Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 304. page
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I am curious about how technology tends to gather dust over time; how many of you robots just have old smartphones lying around?
>>29893455
I have never owned my own smartphone to this day.
I have tablets and handheld consoles though, which always seemed superior since I only needed it for games anyway. Who am I gonna talk to with a phone?
I did until I forced myself to stop being a hoarder.
For some reason I thought I'd have a use for this fucking thing in 2015.
I've nevr had one but my mom has like 8 just sitting around haha
>Your face when the writer/host of this show isn't Rod Sterling
>It's Rod Serling
shit I switched universes
I feel like I'm in the twilight zone.
Real fans know this.
Real robots sperg on spelling as a rule.
Now where the fuck does that leave you, OP?
>keep thinking someone is going to come up behind me and slit my throat
you should do it for them
>>29893402
used to think this when i was in highschool. i wronged to crazy depressed looking mother fuckers real bad. thought they'd kill me. was apathetic about it though
>>29893402
That can be noisy.
I'm more worried about getting garroted desu.
Some motherfucker behind me I'll never see choking me to death. There might be people nearby but I can't scream.
Currently listening to Donald Fagen, anybody feel like everything is just pointless? I'm pretty sure I have no sense of humour or empathy anymore. What do you guys do when you feel like this?
Also I kill every thread I post in, so I'm not really expecting a reply
You are alone there are no robots left on r9k anymore
Live to get old enough to push your wife around and go to jail.
How the fuck are Asian men so attractive and masculine
I want to move to Asia so bad
>>29893233
pic unrelated?
originalasfuckfamily
Nice try, Ping
>>29893241
This guy is objectively very attractive
Let's have another cute girl thread
>>29893228
>cute girls
Wow, the one time the image in the OP is actually a biological female, and she's fugly as shit.
80s J-Pop is p cool
>>29893262
agreed. I love all the tans. bronzed japanese girls with big luscious hair, god yes
I'm writing a novel; tell me if this beginning entices you, the reader. The title of the book is "The Fridge".
The dry-as-dust air hung over the town of Spinston with dread. It was welcomed with resentment by the local folk, as they knew that despite their unabating hatred for the relentlessly arid conditions, it was inevitable that it should return. Such was life in Spinston in the middle of July. Even though the annual dry conditions brought a tired and resigned aura to the locale, daily activities needed to commence as usual. People still would pick up the groceries from the local supermarket, take their kids to the pediatrician for the annual check-up, and make purchases to increase their quality of living in such an uncomfortable climate.
Daryl Demmans, a rotund man of the ripe age of sixty with a jolly and benevolent, yet innocuously eccentric disposition, slipped into the air conditioned cabin of his 1998 Toyota Corolla. It was a reliable car, not luxurious by any stretch of the imagination, but Daryl seeked functionality over opulence. He was sixty by now after all, far too old to concern himself with such minutiae as vanity. That was a young man's game, and he knew it.
>>>(CONT.)
>>29893222
He lived alone, without an heir to the Demmans name, in a single bedroom apartment. Of course, he had his beloved feline Manfred to accompany him. She provided a sense of belonging and comfort that no human being could provide Daryl. He could never fit in with others, he was the black sheep in whichever social circle he found himself in. He wasn't exactly hostile or confrontational, or a deviant or other sort of freak... just different. A social outcast, not that he didn't mind. He was content and moderately happy, and that's all that mattered to him. Recently though, his dear domicile was plagued with a spat of misfortunes (or so other people called them "misfortunes) - a bed bug infestation, maggot infestation, rat infestation. Perhaps, he thought to himself, it may be time to finally throw out that yogurt container from last Christmas. Didn't that milk expire in February? It's July now. It's hard to depart with such dear momentos from the past, Daryl knew this feeling dearly. In his apartment one could find an unorganized collection of newspapers stretching back to three years ago, milk containers with milk still in them from half a year ago, cheese left underneath the couch from God knows when. Could that be a cause of all those pests in his house? Probably, but those critters were simply more companionship for Daryl's lonely soul, seemingly convicted to an eternity of solitude. He preferred the maggots, rats, worms and other such little, well-meaning creatures to humans, with all of their silly social conventions. He knew he needed to clean though, otherwise the landlord, Ms. Hatherley, would start to threaten him with eviction. Old cunt, Daryl thought. One day, I'll show her. I'll show them all. A large impediment to having his household in good order was the lack of a working fridge. His hadn't worked in years, but he was indifferent.
>>>(CONT)
>>29893255
He was only doing it so the cunt wouldn't evict him from his home. So today's journey was to the hardware store, to purchase a cheap, yet functional fridge. Functionality was key to Daryl.
Sweat dripped from his temples onto the frame of his glasses. He loathed the glasses, since they made his eyes look grotesquely magnified, but he knew he needed them to drive. Otherwise, they resided on the floor somewhere. He wasn't particular about organization. Individual droplets of sweat flowed down his rosy, pock-marked cheeks onto his bloated, clean-shaven chin and neck (the two came into unison with one another, as is seen in obese men of his age). He wiped his neck with the back of his left hand every five seconds or so. Daryl decided to call ahead to the hardware store, John's Hardware Supply. He fumbled about, attempting to wrestle his cellphone from his deep pocket, slightly swerving as he maintained a modest 50 km/h on the one-lane road residential road that took him from his apartment building on the southside of the town to downtown, on the central-north side, where John's Hardware Supply was located. It was a medium-sized town, with a population of about 35,000. It had a rich history, being the largest trading post in North Dakota for a while. Of course, it hadn't maintained such a position of greatness, but many of the small rural centres of the American West and Midwest shared similar stories of former greatness, but modern quaintness. Finally, Daryl got a definite grip on his rather antiquated Motorola RAZR flip-phone. He struggled to flip it open with his index finger as he kept it stable with his other three fingers and thumb, while trying to keep a steady grip on his driving. Driving already presented itself as a difficult challenge to surmount, since he was horribly far-sighted, let alone trying to drive while attempting to phone a hardware store. He finally found the name "JOHN'S HW" in his contacts' list, and pressed dial.
>>>(CONT)
More substance, less poetry.
Be more careful about your word choices. Some things don't quite fit. "With dread", for example, isn't typically used that way.
You have a good sense of the lyrical, but you're overdoing it a tad. Reign things in and be more substantive. Resist the urge to be flowery to take up space.
>tfw no anime characters to cosplay as cause I'm a brown male (not black).
shit would be so much easier if I was a woman.
>>29893211
What about Scar from FMA?
>>29893261
thanks anon, any other suggestions? Obviously not built enough to play him, other one that comes to mind is Chad from Bleach.
whereas if you're a female there's casca, michiko, yoruichi
>>29893345
You're giant as fuck and have a gatling gun for a hand, right?
This is it robots. I'm finally turning my life around.
Tomorrow, I plan to starve myself, eating the bare essentials and a multi vitamin to barely stay alive. I'm going to do this for a few months. In a week's time, the house I put an offer on, after inspection, I'm going to get a loan and buy it, and get a job. My goal is to slim down, then go to the gym, and work, so I can better myself and be confident so I can get the girl.
Please believe in me, fellow robots.
If you suddenly stop eating your body is going to go full survival mode and try to keep as much fat as possible. Just tone it down, cut some shitty foods out of your diet, your body will burn fat while your exercise so you don't collapse from a heart attack.
No, you wont. Why are you lying to yourself like this? You may do it one dar or two, maybe a whole week, after that you will give up.
To do this you need dedication, and you don't have it. I'm sorry anon.
>>29893202
Don't starve yourself, dumbass.
Eat better.
>playing Starcarft II
>Protoss, obviously gonna start with a Zealot Rush
>opponent is Terran
>all base, no Unitas
>get chat message
>YOU FUCKING CUNT
>KILL YOURSELF
>GET CANCER AND DIE YOU NO SKILL FAGGOT
>win
Muh dick.
>>29893186
>2
>not brood war
get cancer and die you no skill faggot
>>29893186
I love SC and SC2 but I hate multiplayer. I like building nice bases and then worry about units. You rushfags ruin all the fun.
>was crazy good in uncharted 2 mp
>team deatchmatach, first team to reach 50 kills win
>I do 35/7
>everybody messages me
>my team congratulating enemy team calling me names
better than sex tbqhfm
Why is it that so many black guys are turning to Asian girls now? Has the white women meme expired, and are Asians the new hotness?
>>29893184
Read that as "why are black guys turning into asian women now"
>tfw no qt azn gf
origidig
CCANNNOT COMPETE
Are weddings a good place to pick up girls? Half of the people there aren't blood related soooo
Yes there will be roasties jealous of the bride, thinking they'll never trick a man into getting married and having children. So to boost their self-esteem they'll try to get a boyfriend or fuck date at the wedding.
Happens at every wedding ever.
>>29893272
Sweet.
Also during natural disasters and in other emergency situations I heard? Or is that only good for casual sex?
>>29893174
Nah, that's a meme too.
What's the most beta thing you've ever done?
I asked a prostitute if I could touch her breasts after I had already paid her $250.
>>29893151
had a oneitis for 8 years
Beta is a meme, it's literally impossible to be beta.
Not only does the ABO dynamic not apply to humans, it doesn't even apply to dogs or wolves either. It's pseudo-science turned into a meme out of insecurity.
What do you think of girls with dd/lg fetishes? And why do they have those fetishes?
Because they are dumb roasties and all women want is a surrogate father figure to babysit them for the rest of their lives anyway
I just want a daddy that will torture my bladder and call me his little loli.
>>29893069
We should empower and celebrate female fetishes.
Where do I find girls with super low self esteem?
I've tried the psychward and Arby's but they're all taken.
>>29893063
All taken in the psychwards?
DAMMIT.
Some of them might just have imaginary bfs though?
Why would you want that anon? It's all they can talk about. Really boring desu.
>relationships that form primarily based on both people having low self esteem
Wow what a great way to set up a relationship that's destined to fall apart
