Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 1600. page
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Brand new stats thread
>>29281735
Lay it on me nice and easy
>>29281735
larger stats chart
>>29282526
Good tastes. I'm not partial to Nietzsche, though. Also:
>0 intelligence
You're too modest.
My boyfriend is a chubby geek with no fashion sense (I happen to think he is perf and adorable but accept that most other people would disagree) and I love the shit out of him because he's sweet as fuck, makes me laugh, and he's intelligent and interesting as a person. He also loves me and makes me feel wanted. It's not that hard people! Put down the protein shake and get a personality, you'll be golden.
Got it?
>>29309437
Eh, you're probably ugly as fuck
>>29309465
Ahah roasted
>>29309437
I think the faulty assumption here is that
1) Everyone here has bad personalities (I'll grant you a lot do)
2) You can 'get' a better one
It's true that personality is paramount, but it's not that simple
ask a 29 yo guy who never touched a boob anything
>>29309293
hahahah keke bro xddddd
>>29309326
Respect the almost-wizard, you cheeky imp.
Are you sad for your lack of female interaction, or you don't care? Or were sad about it and stopped caring over time?
Would you hug an Ayano?
No
Oregano posuto
>>29309115
Why not?
She's very huggable
>>29309100
i heard they have cooties and i'm not sure if it's safe tbqh
Bed time, wagecuck. Nighty night. See you in the morning. Be sure to get plenty of restful sleep.
I can't take it anymore. Why me?
Jokes on you NEETphag I work the night shift
I have the rest of the week off but I'm still heading to the office. How does it feel to not know what dedication is, Neetie?
>24year old khv weeb neet
>parents forcing me to go to their co-workers child sweet 16
>going to be filled with normie kids and parents
REEEEEEEEEEEE
bring your daki and show it off to the kids
>>29309071
I'm a neet which means no income which means no daki
>>29309102
You seem nice I am 24 and a neet too so tou want to be my friend?
Due to the recent influx of normalfaggots, women and general normie sympathizers, I feel that all robots should be reminded of this.
DO NOT REPLY TO NORMALFAGS
Even docile normalfags will, upon being replied to in any fashion, begin to weave their web of influence into the fibers of the board. Normies can not be allowed to be made comfortable here, they can not be included in any discussion, they are to be treated as if they do not exists, as if they were shadowbanned.
We robots are, and have always been, the true inheritors of this piece of shit failure board. United in feels, our poopjugs runneth over, the normies will be routed and destroyed as they have been countless times before.
kek. Normalfags are aussies!
>>29308774
>DO NOT REPLY TO NORMALFAGS
not replying to shitty bait threads would do more good.
>>29308934
The problem with that is robots' existences are so boring we'll reply just for the heck of it.
How do I get a tomoko gf?
You don't, because Tomoko girls aren't real. And even if they are, they'd probably ignore you and lust over Chad.
>>29308746
It's next to impossible
You should just give up.
They want chad anyway
all girls are the same
ITT: Post qt traps
Traps ftw
>>29308701
He's be like a 10 in san quentin
>>29308701
Didn't you domestic terrorists learn your lesson the first time?
After you've moved far far away from people you knew, is it even worth keeping in contact?
You'd be lucky if 1 in 100 make any effort to maintain contact with you.
I've moved and keep in contact only with a small handful of people
Making friends at uni is worst.
>have two really good friends
>they all live in different cities, see them only during semesters
>they're all equally autistic as me so it feels like home
>about to graduate in a year
I guess i'll try staying in touch after we graduate but i don't know how that'll work out. These guys are probably the only real companions i've ever had.
I hate working so fucking much.
It's not even the physical act of work that bothers me, it's dealing with the people and stress. I'm 19 and a cashier at a grocery store. I am constantly stressed out by customers and the thought I might get someones change wrong. What are some jobs with minimal human contact?
Here's your escape plan, meng
www.earlyretirementextreme.com
This should be in the sticky, honestly
>>29308688
Is that you, Jacob? Seems like he would lurk here
>>29308736
Heh, no, I'm definitely not Jacob. I'm just spreading the word. Seems like this board needs to hear this.
>be me, clearly a beta with no purpose in life
>in a shared college flat
>chillin' with some dudes playing fifa on xbox
>someone knocks door
>it's pizza delivery
>I pay everything, open things and realize my peperoni pizza is fucked up
>dudes start eating, I try to call pizza shop for claiming another one totally free due to their ineptitude.
>somehow I mistake the number (using register not contacts) and call my gf
>I hung up, call the right place and agree to pay the deliver tax only
>gf texts me asking whats happening
>reply with nothing, I confused number
>she asks if I'm coming to party this night
>"yep", I haven't had sex for like one month at this moment, so this way I could fuck her after party as always
>play some fifa, peperoni arrives, now its fixed
>open some beers for relax
>typical dude brought some weed
>we relax until 2am
>everyone feels ready to go
>I can't, feel dizzy, try to get up but
>vomit all around the floor, there it goes fuckin pizza
>they tell me to rest
>now, lonely in this place, with nobody to fuck and trying not to cry
>life sucks
>>29308235
>beta with no purpose in life
>has friends and a gf
fuck
off
>>29308270
This board is the most easiest to trigger I swear.
Like FUCKING NORMIES BOO HOO REEEE bunch of fucking edgy teens and fedora basement dwellers
I feel for you OP
>>29308347
OP detected
S T O P
T
O
P
P O S T I N G
O
S
T
I
N
G
>just move on dude lmao
Why does this feel like such a slap in the face.
fdkbjsdfbofgaus
>GF of almost 3 years leaves me
>almost two years later
>feel okay about it sometimes
>every couple of days I have a dream where I drop everything in my life to be with her again
>wake up sobbing
>spend the next few days being miserable
Filthy normie, but at least I'm suffering.
>>29308177
Get the fuck out normie whiner.
If you were me, you'd have probably shot yourself by now
t. 28 year old kissless virgin.
>last night
>get really drunk because my parents are out of town
>they text me and tell me they'll be back around midnight
>around 10 pm, decide to have one last big fap before they get back
>go to the living room and stream porn from my laptop onto our 52-inch flatscreen TV
>start going to town on my dick
>after shooting my load, pass out drunk on the couch with my pants still around my ankles and my cock still in my hand
>don't wake up until around 2:30
>all the lights in the house and the TV are turned off
>parents have gone to bed
>tfw they haven't mentioned it all day but I know they know I was fapping to porn on their couch
How the fuck do I handle this, /r9k/? Just pretend they never saw me?
Bro, be rational. Your parents have known you've been fappung for years. They're probably roasting your ass 24/7 when you aren't around
If it seems like they are being quiet around you just go "aawkwaaard" to break the tension
>>29308336
this. literally everyone's parents know that they fap. they're not retarded dude.
>two weeks ago
>be 23 yo khhv
>have aspd and fear of intimacy
>decide to take summer course at community college
>girl sits next to me
>makes small talk about school related stuff
>move seat
>next class sits next to again but asks about music, and interests
>move seat again
>this happens the following class, and she speaks about how shes single boyfriend broke up etc.
>as i am leaving she tries to catch up to me
>start running
>go home and drop class
did i do good robots?
>>29308129
That's what I'd do.
Good job. You didn't spill spaghetti!
Also, if she finds you again, she'll tell you about her new bf to spite you.
bamp for stories
>>29308212
what do you recommend i say just in case senpai?
![zbsiDOG[1].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/aIBtAwg.jpg "zbsiDOG[1]")
