Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 6983. page
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>tfw she cheats on you AGAIN
epic thread onii-chan
Is the same hand, right?
Who /FartingTrickster? here?
>Dinner time
>Bro asks me to go fetch him a plate
>Yeah sure man
>Bring him dinner and glass of water
>He takes plate in one hand and water in other
>Turn around, pull pants down, shove my ass in his dinner and fart 3 times
>Run away giggling
hehehehehehehehe ohh ohh hehe
>GF and I goofing around
>me laying on bed with ass and legs off edge
>she puts me feet up on her shoulders
>great idea.png
>pull her in to ass
>push her face away from ass, and repeat so she suspects nothing
>pull her face right into my ass
>hold her there for a second
>she realizes she's fucked and tries to pull away
>let'errip.mov
>screams
>let her go
>she start yelling at me, but my sides are in orbit
>she happened to be taking a breath in when I farted
>she says she felt it go into her lungs
Best date ever.
>>25195425
Very nice fellow TrickFarter
>"Results revealed that Chinese women ranked Caucasian male and female models as more attractive. Chinese men, however, did not differentially rank East Asian and Caucasian women, though they did rank Caucasian men as being more attractive. We suggest that, while an evolutionary novelty, a process of globalization can still be linked to potentially adaptive preferences for physical attractiveness, and call for more research in this vein."
http://ccr.sagepub.com/content/early/2008/04/24/1069397108317672
Actaully in Harold and Kumar the asian guy does get the girl
I'm a bored and slightly lonely fembot, can't sleep and can't focus enough to do anything productive. Hit me up if you feel like chatting, my kik's lorerei
Iwon't send ticpics or nudes though
>>25111099
Fuck off whore, who cares about you?
>>25111161
My mum does :)
hey robots
Seems like i've lost all my libido since last sunday, which is the last time i've masturbated
It's both great and awful, because i have to study for exams coming soon. But on the other hand i can't enjoy porn anymore
For the first time i went through an entire redhead thread without having a boner
What should i do ?
wait a week
>>25194619
that's what i'm doing right now
it could work but if there is something that could accelerate it...
Guess what guys, today me and my gf...Shit wrong board.
That's okay. It happens to the best of us.
who /intimacyissues/ here?
every time a girl shows interest in me I feel like I'm on the verge of getting raped or something
>inb4 bitter uglies
Every time anyone shows an interest in me I get uncomfortable and push them away as hard as I can.
This even happens in online games when someone tries to have a conversation with me.
>>25194427
OH NO
GIRLS ARE SHOWING INTEREST IN ME
OH NO
BUT I DON'T LIKE IT CUZ I'M FUCKING GAY
OH NOOOO WHAT A PROBLEM TO HAVE
>>25194427
I fucking hate everything and everyone. I have to work at liking people and things in general.
Post your giant schnozzes r9k. Mine has ruined my face.
Your chin looks receded too. You literally look like me
>>25194424
>big nose
you mean jew nose
>>25194446
Same, weird combination. Honestly I'd rather have a larger nose with this chin rather than a smaller one.
>it's christmas again
>no one messaged you
>no one wished you happy new year
>no one invited you for anything
>spending christmas and new year alone again
who /miserable/ here?
Literally all of those same things are happening to me + no money
I'm actually content. No relationships, not much material value. But I'm doing lots of secret projects and have had some validation for my skill/ work online, so I feel content with my direction in life.
At this point, I don't care if I even die lonely or not.
I'm getting high with my friend on new years eve. Never got high before, so it'll be a first. Plus I got a gift since my friends and I did a secret Santa.
My family was invited to another family's Christmas party and then again to their NYE party
My parents are going
Should I stay at home and wallow in my misery or should I go
>get into bed at 12
>half an hour, trying to fall asleep
>wind picks up
>starts blowing through the cracks in the door to the roof and then through the stairway just perfectly to make this strange musical sound with various tones and what sounds like a girl humming
>creepy as fuck, unsettled, cannot relax and fall asleep
>finally drift off into half-dream
>hear rhythmic knocking on some window/glass that isn't even where the sound came from
>whatever just try to relax again
>finally fall asleep
>4 AM
>chair in the corner of room falls over for literally no fucking reason, creating a loud bang
>awake until 5:30 because of this
>eventually fall asleep again
>have this nightmare where it's basically these videos of people killing themselves in bizarre ways
>I am the viewer but without a body
>carried from video to video
>then after one suicide, the video stops and I am in the room laying in bed, the room is a bizarro world version of this room
>the aftermath of the suicide is kind of frozen in the room in time
>I'm laying there trying to relax and fall asleep
>hear my dad say some nonsensical statement
>sit up and wonder how, he's not there, where did that voice come from
>try to get back to sleep (still in the dream)
>hear his voice again, but now it's just cut up sounds, vowels and consonants, strung together
>the sounds get faster and more fucking creepy
>I am frozen in bed, cannot move
>move my eyes to look around the room, my vision shatters like a mirror into a bunch of small pieces that remain in place
>wake up in real life, heart beating like fuck all
>it's 6:50
>been up since
Jesus FUCKING Christ fuck this shit.
I'm on fucking vacation, I'm trying to relax and feel good, not get no sleep because of some spooky paranormal shit and have nightmares.
Fuck this.
>>25194371
you taking some kinda drugs m8?
that sounds spook fucking tacular, my dude
>>25194396
Nope.
Not even alcohol.
Woke up this morning and almost vomited when I saw this. It's over boys, memes are dead. Normies and the media have made it their own and butchered it beyond repair. They call deflategate, the dress, and things like the Kylie jenner challenge memes. I'm just going to go back to bed now that memes are dead 2k15
We don't care about them as long as they don't invade this board
It's okay if they think our things are cool
>be me
>have a best friend that's borderline retarded
>all of my other friends are normies
>I only have like 4 other friends anyway
>so called best friends starts hanging around Fifa/cod normie
>we stop being good friends
>I can't even play most online games because I have no one to play them with.
>Wat do
(I'm shit at green texting btw)
Become a full normie or become a full robot
You're halfway between us and the real life
>>25194627
I don't even fucking know.
I don't want to become a fucking normie because of all the retarded vine memes and songs.
Play singleplayer games.
Tickety tockety my brainless cuckedies
My dad just gave me a check for 6k cuz my bday and Christmas are so close together. Feels so good
>>25194288
Thismeans wagecucks must work hard because someone is WATCHing them.
>Go jet-skis with my chad cousin and his friends about 3 weeks ago
>since then he keeps calling me to go out
>keep ignoring his calls and msgs
>was fine when i went jet-skis, and they all welcomed me.
>but it makes me feels knowing they all have gfs who they fuck daily, and i'll just see other couples everywhere knowing i dont have that
man this sucks
I don't know who's more pathetic. You for not using that chance or me for remembering your pathetic and ungrateful stories.
>>25194279
Just go out there man. Hit it up with one of the gfs sisters or if the gfs are hot, they are bound to have hot friends or even at the very least the one hamplanet that will be willing to take your seeds.
Nothing ventured nothing gained!
>>25194372
feels bad man.
>>25194394
I got asked before but i declined, maybe next time. Well i told my mother to call his mother and say no (they are sisters).
>tfw you forget to bathe or eat for days
>tfw you start staring at yourself in the mirror for an extended period of time spacing out standing perfectly still as your vision distorts
>tfw you pace around in circles
>tfw you get mad when people try to talk to you
>tfw you get in a random position and stay there for a while
>tfw life feels like a movie
>tfw you get obsessive unpleasant thoughts
>tfw you start doing something and it feels wrong so you start doing something else endlessly
>tfw spacing out and cutting yourself in public
>tfw you go on drunk nightwalks alone with no light in dark areas on weeknights
>tfw people ask you to do things and you recoil at the idea
>tfw shit falls apart around you and you don't care
>tfw going from really happy to suicidal immediately
who else fucked in the head here?
>>25194249
>and cutting yourself in public
Everything but this.
All in the comfort of my own bed haunting my living space in a leather jacket no matter the temperature.
