Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 255. page
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Should I just give up now?
>>29914059
ask if she'd want to be more then friends straight up
You're gonna leave anyways, might as well try beforehand
>>29914059
Yep.
Le Comento Origionale
>>29914095
This depending on how long you've known her. If you just met the bitch wait a while, but not too long.
Turning 24 in 2 days. Still a virgin. Wut Do?
Being virgin is pretty cool m8
>>29914028
purchase hooker
or
rape
>>29914048
i second rape
Who else here /killingthemselveswithdiet/? I've had pic related and a plain bagel to eat today. I almost never have an appetite for anything anymore. I wonder if it's depression or something stupid.
nice skelly hand, are you actually crazy skinny?
If you eat like that every day you will rot on the inside. Life is a bit more bearable with decent meals so learn to cook my dude
>>29914020
Not crazy because from the waist down, I have some meat on my legs, but beyond that, my arms are bones. I also have visible clavicles and ribs. I'm currently sitting at 5'11 and 124lbs.
>>29914069
I still have no appetite. Sometimes I just have scrambled eggs and white rice once a day. Is it really that terrible? I'm still pretty young (20), but I've been doing this for years and don't see too terrible side effects.
Do you like Latina booty?
>>29913950
I like all booty
Yes but do they like introverts? Nope. So I'm shit out of luck
>>29914037
I'm sure some of them do
>tfw you are now a wage cuck
Mommy said I had to or else she would kick me out. She said since she paid for my degree, I have to pay rent. So now I got a programming job, but I don't even remember how to do any of that shit. I got taught all that like 5 years ago, and only ever spent my days dicking around on 4chan since then.
Today was my first day, but since I don't remember how to program I just sat at my cubicle and also played around underneath my desk pretending to be a monster when no one was looking. I also had some meeting where I was told what to do or something, but I never understood shit during that.
I'm fucked, but what really worries me is what mommy might do once I get found out and fired.
>>29913936
>doesn't remember how to program
What the fuck did you tell them in the interview? That you're experienced in crafting turnkey enterprise solutions using Java?
>>29914013
I just got asked fizzbuzz, and I only knew how to do that because I memorized it.
>>29914092
Damn, should have known. Is it really that bad of a job though? You did the CS thing once so you can pick it up again. You can probably fake it for a month or so before they realize your productivity sucks, so I would really recommend brushing up. A comfy programming job is what a lot of robots strive for, and if your output is good enough they might let you work from home too.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GA5ugaljpeE
If not, why?
"From" meaning still in - Yeah sure.
The only thing that could probably be an issue, is if she gets deployed and we are separated for upwards of 6 months. but whats 6 months when Ive been alone for 22 years.
>>29913897
my understanding is that there are two types of military girls. one is the lesbian the other is the slut.
>>29913897
I think it would be a terrible idea.
She would most likely get horny during the months she's away from me and fuck men since the military is a huge sausage fest.
Women in the military get promotions by having sex with their superiors all the time.
Also if she was pure and didn't do any of that shit, there's still the chance of her getting badly hurt or dying which would suck.
So let's analyze it.
>Can't be with her most of the time.
>May cheat a fucking lot.
>May get disfigured or die.
Nope.
Can I get a room (with roommates) in the ghetto of Chicago or Atlanta for 400-600 a month?
Holy shit silly bands
yes
Look at Zillow to scope out apartment prices for cities.
>>29913834
>Silly bands
The fuck, I thought this died like 10 years ago
Have you ever gotten "lucky", robots? Like a friend of your mom invites you to sex when you're both alone, or a maid or whatever.
I got a bit gropey with my friend at my party and she did not want me touching her. She felt bad that I was virgin that has never touched breasts before so she talked to one of her busty friends into letting me grope her. I sat in a bedroom and friend wants in with her busty friend. She explains to her the situation. Friend locks the door behind her and watches as I touch breasts for the first time. She didn't whip out her boobs, but I got to feel her bra under her shirt.
>>29913917
*friend walks in with her busty friend
I hooked up with my friends mom. We were at a bar and we sucked face behind a dumpster out back. My friend threw up on the bar and we had to leave. That's about it.
How easy is it to make a girl not think I'm a virgin if/when I lose my virginity?
If I'm a KHV is there any hope? I don't even know how to kiss and I'm 22... fml. Can I just watch a lot of amateur porn and learn from that?
How hard is sex anyway? It's just sticking your dick in a hole and thrusting your pelvis.
Judging by my own experience (which was one time making out with a chick and sticking my dick in her) it will be evident that you are a virgin. It's best to be upfront about it, if she cares about you at all she'll find it endearing.
Trust me, it's nothing to be ashamed of, who would be so heartless as to reject you because you don't have experience, eh?
>>29913820
>asking that on a board full of virgins
It's like you want to fail.
>>29913820
Kissing is tough, I don't know how to give advice for kissing.
Sex is easy though, you just waaay overthink it beforehand.
>"what are you doing in your room all day, anon?"
>>29913778
WHO IS THIS SAUCY SUCCUBUS
doing pushups, cleaning my guns, listening to Hitler speeches, shadowboxing, practicing hand to hand combat and knife techniques
#justracewarthings
>>29913778
Jerking off thinking of those titties.
Do you think she cheat on him ?
>>29913729
I had to take a second and really think about this, butya
>>29913729
Yes I think she would infact cheat on him
>>29913729
no because the vast majority of people do not cheat
but is he genuinely retarded or something? "justin is happy and wants to jump everyday"
the way this is written makes me think he has a mental problem of some sort, that's the kind of tone mothers use for their autistic children
>Taylor ate his cereal today and was so happy. He wants to eat cereal everyday. We are so proud of him.
same exact tone
do women automatically dismiss you as a subhuman if you wear glasses even if you have good proportions and you are handsome?
bad eyesight=genetically inferior
stop posting this you sperglord
>>29913731
in that respect yes, but genetically superior proportions should negate your genetically inferior vision
Post robots who worked hard and became chads
>>29913700
he didn't do anything except get a haircut and start squinting for pictures
>worked hard
>just got a tan and a haircut
>still had tons of money
OK
>>29913700
>2007
>emo long hair was popular
>2016
>short hair is popular
he was always a normie
Why do you look so sad? Oh, I see... Unrequited love, is it? Don't let it get you down though, okay? They just don't understand you. You've got a lot to offer another person. I know I'm not much but, how would you feel about letting me be the one to cheer you up?
I see... It's that bad huh..? Poor guy, there's no way just a video is going to help you. That's it! I'll stay with you for as long as it takes!
are you really going to eat all those sausages anime girl?
>>29913697
>getting a girlfriend that pities me and will leave for chad anyways
N-no thanks.
>>29913742
Come on, Anon. Turn that frown upside down! You've got a lot to live for, so you may as well share that with someone else!
I'll tell a story that just happened today
>be me
>18
>sister is 25
>sister makes a big pot of spagetti
>I go to take a small bowl
>she yells at me for taking 4 forkfulls and calls me an asshole
>approches me and trys to spit in my food
>itwasnotveryeffective.jpeg
>go write down a list of shit she's done to see how it adds up from today.
>walk out of my room
>she throws a green lemon at my chest and calls me an asshole
>assultwasnotveryeffective.png
>take out my phone start recording her
>she stops shittalking and changes her demeanor.
>she threatens for me not to sleep at night
>I start recording
>talk shit to this bitch call her names
>tell her I could DEFEND myself with one hand behind my back
>she's by the pot of spagetti
>I go by the refergerator
>tell her if shes being so selfish in a place she doesn't even pay rent she shouldn't eat all that food to sustain her pot belly.
>she picks up a knife
>chases me to my room
>I close my door
>got it on video
>I debate on rather if I should call the police or not considering I just got chased down by a crazy person weilding a thick butcher knife.
>take it to my mom as the head of the household first
>mom watches the video
>blade is apparent
>she just says that she "was playing around"
>my mom bairly has the mental capacity to actully focus on the 1:30 sec video without trying to look at something else getting distracted.
>I give my mom 2 choices either discipline my sister herself as a parent will let the police discipline her.
>mom says "just chill out and forget about it"
>I get chases with a deadly bladed weapon and she tells me just to "chill out"
>my 2 sisters and mom are laughing having the time of their lives and I decide to call the police cus it has come to that point
>dress myself in nice dress clothes so I look good in the eyes of the police and wait outside
>eventully police arrive and I explain the situation
>show the video to both police officers.
To be continued
>>29913628
>a green lemon
?
Anyways
>not fucking your sister
normie
>show the video to both police officers.
>one of them says that I threatened my sister by how I said I could "defend myself with one hand" even though I did say "defend" and that I couldn't just say "self defense" and be righteous even though that exactly what you do say when it IS self defense.
>the other cop was more reasonable and said becuase you would want to defend youeself with. both of your hands if your life was at risk. Even though its obviously an exaggeration.
>1 cop is with me more, 1 cop is a against me more.
>the cop against me goes to talk to my sister
>my sister comes out and says "its was a prank"
>"it was just a prank, it was just a prank"
>she is litterely a meme
>my mom tell one cop that "she was just joking, in which I say "so you can just shoot at someone and say "you're just joking""
>I tell the cop leaning for me in privacy that I don't want to give my sister a record because it would be hard to get a job but I don't feel safe living in this house so it would be better if she wasn't here.
> he explains that I should not be afraid to call the cops buts if they do get called if you don't want someone to be arrested don't call them
> I explained I understood there was a possibility that she would be arrested but I just wanted to mention my preference
> fun fact did you know that in domestic violence cases the state is also a victim therefore regardless of if you want to press charges the state has to press charges.
> I wait outside and my sister that's the stuff the car because she scared of the police and she drives off
>Because I'm 18 the police want to tell me to "grow up" "act like an adult" but what I'm wondering is if somebody Chase's them with a knife should they just "grow up" and ignore it?
>Idontthinktheywoulddothat.targa
> I just say uh huh and yes until they get it out of the system then they walk to their cars and drive off.
>mom is not angry that her only son almost got stabed, only concerned about her daughter
To be continued
>>29913693
Have you had sex with your sister yet?
