Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 198. page
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Jerked it so much my dick chafed and bled. How screwed am I, fellow robots?
>>29938836
You won't use it so why care?
>>29938836
Great. Now its going to get itchy as it heals and you're going to keep fapping through that as well.Protip: there is a way to do it without chafing. Not saying how though.
>>29938836
I'm assuming you came past the point where you literally felt only air come out correct?
I think I will kill myself soon. Here are some reasons why.
>I am unable to take any action
>Nothing is fun or pleasurable
>I have zero friends or acquaintances
>I will never get a beautiful girl
>I feel bad all the time
What do you think?
I guess those are valid enough reasons. How old are? Are you going to school? Well I don't know your situation but God Speed in any case.
>>29938830
I don't think you should be asking anyone else's opinion about ending your own life
Before you go sell everything you have and donate money to orphans
Oh and what's your (first) name anon?
>>29938830
>>I will never get a beautiful girl
>>I feel bad all the time
There's your problem OP, all your complaints are frivolous. There is eventually the time in a guy's life wherein he realizes that self-worth and skillsets learnt and improved upon are better than any fucking chick if learn't right. (Maybe besides the occasional goddess but hey ho).
Someone show me proof a middle class bald guy can get an attractive girl.
No black guys allowed because obviously they.
Genuinely curious to see if couples like that exist.
Hell even a 5/10 and I'd be surprised.
>>29938827
Well, my cousin who is probably very attractive married a bald, dadbod real estate manager.
He's filthy rich though. And was a talented athlete.
>>29939379
That's not what I asked for though.
Show me a regular bald guy in his mid/late twenties with an attractive/cute girlfriend, 5/10 or up.
I'm in high school and severly balding and I have a cute girlfriend. Isn't that even better than someone in their twenties?
I JUST WANT TO HUG CHITOSE
SHE'S SO FUCKING ADORABLE
>>29938803
She's cute but I get the feeling her hair feels like dry straw.
>You'll never be hunted down by Chitose and forced to make out with her.
>>29938803
W o r s t. G i r l.
Originally
http://vocaroo.com/i/s1XGUkzFhXJv
>>29938772
It's 8 am dude
vacaroo threads might be my favorite thing about this board.
>>29938772
no not yet please
I'm sorry anon, but Tyrone can satisfy me in ways you just can't do
>>29938755
Who the fuck are you three and why are you in my apartment?
Also, where did the blue couch come from? And can I please keep it?
is that a hollister shirt, or just HOLLA?
>>29938935
>hurr who deez people??
>derr this isn't my stuff
These posts are so stupid and uncreative.
>uncle anon, why doesn't mommy let me play with you?
>you are so nice and kind!
Because I cannot experience your pureness and love.
>>29938735
My sister doesn't have a kid...
Who the fuck are you?
>>29938951
>tfw you raped your imaginary sister and she still holds the grudge
who /cantstoplying/ here?
I lie almost every single time im out with my friends. I'm maintaining three large lies with everyone I know; having a good job, having graduated university, and not being a virgin. I always make up stories that make my life more interesting than it really is so that I have conversational anecdotes whenever I go out.
>>29938719
How can you be sure that people are not seeing through the lies?
Are you confident they believe you.
Don't lie about this one anon.
>>29938784
I have friends who call each other out on pretty much everything and I doubt one of em would be ok with being friends with a chronic liar
>>29938719
i got a friend like this, we figured it out a long time ago so we mostly don't take what he has to say seriously
Is Chicken Little the John Lennon of our generation? Will anyone ever near his level?
>>29938692
chicken little to John Lennon
Is this what millennial skid marks
have become?
>>29938781
Yes, it is. Don't compare CL to that hippie faggot.
>>29938902
"chicken little" is a fucking cartoon
but millennial turds won't grasp that they jerk off to them instead of getting real women
ok robots, i know some of you are pretty smart... please help me out
>story of "asshole" and "chad" and beta me
>asshole and chad hate each other
>be friends with asshole first, but he'll only talk shit about chad all the fucking time
>i go with it for a while because i'm a beta pussy and i was desperate for friends
>also was jealous of chad, so i said some pretty nasty stuff myself
>later realize asshole is a shitty friend
>finally get to know chad and turns out he's pretty cool
>but i also find out much later that chad has anger issues; personally witnessed chad's violence over dumb shit
>suck up to chad because i don't want my ass kicked
>now chad thinks i'm his best friend
>trying to phase out from asshole since i've met chad, but asshole won't quit
>kept up our shit talk because i didn't want asshole to think anything really changed except that i got busier
>scared that asshole will find out i'm friends with chad and show him our fb convo
>chad will murder me if he sees this
>BUT, i can talk my way out of this if asshole doesn't have the evidence
i need a way to get rid of this convo from asshole's facebook account. i'm doing this on friday when asshole gets off from work. my plan is basically go to asshole's place to buy him a pizza and drinks and either
>a.) ask to use his computer to order the pizza and try to get him in another room like asking for a drink
>b.) ask to use his phone for a private call and delete convo from there
>c.) make an excuse to use his computer for last-minute "work", and use a USB hack or download some keylogger onto his computer under a different file name and let it run in the bg while i do bullshit tasks
any other suggestions or possible flaws in my plan??
i'm so desperate, this is what i fucking get for trying to be a normie...
Be honest, are you 14?
>>29938732
no i'm fucking 24, i get how socially retarded i am and how this sounds like highschool drama tier shit, i honestly didn't expect this but i guess this is what i get for living in a poor neighborhood
bump please i really need some suggestions
>Say something weird
>Pretend you were making a reference to a TV show or movie
>They won't bother to follow up on it
It's saved my ass many times.
>meet girl
>immediately friendzone her
>you lose the pressure of trying to impress and woo her
>she gets all bothered that you aren't trying to hit on her and tries to get you to
>if you wait long enough, she will be willing to fuck you
>or if you wait too long she moves on
if she was not interested in you at all, then she will keep you at the friendly level and you look better in the eyes of other women for not being 'creep', making your attractiveness level to them rise a tiny bit.
Save money, have atleast like 3 months of living in your bank account. You can walk away from any job if you start to hate it, and you can deal with almost any emergency that happens.
>>29938829
THISSS
FUCKIN LIFE HACKTFW CHAD LOOKS BUT DO THIS ANYWAY BECAUSE IT WERKSTFW I AM BLESSED BY THE GODS OF DRAMA AND SCORNED WOMEN NEVER START SHIT ABOUT ME
What do you think heaven looks like anons?
>>29938608
>Free wi-fi
Because I shall never leave this place.
For me
>that lost sense of childlike awe and discovery all of the time
>lost loved ones
>sunshine
There's a tearfully happy feeling to it
I bet I'll still be whatever the equivalent of being a robot is up there. I'll be a robotangel.
I know some of you guys have actual diagnosed autism, my mom said she thinks I have aspergers. My question is what is the difference between that and anxiety? I looked on google but it didnt help
>>29938607
I think one is neurological and the other is psychological.
You can treat and prevent anxiety, but Autism is shit you'll always have.
>>29938607
>I started talking to a girl.
>She likes history.
>If I had anxiety I would be worried.
>I'm an autist so I looked her up in the census and tried to find her genealogy because that's history....
Big difference kid
>>29938801
>She likes history.
>If I had anxiety I would be worried.
I don't get why you'd be worried if someone likes history.
Why not try it all if you only remember it once
Ooooooooh
ooooooooooooooh
Is she getting baptized or something?
shit thread
try these feels on for size
>tfw no sexhair gf
don't watch amagami if you don;t like feeling feels
A solution to all your problems, pic related.
Would you go to this clinic?
>>29938558
Maybe. But I'm not giving them money. I can kill myself all by myself if I want to thank you very much.
>>29938694
ill pay ILL PAY
how much do you want OP i wanna be the cuck behind the glass
>>29938558
>disposable man chute
