Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 1298. page
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>oh hey anon i forgot my homework and i heard you're really smart. do you think i could take quick peek pleaseee
>mfw people did this to me all the time
Being a nerdy looking white dude with glasses doesn't mean i'm smart. Hell i failed every single math course i took in high school.
>>29471509
Our society is so fucking bluepill you can't make the decision. It's preset for you unless you're fucking Steamy McThundercock.
Try #1
> You can suck my cock for it, bitch. haha!
> "OMG ANON IM CALLING THE FUCKING
> POLICE THIS IS SEXUAL HARRASSMENT
Try #2
>How about no?
> "OMG ANON IM CALLING THE FUCKING
> POLICE THIS IS SEXUAL HARRASSMENT
Try #3
> *Spergy silence*
> "Haha, everyone look at anon.
> AWWWWWKWAAAARD"
>>29471509
I forgot to jerk off this morning, can you take a quick peek?
WHY DID SHE TALK TO ME AFTER 1 YEAR
>>29471431
Listen faggot,
Stop caring so much except when it's important. A postmortem of an awkward moment is important, asking yourself what went wrong, how you're going to do better next time. lf you just keep fucking dwelling on that shit though it will eat away at you. Normies have bad experiences too, what makes them different from you or me is that they have good ones to contrast them with. You can learn from your mistakes but if all you've ever made are mistakes what the fuck are you even going to do? You'll figure it out with trial and error but it's hard as fuck because you're way behind everyone else. I find it fun though, it gives me a bit of an adrenaline rush.
tl;dr save your fucks for important fuck giving moments. Godspeed anon
>>29471431
it doesn't matter. any feeling you have is something you can control.
>>29471431
Because she's a manipulative bitch trying to feed her own ego.
LET HER GO
btw Captcha, I'm posting here so obviously I AM a fucking robot.
>blinked
>look around wondering why the lights went out
who /stupid/ here?
>>29471346
Sorry, OP, but I believe that is called extreme degeneracy, you should go see a doctor now, otherwise the symptoms might get worse.
>>29471346
Kek man! Hahaha
Have a nice pic for relaxation
I can't do basic math
I need my fingers to add and subtract
I can't divide or multiply on my own.
Are Somalians white?
>>29471173
>has black skin
>white
Really makes you think.
>>29471173
They are the same race(Causcoid which effects stuff like skull shape and skeletons) but not the same ethnic group obviously.
>>29471173
They're the best looking blacks (no ape nose) and also the nicest but they're dumb. My best friend is Somalian and he's bro tier.
What's your ideology, robots?
And why?
>I follow an ideology
>>29470919
Agnostic, Marxist
I hate feminists and women though and most socialists/communists are supreme normalfags so I don't bother interacting with them. I just want a comfy free society.
>>29470919
I'm a solipsist
Itt: Admit your hidden shameI have 40 gb of incest porn on my hard drive
>>29470831
Interesting, what kind?
And for me none of the things are not bad enough to be ashamed of them, to me, but they aren't the exact same as societies norms.
I have several hundred lolicon doujinshi, just counting the incestuous ones. Mostly brother/sister but there's some father/daughter and even sister/sister in there.
>>29470831
I don't really love my gf
I'm just scared of being alone and enjoy the sex things
the "lefty loosy righty tighty" saying doesn't work with left handed people...
wtf are you talking about? of course it does. right is still right and left is still left, it doesn't matter what your dominant hand is dipshit.
It doesn't work with anything. You spin things clockwise and counterclockwise, not left and right.
>>29471168
This. Working a construction job, it annoys me constantly. Is it left turning over, or left coming up?
Don't worry anon, Chad-bro is here. I am taking a break from lifting and fucking your onitis to give you some brotherly advice.
Ask me any question about problems about girls, you can ask me about other Chad-related stuff as well such as social shit, dieting and lifting. I promise you I will give you the best advice I can.
>>29470597
Tfw I misspelled Onietis. Needless to say, do not ask me about grammar, I suck at that.
>It's another "Chad thinks he can help us and decides to give advice about how to get out of a life he has not only never lived, but knows nothing about" episode
>>29470597
Any advice on getting friends with benefits? I've never dated, and don't plan to, but I do still wan (to give) sum fuk
>Am not witty
>Can't rip into people like a hungry dog even over the internet
>Can only make good points in a very formal way
Shit guys.
This sucks.
>>29470587
>still argue on 4chan
>still believe last post wins
iktfb
It's frustrating when you're certain you're able to blow someone's argument the fuck out but you just don't have the aggression and wit to blow them the fuck out.
Why the fuck is this allowed? People being able to "win" arguments based on charisma and emotion and not logic?
Fucking normie "debate" tactics, REEEEEEE
>>29470629
>still believe last post wins
that's just how it works everywhere on the internet. If you stop talking before me I win. YRYL, pretty much.
Who /cheated death/ here?
>got locked in a freezer as a toddler and nearly suffocated
>nearly drowned in pool twice as a kid
>almost got hit head on going 80 mph
>nearly died from alcohol poisoning
>>29470524
>ate chipotle once
>>29470524
Only a few times I think.
>fell into the pool when I was about 3 or 4, somehow managed to magically get myself out. Still not convinced there wasn't some other force at play.
>an out-of-control car that drove onto the footpath/sidewalk and hit a sign missed me and my friend by about 5 metres
>had a number of near-misses riding my motorbike
>car drove pretty fast from an alley and hit a dog in front of me
>if I left home a few secs earlier I would've got hit
Post your Watch It Agains.
Laugh/Berate/Recommend
I don't care. I like anime and JRPGs.
BUBUBUBUBUBUbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbb wubbbbbbbbbbbbwubbbbbbbbbbbb
>tfw you notice you're a pleb with shit taste
I am patrician.
So the guy who killed The Voice singer in Orlando is a confirmed /r9k/ autist.
http://www.cnn.com/2016/06/22/us/christina-grimmie-the-voice-orlando-police-end-investigation/index.html
...He came in like A wrecking ball!!!
>>29470175
This is like that Bjork shit all over again.
>>29470175
I still don't understand why you ameritards don't want gun control.
>B-but muh freedom!
Seriously, what do you even need them for? To protect yourselves from indians?
How much time do you spend sitting on your ass? Do you have any posture problems from it?
i have a sweaty ass from it
>>29470182
You have a sweet ass?
How many times do you guys beat your meat in a day? I go like 5 times :/
"The Manlet"
[Scene: George is at his new girlfriends apartment. They are watching TV together and she is looking quite bored.]
George: *Snort* isn't this great!? The Yankee's have almost got this!
Kaitlyn: Yeah....Hey listen, I'm just gonna call a friend of mine okay?
George: Sure, go ahead!
[Kaitlyn walks off into her bedroom. During a commercial break, George gets up to go to the kitchen and overhears the phone call.]
Kaitlyn: Yeah I mean he's a nice guy and all.....Yeah.....Uh uh.....Well it's just that.....He's kind of...Too short for me....*giggling* yeah, yeah I know....
[George begins to have a look of panic.]
George: Too short...!?
[Bass line and transition to Jerry's Apartment.]
George: So I heard her say that I'm too short for her!
Jerry: Too short for her!?
George: *throws his arms up* TOO SHORT FOR HER, JERRY!
Jerry: What does she know!? Being tall is overrated!
George: Things were going so well! Why does it matter if I'm short? *snort* I tell you, George is GETTIN' UPSET!
[The buzzer rings.]
Jerry: Yeah?
Elaine: It's me.
Jerry: Come on up.
[Elaine enters the apartment. She notices George's frustration.]
Elaine: *Looks at Jerry* What's the matter with him?
Jerry: His girlfriend is going to leave him because of his height.
Elaine: *grits her teeth* Oh...
George: Oh? What do you mean oh?
Elaine: Your girlfriend... Is her name... Kaitlyn by any chance...?
George: Yes! yes how did you....You....YOU WERE THE ONE ON THE PHONE CALL WITH HER!
Elaine: I'm sorry, George! I DIDN'T KNOW SHE WAS DATING 'YOU'!
George: WHO DID YOU THINK SHE WAS DATING!?
Elaine: JUST ANOTHER GUY NAMED GEORGE, THERE'S DOZENS OF 'EM IN THIS CITY!
George: Don't you see!? You've ruined EVERYTHING! *expresses his hands to encompass all* are you happy with yourself!?
Elaine: I'm really sorry, George...
George: *Waves his hand dismissivly* Ahh.....
Jerry: She sounds kind of shallow anyway, George.
(Cont.)
George: Ohh nooo way, my friend. I'm not letting THIS one get away! Oh no no no no *waves his finger and paces for a moment with his hand on his chin*.... I have to somehow convince her that I am better than a tall guy!
[Kramer slides in and bumps his head on the way through.]
Kramer: Hey George, howd did your date with Kaitlyn go? I told you she was a catch didn't I!?
George: It went awful! She's gonna break up with me because of my height!
Kramer: Hey, I'm sorry to hear it buddy! Being tall isn't all that. It has many downsides too ya know?
George: Isn't all that....Downsides....I got it *claps his hands together*! Listen Kramer, you're friends with her....Do you think you could write a list of all the bad things about being tall? And then when you visit her, put the list somewhere in her apartment, and then I can grab the list during my next date!
Kramer: Well uh...Sure, buddy! Anything you want!
Jerry: Are you sure this is gonna work?
George: Don'tcha see, Jerry!? If I can convince her and plant all these ideas in her head about how bad tall guys are, she'll start to see me in a better light!? It's fool proof, BABY!!!
Kramer: Well I'm heading there later today, so I'll *pop sound* plant that sucker for you then.
Jerry: *sarcastically* I love watching the geniuses at work *takes a drink from his water bottle*...
[Scene transition, back to Kaitlyns apartment. George is sitting there once again watching sports with Kaitlyn and is looking cocky and self-confident.]
George: Heh *snort* ya know, those tall baseball players trip over more easily because they have a higher center of gravity...
Kaitlyn: Uh huh... Hey listen, George. I'm gonna make a phone call.
George: Sure, sure go ahead! Talk for as long as you like, take your time *smiles*!
Kaitlyn: Yeah, thanks...
[Kaitlyn leaves the room. George quickly springs into action and starts to search for Kramer's list. He starts to scurry around the room trying to find it.]
(Cont.)
George: "Where did that idiot put this thing?!
[George quickly races out of the apartment with a flustered and finds a pay phone. He puts coins in it and dials Kramer.]
Kramer: Yellllow!
George: *Whisper-yelling* KRAMER! Where did you put the list!?
Kramer: What list?
[George starts bashing the phone on the phone box in stress and frustration.]
George: The list you planted about all the bad things about being a tall guy!?
Kramer: Ohh right, buddy! It's on top of the book shelf!
George: On top of the book shelf, got it!
[George quickly hangs up and races back into the apartment and sees the book shelf.]
George: "Time to save this relationship."
[George can't quite reach the top of the book shelf. He starts to jump but he still isn't tall enough to reach the list. George starts to panic.]
[Kaitlyn then comes out of her room with a serious look on her face. She sees George jumping in front of her book shelf like a mad man. She then begins to frown.]
Kaitlyn: Listen, George. We need to talk.
[Camera angled from the ceiling and facing down on George has he looks up.]
George: KRAAAAAAAAMERRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
[Freeze frame, bass line and roll credits.]
>>29470159
I was thinking about this the last time you posted but all of these episodes involve dates. Maybe I missed some that were different but have you thought of exploring more?
Anyway these are great. Thanks for posting.
There is absolutely nothing wrong wanting to fuck young girls.
>>29470111
Define young.
Not even being original here *sigh*.
>>29470134
12+
I dont fuck babys
>>29470111
You are a genetic failure if you are attracted to girls who aren't developed yet, literally
If you so ever actually find a small young girl to have sexual relationships with you will ruin their life forever and scar them
So yes, there is plenty wrong with wanting to do this. Kys
