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How is it possible to even get into a situation where you're having sex with your teacher? That's so crazy.
dann she's hot
>>28818574
You have to be Chad.
Also, fuck the robot I don't know what good gook moot thinks this shit does.
Well, this guy did it.
Emmanuel Macron, currently married with his former french teacher.
Now's your chance robots. I know you're tired. Its been a long journey for you.
No please I'm good
>>28818520
Why didn't they just burry the body better.
Kill me, Pete.
hello ratoKill me, Pete
>The final chapter of escortbro's story ends tonight
Who /ready/ here?
Got snacks and all...
>>28818482
Today has been the best day on /r9k/ in a while, so many exceptionally good threads today
>>28818482
Shit, forgot to buy beer. Whatever.
>>28818597
Huh? What was so great besides escortbro?
>>28818482
Never been readier.
36 year old wizard here. A 19 year old girl really likes me, should I go out with her or is the age gap too wide?
>>28818448
Go for it if only to upset roasties who've hit the wall, also for teen puss
>>28818448
gogogogogogogogo
She's more than half your age, so it won't be too bad.
Go for it, brobot. It may be your one chance at love.
itt: feels we know
>when a girl sexually desires you
>>28818410
>tfw your life has meaning
>>28818410
Ah yes, that feel...that feel when I find out a girl likes me, so my retarded autistic brain decides I should avoid her as much as possible and ignore one of my few chances to get a girl. If not that, I end up making a fool of myself and then the girl figures out I am nuts which makes her no longer attractive to me.
>>28818444
Tfw originaI trips
>tfw I just can't stop thinking about female feet, giantesses and both combined ;-;
>>28818347
same, I've been having elaborate dreams on the matter
>having sex with a girl
>midfuck, I shrink into a 7 inch tall boy (that can somehow withstand the weight of a fullsized girl, I guess I'm invincible too)
>she bounces and grinds on my body a few more times before she realizes
>freaks out initially, but then begins to physically and sexually abuse me
>doesn't let me out of her sight, whenever we're in public I am stored between her butt cheeks and stuff like that
>takes me home to share with her mother
>I escape, fashion a spear out of a meat thermometer and go on a grand adventure in the world I used to know
>continue to be used as a human dildo and thrown around and squeezed in armpits, etc on my travels
I'vehad sex with 5 girls, all of them taller and heavier than mebut it's just not the same
the problem with this fetish (i have it too) is that it comes from the pure autistic part of the male sex drive
men always want to worship women and be overwhelmed by their sex parts, but usually it's mediated and downplayed. most normal dudes are content to touch a boob. some guys have to bury their face like an oedipal monster in tits.
we're so fucking autistic that our brains go
>I WISH SHE WAS A GIANT SO SHE COULD SMOTHER ME IN HER BOOB AGAINST HER OTHER BOOB SO I COULD BE MAXIMALLY ENCASED IN A UNIVERSE COMPOSED ENTIRELY OF BOOB HOLY SHIT HER BOOBS ARE SO GOOD I NEED THEM TO BE LITERALLY EVERYTHING THAT EXISTS IN THE ENTIRE COSMOS
and then we spurt it out into threads on 4chan and expect women to understand it, when to them their boobs are just body parts that they notice as often as you notice your elbows
>>28818586
It hurts to have these fetishes ;-;
ROASTIES
B T F O
T
F
O
>yfw even trans faggots don't want outies for their surgery
>they want the best looking pussy they can get, not only for their own satisfaction but for any future relationships and they know other men like innies
>no men want outies, not even men who get their dick chopped off
ROASTIES B T F O
and it of course has nothing to do with the fact that it would be way way harder to make it the other way
>I like both.
>Pussy is pussy.
>Ya'll are pretty fucking choosy for a bunch of perma-virgins.
>>28818241
this looks exactly like my pussy lmaoooo
>working at convenience store, it's slow, nobody around
>guy comes up to my counter asking to buy a cigar
>or maybe a cigarette, no maybe not i don't want the whole thing...
>keeps flip flopping like he's stalling for time
>beginning to suspect that he has ulterior motives
>starts telling a 'funny story' to me about some trip to took
>'yea i went to a farm and cut grass it was rly hard'
>'i'm just a skinny guy i dont have big shoulders like you'
>oh did he complimented my shoulders, is he hitting on me?
>don't actually ask if he's hitting on me he probably isn't
>talk for like 20 minutes just hanging out at my counter
>eventually he leaves the store without buying anything
so... what just happened to me?
He was a faggot.
I used to have a Harley Davidson shirt I wore at work because I wreck them fast. After work I went to get gas and some queer asked me if I had a Harley. I told him it was a thrift store shirt for at work. He rolled his eyes and told me real Harley people don't wear the apparel.
He started acting bubbly almost and told me about how he has 7 txt messages on his phone. At this point I'm starting to get annoyed because I just need to pay for gas and go home.
The queer tells me he has a fast bike and that's all he rides. He pulls out his phone and starts typing, after a few minutes he shows me a picture of a bike on google images telling me it is his.
I wasn't sure if I should laugh or what. I put 30 down and just walked out to the pump.
>>28818206
>used to work at geeksqaud for a year
>helped people with computer problems and shit
>pale guy with a fake mustache walks in (fucking what)
>has 3 external hard drives literally duct taped on the bottom of his laptop
>says his computer has a "virus" and the mouse and keyboard wont work
>tells us he has to leave to do something and he will pick it up tomorrow
>try and fix it because its my job and all
>the fucker put in his mouse cable backwards
>keyboard looks like a unfinished Sudoku puzzle so no wonder it doesn't work
>look through hard drives because shits fun(later fired for this on a separate occasion)
>nigga has about 5 TB of porn on the first two hard drives, nothing special: asian,anal.etc
>third hardrive has a file name "special"
>7TB worth of cheese pizza
>contemplate stealing hard drive
>pussy out and give his shit back next day with a look of worry
>he knew i saw and ran out
>mfw when i held the cheese pizza lottery and GAVE it away to some lardtub of a pedo
>>28819078
what do you want with 7TB of kiddie porn?
what does r9k think of bitcoin
I have 5 buttcoin and want to know what your opinion on the matter is? Am I delusional to think its going to hit 1000 again
>>28818119
A wonderful example of practical importance of IQ. Were mine higher, I would have had the technical and financial knowledge necessessary to spot the opportunity first time I saw it mentioned.
That said, I turned out not really to need money, so it doesn't matter.
>I have 5 bitcoin
gimme some
Also bitcoin is pretty shaky, but it seems to be rising in value. It's a risk, but I'd keep a hold of them.
How did you get your coins?
>>28818180
coinbase
original salami this salami is original
Ever known a cool chad, a chad everyone liked even you? Ever hung out with a cool chad and stacy group?
>>28818075
There was this one super nice chad in my school. He defended me from bullies and joked about it with me. He even brought me to his parties and made people like me. I love you eric
>first day of highschool
>sitting alone at lunch
>football players see me and invite me over
>are actually genuinely-seeming nice and ask my name, how old i am, all this other get-to-know-you stuff
>one in particular became best bud for some reason over WoW (he was a closet player)
>still superclose friends with him 5 years after highschool ended
idk robots, maybe chad isnt as bad as you think...im pretty odd/outsider and i still had a good time
its possible anon!
>>28818228
There's a reason Chad is Chad. Because of the halo effect, everybody has been nice to him his whole life. Thus he gives back to the world what the world gave to him.
I need to get something off of my chest. And off of other parts of me too. I'll explain.
Like you, I used to lock myself in my room. I've made a lot of great strides towards normihood, but I know all too well the terror of social interaction. Mom's friends coming over? Lock the door, headphones on, do not respond to knocking I "couldn't hear any knocking." That's called "plausible deniability." Family party? Just make a plate for me and bring it in here, mom.
Which brings me to the saucy curse whose burden I can share with only you rejects.
It was a summer barbecue that ruined my life. I was in my room playing return to castle wolfenstein when I had mom make me a plate. Barbecue chicken, corn, salad, some chocolate cake for dessert... and beans. A heaping pool of steaming beans.
I ate intermittently between rounds.
It was surely some jovial trickster demon that made the internet go out that day. My connection was usually rock-solid.
So here I am, windows taped shut with black electrical tape, air conditioner on full blast, and no internet to help me pretend that all my smart-mouthed cousins and back-patting uncles didn't exist by blasting nazis.
What to do? Masturbate, of course. I looked in my archives for a video. I settled on an appropriately big-titted whore in a pixelated gangbang. Quality was low back then. I get to business.
Internet back on. No warning. Game's starting. Countown to nazi blasting: 8, 7, 6...
Fuck it, I'll finish this chilly boner off later.
As I ready the controls, my mom-assembled summery barbecue plate tumbles, overlooked in my jittery addition to online murder. My rigid cock is now covered in a rich, tomatoey sauce.
Sigh.
There's time to clean up after this round.
I hear new sounds. Was there a sound package in the new update? No... it sounds like... girls laughing?
Continued...
Yes very choice, more please
MORE NOW OP HURRY THIS IS QUALITY
>>28818062
hurry up op
originalo
>be me years ago
>wee lad
>lightly bullied in school
>regular friends form a separate friend circle
>they shy away from me
>never invited anywhere
>no girls like me
>move countries after it was time to study in a university
>did it, it has been 4 years after graduating school
>in uni now
>bullying went away but nothing else changed
>literally almost no friends
>install tinder
>matched with a few every like 5 months
>buy premium tinder out of curiosity
>swiping around the world
>swipe in my home country
>50 fucking matches in like 30 hours
>60% of them message me first
>not even spam bots
>they're good looking
What the fuck is going on? I don't think I've grown out of my average looks. I'm 5'9''. I'm not rich. I'm kind of socially retarded. And now this shit happens. I'm confused.
Tinder story, experiment, whatever the fuck thread go.
>>28818054
>implying i have enough self esteem to get tinder
Firstly, why would you install it, secondly why would you pay for it, thirdly, if no girls liked you, why are they swiping now.
>>28818594
because I am lonely as fuck and my mum literally messages me like every week asking if I got a girl or some shit. It got to me.
I paid 3 pounds for a month. I fucking ate a sandwich more expensive than this today. I'm not rich, but I'm not broke.
That's why I'm so confused. Maybe they think I'm smart as fuck and they're the type of women that sucked all those chad dicks but now want to leech off of a guy so a dude who studied abroad and went through several countries seems like the perfect cuck target?
What happens if you never get over your anxiety?
I've been thrown in the deep end, social interaction wise, but I'm not getting desensitized
Visit Dr. Shlomo
>>28818266
I mean without drugs or therapy. I-I'm stronger t-than that, dammit
>>28818298
No you're not. Be real with yourself
http://vidmax.com/video/139434-Child-abuse-or-discipline-Dad-boxes-his-17yr-old-son-beats-him-bloody#:2x
What do you guys think of this? Is this child abuse? Is it wrong to discipline a teenager like this?
I for one think this is a very respectable punishment and I have a lot of respect for this dad.
To be honest, I respect the guy for at least also giving his son a chance to fight back and potentially kick his ass and show him who's boss.
Most abusive parents wouldn't give them that
>>28818103
Exactly. He's also teaching his son how to fight. Notice how he's giving him pointers early on in the fight. When I was like 7 my dad took me into a ghetto ass boxing gym in Detroit to teach me how to box. You bet your ass I cried like a little pussy and didn't appreciate it at the time, but looking back that was one of the greatest things my dad ever did for me.
>>28818028
The only thing I disagree with is posting it online
>humiliating his son (the ass kicking is enough)
>snitchin on yoself (lel)
>just making yourself look dumb, like most parents that are facebook active
I guess you gotta teach em somehow. Luckily for Dad, the kid is an even worse fighter than his father. If that was me that fight would've been over real quick. 2bh.
What was the first day of high school like for you anon?
>>28818010
Don't remember, can't help you brah
I started late and watched a black kid go to jail when I went to registered
>>28818010
>dressed myself in all black
>told my parents not to walk me to school
>imagined myself getting there and chatting everybody up, having a good time
>showed up one hour early
>didn't know that classes started 1 hour later
>got my schedule and found my first class
>stood outside the class trying to look as cool as possible
>head down, arms crossed, one foot against the wall
>eventually recognize someone i saw in middle school
>walked around with him for 10 minutes in silence
>he finds his friends and i'm back to leaning against to walls
>classes begin and i'm sitting by myself or next to people i don't know
>have to fill out the "find someone who..." for most classes
>average about 4/25 names
>half days so i walk home early by myself
for all you youngins out there, the first day of high school is a snap shot of how the next 4 years will play out. make sure you don't blow it.
