Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 8600. page
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I can hear my brother fucking his girlfriend in the other room
what do
vocaroo
masturbate loudly
bust down the door and stick your dick in her ass while yelling, "SANDWICH"
it's been 3 months and I still love you
>>24103591
Thanks man, I really appreciate it.
>>24103591
Lmao she moved on bro
>tfw this is going to be me in two months
Hey robots. So I just lost my virginity at 27. Bit the bullet and went to an escort. Gotta say, feel a little empty quite honestly.
I guess if any of you guys are thinking about doing it I could share my experience.
How was it? Were you nervous?
>>24103886
I was a little nervous over the phone but ok. I'm so worn out an exhausted mentally that my nerves have just settled and I'm kind of at peace with myself.
It was pretty good. I was just gonna do a happy ending massage first...
Do long did you last? Did you last longer than you thought you would?
Not sure who I hate more:
Women
Or their white knight pussy Samaritans
>>24103527
white knights without a doubt. Literally do nothing but make things worst
>>24103545
I second this.
Whiteknight (ucks give them literally all of their power.
White knights. As much as I hate women for being whores I can't blame them. I certainly hold it against them but I mean if you had like a 10 year window to monetize your looks wouldn't you? Once they hit the wall and get ugly they become invisible and nobody gives a fuck about them so why wouldn't they enjoy the moment. White knights are fucking retards that make things worse for themselves and everyone else. I don't understand why it's so hard for some guys to go without female attention. Even if you find it hard how the fuck is getting attention from being a bent over faggot worth it at all? I'd rather die alone than suffer the shame of beta orbiting or white knighting.
"The direct invitation for sex does not work..because the true problem is not that coffee is never fully coffee, but that sex is never fully sex, that there is no sexual relationship, which is why the sexual act needs a fantasmatic supplement."
-Slavoj Zizek
>consider the *sniff* classic memetic device: Pepe the scatological toad and his hapless subordinate Wojak
>"In a traditional German toilet, the hole into which shit disappears after we flush is right at the front, so that shit is first laid out for us to sniff and inspect for traces of illness. In the typical French toilet, on the contrary, the hole is at the back, i.e. shit is supposed to disappear as quickly as possible. Finally, the American (Anglo-Saxon) toilet presents a synthesis, a mediation between these opposites: the toilet basin is full of water, so that the shit floats in it, visible, but not to be inspected. [...] It is clear that none of these versions can be accounted for in purely utilitarian terms: each involves a certain ideological perception of how the subject should relate to excrement. Hegel was among the first to see in the geographical triad of Germany, France and England an expression of three different existential attitudes: reflective thoroughness (German), revolutionary hastiness (French), utilitarian pragmatism (English). In political terms, this triad can be read as German conservatism, French revolutionary radicalism and English liberalism. [...] The point about toilets is that they enable us not only to discern this triad in the most intimate domain, but also to identify its underlying mechanism in the three different attitudes towards excremental excess: an ambiguous contemplative fascination; a wish to get rid of it as fast as possible; a pragmatic decision to treat it as ordinary and dispose of it in an appropriate way. It is easy for an academic at a round table to claim that we live in a post-ideological universe, but the moment he visits the lavatory after the heated discussion, he is again knee-deep in ideology."
-Slavoj Zizek, The Plague of Fantasies
Thoughts?
>>24103603
I fucking kekaha
Who /cantgrowabeard/ here?
>tfw can grow a beard but have a gigantic bald spot on my chin anyway
>>24103449
It's pretty bad for skin.
Shaving your beard makes your skin stronger and you will look younger than you are if you shave it 1 time every 3/4 days.
Being unable to grow a beard and not being able to shave will make you look older than you are in the old run because the skin doesn't have any sort of stimulation, making wrinkles more apparent
>cant grow facial hair
>baby face
>acne
my face is shit
>Men can't win for losing
Women ruin men with false accusations of harassment and not being PC enough left and right, drive them into suicide.
More and more avoid being alone with women = also sexist. Reminds me of another article I read lately, about men in companies refusing to tutor women because one wrong word and they are fired or sued for harrassment
>omg this creep is totally rapey
>omg this asshole is totally sexist
Feminism: the greatest victim card of all time.
>>24103339
>Add it to the list of barriers women must overcome in order to do their jobs and move up in their fields.
Right, except YOU made that one yourselves by punishing anyone so much as accused of sexual harassment so severely that men are literally afraid to be alone in the same room with a female coworker.
>>24103339
>written by a woman
Oh I never would have guessed!
>you will never cum in a girl's mouth
>>24103229
>tfw I did multiple times
>>24103282
THEN GET OUT FUCKING NORMIE
RRRRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEEE
>>24103282
this. i was fucking this really fucked up chick once who i eventually had to kick out of my house bc she wouldn't leave, so she broke down crying and said that she'd only leave if i came in her mouth, because that's the only way she'd know if i forgave her for her behavior.
>starting to think my being a tranny has something to do with my longstanding incestuous relationship with my mom
Post your unrelatable feels here so I feel less like shit
Tell us about that sexy thing you were talking about doe
How did ur relationship start?
>>24103224
>my longstanding incestuous relationship with my mom
what the hell
you're going to have to elaborate on that, op.
>tfw no nearby /r9k/ cutie to hangout with
>>24103134
>tfw the only time im grinning it when my peepee's spinning
>>24103134
would the cutie be boy or girl?
>>24103175
boy :3
Ok you asked for it feather weights
>tfw 8-0-0 armature record (6 fights first round kO)
>tfw trainer tells me "cmon this guy got nothing on you you've been poping shots for 2 rounds strait he aint hit you once"
>tfw karate fag tries to come to MY gym and challenge me
>mfw he's still in recovery ward
>tfw trainer pesters me to go pro and register my fist as "lethal weapons"
>cantmakemedoshittrainer.jpg
>tfw start fight with /fit/ tard outside gym
>mfw fracture his collarbone
>mfw watch porn on class projector, professor walks in takes one look at me and walks out
>alphaasfuck.gif
>tfw call Stacey a dick sucking slut in front of chad
>mfw all he says is "j-just leave her alone"
>tfw I beat the shit out of him anyways
>nomercy.pdf
>tfw kuk wrestler tries to make a name for himself
>mfw I rip his stupid ponytail from its roots
>noonesaidIfightfair.txt
why aren't you a fighter anons?
will post more if requested
>mfw when piss in 4 corners of the gym
>markmyterritory.gif
>>24103072
No, thanks. That'll do.
>>24103104
Thats not fair anon, you should have two corners maximum, you should really leave some for the others
>tfw the alcohol hits.
>tfw no replies
>>24103211
>tfw the 7th PBR slides down my throat
>tfw you hit that magical place where you're sober enough to be functional but drunk enough to be content
>tfw the pills kick in and everything's alright
>tfw you stay up so late that you're too tired to hurt anymore
>tfw you slide into bed and it's so comfy that you can't help but be happy
Who here has just decided to give up on ever finding a girlfriend?
I have. Girls won't even look at me.
For me, life is nothing but faps n' faffs, chaps n' laffs.
I don't even know how to look for a gf
I rarely see them outside and online dating is asking to be keked if you can even get a girl to say hello
>>24102946
>just decided
I gave up a long time ago
"That Kid" thread?
>That kid who always wore button-up flame shirts
>That kid who never did homework but still passed anyway
>That kid who was an edgelord who always listened to stuff like Linkin Park, Evanescence and Slipknot
>That kid who made up lies about video games
>>24102919
>That kid who made up lies about video games
If you wanna get Mew in Pokemon Yellow, you gotta beat the Elite 4 500 times, trade me all your strongest Pokemons, and then delete your save file. Trust me, my dad works for Nintendo.
>That kid who sit in the bench at the corner during break and just do nothing
Memories
>That kid who never did homework but still passed anyway
That was me. If you go to a shit high school full of loud disruptive black people you literally get rewarded for being quiet and white.
are any of you fuckers ACTUALLY robots?
i swear it's like you're all normies here for a faff and a laff
MY SORROW ISNT A JOKE ASSHOLES
We all just come here to play pretend and act like robots no one actually is lol
>>24102903
laughing at your sorrow helps me forgot about mine.
>>24102903
>MY SORROW ISNT A JOKE ASSHOLES
actually it is, you are an NPC in a ribald comedy game.
the 4th wall jokes are going to start dropping and shits gonna git pretty wired for you.
