Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 4502. page
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Anyone else having a fucking terrible easter?
>I am obese
>Roughly 300lbs at 5'7 and 24
>Love Easter because nobody gives me shit at Easter for enjoying some candy
>Decide to treat my family and show them the magic of easter
>Buy 5 Easter Eggs for each of my family members (mom, dad, 21 year old sister, 15 year old brother)
>Spend HOURS putting together a scavenger hunt so they can find their eggs
>Write down dozens of clues
>All of the clues are self depreciating jokes
>Give each of them their first clue
>Brothers clue was 'The Place where anons Pop Tarts Plop shortly after they have Popped' (egg hidden behind the toilet)
>He jokes 'the answer is that the egg is in anons fat fucking belly'
>Fathers clue was 'You hate washing anons stained undies, so your egg is with the powder and sundries' (egg under the sink)
>He jokes 'the answer is that the egg is in anons fat fucking belly'
>Sisters clue was 'Anon wakes you with his stomping when he walks past your door, so why don't you check under the floor?' (egg under the floorboards)
>She jokes 'the answer is that the egg is in anons fat fucking belly'
>Mothers clue was 'you make me extra portions for dinner so check the sheets to be a winner' (egg under her bedsheets)
>She jokes 'the answer is that the egg is in anons fat fucking belly'
>they refused to participate
>now I am sitting in my room with 20 easter eggs
>have already started eating, will probably finish them inside 2 weeks
I hate this holiday
>>27437310
i dont know if this is bait or not, if it isnt then, thats fucking bullshit and they dont appreciate you senpai
also see about losing weights and somehow to spend your tie doing something other then eating, and i mean that seriously with no hidden meanings
>>27437636
But I like eating
>>27437663
And I like taking drugs. But I don't take them every day and ruin my life.
Fucking fat people...
This fat ugly SJW nigger has a boyfriend who looks like this. Why the fuck should I even try to be a good person anymore? Maybe if I were a massive cunt to men they would take me seriously. These are the types of women men are always saying they hate. And yet, SJW tumblr girls always have cute, sensitive and loving boyfriends while us real ladies can only get with misogynistic gun nuts. I guess men secretly like being treated like shit. If you don't treat them like shit, they walk all over you. It's sad, but true. If you want a good boyfriend, you have to be a huge bitch. Sweet monogamous guys only go for bitches.
It might be because they have a lot in common, and therefore hit it off.
Maybe you don't have much in common with any of these nu-males who want long term relationships. Super liberal tumblrinas attract super liberal hipster guys, they like the same things. So if you're conservative, conservative men will like you.
Maybe you could try giving a gun nut a chance if you haven't already. Many of them want long-term girlfriends too.
And you can treat a guy well without being a complete doormat. Have boundaries and consider breaking up if he can't take "no" for an answer. You don't have to choose between being a bitch and being totally compliant; you can be a nice person with limits.
Meh, it's probably a troll post anyway but yeah.
>>27435896
Calling practice gf.
>>27435896
Describe yourself OPI'd like to see what kind of personality a troll makes up[/spoiler
Sydney, Australia
Submitting application request for a robot who would like to help improve each other.
I would like a robot with a strong desire and desperation to change/improve oneself, so we can work together on achieving that goal.
We will not be friends, we are there to help each other get out of robotdom snd ideally into chadom. Think of us as a team
MEETING IN PERSON WILL EVENTUALLY BE REQUIRED.
Firstly, i want to stress the relationship will be mutualistic, which means if i feel that you're not useful to me, well have to break things off, vice versa.
We are not friends. Think of it as a help me help you relationship. Again im not your friend, im not there to discuss your favourite chinese cartoons. We will more something akin to a team & partnership.
Everything we do must have a greater purpose e.g. I will not play video games with you if heres no greater purpose behind it. E.g.2. If you need get your eating habits right, i can help you with that.
We don't need a o be emotionally distant from each other, we can express our personality if we want, but always remember in the end were not friends. This thread isn't about looking for a friend.
>>27435892
Sure, let's do it. Reporting from Townsville, QLD. I shall pass through Sydney in late June. Driving to Melbourne. Heard that's where I can find single women. All the women here are taken by chads-soldiers in the army.
>>27435892
What happened? Didn't get enough people for your autism parade?
if you live near macquarie park, i might let you train with me at the gym, so long as you're not annoying or too shit of a person
>tfw I have a piano and I must scream
http://vocaroo.com/i/s1JxCdh0V7KV
>>27435761
>tfw trying to get better at piano but have no idea how to improve
>tfw all I can do is work on individual simple pieces but that doesn't seem to help overall piano ability
>tfw need a roadmap of practice but can't find one anywhere
Nice tunes tho
>>27435821
Mastering an instrument takes decades. Work on the individual pieces. A marathon is run step by step.
>>27435843
Definitely seems like it, if there's one lesson I've learnt over the last year of practice though, it's to learn pieces I actually enjoy playing. Anything else and I get bored and practice turns into a real chore.
>get Tinder
>match with 12 hot women within a day
I-Is this real life? Where do I go from here?
bots you ugly fuck
I don't want to be a /soc/ faggot, but I want to get some feedback on my tinder picture
Just to make sure I don't look like a complete tool.
>>27435640
Post pic so I can compare myself to you rather than help you
IAmA 25 year old guy who swiped right for hours and never got a conversation out of a match. AMA
You are not alone anon. Let's fap this away.
I'm only 18 but I know these feels anon
At least i got some messages from bots so i know the app is working properly
your most and least favorite anime and why, robots
I love Ranma 1/2, every character is charming, good tier.
I deeply dislike Sailor Moon, I hate Chibilune, only fags love this shit.
>>27434410
Midori shujo
>>27434420
Hey there you sexy beast
>>27434410
>Favourites
Evangelion, Berserk, Legend of the Galactic heroes
>Least favourites
Probably Owari no Seraph.
I'm still pretty new desu.
ITT: Your autistic hobbies, that are not vidya,tv,etc.
Mine: I like to collect old coins from any country.
>>27432838
I have a small collection of pokemon cards that I pretend are different characters in an action anime. Their powers are based on the attacks on the card/the pokemon the card is based off of.
>mfw there is a huge fighting tournament between the top 8 strongest fighters happening currently
>nobody can know about this
>>27432838
Since when is coin collecting autistic? Autistic people may do it, sure, but autistic people do a lot of things.
>>27433038
This reminds me of something I would've done as a young'n
First time making a /britfeel/ thread edition
Long weekend lads.
Did anyone see that Germany England match?
Bloody incredible.
>>27428613
Has anyone else noticed how /britfeel/ is slowing down ALOT recently?
Are people becoming normies?
It's just not the same anymore
>>27428679
It's Easter Weekend also. Thought it would be super busy, but guess not
>>27428838
I agree.
Also in general, I'd expect /r9k/ to be the most active of all the boards on 4chan considering most robots rarely leave the house and are on their computers for most of the day.
will meditation make me happy? will it make me a better person? will it help me find new friends?
meditate if you want to figure out who you are
>>27440964
No, it helped me find myself. I found out I'm shit.
meditation makes me a lot happier and more relaxed the next day
How do I stop wasting every day?
Pull the plug.
You know which I mean, and you already knew this answer.
>>27440681
what do you consider "not a waste" ?
You can only feel so much before you reach the end of your tether, anon.
You know what to do.
I finally broke up with my manipulative bitch of a girlfriend, and I did it today for dramatic effect. I put up with her for a few more months than was necessary, but I wanted to be certain that I wasn't imagining this.
Of course I'm going to greentext this shit for you
>At GF's house with her family, eating a nice Easter lunch. (Parents are very religious, even more so than me)
>I act perfectly innocent while toying with her, asking her questions like:
>Do you think Jesus forgave Judas? and similar shit just to set her on edge
>After nearly everyone has finished eating, I tap my plastic cup with a fork while standing
>"Everyone, you've all made me feel so welcome into your family, and no matter what happens, I will never forget that."
>I produced a small box from my coat sleeve, walked over to my girlfriend, and got on one knee
>I could hear probably about half of the people gasp, many phones were taken out for impromptu pictures/videos (quick thinkers, some of them)
>Look up into my girlfriends face
>"Rebecca, I know what you did."
>Open up the box
>It's empty.
>"I know that you cheated on me with Jacob and Chadric (the irony is not lost on me), and I saw the pictures you sent to Tony. You are a soulless harpy and I hope you rot in Hell."
>Get up and leave, smiling at her family members as I walk out
>See her dad holding his head in his hands and her mother laughing into her hands (she's fucking crazy too, probably where her bitch daughter got it from)
>Drive home basically giggling the entire way because I had forgotten that Tony was there too
>My cellphone has blown up for the past hour, and I haven't answered a single text or voicemail. Not one.
>Feels good man
My only regret is that I didn't have the foresight to call over one of my chaps and have him record the entire thing. It probably would have gone viral.
So, robots, how has your Easter Sunday gone?
Pic unrelated btw
>>27440456
That's hilarious if it's true, anon. I wish I could believe.
>>27440456
Even if this isn't real, god bless, anon. God bless. Made my day
>>27440456
Chadric? Really?
Bots my life has officially gone to shit.
>Four days ago, my roommate a friend and I were hanging out for spring break and we decided to smoke a blunt
>Go to the usual spot we hang out to smoke at
>Anonymous tip to the local police department about a drug concern
>Police catch us, take our stuff and charge us with UPM's
My life has gone to utter shit ever since that moment. I've hired a supposedly great lawyer but I still worry if I will lose my financial aid and my place in uni. My parents have disowned me and my girl won't even talk to me the same anymore. I just want to end it all.
OP, you live in NY?
I work at a law firm and have clients who case similar charges. Are you going to a criminal court or summons court for it?
>>27440428
all because of a little harmless weed. wow.
>>27440450
>
Yes I live in New York and attend uni here. I believe I'm going to a summons court. My lawyer is trying to have the date postponed until around the end of May so I can take a drug class and clear it out of my system.
Stop calling me Pancho, ese
>>27440194
Stop calling me gringo, cabron.
Start building that wall paco
>>27440194
Start building that wall homo
>tfw melted butter
I didn't ask for this
>>27440164
I want to eat all of them senpai
>not chilling the dough first
It's like you don't even care.
>tfw more flour
