Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 4168. page
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Livin' my life like its golden
>>27608652
All I do is golden, working more than saffran, plasmas, all my TV's plasmas, you can see the patterns in my pasion
J-Jill Scott thread?
>>27608652
thats good to hear my friend. advice i think we should all follow.
I'm straight but I want to mess around with a guy, nothing gay I just have a cock fetish
I'm not gay but I like it when a bunch of guys cum on me at once.
>>27608565
I'm straight but I'm a guy attracted to guys. Nothing gay though of course.
Gee, wiz. if you're straight and have a cock fetish, there is no way you're looking me in the eye and saying you're a hetero, you sir are a fucking faggot.
The sooner you accept this, you will be happy.
Nothing wrong with sucking cock, unless you do it wrong.
But what do I know, I suck pussy.
Same thing in the end.
you're gay.
Hey fellow ?r9k/ I'm a fat 33 year old guy with shot knees, who happen to be unemployed. How do I get a girlfriend?
>>27608484
You should focus on losing weight, getting a job and improving your overall health.
Then get a girlfriend.
>>27608484
You have chosen a life of magic OP. At 33 years old there is no coming back, become the wizard you were born to be
>>27608673
And what am I expected to do as a wizard?
>potatoes are going to college and living meaningful lives
>robots jack off all day and watch anime and complain how life aint fair
>>27608399
Universities hand out acceptance letters to downsies all the time.
It's just a nice thing to do. They don't actually attend.
We are not all raised and nurtured under the same conditions.
We do not all share the same neuropathology.
We all have different measures of happiness and success.
I don't give a shit what a potato is doing to feel relevant. I don't care what you think I should be doing to feel relevant.
But you probably know all of this and just wanted some upvotes. So, here you go.
>implying life has any inherent meaning
> 2016
> being full of shit
I'm cleaning out the old shitbox today because pooping is love, pooping is life.
I need recipes for practically shitting out a lung, right now I'm going to drink senna tea steeped for 25 mins accompanied by a fiberous nutritional salad.
Post in this bread if you're trying to take the shit of your life.
>>27608217
I have been waiting for this thread
I am sitting on the toilet just fingering Mas ass hole after eating nothing but spinach salad and dayquill for 2 days.
>>27609426
how long before 3rd impact
>>27609526
I have been just passing little poops for a while but I will soon be getting rid of a long tube of mucus. I have detached the shower head and have been using it as an enema.
Feels good man
When did 4chan stop being hostile to tourists?
One of the things that made 4chan a genuinely interesting place unlike other websites was that it actively repelled new users. While other websites crave new blood, 4chan was telling them to lurk more or fuck off. Now posters copy&paste content straight from reddit and nobody cares. There were other measures besides a unified front against unwanted people & content. Posters would spam gore to derail unwanted threads. At the time I thought gorespammers were unsightly, but now I realize they were like the white blood cells of 4chan. A nature defense that repelled the most casual invaders. Because of this, there are people who used to be actually SCARED of 4chan. Its reputation kept some of the worst trash away
When's the last time you saw someone tell an obvious redditor to lurk more?
>When did 4chan stop being hostile to tourists?
???
People tell each other to fuck off back to rebbit all the time. I bet you also think /b/ was good at some point, faggot.
waifuism used to be the white blood cells but waifuism is basically dead. 4chan is too normie friendly now. there are people on this board that actually wouldn't drink their waifu's urine. fucking degenerates.
>>27607643
>muh seekrit club
instead of crying about it with your faggy /pol/-tier whine meta thread, why don't you fire up your botnet and spam a thread you don't like with gore?
oh yeah because you don't know how because you're also a fucking redditor
Am I supposed to use warm water or cold water when washing dark clothes
>>27607622
Use cold water all the time.
Unless you like faded clothes.
>>27607649
or you could just follow the directions on the label instead of thinking you know better than everyone.
>>27607622
>sorting clothes ever
all you have to do is throw all the clothes (except the stretchy ones and and white shirts) into the washing machine and select cold and bulky and set dirt level all the way up
r9k's family vacations! :D
How were they? Fun and relaxing little getaways during your youth that let you escape from all your worries and troubles from back home, or concentrated trauma that you still try to forget to this day?
For me it was always something like this
>be woken up at ? AM
>don't have time for breakfast
>dad is yelling the entire time
>we get in the car
>there is shit packed all over the place including on the seats and the floor
>highly uncomfortable
>dad yells at us to not put anything out of place
>he finishes strapping things to the roof of the car or stuffing it in the trunk, while yelling at no one in particular
>mom is just sitting there with a fake nervous smile on her face
>he gets in the car
>mom asks him if he remembered to bring some thing
>he yells at her
>slams the car door
>runs inside to get the thing
>gets back in the car
>yells at us to get our seatbelts on
>start driving away
>yells at other people driving
>I eat a granola bar or something
>he yells at me to not get fucking crumbs all over the damn car seat
>finally go to sleep to the sounds of my dad yelling
>wake up
>we're in a camping ground
>dad yells at us to get out
>he starts throwing coolers and bags of shit on the ground
>he starts to fight with the tent
>yells at it in the hopes that'll be easier to assemble that way
>mom tries to help
>he yells at her
>I start to wander off
>he yells at me to not go far
>I sit in the outhouse and have diarrhea while crying
No one? ;_; Everyone is too busy NEETposting and arguing about trannies?
>>27607391
They were always hell. Parents always fought. For some reason it was always 100+ degrees or 0- degrees on these trips. The only thing I liked about them were the water slides at some of the hotel pools.
I haven't been on a water slide in a long time. I wanna go on a water slide.
>get torn out of bed 4am
>drive 13 hours to visit gramma n grampa
>it's 110 degrees no clouds
>car has no ac because parents poor
>parents fighting
>siblings fighting
>arrive exhausted
>gran and gramps want to take us to Yellowstone the following day
>torn out of bed 5am
>drive 3 hours to Yellowstone just to eat in some shirts hotel restaurant then drive back
>more fighting
Can people sense if you've just taken a shit?
Whenever I take a shit, I'm too self conscious about it. I feel like people can tell that I just took a shit. Maybe they can smell the individual shit molecules on my clothes or something. Or just that the leftover shit particles in my ass hair stink, I don't know. So whenever I take a shit, I prefer to take a shower right after.
Anyone else know this feel?
Sir you require a bum gun
That's why you need to tell everyone you meet "I didn't just take a shit if you're wondering."
did you never learn how to properly wipe your ass, you retard?
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How do your daydreams about love tend to go? How do you suspend disbelief imagining a girl being interested in you (i.e., for what reasons do you imagine she is attracted to you)?
>>27606866
yea same dude
I don't need to daydream disbelief. I have a girl interested in me, and I'm interested in her.
>>27606866
I have a really stupid one but I love it
>qt starts talking to me
>she is impressed by my quick wit and dgaf attitude
>I pull out a cigarette and light it
>She says "um you know smoking is really unattractive"
>I blow smoke out and say "why should I care what you find attractive"
>walk away
>she wants me so badly
Robots, I think my mental state is deteriorating due to lack of social contact. I say words to people to get through the day but I haven't had a conversation in months. Is there a way to trick my brain into thinking that I have positive social experiences regularly?
I really don't want it to come down to having to talk to an actual person, but I feel like if I don't do something this will have an irreversible effect on my brain.
watch anime senpai
skype with people or whatever
>>27606821
This doesn't help. Play games like CS and TF2 and use a mic.
w-what does girl hair smell like
>>27606683
Smell like bags of sand
>>27606683
Old cum
>>27606683
salty coins and milk
saltybloxx
Normies... Its about time we seize these barbarians.
Normies attack!
>I have a successful career
>my mother is proud of me
>ive fucked several 8/10s
>I have no mental illness
>im a 8/10 in looks
>i could have a girlfriend if I wanted to, but psh, fuck that
>tfw weird, sad boy, shut ins, look at you out of there window while you drive by getting a blowy from a teen age girl.
>>27606658
don't worry normie after a week here,you will start to hate women and love traps
>>27606658
you are still a disgusting normie. Not to mention all the bitches were probably still filled with others guys cum.
>I feel fantastic
>I have 3 girlfriends all 9/10
>threesom every Friday
>father pays for all my needs
>rich family
>fulfilled in every way
Anyone here applying to do it for free?
>>27606280
no cuz when you think about it, why the fuck would you work for free
>>27606280
I'm considering it. Anyone else?
>>27606324
a real jannie does it for free
