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Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 6679. page


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Aight robots I'm back, the horny fuck that got invited by a prostitute for drinks. I'm linking to the other threats so you guys can catch up.

http://imgur.com/a/gRiPn

Ok lets start this shitfest of human miseries.

>A few weeks after the drinks date feel horny as fuck
>Had a night out with friends
>Text my new favorite prostitute
>"Hey gorgeous, what are you doing?"
>"Not much baby, and you?"
Baby in english, as usual
>"I'm here missing you, wanna have some action?"
>"Sure baby, I'm with some friends come to this crappy side of the city, I'll guide you to my location"

Long story short: I end up lost in one of the worst places in my town and with my cellphone dead from hanging with my friends. I went back home to sleep.

>Next morning, fully charged phone
>Three text messages, one voice messagge
>Voice message goes "You motherfucker, I waited for you a lot. Please don't call me again"
>Feel bad, I text her "I'm very sorry, my phone died trying to open your location and got lost. I hope you believe me"
>An hour passes, receive a text from her "If you are honest, then meet me at this crappy supermarket like a kilometer away where I sent you last night so we go to fuck"
>Great, now I am the one on call and have to pay her to have sex with me, just fucking great
>"Ok gorgeous, give me 30 minutes"

I met her, we apologize each other and go to a near motel.
>She got undressed and got into the bed, I do the same and cuddle against her
>I finger her while she rubs her ass against my dick
>After some foreplay she grabs my dick and inserts it on her vagina with no condom
>I remember her telling me the first time we met that she was clean but If I wanted to fuck her bareback it was going to cost extra
>Nice, I'm getting an extra for free

Oh sweet summer child, you are definitely getting something extra.

>We fuck nice, finish over her ass
>We hug naked and chat
>Then she asks me for a ride to her house, whatever it is sunday
>We say goodbye with peek kiss over lips
45 posts and 2 images submitted.
>>
After this we start texting frequently sharing memes and shit, but since we are texting over her "work" cellphone it is fairly intermittent and makes me feel kinda unwwanted. I tried to arrange another drinks date but she dissapeared from the work phone. Hell, I was even considering hire her after the drinks. Then this happened.

>I receive a PM notification from a non friend in facebook
>Open it, is her
>Fuck, I had told her I didn't had a fb profile (and actually I hadn't when I met her but made a new one to catch up with friends)
>"Hey, this is weird but I saw your face in my suggested friends, very weird"
>Fuck I need to play this cool
>"Oh nice! You see, I got back to fb because of a lady friend that recommended me to be on facebook"
>She replies with a confused face sticker
>"Oh yeah, a lady friend super fan of Harry Potter"
>in_love_face sticker

Remember robots she is a super Harry Potter fan.

>I tell her "hey, add me to your friends"
>Gotta harvest intel
>She accepts
>Tell her "great! now I can vandalize your wall"
>Post on her wall some stupid card that goes "If I was your coworker; I'd sexually harass you"
>She deletes it, tells me that it's her personal fb and she doesn't want anything sexual
>I'm ok with it, jokingly send her a PM with an optical illusion of a vagina and ask her if that pic would be fine
>She replied "uhmm no, good bye" and blocks me
>what the fuck
>I text her "Hey I was joking with the second pic! And you know what? I don't feel like you are treating me well enough so I want you to add me to your personal phone"
>She replies "I panicked with the pics, but I'm not adding you as a friend"
>Ok now I'm angry
>"Well gorgeous, if you want to contact me it has to be done trough your personal phone, and I'm not going to continue this convo until then"
>A day passed, no reply
>Man my penis is itchy

I felt sad since I started to feel her more like a friend than my sexual services provider and started losing my hopes of seeing her again.
>>
>>25346413
>Star Wars premiere day, go to the 15:45 screening
>Like a good citizen, put cellphone on airplane mode
>kylo_ren_kills_han_solo.divx
>After the movie, around 19:10 receive a one second voice message from her work phone sent at 18:24
>Hear it, the most pathetic attempt of seductive "hello?" in history
>Reply her with a voice message "Sup gorgeous? I'm sorry I was watching the new Star Wars, what you needed?"
>She texts back almost at midnight asking if I was angry with her
>Tell her no, but I'm kinda sad that I can't talk to her when I want because she doesn't attend her work phone as often, and ask her again that I would want her personal phone"
>She goes silent, whatever
>Next day around 23:36, chatting with a friend over fb, telling him about this girl
>My cellphone rings a new message
>It's the default whatsapp sound, weird
>"hello just to say good night"
>OMG it is her from her personal phone
>"Good night gorgeous, and thank you"
>"Well you said that I should add you to my personal"
>"And I really appreciate it gorgeous"
>"Well you tell me if you want to keep chatting or not"
>"I love talking with you, like I said before"
>"ok, but you keep telling me ugly things"
>"Well that's how I felt, imagine, I want to take you out and 'last time online 2 days ago'. I want certainty"
>"Certainty of what?"
>"That I can still hang with you"
>"That will be until you decide not do it anymore"

Still a better love story than twilight.
>>
>>25346432
So I need to compact things a bit because, if I put them in green text this is going to be huge.

She asks me if I want to see her the next day, I agree and ask her to go see Star Wars (yes, I wanted to see it again 48 hours after). We arrange time and everything. Then during the day she texts me that she has too much work and can't make it on time. I tell her we can change our date so she asks me to meet at a big Walmart a couple of hours after the original time, no biggie.

When I met her she was a bit anxious about some dogs she rescued (remember she considers herself a pet activist) and that she has one of them at the house of her parents so this new dog is going to sleep outside. I hugged her and told her she needs to relax. We went to a nearby beer and wings restaurant to chat. There I was fully examined by her in a very confrontational manner. Fortunately, I love debate and many of her suppositions about me I refuted them concisely, but I agreed with her in some topics. One thing I couldn't agree with her was her view on table dance bars, but anyway, I was the one being examined. Even with the test we had fun and drove her to her parents house. Before she left my car I leaned over to her to kiss her on the cheek and she kissed me in the lips, I kissed her back with single-lip kisses. I got a semi that made me forget that my penis was itchy. After I got to my house I text her to tell her that I'm at home and we chat about the dog she rescued and asked me to help her to find a place to keep the dog.

The next day was rescued dog day, I asked my sister to use her facebook powers to help the prostitute look for a place for the dog. After a few hours she found a place to keep the dog. After she left the dog at the new place she asks me to go with her to her house (not her parents house) so we can pick up another dog. Long story short, we hanged out that day pretty much all the afternoon. We met and leave with hugs and kisses.

they didn't say happy birthday to me this year, we haven't spoken in weeks and i guess i hoped that maybe they still would, but that conversation really mean the end of having a 4 year long (best) friend. :(
7 posts and 3 images submitted.
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>>25346384
atleast your friends din't make fun of you behind your back and spread a rumour that you're a CHILD MOLESTER.
ATLEAST THAT DIN'T FUCKING HAPPEN TO YOU.
>>
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birthday
>>
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>>25346427
maybe if you didn't molest children, things like that wouldn't happen to you, anon.

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Anyone wanna go on a RTW trip with me? I'm tired of this life and want to go on an adventure.

27 year old male btw
10 posts and 1 images submitted.
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sounds fun, not sure if I can afford it though
>>
How much is it? We need details.
>>
is this the same guy as before? I said I wanted to go to Thailand or south america

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Why do normals keep stealing /r9k/ culture?
7 posts and 4 images submitted.
>>
>>25346332
because we rock.
>>
>>25346332
Because its trendy to do so, but they're not edgy to appropriate our school shooter memes yet because they're not really that edgy. They want to give the appearance that they're shy, misunderstood, and cultured. They don't want to portray themselves as a supreme gentleman. This kills the sex life.
>>
>>25346332
we just have to go further. start dressing like this in public.

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>Message read November 11th, 2014
5 posts and 2 images submitted.
>>
Screen it and glean it
>>
Happened to me when I asked her out. A few weeks Later I followed her on instagram and liked one of her pic and she started a new convo with me a few days later while completely ignoring the previous text
>>
I used to communicate with anons on kik pretty regularly but one day i deleted the app and forgot their usernames

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/r9k/ is cancer

Why do I keep browsing this board.

It's worse than a heroin addiction
7 posts and 4 images submitted.
>>
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I will rape your gumball machine
>>
>>25346295
I can't stop either.
It's one of my least hated things in life but it's really bullshit.
I need hobbies or goals or some shit
>>
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>>25346295
>tfw /r9k/ is actually relevant enough to have one of these

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>walk into room
>see this
>what course of action do you take
31 posts and 5 images submitted.
>>
>>25346292

Well.. Is that a gay guy with long hair or a girl with a cock?
>>
>>25346292
>make them turn around
>see if passable grill
>if so proceed to lewd
>>
>>25346304
It's a guy.

facebook com / jackson.black.5891

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Us normies should BRAHHHHHHHH back at them, whos with me! Also the reCAPTCHA is mocking you guys!
4 posts and 2 images submitted.
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haha i found this forum on reddit too it's a funny place haha
>>
youre only hurting yourself by being here normie. we have nothing to lose, but your false sence of reality will be broken. commit sudoku, millions of children have. i guess they understood how dumb life was.
>>
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>>25346327
Like this?

totallyoriginalcomment

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> that boy who sits in the corner and wears a black hoodie
11 posts and 3 images submitted.
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>>25346289
>... is probably a homosex
>>
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>>25346289
Better talk to him before he submits to the beta uprising and shoots up the school
>>
>>25346289
I did that. No one ever came to me. The best thing about sitting in a corner is even if people sit next to you their is still two directions without people.

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>Someone accuses me of samefagging
>they were right
4 posts and 2 images submitted.
>>
>someone posts thread with obvious bait topic
>respond with genuine, thought out response

>>25346135
DEVILISH
E
V
I
L
I
S
H
>>
I'm the worst fucking samefagger, I always feel retarded when I do it, which isn't often
>>
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>>25346135
>pretend to be OP of some post and reply with something that triggers everyone
>it ignites a flame war and hundreds of posts
>in the chaos, a single reply says "that isn't me"
>post completely ignored

Are you a catfish? Spit it out
6 posts and 2 images submitted.
>>
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Yep. I don't find a lot of joy in life other than making guys fall for my fake OKC profiles. It gets easier when you know exactly what to say. Also making some drive for miles for a girl who won't be there.
>>
I scammed a kid out of his $15 invintory in tf2 using a voice changer and some nudes from a folder I found a few years ago.
>>
>>25346233
LEIGH PLEASE COME BACK AND BRING LIFE TO MY DESOLATE EXISTENCE!

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>watching videos on youtube
>people talking to each other, laughing, having a good time, bantering
>pause video
>walk around the room
>start talking as if I'm there and I'm coming up with witty comebacks or dialogue in response to their talking
>go back to video
>repeat ad infinitum
5 posts and 1 images submitted.
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>>25346095
FunHaus is a brilliant channel to do this with, or just to be entertained in general. I mean, if it makes you feel better, give them a watch. It's not really that healthy though, mentally. Don't feel bad though. If that's your thing, go for it.
>>
i thought is was the only one who did this
>>
Having friends sure is good, huh?

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Xd normies reeeeeeeeeeeeee.
right guys le normies le 2d is better than real woman meme.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=khJKv2NTYu4
6 posts and 3 images submitted.
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>>25346124
He's like a greasy Jean Lafitte.
>>
>>25346124
>this whole post

What the fuck is wrong with you
>>
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>>25346124
That guy could be almost chad-tier if he would just get a haircut.

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>mfw Op doesn't respond in his own thread asking for help

Literally why would you ever even make the thread in the first place, you fucking faggot?

If you've done this, FUCK YOU AND FUCK OFF!!
3 posts and 2 images submitted.
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>>25346071
your pic made me kek
>>
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>>25346071
OP is just needing someone to call him a fag and suggest suicide, no discussion needed.

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Can we finally agree women dont have to do shit to live life on easy mode?
6 posts and 1 images submitted.
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>>25346060

he's gay. she is his beard.
>>
I thought we already did.

Women are second class species that in today's society act like a first class species while still maintain the benefits of a second class one.
>>
>>25346060

well yeah so what

as long as they dont pretend to be equal to men i dont care, they have their role and so we do

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