Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 6298. page
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Some girl gave me her number. Do I just text her lets get drinks sometime? What do? I dont know how into girls and dont like texting.
you never call her
Discard it. If she tries to initiate contact, block her.
You're saving yourself a lot of pain and misery in the long run, especially if she's only pretending to like you. (Lost a bet with her friends, just wants a free meal ticket, whatever the reason.)
if she gave you her number, she's given other guys her number
>be me
>on /pol/
>post satirical thread about the benefits of killing yourself
>obvious satire and comedy, even with 'testimonials'
>I repeat: explicitly satirical
>everytime I do it I get several replies of christcucks talking about suicide being a sin, going to hell, etc
Why are christcucks so fucking retarded?
>>25549428
>i-I h-h-HAVE TO g-GO TO c-c-CHURCH CUZ THERE'S 12 FAT ATHEIST ON THE INTERNET
>he thought the christ posters were being serious and werent shitposting in a shitpost thread
id post a epic meme but im too tired to
>>25549566
>he thought the accusation of christ posters being serious is serious and not shitposting in a shitpost board
Why are tripfags so fucking annoying?
>>25549409
they try to have an identity in a place that was founded on the concept of anonymity
most of them say "m8"
most second on reddit
most lie either about being happy to seem superior, or more sad than other people to seem worse-off
all are faggots
>>25549460
Actually the only reason I use one is so you can tell who is who in a thread. Aka single out the retard saying dumb shit acting like a 12 year old.
>>25549460
>most of them say "m8"
don't bring m8 into it, m8.
it's better than f-a-m, senpai
>tfw dog dies
>tfw overheard mommy tell my sister to cheer me up because "that was his only friend"
>tfw sister ughs
>>25549263
It only proves how shitty of people they are anon
>>25549263
i feel bad for you bro, dogs really are a man's best friend
All women are evil cunts, OP. Now you have no friends.
What did everyone want to do when they grew up? I always wanted to be an anime watching action figure collecting neet that lived in a small apartment. Now that I'm an adult and work full time and take night classes to be an electrician i can't help but feel like i let myself down.
I wanted to fly the Space Shuttle.
I legit cried when Columbia burned up over Texas because deep down I knew that it spelled the end of the Shuttle program forever.
>>25549453
The shuttle was a big piece of shit. The perfect example of a piece of junk designed by committee.
Originally NASA just wanted a re-usable man-rated launch vehicle. Then the air force decided it needed a huge cargo bay and robotic arm so it could literally grab Soviet satellites and bring them back. Then NASA decided it also needed insane cross-range capability, so the vehicle had to also be able to glide and turn like an aircraft.
It ended up doing none of those things. The only re-usable parts were the crew areas and the robotic arm. The engines all had to be replaced constantly. The solid rocket boosters and big orange tank had to be replaced after every flight. It never did use that arm to steal Soviet satellites, because it's completely fucking stupid. And out of only 135 missions, the shuttle blew up twice. That's a 1/68 failure rate. That's HORRIBLE.
People always act like the Soviets had no concern for human life when it came to their space program. They lost 5 cosmonauts in their entire space program. We lost 14 on the shuttles alone.
>>25549675
>They lost 5 cosmonauts in their entire space program. We lost 14 on the shuttles alone.
Not including training accidents and testing accidents, both programs had the same amount of catastrophic failures. Two.
The difference is that Soyuz 1 had a single person crew, and Soyuz 11 had a three person crew. The Challenger and Columbia both had seven person crews.
Also the point of this thread isn't to argue about if the shuttle program was good or not, it's about childhood goals.
I thought they were fucking cool and wanted to fly one. Them being huge pieces of shit didn't matter to me when I was fucking 7 years old and got to see one take off for the first time.
What are you experiences with telling female friends how you feel about them?
I want to marry my female friend. We've known each other for 15 years, almost half our lives now.
As far as I'm aware she has no idea that I've ever been interested in her during this time, let alone would want her to be my wife. I honestly can't believe she's still single.
I understand this is pathetic but is there any way to turn a friend of so many years into a lover? I'm skeptical but interested in your thoughts.
>>25549159
every time i've caught feelings for a female friend, it's because i thought she had feelings for me too
every time i caught feelings for a female friend, i thought telling her would be the greatest thing to ever happen to me
every time i caught feelings for a female friend, i contemplated when to ask her out somewhere as a date for at least two weeks
every time i caught feelings for a female friend, i told them
every time i caught feelings for a female friend, they were leading me on
every time i caught feelings for a female friend, they "totally have the hots for Chad"
every time i caught feelings for a female friend, i've left the experience a little more dead inside
don't do shit until you're 100% sure she wants you. don't fucking do anything
>Thanks for telling me but I don't feel that way about you.
or
>Aww, that's sweet
>>25549159
Get somewhat drunk together and make a move, no faggot love declarations. If it works, great, if not it won't ever happen anyway.
Tinder
>is it for normies?
>is it worth it?
>what do i write in my description? (weight? height? interests?)
>any other tips?
also share experiences
>yes but who cares
>kinda
>hobby and general info
Also, use a pic you didn't take yourself, selfies are for loosers and girls
Don't write your weight or height, even if you have a Chad body. It will just attract roasties.
>>25549152
dude if you want some fuck just go to a party
go to a collage or suburb and look for one
or wait till the summer and drive through the backwoods and keep an eye out for bon fires
just show up with a few bottles of whiskey or a case of beer and they will let you hang
Real talk, is fapping to futanari porn gay? I'm not attracted to men, but seeing a big ass dick on a qt girl just turns me on for some reason.
It ain't gay to fuck a biological woman, and that includes futas.
Dude of course not, come on now.
>>25549117
it's not.
what was you first exual encounter? exactly. it was your penis.
what did you clutch to all the time as a boy? exactly it's your penis.
theres isnt any other part of our body we spend more time thinking about, then our penis.
also, vaginas... being as nice as they are... always stay foreign territory.
but your penis will never betray you.
penis is love
penis is life
Are you sticking to your new year's resolution you fat lazy fucks ?
Here's mine i stole and modified from an anon.
>excersise daily two of the following, pushups, pullups, dips, crunches, dumbbells
> study at least 2 hours a day for all subjects
>start eating right to see improvement improvement in body
>study a new language for around 20 minutes a day, currently french
>run 3 times a week
>learn how to build a house and grow vegetables
Currently struggling with the french.
What's yours ?
source or more of that girl? kinda wanna break my no fap streak
>>25549027
>>25549027
"friends" dragging me to the gym , turns out my body is actually good but ill guess ill go there since my crush comes with us
Man up and kill myself
Game over boys
Long distance girlfriend just moved into a solo apartment. First thing she does is tell me about how she met a "super fucking massive guy" that lives next door and how she felt like a "deer in the headlights", completely unable to speak.
I mean, if she considers him huge I'm fucked, seeing as I'm 6'10.
What do I do?
>>25549006
>LDRs
It was over before it even began.
>>25549006
Break up with her. Now.
>>25549006
>6'10"
I want a picture of this now you cunt
'Operation Le Cookies'
>1. Change your youtube name to Jeff Seid
>2. Copy the real Jeff Seids profile pic and set is as your own
>3. Comment CRAP and harass his subscribers in the comment section
>4. Up vote Jeff Seid comments
>5. Flag and Report real Jeff Seid videos so that they will be formatted into 18+ sign in to view
>6. Bump thread
Pic related
first video
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P7aoKW6bxrk
>>25548990
fuck off back to 8gag, we don't need this kinda shit here
>>25549009
fuck off you beta
How do I talk to girls? How do I make them like me?
If you came here genuinely looking for answers and not for meme answers, the answer is to not give a fuck about them. This of course only works if you are somewhat attractive. But if you are not grotesque looking, listen to me. Don't give a fuck about what they think of you, even if you think you really like them. Treat them like anyone else. Say and do what you want with them. Do not care what they think. And that is literally the only secret
>>25548839
Lets get one thing straight, they will never like 'you' the person. Just 'you' the shit you buy them and status you give them. So either be ripped as fuck with a god tier jawline and a big wallet or find something else to obsess over.
>>25548839
Treat every girl you meet like another bro and, god willing, eventually one of them won't be a roastie and will be a female bro that occasionally wants to ride your dick like a horse jockey. Just don't get hung up when a girl doesn't want you, 99.9% of women are whores and believe me (coming from a guy who was cheated on by three different exes because "they were drunk") your life will be so much better if you treat them like mild material possessions until you find your girl-bro
good luck finding your 0.1%
How do I write my suicide note, /r9k/?
You don't, suicide notes don't ever bring about any positive results.
google "suicide partner" and you can find someone to commit suicide with you, in less than a week. Have one of them pretend to murder you.
>>25548891
>You don't, suicide notes don't ever bring about any positive results.
Why?
Also thanks for the suicide partner thing, the idea of having someone by my side during ending my life sounds comforting.
>>25548797
I would give you a hug if you lived near me Anon.
I was just warming up my anus in the shower when I slipped off and the dildo went far too inside hurting myself badly.
Aside from that I clogged the drain trying to squeeze shit through it and shitty water has flooded half the apartment, long story short:
My tummy burns in the inside now, shit all over the floor and my parents come in 1 hour.
Holee sheet what do I tell people at the hospital
I would probably just kill myself rather than deal with that situation.
>>25548784
no no, there hast to be a way
how do I get ride of the evidence?
Even tripfags are saying to give up on women. Why are you still trying?
>>25548546
>implying tripfags are an authority or anything beyond sucking cock
>>25548546
This is the first time OP ever turned off his trip.
>>25548546
>Even tripfags
What? Are you fucking five? Tripfags are insects
