Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 1036. page
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ITT: girls you lost your virginity to
shes 17 im 18
she was 16 at the time (legal age in australia)
>>29566166
>losing virginity
Why are you here
>>29566244
idek im an average looking young dude thats active with friends and shit, but then i just like autistic shit like 4chan, deathgrips and vaporwave as well
>>29566277
Did you just call Death Grips autistic?
Get the fuck out, normie!
Seeing girls with shorts make me wish I was in a LTR.
Holy shit, reading this thread as a 26 year old man makes me realise how behind losers like us really are in terms of knowing what to do with ourselves, how to act, how to dress. How you people feel in this thread was how i felt as well when i was 19-20. Now im 29 i now know what I would've and should've done when I was 22 or younger but that means shit all because im not at that age anymore which means im again one step behind, again and again
Ill see myself out
Regards
>>29566174
But, anon, you're here forever.
Oregano cunny
>>29566152
Why though OP. Also I really like the jellyfish pic you used. I like drawing jelly fish so it caught my eye
How the fuck do you get revenge on a girl? How the fuck do you ruin their life?
Literally nothing fucking phases them besides the death of a family member and that's temporary as hell.
Shop some nude pics of her and send it to people of her school/college/workplace etc.
You know what they say, the best revenge is a life well lived. I advise against seeking revenge in all except the most extreme cases, and even then I remain skeptical. But what the fuck do I know?
>>29566133
Ruin their social life with others
Its the only
Label her w cult full of STDs and people will steer clear of her
>year 2012
>be 22 years old
>basic cyborg shit. I have my own place and a job, mummy is just nice enough to keep me on her phone plan
>birthday in December, mummy promised me a new smart phone
>febuarary comes around she decides she can afford it now
>we go to vzn and queue
>I look and note 3 catches my eye
>pretty expensive but fuck it's big, good specs, what I wanted as my birthday gift
>mummy likes to give me a hard time about it
>says things like "you're so lucky to have a mummy that will buy you things still, after all anon, you're 22 years old!"
>sales bitch doesn't know that it's my birthday gift
>sales bitch is sneering at me
>I can totally tell that she is being judgmental
>after a bit of debate, and mummy's initial shock over the retail price, she reluctantly agrees to buy it
>the sales bitch looks at me in disgust, says "my son's will never be like you at your age."
>slaps me on the shoulder and walks away before I could even think of telling her "b-b-but it's my birthday gift."
What did she mean by this? My face was so red, I've never felt more like an autist in my life. I was mortified. I almost cried in the car, but that's for robots. When we returned to the car I explained to mummy that it hurt my feelings that she promised me a phone but gave me shit for picking one I wanted. And in doing so gave the sales bitch the impression that I'm full tax dependant.
I am going for an upgrade in 5 hours to the same store. I'm dreading it. At least this time I'll have cash to pull out and show.
What are your experiences with smartphone autism?
She probably thinks you do incest.
>>29566101
sounds like she is a poor mom who can't get her kids nice things, she works at a phone store after all.
Also, you could file a complaint about her. Sales reps are not allowed to give you shit when you're a customer.
Eye for an eye, I always say.
Talk about pickles or something I don't fucking care.
>Cucumber thread
>Talk about pickles or something I don't care
Fuck off OP, pickling ruins the cucumber.
Also saged.
>>29566057
>cucumber thread
>post pickle
>>29566649
Damn it faggot, you forgot to sage. This post would have been archived by now.
>want some LSD asap
>no one I know has or knows someone who has in my city
>ordering off the darknet is a lengthy process and getting your order takes weeks
Fucking Canada.
>>29566038
Teach me how to access the darknet senpai
3d lolis been boring lately
>>29566038
Same here bruh, but in my case it's shittier cuz I live in fucking Serbia.
>>29566095
I mean 2D
Anyone else sad because they have chad/stacy siblings and didnt end up the same as them?
>he's 5'11, I'm 5'8
>he's attractive, I'm ugly
>he's had multiple long term relationships and top tier girls literally begging for his attention, I'm a KHV
>he's gifted in sport and all things physical, I lost my testicle at 14 due to genetic fault
>he's succeeding in his college degree, I'm a STEM dropout
>parents love him, despise me
I struggle to go to family events because everyone is so far above me, they make fun of me, condescend and smugly make fun of my height and looks. Everything is becoming worse and worse I don't think things could possibly ever improve. I often feel like my life would be better without being a constant let down to everyone but I don't think I could survive on my own and I can't make other friends. I just want a gf.
No, but I'm basically your Chad brother. Feels good, mang.
>>29566030
pix of testicle?
>>29566071
I don't really care about chads. Its more the contrast between me and my family. Also there's no way you're a chad on r9k please stop the bragging
Don't forget, on your deathbed you'll despise yourself for wasting your life doing something you hate.
Another day another dollar wagies.
>>29565986
I despise myself for a lot of reasons already.
One more won't break the bank.
>>29565986
So getting money to do stuff i like is bad , but sitting home eating ramen and playing vidya is good?
>>29566044
if you like it so much, why dont you do it for free?
protip: its because tricked yourself into thinking you liked it because [laking the resolve to trancend into neetdom] you knew you'd be doing it anyway
Women aren't "earned". They're given to you for free based on your genetic profile. Your genes not your performance.
Your genes not your performance determine every reward you will ever get in this racist system.
yeah, that explains why black women throw themselves at me, but i don't want them.
Life is 90% genetics
You were born to be a loser
Left guy could look normal if he shaved, used cream and actually excercised. Im no beauty myself but I actually do personal hygiene and actually talk to people, thats what you get girls. Sure, looks help, but they can easily be compensated with personality (or alcohol). So get up and stop acting like a five year old because isnt going to give all the shit you want, you have to take it yourself.
>listening to a good metallica song you've never heard before
best feel
I didn't even know metallica had good songs
>metallica
>good song
Im sure youre just shitposting
>he doesn't listen exclusively to synth wave
>he listens to metal
That's a redflag
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xAM6mG6BWjw
Godamn motherfucking FIFA 16. This shit game made me destroy my fucking controler once again. I already broke my first controler over fucking Battlefield, now that SHIT happens.
>tfw you only had one controler and you are now fucked
>tfw when even at video games you fucking suck
>tfw you have anger issues
>that """taste""" in videogames
are you black?
>>29565959
Shut the FUCK up, motherfucker. I am a white european, so i like football.
Maybe you should find healthier outlets for your anger. Some study I think found that punching a pillow or breaking something actually only makes you even angrier, and don't calm you down whatsoever. Anyways it's just a video game, man.
>Go to a clothes store
>The smallest size waist in the men's department is a 28
>At least 2, maybe 3 inches to big for my waist.
>Have to go to the kids department
>End up looking like a little boy
Fuck being a skeletal. I know I'm on the short side (5'9" barefoot), but only 120-125lbs. Plenty of other people my height shop in the men's department. I'm really not even that thin, I honestly feel I'd look a bit better if I lost about 5lbs, or if I worked out a bit to lose some fat.
>>29565916
OP again, why can't they have sizes for people who aren't fat as fuck? It's not a plus size store, just a regular clothes store.
>>29565926
iktf OP. I usually walk out of stores empty handed because the smallest size is still way too big for me.
It's almost if they hate skinny people or anything.
>>29565916
Being skeletal isnt healthy bruh
And I'm just thuggin' with my niggas tryna keep it real
>>29565755
Sick man jesus christ is my nigga
>>29565755
I'd like to keep this thread live, preferably.
>>29565810
Just keep it real, ya feel?
My veggies aren't gunna be round forever
We out of cocaine by the way
Why does r9k always complain about having no gf being depressive and being a failure?
Get a fucking life, go outside and enjoy yourself. If you sit at home you will never be happy and you know its true.
Instead of playing videogames and jerking off to anime you should improve yourself, go to the gym, have a good hygiene, overcome your meme anxiety.
Fucking hell its not that hard.
As a 26 year old, I realise how behind losers like us really are in terms of knowing what to do with ourselves. How you people feel in this thread was how i felt as well when i was 19-22. Now im 26 i now know what I would've and should've done when I was 22 or younger but that means shit all because im not at that age anymore
>>29565751
>get a life
If I hear this phrase one more time I swear I'm going to make a shitload of pipebombs and blow a bus full of normies REEEE
Yes sir, Chad McChisledchin! I'll get right on it, sir!
>in my room browsing /r9k/ and deviantart
>mom comes in
>"anon, we're having company round later, could you please shower"
>remind her to call me shadow killer and tell her that water burns my skin (the only liquid I can touch is mountain dew)
>"o..okay shadow killer"
>throw a piss bottle at her to frighten her into never forgetting again
>5pm now
>ask my whore mom where my chicken nuggets are
>there are people here
>"everyone this is anon" says my stupid dad
>scream at him that my name is fucking shadow killer
>everyone looks tense
>"hey anon, what are you into?"
>tell them that I like hentai, mlp and 4chan
>"what's 4chan anon?"
>that's it
>attack him with my blazing shadow technique while shouting that my name's shadow killer
>he dodges and I fall into the wall,smashing through because of my weight
>use my spell attack "mortem omnibus normies"
>"what's a normie?"
>grab the shitjug I was concealing under my trench coat
>smash it over the stupid cunts head
>shit's everywhere
>remember about my chicken nuggets
>hurl myself at my bitch mom
>screaming CHICKEN NUGGETS!!!
>she's crying
>grab her by the hair and drag her into the kitchen
>say get to work bitch
>"anon, you're 28, can't you make your own chicken nuggets?"
>smash her head against the oven while screaming DARKNESS PILEDRIVE
>there's a loud snap
>go back upstairs
>check deviantart messages
>can hear ambulance sirens outside
Fucking normies.
>>29565742
why do people post these stupid fake stories?
It started off promising with the shadow killer thing but then just got too absurd to be funny.
It gave me a giggle mate
