Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 5914. page
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I need to relax, robots. Any tips on how not to be so fucking stressed?
what makes you stressed anon.?
>>25873767
Wank more.
Today is the worst day of my life. I usually consider killing myself but today I was thinking of practical methods and I began to give my self a literal deadline.
>It's also the first time I haven't masturbated in two days.
>>25874970
I have anxiety. Literally everything makes me stressed.
>>25875024
Sorry to hear about that. Dont kill yourself. We can make it.
I'll start... Michael Gary Scott
> virgin until 28, goes seven years without sex following the popping of his cherry
> does not understand why he is single and friendless
> possessive, but is passive and non-violent/masculine
> friendly to everyone and willing to go out of his way in the hope of something more
> Not masculine, ugly, no facial hair, no talents, or desirable characteristics
Edward Nortons character in Fight Club.
>>25872774
He got regular sex from men and women and had an alpha male alter ego. He also had a cult of loyal /pol/ followers.
>>25872565
Uchiha Madara
who /fapwithcondom/ here?
My dick hurts and i think this is the reason. I couldnt figure it out for the longest time.
>>25872330
nigga hwat
For some reason I get off to cumming in to condoms
I sometimes watch porn consisting only of men cumming in condoms and I cum buckets
>buy condoms just to see what they feel like
>try one on from variety pack with shit like ribbed for her pleasure and such gimmicks
>lol im fapping with a condom, ebin kek
>suddenly cant feel my dick
>oh my fucking god my dick has gone numb
>freak the fuck out
>realize it might be one of those numbing cream condoms
>google about it and see that there was one in this variety pack
>no where on the pack does it tell you what kind of condom is in the colored package
>at no stage are you warned you are putting on a condom with fucking novocaine that they rub on your gums at the dentists in it
>sit around for an hour worrying that the feeling isnt coming back fast enough but it finally does
thank fucking elliot I am a virgin and this happened while I was just jerking off, fuck you durex
anyone else here /quarterlifechrisis/?
>19
>immature as fuck
>not sure what to study/work with
>feel like I wasted my teenage years
>wish I could return to when I was 14
>want to stay as a teenager all my life because life past 20 seems horrible
I don't wanna live anymore. Don't wanna be 20.
What do? Can anyone relate?
I'm twenty-nine, things still fine.
>>25872030
Study Chemistry or Engineering,
>wasted years are a meme
Pretty how you put it time will not go backwards so deal with it
Life after 20 is horrible if you don't start working now to make it better.
I'm the opposite. I'm tired of being 19. I wanna be like 25 as soon as possible.
Honestly life as a teenager is horrible. I just wanna be alone and not depend on anyone. And not be younger that all chicks cause every chick I talk to is like 22+ and if I can't compete with Chads my age competing with adult Chads is even harder.
Depression is a disease of will. Either actively try and better your life or kill yourself.
Neither life or death appeals to me
>>25871918
Bettering your life is a disease of stupidity. Either kill yourself now or kill yourself later. It doesn't matter, you'll die and have not mattered anyway no matter how you lived your life.
>>25871975
Your nihilistic behaviour is toxic, the idleness of the mind is a silent rogue of destruction. Either improve your habits so you can outgrow this phase or kill yourself.
Same goes for >>25872001
What was it that made you into a robot? When it all started to go downhill?
>>25871317
When I gained self awareness.
>>25871317
My very first day of school. Aged 4 or 5. Being put in large room with other kids. I remember being sat on the teacher's lap and crying.
>>25871384
this
When you become aware of yourself and your place in the world you finally realize there is no point in trying anymore
What's your most recent fuck-up? It can be something small or big, doesn't matter. How did you fuck up?
Fell asleep for four hours in the middle of the day, stood up an old friend I was supposed to catch up with, and damaged a good friendship.
I fucked my cousin and now I'm panicking
>>25871011
why? How old are you?
What is your "impossible dream"?
Mine is to rule the world anonymously.
>have everything and everyone I want literally whenever I want
>no fear of being assassinated because no one knows
>>25870732
so you want to be a jew?
I want to be a semi successful writer
>too lazy to write anything but short poems
>barely manage to squeeze out 1 or 2 a week
Having this vague dream is slightly better than constantly feeling suicidal
To somehow be reborn(keeping my memories) in a different dimension where I have the chance to live an interesting life.
Who /musician/ here?
I play bass, guitar, and drums (in order of descending skill level). Been practicing my death metal chops on bass, about to hit the studio. And I've been writing some black metal songs on guitar, trying to get a new band together.
What have you guys been working on?
Here's my guitar rig
Loving the guitar so much that I ordered a bass from the same series
I rock my body and groan in a semi-rhythmic fashion
>>25870207
Using the same pedalboard for bass, gonna ditch this 6 string when my Stingray gets here
What kind of music does /r9k/ like?
>>25869433
>hiphopheads is one of my most visited places on the Web
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LSClRjE1Lwk
quricky music with less then 2k views/
anything that Thom yorke does...
He knows how to apease my soul like no one else.
Who /worthless degree/ here?
There's no such thing as a worthless degree, unless it's an associates or something equally pitiful.
Most jobs in the modern world just require a B.S. or B.A. in anything so that you can get your foot in the door.
It feels bad that I'm 28 and never went to college yet.
>>25858548
Criminal justice
Dropped out before I went into anymore debt though I'm at 10k with no job and I think I'm disabled
>>25858593
degrees are just pointless goals. kicking the ball down the road until you have to face that you will eventually come to a day where you have no option but to do something repetitive for the rest of your days, at a very VERY questionable benefit
it's a bubble to be fucking sure, and it won't pop until this entire generation is in the grave
i lost my virginity on friday, got my first kiss about two weeks ago. both to the same gorgeous gal. i was so high on endorphins the past couple of days that i felt creatively inspired and decided to turn it into a musical
here's the full play: http://imgur.com/a/fpfty
ill be posting it page by page in this thread as well so let me know what you think
>>25849587
page 2 of kissless virginity the musical
>>25849608
page 3 of kissless virginity the musical
my dude, what the fuck are you doing
God damn I'm sad and lonely
Anyone want to talk about some /feels/?
>>25849209
sure
what's got you feeling sad and lonely?
what's your day look like today?
Sure. What's going on, anon?
>>25849209
Anon, tell me all about your feels. Hopefully we can feel together and feel better.
Anybody else fucking hate this bitch? If a man preformed her sorry excuse of a "comedy" routine he'd be booed off the stage. But because she has a vaginal she gets laughs and awards for jokes about her pussy. Fuck this bitch.
>>25877258
Is she lying about her sex life? She's not even that attractive.
>>25877258
>But because she is a huge jew she gets laughs and awards for jokes about her pussy
ftfy
>>25877258
I want to hatefuck her and Lena Dunham at the same time.
![ea724f8a70b0ebaa70c5f51fc95a46eb5eeb2b6f5c0a4a4c14d0bf5067819bc3[1].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/GQCeDkQ.jpg "ea724f8a70b0ebaa70c5f51fc95a46eb5eeb2b6f5c0a4a4c14d0bf5067819bc3[1]")
welp, I'm surrendering myself to robothood
>ask girl out
>she agrees
>go out
>arrange new date
>she makes lame excuse
>me: "I'm into you, so let me know: am I wasting my time, or should I keep asking you out?"
>her: "I had a good time, let's see each other again!"
>arrange new plans
>literally hours before meeting up, her: "Look, I think we should just drop it"
Explain this fucking mindset to me, because I've fucking had it and I'm baffled and furious.
There's an Elliot inside me raging right now.
WHY THE FUCK DIDN'T SHE JUST SAY SHE WASN'T INTERESTED WHEN I GAVE HER THE CHANCE TO DO SO? WHAT IS THE POINT OF NOT DOING SO?
Why are women such fucking cunts?
Women are a meme. Never forget this.
>>25876790
Because women are cowardly, expect a lot of emotional bullshit. It's just something men have had to deal with and adapted just to get that sweet pussy ever since the dawn of civilization.
tl;dr Women suck, the only ones that don't know it are women.
>>25876790
She knows you are into her, that's the ultimate turn off for women, don't ask me why, it's as stupid as it sounds. If women think that you think they are utter trash then they'll like you, but show interest and you're like an insect.
