Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 7746. page
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>try analbation with a dildo that's roughly the same size I am
>feels pretty good, feel confident that my cock can please a girl
>decide to try one a few inch longer and a bit girthtier than my penis
>feels 10 times better
>get depressed
fuck.
Does it feel anything like taking a shit? Because if It does I'd legit go gay. I fucking love shitting.
That's not how you have sex with a woman. You're doing it wrong.
>>24832949
You know that small peak of bliss you feel when squeezing out a huge log? Think that but constant while it vibrates all the way to your cock
I was detained by a cop the fourth time in the past six months.
I was walking down the street at night in a wealthy neighborhood, trying to figure out how I would get home without pissing off my dad (I spent all my money to take a train upstate to visit a friend stupidly) and a cop rolls up to me asking what I was doing. I, retardedly, tell him I'm walking back home to Long Island. This sounds unlikely as I was in Westchester County, NY at the time, but it was true. The cop searches all my pockets and cuffs me after telling me to take my hands out of my pockets (it was cold, so I kept putting them back in after a while), taunts me, pushes me to the cop car, and tells me I'm a suspect for burglary.
Why does this keep happening to me? I'm not even black or hispanic.
Tell him your Jewish and that your uncle is a lawyer. Take all chutzpah out of him.
>>24832930
That's what you get for leaving the house
>>24832930
Shouldnt be a burglar
Why do we love Sam Hyde again?
I don't
So idk if "we" do. Some members of this board are obsessed with him but idk why.
cheap lambrusco wine in the gianicolo hills overlooking rome
I like him because he does not give a single fuck about his reputation, he will speak what is on his mind and often does it in a scathing parody of whatever he's criticizing.
His Kickstarter videos are fucking great, his TED talk parody was spot-on, Officer Maggot Dick Cop Faggot is hilarious and Moms is one of the funniest videos I've ever seen.
He did a recent stand up called "you might be mike brown if..." and another where he is pretending to be mentally retarded and right in the middle says "Bernie Sanders 2016!"
I wasn't aware that he was popular in /r9k/, I've never seen him posted here.
>Ah anon i'm sorry i didn't tell you this but i used to be a man, does this bother you?
>used to be
>implying
At this point it doesn't fucking matter to me. As long as he's qt and his vagina doesn't look fucked up. We'll adopt and keep this a secret between the two of us.
>used to be
You still are, degenerate.
>disengages safety on 1911
Any neets make music?
>>24832658
Yes, and it's absolute shit
>>24832878
Fuck off, you've never listened to some boss NEET beats. Currently listening to some robocore.
I tried making an anime ost once. It just ended with racist gibberish and masturbating to dxd.
You're given the chance to go back to your 8th grade self and tell yourself one thing.
It can't be anything factual (eg, "X horse will win Y race") and it can't pertain to anything specific in your life (eg, "Don't ask that girl out", "Don't go to that school"). You just get one extremely generic piece of advice to give. Assume your past self will take this seriously and accept that you are him/her in the future. What do you say? Why would you say it?
Kill yourself, you're never going to do anything with your life.
End it now, things get worse.
>>24832622
WORK HARD IN HIGHSCHOOL YOU FUCKING SHITSTAIN
ITT: Books all NEET's should read
All of Hesse's work is like a must read for robots.
Fight Club I suppose.
>>24832415
I recommend this so much
>hey loser do you want to lick out my pussy? Chad and thad just came inside it but a beta like you should be ok with that
> this is what turns on bi-fags
I wonder how many keks are actually closeted bisexuals?
>hold her down while I thrust my beta cock in her
then unload my beta babies
>implying you aren't too old for Thad
Why do you/would you go to university anon?
>>24832363
to meet cool people. Duh.
parents will make me live life on nightmare mode if i dont
mommy forced me to go
>tfw no trap gf
why is life so cruel
>your trap gf will never force you to smell their ball musk
>>24832384
feels terrible man
I just want a smelly NEET trap gf who spends the entire day playing video games on my couch and fapping
Where could I find a trap gf?
How do robots feel about politics?
HEIL HITLER AND FUCK NIGGERS, LET'S GET THIS PARTY STARTED
>>24832025
I couldn't care less. It's all rigged anyways. Whoever wins, we lose.
>>24832025
Kind of suck since most of it is Socialists trying to consolidate their power fighting against corporatists trying to consolidate their power. The only difference is who you want to fuck over your descendants
What do you robots believe will happen after you an hero?
Optimistically I'll reincarnate as a non manlet. Pessimistically I'll be tortured for all eternity because there's a god and he's a total psycho. Most likely my consciousness will simply cease to exist.
>>24831873
What is so bad about being short? I don't even get it.
I understand there's social stigma but I just have a hard time believing if I were a few inches shorter my life would be so much worse than it is now.
>>24831880
You'll make less money, people won't respect you and no women will ever find you genuinely attractive.
why not having a GF can be a good idea:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oPSLnZn4phQ
>>24831601
this is all I want man.
just some slut that i can fuck constantly and nothing else.
this video is too long and i know it will just mess with my head
>>24831601
>she thinks she won't fall in love with someone else
>he actually thinks he's getting a good deal and can fuck whoever he wants
can we get a #bodypositive cringe thread going?
>>24831118
>Cute n shit
Shes half right but wholly wrong
>>24831118
>Cute n Shit
Shes half right, but wholly wrong, who could raise such a monstrosity?
if it wasn't for the pit hair I'd think so
So who's uglier, Asian men, or Indian men?
>>24831020
Indian by far.
Indians are Asian,retard.
>>24831029
You know what he means. Asians have a lot of potential to look good if they have decent genetics. Indians have never looked fashionable in the history of the world.
