Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 2795. page
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Benefits of pissing in a bottle:
>don't have to walk to toilet
>don't get dirty from all the shit bacteria on the toilet
>save lots of water by flushing only when the bottle is full
>be able to tell whether you're well hydrated by the color and clearness of your urine
Why aren't you pissing in a bottle yet?
>>28567636
>don't get dirty from all the shit bacteria on the toilet
What do you do, rub your dick on the toilet while you pee?
>be able to tell whether you're well hydrated blah blah
You can look at the color of your urine as you're peeing.
Otherwise valid points anon, I shall take it into consideration.
>>28567686
The bacteria are everywhere in the toilet since they get sprayed around while flushing.
>don't have to walk to toilet
No, but atleast I won't have to squeeze my dick into a fucking bottle opening
>benefits: no shit bacteria
Therefore we should stack gallons of piss, that won't create any filthy bacteria at all, right?
>be able to tell whether you're well hydrated by the color and clearness of your urine
Just look down into the toilet
It's my birthday today robots, I'm 19. I didn't throw a party because I have nowhere to do it (lice in parents house, they're against that). They sort have forced me in to becoming a robot. Anyway birthday feels thread. Anyone got any bad birthday stories?
Also pic related, the only person I would have invited to my birthday party
my birthday is in a month. I won't have a party because I have no friends
what will probably happen is my parents will shame me for having no friends then get me a shitty cake and take pictures of me while I eat it
>>28567408
Happy birthday, anon!
I don't really have any stories, my last birthday party was when I was about 9 or 10. I miss being a normal kid. How about you, got any stories?
>>28567408
I was gonna insult your waifu but it's your birthday so I won't.
In terms of bad birthdays, my twentieth birthday I sat in my apartment and got piss drunk on my room mates liquor alone and shit posted all night on /r9k/. That was probably the nadir of my life in general.
How can I become a normal fag? I will do basically anything at this point.
>>28567400
>I will do basically anything at this point
be yourself
>>28567400
Well don't get a Suzuki *unless* k5 or mint k7...
Otherwise go shred ride red....
hang out outside with other people a lot
>Robert E Howard
>Bullied heavily as a child for being a sissy who was into books
>Lifted and boxed as an adult until he was swole
>despite getting swole, is always described as boyish looking by people who met him irl
>Lived in the middle of nowhere, texas
>His friends had to defend him from being called a freak and a weirdo
>Occasionally has bdsm and lesbian overtones in his writing
>Lived with his parents his whole life
>manic depressive
>Extremely protective of his mom
>Died at 30, likely a virgin
>Looks like an /r9k/ /fit/ crossposter
Would Howard Hughes count?
>>28567062
Howard Hughes was alpha as fuck m8.
>>28567114
I actually looked him up again and he was married to an A-list actress for most of his life. I always thought he was crazy autistic but I guess not.
>existence as an animal is all about fucking basically
>men know this
>women know this
>for some reason humanity made it super complex to have sex with each other
>>28566838
Is it a really complex thing for you to get sex? I'm sorry bro. ;)
It's to ensure that only the best members of our species (read: Chads) pass on their genes
>>28566838
>existance as a bird is all about fucking basically
>male birds know this
>female birds know this
>for some reason there are super complex mating rituals involved in getting lucky
>tfw one day it will be ironically cool to be ugly
It will never happen. People are ugly because their genes are inferior which shows outward. It's a warning sign to not breed with them.
No, the one rule of irony is that for you to pull anything off ironically you have to be attractive.
>>28566829
Tried and failed with Benedict Cumberbatch and Matt Smith
Post trannies with horsedicks!
Yeah there's no way this isn't shoopcity
>>28566004
If I had something that big I would prefer to be a woman too. It's not like you can fit that in anything to begin with...
>>28566004
go back to /b/ you faggot
>Australia comes into the surgery
>Bursts out into song
>Isn't even meant to be here
>Wants me to give her 12 points
>Give her a lethal dose of morphine instead
>>28565843
Australian Harold
>>28565843
>>28566818
french harold
Still not funny
Orginal original
Do you really want this to happen /r9k/?
>>28708866
We give passes to the mexicans that do that, they don't come here illegally.
this perfectly shows the sameness of both political parties
the people doing the work will be different coloured skin, the workers will still be getting fucked
I'd rather pick fruit/vegetables for min wage than serve piece of shit customers in retail for min wage
both jobs leave your feet sore by the end of the day, both are repetitive. only difference is fresh air VS getting shouted at by strangers
Name a better Youtuber
Protip: you cant
Is this bait?
This is bait, right?
Of all the Youtubers you could have chosen, you chose the most reddit-tier, SJW garbage?
Really?
>>28708061
This. He's Reddit tier edgy and basically living off what little fame he has left
>>28708061
Onision is the smartest youtuber on the internet you fucking retard, you're just jealous because you don't have any subscribers
Why do humans like large breasts?
Because the cleavage looks like butts.
Next question
Because we fucking suck.
>>28707822
Because it shows fertility or something
>tfw you realize your ''friends'' don give a fuck about you and have 0 morale and values.
I mean come the fuck on, lets be real here guys, some of us might be somewhat shitty or simply misunderstood but that fucking moment when you realize your ''friends'' only stay connected to you because of being used to or because it benefits them in so way, its fucking shit.
We all need company in the end but with friends like these who needs enemies right?
I find myself realizing more and more that with the years the fewer friends stay with you and some that do will eventually.
Its fucking horrible to feel out of place and I know everyone here feels like this, some have their own problems some are dicks sometimes but in the end we are victims of the unfair condictions we are in and shit just goes downhill.
How does one find REAL friends if such thing exist? I try to be the nicest guy but it always feel like I'm out of place, but if I try to get along with people alike me it ends up in discussion or it simply doesnt work.
fuck this shit f a m
>>28707286
I get the feeling a lot, I'd even say most people, don't have real friends. As in, they're not in it with you for the long haul, not like family/like a brother to you. Someone who actually loves you and gives a shit about your well being. Someone who's not so quick to "cut ties" with you if you do something fucked up to them vice versa.
>>28707286
>TFW all my friends abandoned me after they saw that I was going no-where in life. I stuck by them through their difficulties and hardships but none of them returned the favor. That is when I came to the same realization you did, OP.
I have completely numbed myself to feelings of kindness and suppressed my need to be respected by my peers. I now hate everyone and it feels good to do so. I think you should take the same stance.Hate people and enjoy their misery.
>>28707406
I'ts sad but you're right,I dont think I've ever had a friend which cared about me and tried to put himself in 2nd sometimes to help me out when in need.
Its fucking sad when you are altruist and are eager to help people, only to be used by fuckers who take advantage of that.
Fucking lying roastie, want refund.
No one cares, stop posting.
You're contributing to her attention tornado.
>>28706757
She's probably just not able to be on, maybe her parents or the FBI is on a device where she's logged in. Chill out before you sperg.
Haha just read the messages, didn't even read your pic the first time
Dude you're beta as fuck ahahaggag
Reminder that this guy unironically sends her hundreds of dollars a month only to get ignored
Classic thread you cuck
We are gathered here today to mourn the tragic passing of Stiffy the rat.
I did not know Stiffy personally, I became acquainted with Stiffy about twenty minutes ago when I came home from work to find my cat toying with his stiffened corpse.
Presumably Stiffy's short life came to a dramatic and torturous end when he encountered my cat, and for that I will feel forever guilty.
Stiffy was young and naive, simply trying to forage for snacks to enjoy in the kitchen the way any robot would. However this world is much harsher and colder than he could have ever imagined, he was certainly too good for us.
Rest in peace, Stiffy.
I will now begin funeral preparations, feel free to light a candle or say a word for our dear comrade Stiffy.
Are you going to eat that fucking thing or what?
Fuck off Charlotte you sjw whore
That's a mouse senpai
My cat brought me this baby one live and squeaking last week
I locked them on the covered porch together to have a Final Battle
Cat won.
>be me
>angry at the world
>joined pro white group and forum
>go to local meetings to make friends and hang
>6 years later
>grow up
>realize I'm just hanging out with a bunch of autists and retards.
>
>thinking back to all those kids of different races who tried to be my friend.
>mfw all I wanted was friends
>>28705912
Shoulda just switched to /pol/
I get why you burned the uniform but why did you shit in the backyard?
The city I live in is super diverse ethnically. I grew up with a bunch of kids who only spoke Spanish and Filipino. I befriended the other few white kids and we made our own clique but nothing was ever antagonistic and I've never felt uncomfortable because of my race or gender. Honestly I think most non-whites are just happy to meet any white person who isn't an arrogant cock.
I recently met a few people who genuine /pol/tards and we had barrels of fun until one of them pulled the emergency break on the car in a drunken rage and the other one pulled a gun on him, then one of them invited me over to his apartment, got me drunk and high and then kicked me out onto the street at 2 AM. I'm not friends with either of them now.
Now I'm friends with the artistic liberals at my university because they give me food and buy me drinks.
