Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 6416. page
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About to get another 14 hour sleep, wake up then play vidgya. After that I'll go to my local Subway and get a sub hand-crafted by a professional sandwich artist... What are you doing tomorrow?
OH WAIT
>>25476370
Hate myself for leeching off my parents and having absolutely no characteristics of an independent adult.
Just like every day.
>>25476370
>I'll go to my local subway
You mean your mummy will go for you or you'll ride down on your mobility scooter.
>>25476370
I'm going to make another thread to make me feel better about my shitty life choices.
>ex gf of a year said she feels like I'm just using her for sex
Ummm. hELLO!!
I wouldn't even bother with women and just play vidya, drink good drink and eat good food if it wasn't for sex
>>25476335
what did you tell her
if you let her know she will not fuck you again
>>25476335
>using a woman for sex
scum guy, always the asshole that gets the girl
>use gf for sex for almost 2 years
>end up get emotionally attached
>end up getting cucked
Just make sure you don't follow my path
been getting feelings of impending doom lately
join the club.
feels like the sky is going to fall.
you feel it too, dont you?
>original.
Same
Also getting consistent waves of that feeling you get when you have depression
fuck
Who here /notafraidofchinesepeople/?
fuck that.
fucking chinks are taking over the world
flooding tourist locations
taking over markets and industries
fuck the chinese mate, they should all die.
im not afraid of them, im just creeped out by them. east asians look gross and their faces don't display emotions very well.
>Afraid of a race of manlets
The only scary thing is that they can be really autistic.
I discovered last night that alcohol turns me into a Chad
I accidentally wandered into a normie party, don't ask how, and I drank alcohol for the first time, having never been in situation with drinking because beta, I don't know what happened, but I basically went full alpha and lost my virginity to a Stacy within 2 hours. After I woke up the next morning in bed with a bunch of Stacies, some a few Chads who had also slept the night came up to me as I was leaving and said I was "one of the best partiers ever" or some shit, but all I managed to do was spill spaghetti. I have all these normies messaging me now and I don't know what to do.
What should I use my knew found powers to do fellow robots?
Why do people keep posting these bullshit fucking stories? Are they honestly unaware of how easy they are to see through, or do they just want to see how a conversation where everyone pretending would unfold anyways?
>>25476130
become the liquor senpai
Dude
Continue and don't stress too much, people accept you now. They'll remember who you were that night. You've made your proof for them. That was you acting the other night.
Just let them talk to you, slowly start to know them knowing that they accept you, stop stressing that they'll reject you, and for fuck's sake realize that for onw night of your life you were a chad. I mean, they'll understand that you may be more awkward when sober, but hey, who's not?
How big do you think a Space Marine's dick is?
They do have a huge liver and a couple hearts right?
They probably don't have any sort of large dicks. Serves no combat purpose.
>>25476232
I'm not harassing girls anymore. Will you be my friend now?
>>25476249
You had a gf so literally never
I don't befriend nonvirgins
>Gain free tickets to AnvilFest 2015
>It's some sort of Anvil Concert for Anvil Hoarders.
>The Anvil Hoarders (1930) are playing so I figure why not?
>I enter the concert hall
>I am the only one without an Anvil Hoarders band shirt or anvil, feel slightly silly
>The Anvil Hoarders come onto the stage, everyone is smashing their anvils in delight
>The noise is unbearable and there are sparks and pieces of crab flying everywhere
>One man lets go of his hammer mid-air and it kills his wifes son with a blow to the head
>A spark settles on a bottle of piss and catches fire
>The fire spreads hastily, half the place is on fire and the exits are unreachable
>Some realise what a terrible mistake they have made
>In their regret, they try bargaining off their anvils to other anvil hoarders
>I couldn't quite hear the replies, but it seemed as if many of them had too many anvils as it was
>By this time, more than 3/4 of the people are either severely burned, or dead
>Screams of "When will I be rid of this anvil?!" fill the air
>I make my way to the corner of the hall and sob whilst in the fetal position
>After what feels like a life time, I see firefighters flood the entrance
>By this time I am the only one left alive, the concert hall is a nightmare of corpses and anvils
>The Anvil Law in my city states that if you witness the death of an anvil owner, you now own his anvil
>A firefighter comes over to me and checks if I am OK
>I am in shock and panic, and all I can think about is how many anvils I now own
>"Would you like an anvil?" I ask him, hardly able to string a sentence together
>He states he has too many as it is
>The enormity of my involuntary possession of all these anvils overwhelms me
>I grab the nearest rogue hammer and star blugeoning the man
>All I can scream is "When will I be rid of these anvils?!"
>Now doing life in prison for neglecting my duty as a citizen to adopt the deceased mens anvils
Check my anvils
>be at my grandfathers house back when i was young
>he points at an anvil that sits perched on a pedestal on next to the stove
>tells me about the screening of The anvil hoarders (1930) he went to see when it was fresh out
>ask him if i can smash my hammer on his anvil
>he gives me an approving nod as i unsheathe my hammer
>i slam my hammer as hard as i can on the anvil, sparks flying everywhere, my ear drums ringing
>can see my grandfathers eyes light up with joy in a nostalgic way
>suddenly the hammerhead gets loose and flies across the room in full galore
>everybody walk the dinosaur
Is this the latest epic meme?!
>Cant join the army because I have a small varicocele
>had surgery on it and it mostly disappeared but its still a tiny bump
WHAT THE FUCK DO I DO NOW?!
The army was literally the only hope I had of getting a job that had insurance and would provide me with training
JUST
FUCK
MY
SHIT
UP
are you in america? have you considered becoming a sailor for the merchant marine?
>>25476093
I literally have no skill or training in either of those, I dont even know how to tie a cleat, and im sure they wouldn't just hire me if I watch youtube vids and read a book of nautical terms
Im 22 and have been a line cook making 11.50 an hour for 4 years now!
LMAO!!
>>25476055
be thankful, no you dont have to die for rich assholes
Well actually we made out. It was p nice desu. She wanted to stop after a minute though because... I'm not sure why. We're really good friends so I guess that's why she wanted to. She said she liked it but I'm not sure it will happen again
[spolier]I also touched her boob[/spoiler]
>>25475997
> She wanted to stop after a minute though because... I'm not sure why
because you're a fucking terrible kisser
>She said she liked it
if she like it she wouldn't have wanted to stop and would've wanted to fuck
>>25476043
Well the thing is fucking is/was out of the question because we weren't alone in my house. And I'm pretty sure she doesn't want to because of a lot of reasons you wouldn't understand.
Pls no bully. And I probably am a bad kisser. I've never done it before.
>>25476162
the reason she kissed you was because she was interested, the reason she stopped is because you're fucking terrible at it
end of story
>fuck was out of the question
then you guys would've still made out and then finished the fucking/undressing part later
>b-b-buh my reasons
you can make out with a girl for hours and she'll still call it addicting if you're not shit
Does anybody on /r9k/ have a Wikipedia page?
yes me
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anonymous
>>25475993
My dad does, I'm obviously not going to link you too it though so you'll just have to believe me...
>>25476149
What does he have it for? How long is it?
i can't feel >mfw i'm with you
but i love it
>>25475922
If you can think you are still very useful.
I assume you don't have much in the way of motivation?
>>25475922
That's a stupid way to meme. Just die, no body likes you.
I'm that nigga talkin bout popin pills, fukin bitches *spin move*
go tell ya friends about it...
I lost mine to pic related. Did it behind her husbands back.
>>25475917
Lost your dignity there as well.
>>25475951
Better than to keep it.
>>25475917
normiREEEEEEEEEEEEEEE leave!
>drink tons of water
>eat nothing but meats,vegs,nuts,seeds
Zero sugar or carbs
Feel 1000x better
Why don't you meme your diet ?
>>25475892
wrong board FA/\/\.
>>25475892
I used to drink only water
my pee was fucking beautiful
annnnnnd its alll over!!!
fight brought to you by burger king, back to you Joe..
How /desperate/ for love are you?
>be a 25 yo virgin
>go out on date wth qt I get along with really well (we met online dating)
>dates going great, end up kissing
>talk about how we wouldn't fug unless we were in a committed relationship
>doesn't text me for 2 days
>finially start talking again
>they tell me about dating other people and how bad they want to fug me
What?
I tried to be friends with them, but they kept making it sexual so I figured there was something there
Today they tell me about someone they're seeing that they really like but that person wants to wait till marriage.
Says something about fucking me to relieve the stress of not fucking the prude
I told them I didn't want to talk to them anymore (because even I can see they just want sex) and they sent me pic related
I might still talk to them because I'm so desperate and alone
>>25475844
I'd talk to them desu, even if it's shallow it's some kind of companionship right?
>>25475844
I think it's important to stick to your standards on not give in here. If you keep talking to this person, it'll likely be for the wrong reasons. However, I might be projecting my own morality onto you here. I'd take some time to think about the consequences of the two paths. If you do see this person on almost a purely physical basis, do you think you'd come to regret it?
>>25475844
You're a woman aren't you? It sounds like you're a woman by avoiding their gender. Fucking off roastie
who /comfy/ here?
>just popped 6 benadryl and packed a fat bong
in an hour or two I'll be feeling max comfy
I just listened to this one anon, it's super comfy. Tell me what you think?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jqkPqfOFmbY
>>25475829
christ you seem like an insufferable person
>>25475829
I'm rolling on like 0.2 of M and high as well.
