me last night, and I always do incredibly stupid or disgusting shit, like pissing in a glass and drinking it, or sticking the 3DS stylus up my peehole. But last last night I crossed the like, I started fingering my ass and liking my fingers, the regret came sooner than I expected. I've washed my mouth like 8 times and the bad taste still doesn't go away.
>>28746306
i almost fucked my cat last night
>I started fingering my ass and liking my fingers
Not in that order, I hope.
>>28746433
He had a bad taste in his mouth after that.
He did it exactly in that order.
Daily Reminder that Men are LAZY AS FUCK when it comes to dating.
>WAAAAAAAHHHH I WANTA GF!!!!
They always complain about the friendzone and how women have more interest in dating a tube sock than them. Yet, wherever you ask them this one simple question they can't say SHIT:
"You want her? Well, what do YOU have to offer?"
"Umm... Umm... I'm nice, funny, I like to chill..."
LOL MF, PLEASE! Every fucking dude is nice, funny, and chill! A can of refried beans could be nice, funny, and chill!
These 23-year-old walking skidmarks have no job, no long-term goals, they're sexist, and they couldn't cook an omelet even if the eggs walked out the fridge and cracked themselves into a skillet.
Back when I was single, that question was always on my mind.
"WHAT the hell do I have to offer?"
I was eager to improve myself in the hopes that, if I did cross paths with someone special, I'd be a good enough version of ME to spark her curiosity.
So I went through the grind of school and work. I taught myself how to cook for my family and myself. I visited art galleries and restaurants and curated my own personal style. I took up photography and salsa dancing and invested hours and hours into my writing. I observed other problematic boyfriends and did the opposite of them, then I analyzed happy couples and took notes.
I constantly picked apart my problematic ways and replaced my fuck-ups with solutions. Even when I improved, I still didn't feel like I was entitled to anyone's time or patience.
Even now, I'm still trying to give my girlfriend a better me. I want nothing more than to marry this woman and have a family -- I NEED to be on top of this shit.
So when I see these lazy ass dudes, these sexist, boring, entitled BOYS with NOTHING TO OFFER, I can't help but laugh because, quite simply, they ain't shit.
Dudes will come out the womb and think they have the genetics to be a great man. No, jackass, you work towards that.
>think they have the genetics to be a great man. No, jackass, you work towards that
You work towards great genetics? Explain to me, please.
And yet you come on r9k...
>>28746284
Back to tumblr pls
>tfw no russian gf
i N E E D a russian gf
nothing else but a R U S S I A N gf
why are they so perfect ;_;
I also understand and can write/speak a fair amount of Russian since I started learning it beginning of 2016 but that was prior to my russian gf obsession.
Where is my russian gf?
>tfw dutch
>tfw dutch women fuck blacks and other shit tier
>tfw dutch women racemix
>tfw no russian gf who is proud to be white and is contaminated by multicultural racemixing bullshit ;_;
>tfw no russian gf
>tfw no russiantrap
>>28746223
They anal also anal enjoy anal sex (anal), anal gaping and crazy anal insertions.
I would anal love anal to have an anal Russian anal gf anal anal.
![1429661040510s[1].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/GuIH20N.jpg "1429661040510s[1]")
