Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 8034. page
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>have hot azn gf with giant titties who makes me food and fucks like crazy
>feel dead inside
>wish I was alone
>hate being alone
Why is life this way
>>24607591
What's her name? Original comment.
>>24607731
Not Op, but literally the exact same situation. Her name was Lin. Eventually I figured out that I was depressed because she was extremely clingy and insecure and it made me feel trapped.
These days I'm dating a qt nerdy non religious Jewish womanlet with bangin titties. The sex is pretty vanilla but she's just 100 times easier to hang out with and doesn't get bothered about not hanging out if I have other plans or one of us is tired.
>humblebragging on /r9k/
How to spot a failed normie
If you enjoy MillionDollarExtreme, Gavin Mcinnes, thedailystormer and "ironic meta" fb pages you should sincerely kill yourself
>>24607374
You keep on running your mouth child. Let everyone know how childish you are by starting pointless arguments.
I don't know what "ironic meta fb pages" are but all those other things are awful and liked by awful people, yeah
>>24607374
Gavin's show is pretty good and How to be a Man was a funny movie
I don't see the problem
my boyfriend pick me up and throw me around in front of his friends and pretends to hump me... he done it several times and i feel embarrassed in public when he does it. he won't stop , i asked him to.
>>24607177
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah
What do you get out of baiting like this? This isn't even funny or effective bait, it's just sad. Are you trying to combine as many baits into one? Bait doesn't work that way. There is subtlety
>>24607177
are you a boy or are u a girl?
Bow before her!
I turned this garbage off the moment she transformed.
>anime
>imgur filename
Back to le reddit you go
More cancerous than a colon
/homeless/ general. What are my hobo robots up to tonight? got any good stories? How ya holdin up in the winter?
>>24606808
how would they have internet, dingus
>>24606828
There was a homeless person on a forum I used to go to. He had a netbook and just went around using free WiFi.
>>24606859
The he needs to get his priorities sorted.
I really hate my job, Robots. I hate my boss - some stuttering, weak-looking, idiot who is only the bossman because his father put him there. I hate my actual job - boring, repetitive, unskilled. Entering numbers and some words into an Excel spreadsheet, all day long. The wage is what most disgusts me - I only get paid $9.50/hr. And this is after graduating with a college degree. I hate the people at the place: co-workers are decent, but I hate dealing with the illiterate and truly subhuman spic mechanics who can't utter or write one coherent word.
Robots, I wanted to be a bureaucrat. I wanted to work in the government. I was almost 9 months a NEET, and I couldn't get anything but this shit job, which I only got because my dad knew someone.
I have an exam for a government position coming up in a few days. I want it so bad. But at the same time, I don't know how to study, because they don't say that the test will be about. I know the position is about safety compliance (mostly making sure people follow basic safety rules and stuff like alcohol policy and sexual harassment rules). But that's all.
I really want/need this job, Robots. I just can't stand being my current job anymore.
Self bump, don't care if attentionwhore
>>24606792
Why are pepe and wojak so sad?
>>24607348
dunno what to say, but good luck for the exam at least.
Today I found out that my mother was a Stacy.
>Be 30 and getting divorce from cheating slut
>The only thing that keeps me from believing that all women are whores is that my mother has been married to my father for 32 years
>State that I'll never date a woman over the age of 28 because by then women have slept around too much
>Mother tries to reassure me, "I dated a LOT during my 20s. I dated many, many men. Finally I met your father when I was 30. After so many other guys, it was good to find one with morals that I could settle down with. You might find another woman who is in the same position!"
>MFW
>babby's first encounter with the ride
>>24606764
This happened to me too familiam. I thought dad was my mom's first real relationship but it turns out she had a year long relationship in high school.
>>24606764
My mom is a single mother.
She is dead set on setting me up with random bitches she meets. Either their damaged, fat or have kids or some shit.
She wants me to be a step dad so fucking bad, its fucking weird. And she gets mad if I tell her I want kids of my own, or that I won't date a single mother like her, or that I don't take girls that she tries to hook me up with. Throughout my life she dated guy to guy trying to find the guy to save her. They all just fucked her and left. I don't feel like being one of those guys.
I want to be an actual father; fuck that hammy down shit.
And guess what race we are.
Here is the story of why I absolutely abhore glowsticks.
>Be me, 12 years old at a summer camp.
>Average wake-up time is 6:45, but on Saturdays everyone is supposed to sleep in and stay in bed until 9 so counselors can nap. (This is all just background info so that shit makes sense)
>Friday night. (On Fridays, whole camp gathers in the evenings.)
>Sitting with some friends, listening to an old guy tell stories about a dude putting soup in his pockets or some shit
>See glowsticks are being passed out, and that a friend has broken one open and is doodling with it.
>Take one and break it open, draw aimlessly
>This kid who was a complete jock asshole (And ironically tiny) sees what I'm doing and starts whispering really loudly asking me for the glowstick.
>Give it to him so he'll shut up
>He plays around and gives it back
>Ironically, as soon as I have it again a counselor notices and starts chewing me out.
>GodFuckingDammit.jpg
>Counselor starts talking about how the stuff is toxic and I start getting worried
>Whatever, gathering is over and we head back to the tents.
>I'm still kinda jumpy so I take an ass ton of hand sanitizer and clean my hands
>Go into the tent, get ready for bed.
>Next morning, wake up early because internal clock reasons.
>Remember I have a book
>Kid below me has a bag of like 300 glowsticks for no reason
>He gives me two and I start reading by glowlight
>Glowsticks start to dim
>Sigh and crack them again
>THEY BOTH FUCKING POP RIGHT IN MY FACE
>FUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCK.pdf
>Jump off top bunk, land on cement floor in bare feet.
>Remember I'm supposed to stay silent so I basically run two laps around our tent panicking and trying to figure out what to do.
>Run up to counselor's bed
>He's asleep
>Can't be too loud
>Fuck
>Pace for another couple seconds before slugging him in the shoulder
>He looks up groggily
>Frantically gesture at my face and mutter "Fucking glowstick popped..."
Continue?
Please don't Original Poster, you are a faggot. Thanks
>robot at camp, as in normal life
>camp is at a government science facility
>have to keep ID badges to show we belong there
>losing your ID means you have to miss an entire day and spend it working in the mess hall
>get lightly bullied the first and second day
>bonfire that night
>bonfire takes place beside a big curved wall engraved with donor names
>end up hiding behind it because there's no one that will talk to me at this point
>someone's ID flies over the wall
>figure some kid is getting bullied, since I hear some kids laughing immediately after
>throw the badge back over when the laughter stops
>come out from behind the wall, since my position is given away
>the laughing kids are still standing there and all stare at me
>"WHAT THE FUCK, DUDE"
>spend three minutes threatening me for "getting their friends' badge stuck on the top of the wall"
>I can see it in his pocket
>next day
>one girl catches me in the circuitry lab and tries to apologize
>"Oh, you'll be sorry. You'll all be sorry."
>force my eye to start twitching to be "intimidating"
>she drops the circuitry class
>>24606326
>>24607350
Ignore the edgy teenager OP, please cont.
>He doesn't use teeth whitening products.
>He doesn't use teeth gap bands.
>He doesn't wear shoe lifts.
>He doesn't exfoliate.
>He hasn't gotten a non surgical nose job.
>He doesn't facial exercise for a more shapely nose and stronger cheekbones.
Jesus christ, it's like you want to be unattractive forever. There are so many things you could do to improve your physical appearance and in turn your self esteem. It's not hard.
>>24606324
>facial excercises
>>24606324
What the hell is a non-surgical nose job?
>>24606427
That's what I was just about to ask lol.
How do I join the world of organized crime? I just want to be a badass crime goon and live life on easy mode by scaring normies.
I'm not yet edgy enough for murder missions, but I think I can handle anything drugs/human trafficking just fine
you have to make your own connections, because it's likely you have autism. buy a shipment of weed off the darknet and sling it cheap, 7.50 a g, start getting friendly with the people you sell it to and set up a consumerbase through that
You have to apply online.
>>24606359
>he thinks selling weed to potheads is going to get OP into organized crime
Who else here accuses others of being reddit for no reason?
>>24606278
Who here posts on Reddit while telling other to go back to Reddit
>>24606278
sounds like a very reddit thing to do op
>>>/r/eddit
>>24606278
that's a very reddit thing for you to do
>having a reason
How do you suppress the urge to kill fellow bots?
>>24606050
I don't know that feel.
I love my bots, however bitter, hateful, needlessly hostile, and otherwise human they may sometimes be.
Night, OP.
You don't, just let it out.
>>24606050
OP here meant to be a comma after kill, sorry
Hide your young they're on to us
>>24606044
Saw this earlier today
The guardian is well known for both a lot of spelling and factual inaccuracies, can't say I'm too surprised
>>24606074
This is far from an inaccuracy. It's an atrocity.
>>24606044
pretty accurate, 4chan is basically reddit at this point.
why are you squandering the opportunity of existence?
Because it was mercilessly foisted upon me by thoughtless apes
I'm too short to enjoy life
Because it was not by my hand that I am given life
what music do you listen to fellow robots? post favorite albums, r8, h8, rec, etc.
Is fucking your mom in her anus considered music? Because it's music to MY ears every night lol
btw she has a stinky poop hole
tf is this link it ITT
>>24605957
neet-hop
https://airospace.bandcamp.com/album/vol-ii
