Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 7324. page
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>Invited to family get together
>Aunt asked me to bake cookies
>Before cooking masturbate in the bathroom
>Go down to bake cookies
>Mixing dough with bare hands
>Realized I didn't wash my hands
>Can't stop now
>Put them into little balls
>Put dirty cum stained balls in oven
>Expect them to say "Anon the cookies taste weird, did you wash your hands?" "y-yeah"
>Finish
>Put them out and like 7 people ate them
>"Yum Anon this is really good!"
>I just when back to the bathroom to barf
>What should I do guys?
Masturbate before making food more often
>>25112342
>>What should I do guys?
They said the cookies taste good. Move on with your day.
How the fuck did you not think of washing your hands
Can manlets date tall girls?
>>25112015
that guy has a big dick if u look
yes manlets can date tall girls what kind of shit bait is this
Sure, just be rich.
Girls literally LOATHE short guys. just sharing the plain of existence with them is insulting to them.
You can make up for this with money though,
for every inch below 5'9 you need an extra $100k yearly salary;starting at 40k. So we get:
>5'8: $140k /year
>5'7: $240k..
>5'6: $340k..
>5'5: $440k..
------------ cutoff --------------
Below this height only God can help you.
lets rank men who have it the hardest with women. from easy to difficult
-white, you won the lottery, the only thing that could stop your from getting a woman is being too short, you really don't have to work for it
-mediteranean (includes some light skinned arabs, north africans) you need good facial aesthetics, not be a manlet and preferably fit
-latino (south American), you need to have as less native gene in you as possible, be tall, good facial features and not act like a beaner
-Asian, if you're not over 5'11 and fit its not gonna work out which means most asian guys aren't gonna make it
-blacks, you will only attract a certain type of women and thats it, you're dating pool is very limited, and you have to be tall and muscular
-Indians, Pakis and others, you pretty much dun goof'd, there is nothing you can do that would make you attractive, even your own women don't want you.
if it wasn't for forced arranged marriage you wouldn't exist
anyone has something to add ?
do you agree ?
>>25111894
>posting race bait this fucking obvious
Guess you're new to shilling, right? How much do they pay you?
I'm white, where's my complementary girlfriend?
>>25111894
>white, you won the lottery
If this were true /r9k/ wouldn't even exist.
black samurai were real
>>25111744
WE WUZ NINJAS N SHIT
>>25111744
black mud huts were real
>>25111744
Somebody has to wash the clothes and sharpen the sword.....
What's your net worth?
After my parents died in 2013 I was left with $4.5 million from the combination of insurance (500k) real estate (3.3m) and the combination of their savings and the proceeds from selling my fathers business.
All posters welcome
>>25111703
Around $25.
Live the dream for those of us robots who can't.
I wish I was you, anon.
>>25111703
>21
>Roughly 7k in the bank
>No debt
>Recent college grad
>Full time job in the insurance industry
Hoping to grow that into something respectable real soon.
How do you get the taste of piss out of your mouth anons?
>Be me
>Woken up by dog
>Huge boner
>Start masterbating to traps
>About to ejaculate
>Need to take a pee pee
>In a horny rage I become incredibly interested in pissing on myself
>Lay on back with legs behind my head
>Begin peeing on my own face
>"This doesn't taste to bad desu"
>Swallow all of it
>Cum 30 seconds later all over face
>Lick it all up
>Wake up 3 hours later
>Stomach feels like shit
>Stink of piss
>Mouth tastes of urine
It's been 20 hours now and my mouth still feels fucking repulsive. I don't know why I do this, I don't even have a humiliation fetish.
Did you do this in a bath? Or did you ruin your bed?
>>25111607
I did it on my bed but it doesn't smell at all so I'm assuming it all went in my mouth.
Just eat your own shit, should get that disgusting taste of piss out of your mouth
who else /disgusting/ here
i dont even know how people can look at me without puking
The thought of going in a public room with mirrors gives me really bad anxiety.
>>25111442
read that as:
>The thought of going in a public room with minors gives me really bad anxiety.
>>25111442
>elevators
>bathrooms
You guys sure forgot about him quickly.
>>25111191
>Implying I will not scream his name on the day of the beta uprising
>>25111191
No one did
take a look at the catalog, literally /soc/ no one knows this guy.
Lets detail archetypes of modern women that we have noticed.
Ill start
The millennial
>Looks aged despite being physically young
>Wears yoga/sweat pants when shopping
>Almost always spotted with her semi athletic black manlet bf
>Shit skin covered with makeup
>Weed XD
>Short and out of shape
>Mentally dull
>Whore
>Not smart enough to have a formed political ideology. Says shit like "Im praying for the victims of..."
>Always involved in some stupid drama
>Lazy
The Tumblrite
>Tall with an androgynous face
>Short/shaved hair
>Lesbian or Bi
>Artist
>Mentally/emotionally unbalanced
>Eye liner
>Dyed hair
>Deep voice
>On anti depressant drugs
>Weird parents
>Liberal. Depression and gay rights are big issues with them.
>Thin body. Flat ass and chest.
Those two alone literally makeup like 60% of all females.
ill probably get fedorad for saying this but I really hate when people say "I'm praying for x". it just seems so skin deep. how about you research the issue and try to get involved? I guess that would require work.
>white
>late 20s
>fat
>bad teeth
>visible tattoo
>1 to 3 mixed race children
>pays for groceries with food stamps and WIC
>never seen with husband
>>25111041
>mfw my half brother is fucking a bitch just like this
![[HorribleSubs] YuruYuri S3 - 11 [720p].mkv_snapshot_02.27_[2015.12.17_20.34.57].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/HY6jque.jpg "[HorribleSubs] YuruYuri S3 - 11 [720p].mkv snapshot 02.27 [2015.12.17 20.34.57]")
>mfw I drive my body like a spaceship
>mfw my hud warns me when I'm on a collision course
>mfw I get mental damage reports when people bump into me
>mfw when I get home I have to communicate my ID to the control tower
Should I tell my shrink about this ?
>>25110873
Shit nigga I used to pretend that my body was a mech being piloted by tiny people in my head, and I would put on ballistic combat armor (gloves and snowsuit) and beat up snowmen in my backyard
>mfw seeing my psychiatrist on monday
This sounds awesome gonna start tonorrow
>>25110873
im at least 75% this is normal, as its something Ive always done so I could take a back seat and daydream in my head without worrying about bothersome conversations of bumping into things.
dont worry about it, not a problem till the voices tell you to hurt yourself or others.
Going to a strip club by myself for the first time tonight, what should I expect?
>what should I expect?
nothing
You're probably going to feel out of place and see the exact types of people that you dislike so much. Chads, gangster wannabes, etc. If you drink a moderate amount and relax you might end up enjoying it though
> paying to get blue balled
What is even the point? Why not save your money and go to a massage parlor instead?
Anyone who falls into delusion in bed?
Nowadays I'm imagining what would have happened
if telepathic midgets lived in north america instead of humans.
They already intervened in English civil war and Russian revolution and are waiting for world war II.
It happens to everyone. The reason is because when you are in a relaxed state on the border between sleep and wakefullness, the critical thinking division of your brain that usually silences thoughts that aren't realistic or aredelusional shuts down, allow unchained creativity, but also increadibly retarded ideas. Thats why we have ideas that seem good at might time, but bad when we wake up.
Is singularity coming?
>>25111071
It will happen. But many people will be killed in the process. The government will not be able to relinquish their power. They will never allow anyone to become stronger than they are. Thus, they will most likely integrate with technology themselves, while the rest of us are forced into an existance to keeping them functional for survival. At worst, they will no longer require us and kill us off. The government's ultimate aim is to kill the civilians it depends on and replace them with robots.
Would you mind if your gf didn't shave?
Kind of. I wouldn't mind her having a thin/mild bush. But any hair anywhere else would be disgusting.
I think it depends at what stage of the relationship we're at. But if she had man legs like in that pic, then I'd probably mind.
>>25110445
Her pussy? No. Her armpits? Maybe not. Her legs? Definitely. That's just gross.
I just want a qt gf. Why does no one want me?
>>25110366
How am I supposed to know? I don't even know you
>>25110381
I don't know, anon. I just have no one to talk to. Posting on r9k makes me feel 1% better. Knowing that someone reads my autistic posts is enough.
I don't expect to get any useful advice from 4chan or to find a qt gf on 4chan.
go on tinder and find a single mom OP
>find nudes of my gf on 4chan
>got kucked by a 4chan shitposter on /r/
>show pic to gf
>she denies it
>find out she sends nudes to a ton of people she meets on Omegle and Reddit
>literally can't get any worse feels
what is up with that faggot beta pic related?
>>25110357
where's the nudes
>>25110792
this, better get to posting op
