Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 939. page
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nihilistic+ wicked sense of humor
need to find some purpose, how do i do that?
>>29610799
for me it's love and the reduction of suffering in all humans
>>29610980
how did you come to that conclusion.. ?
origami question
>>29610980
thats a pretty good goal
I hope you make it
>he masturbates to stock photos
How did you know I do this?
>>29610858
>those fake balloon tits
>that veiny arm
Jesus christ anon
>>29610894
Do you want a different one?
>tfw having a temporary blue collar job this summer
How the fuck do you faggots stand doing manual labor all your life? Thank god ill soon be a computer engineer
>>29610759
Dont be a bitch. It gets easier physically, and then there is no mental stress. Perfect for a student as a way of getting away from class and studying.
>>29610964
It's not physically exhausting
>no mental stress
Are you a mexican? It's pretty hard to understand blueprints and calculate shit
>>29610964
Britbong here
When I was doing my A-levels I did woodwork, got good grades because I had been doing it all throughout school
When I was at uni it got me a comfy job in a workshop making vintage style toys, only about 8 of us and we got cups of tea brought to us
old dude who owned it died though, RIP old fella
But yeah manual jobs are good to do when youre a student
Funny isn't it?
You're not laughing now!
>>29610708
Whats happening??
Ahh!
>>29610715
The farage barraged some EU cucks
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=SJzRa7HWVqs
>>29610715
The island full of monkey got mad and thought they could scare the EU by faking that they are leaving.
Welp surprisingly, enough old people voted to leave and now the UK is scared while their economic is about to get fucked.
Hell even France is higher ranked now thanks this
>tfw I'm watching my little bro become a robot
>tfw can't give him any advice or try to tell him what hes doing might not be good or else my feminazi whore stepmother will kick me out (im in college living for free currently)
>tfw he spends 8 hours a day on the tablet
>tfw he doesnt like sports or go outside (spends whole day in his underwear)
>didnt brush his teeth for a whole month once without telling anyone
>only showers every two days
>takes medicine for ADHD
>Can't spell, stupid in everything except math
>only friends are neighbors and it makes me cringe when he talks to them because he treats them in an assholeish autistic way
>obsessed with minecraft
>literaaly have listened to him watch minecraft ROLEPLAY youtubers
>his mother still sings to him at bedtime
>already has had a girl tell him hes weird and annoying
NOOOOO GODAMN YOU!!!! YOU LEAVE HIM THE FUCK ALONE GOD!!!!!!! HE DOESN'T DESERVE THIS SHIT AAAAUUUUUUUGGGGGGHHHHHHH
He's a hundred more times autistic than i was at that age, im so worried but holy shit i can see the memes forming
Do he has a father:?
It's a man job to prepare his kid for life. Most of us here didn't have a good father for this and your brother will become a robot or even a wizard.
I'm looking foward for his next threads here.
>>29610716
Yeah but my dad married a feminist, she literaaly just bought mortal kombat and started complaining about what the girls were wearing
Trust me, hes a total fucking cuck, he does absolutely nothing but follow her lead
Will you weak undedicated pieces of lazy autistic shits quit shitposting and fuck off my goddamn board that is /fit/? You come and ask dumb fuck questions and make >"muh betrayed by female" threads
You will never make it, you will always be skinnyfat, skinny or just fat, and ofcourse weak.
You couldnt even lift 225 pounds off the floor if your life depended on it, lmao.
>pic related
Its you: crying frogposters
>>29610590
>You couldnt even lift 225 pounds off the floor if your life depended on it, lmao.
Is that all your life amounts to?
How much you can lift off the floor?
hello faggots my name is john &c &c
>>29610616
225 deadlift is like the bare minimum to be considered a male pal
>Be me
>15 yo HS freshman
>Not a robot but also not a normie
>Friend organizes a surprise date for me and a qt
>no very pretty but really smart.
>We get along really well almost as if we were already friends
>Start talking constantly
>I love you anon
>OHshitiloveher.jpeg
>Go out a few more times, lets me kiss her once
>She is really catholic so thats a big step forward
>She has to leave to go to a church camp
>It lasts 2 weeks
>Decide Ill ask her to be my gf when she gets back
>Two weeks passes
>Three weeks
>After one month she textes me
>"Hi anon, I missed you :)"
>Excited I started talking as usual
>"Haha anon wanna see my new boyfriend?"
>Sends a picture of chad
>Handsome 19 yo guy
>Ooh tthats really good
>Dead inside
>They met in the camp and start a relationship
>Mfw
I wish I was making this up
>>29608831
Here. Fucking not original comment
>catholic
You dodged the bullet
>>29610562
>"Hi anon, I missed you :)"
I can imagine the innocent rush you must have felt hearing back from here after all this time, that eager 11pm bedside trepidation.
Only to get disappointed and have your whole internal back-and-forth dialogue about what your future might be like with this girl shattered, and your feelings toward her made stale and sour.
>family reunions
>>29610539
I don't go to any of them. I fucking hate my dumbass family and their disgusting offsprings
>christmas
Dont think so
>go to family reunion
>only spic there
>just go to my cousins room and chill in the beanie couch while he plays WoW
It's okay.
Guys, how do I become internationally recognised as a hero in one night like Snake did?
>>29610481
depends were r u
>>29610481
If your school ever has a shooting, shoot the guy that's shooting.
>>29610481
Shoot up a nightclub full of gay people.
Fembots, have you ever played with your butt?
What did you do, and did it feel good?
my bf fucked my ass yesterday
>>29610466
Fingering it feels good but it isn't enough to make me cum on it's own. I've always had anal fantasies but no bf so.
did the butt sharpie thing. felt like reverse pooping. unenjoyable
I don't want to be 20. I don't want to be 30.
Stop this ride, right now I'M JUST A KID
>>29610410
Getting old is fun
>>29610709
Broken glass is good to eat
Old rusty AIDS needles are nice to stick your dick in
Poop is food! F O O D!
>>29610410
>tfw 14 kid stuck in a 24 year old man's body
Feels good seeing one of our own win.
>>29610346
it's fascinating the way every language is having to come up with a term to describe unemployable adult shutins because of how common it's becoming
english: NEET
japanese: hikikomori
italian: bamboccioni
What other ones are there?
>>29610399
Hikkikomori doesn't mean unemployable though, in the modern age you can easily have a job and never leave home
>>29610399
>literature
>experimental cinema
poor, poor dad.
but that's what he deserves for having a child.
>tfw the only job you can get in as a pretend cuck
Couples do affairs, pay me to watch them fuck, and I have to pretend to be the woman's husband and say things like, "No, baby, please don't do this to me!" and the woman and/or the man yells at me and calls me a cuck and stuff.
For some of them, they say I'm the best person they've hired for this job because I cry everytime. I never found it too difficult because I just remember the times I've been cucked by life so much, and about how I'm still a KHHV (I thought maybe getting into weird sex communities would increase my chances of getting laid, but still no one wants me).
If you're wondering, this all started because some friends of my parents just straight up approached me and asked me to do it. I think they thought I resembled her husband, but I don't really see it other than we're both dorky looking. I guess that was close enough for her. And then she just started telling her friends and I got more work.
>>29610331
Do they let you jack off in the corner?
>>29610331
How old are you
How much do they pay you
How long have you been doing this
How much do you make in a year
How can I start doing this
Do you have pics to post.
Where the hell do you live
Do your parents know.
Why are you depressed, all you do is watch live porn and make money off of it you are literally a legend.
Weird, that's kind of similar to my situation. Do you get paid for it? For me it's a money thing.
Penis users, how does it feel to know there's an entire group of individuals who are better with orgasms than you are? Meet dildo users. They are better than you.
They understand hard cock better. They understand the basic principles of stimulation better. They know how induce orgasm better than you. They understand the pros and cons of dating real people (including STDs and expensive dinners) because with dildos you get to choose the shape/size. They can probably have multiple orgasms, too, since learning self-stimulation vastly improves productivity (and this really pisses penis owners off, since fucking was one thing you always wanted to do but could never really find any practical projects to work towards). Oh, and they probably know real penises better than you, too, since most advanced dildo users these days are ex-penis users who bought dildos years ago when they were less "user friendly."
At this point, a confident individual would admit to himself that he/she has a lot to learn about dildos and orgasms in general, but since you lack the self-esteem to do that you run back to penises, fake your orgasms and keep repeating to yourself "at least I can fuck a human. At least I can fuck a human." You're also probably very pleased about being able to face syncing with your horribly restrictive partner... because penises have somehow managed to convince you that being jizzed in is the most important thing to consider.
At this point you probably rationalize "well the only thing I know is penises, so I must be a penis expert!" as if knowing only one thing makes you an automatic expert, or that using dildos forces you to forget how to use penises entirely.
>>29610330
did not read a fuckin word
>>29610330
Shoving a rubber penis in your asshole doesn't make you a female or give you female orgasms.
I really wish trannies would stop shitposting on this board.
>tfw no Murderer gf
>>29610282
>she'll even enable your pedo degeneracy by defending your transgressions in court
>she'll topple prosperous african countries and create racewars and genocide if you're into that
>the men who she works with are not a threat to you because they all end up committing suicide
She is really proof that women can be as fucked up as men
Hillary is a literal cuck
