Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 7487. page
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>be me, British
>now have to use the dark web just to order a pizza with bacon on top
>sharia law says I'll be hung if I'm found out
>constantly living in fear
>>25057454
Lol serves you right Britlamist cuck, take it up with Cameron and her Majesty the Cunt
Throw some sausage on there, I'm fuckin starving. We'll split the bill.
It must suck to be British
Swim over here to Canada
>Ass crack smells like spoiled cheese
>ass crack smells like poop
>Dick tastes like dick
>>25057256
>tfw mine smells like fresh cheddar
>he posts images that aren't related to what he's saying
>he doesn't use the 4chan extension to hide all images inthread
>>25057249
But pics are best thing about 4chan after the delicious shitposts.
>>25057249
Thats absolutely retarded. Why the fuck would you block images on an image board
You wake up and this thing is on your penis bouncing up and down
what do
Let it.
>>25057232
enjoy it , then get tested.
gb2 sleep 2bh
>And what's your name, sir?
NIGGER DESTROYER
>>25057178
Fuckface
Gigga
Ishmael
Originality
i fucked up and started seeing a new girl 2 weeks before christmas
whats an appropriate amount to spend for her xmas gift?
buy yourself 2 presents instead you big dumb pussy whipped beta ass simpy cuck
atleast $100 if you want to keep her
>>25057162
A card and spend money on a date that she enjoys.
This way it isn't a material gift that is way too much and you're involved.
I'm doing it robots
I'm gonna confront the girl of my dreams today for the first time wish me luck
I'll reply if anything happens
30 minutes left
ASK HER FOR FEET PICTURES AND POST THEM HERE
>>25057095
I wish you a bad luck anon. A really bad luck.
>>25057095
good luck, we'll be waiting here
My tooth aches like a motherfucker. How the fuck do I stop it from hurting?
I can't go to the dentist btw, I literally can't
Brushie brushie those teeth.
>>25057007
Lots and lots of alcohol.
>>25057183
Best solution.
Get some peppermintoil to.
Anyone ever get nudes through steam?
Here's my attempt
>>25056992
that's probably a street shitter trying to bait retards like you for free money
Not nudes but got some nice cutsie pics. I didn't want to be a beta orbiter so I said "nice forearms bro" as a joke but she was not amused.
I was talking to a girl and it turned out she was 61 years old. I was like what the fuck are you doing here
Who /straight but gay/ here?
Who /white but mexican/ here?
Who /up but down/ here?
>>25056954
I know what you mean. I find a lot of mean attractive and hot and ogle them, but I would never fuck a guy or be fucked by one
>watching the final Super Smash Brothers character reveal stream with a friend
>friend looks at me and says "If it's Bayonetta, you have to give me a handjob"
>tell him if it's Simon Belmont, Snake, Banjo and Kazooie, Bomberman, or Rayman that I get to fuck him in the ass with a strap on , thinking that this bet is all in good fun. I don't actually have a strap on.
>he says "okay, but only for 5 minutes"
>we continue watching stream
>Bayonetta shows up
>friend keeps shouting in excitement
>tell him that I'm glad Bayonetta is in the game, but I was really hoping for Simon or Banjo
>he agrees with me and starts taking off his pants
>tell him I didn't think he was serious
>we're alone and I haven't touched a penis in years so I thought 'why not' and gave him the quickest comfortable handjob I could give
>>25056776
and this made you feel sad ?
>>25056776
Where is the problem? I don't see the feels part?
>>25056776
>>25056776
You dirty, dirty little fucking whore.GET THE FUCK OFF MY BOARD ROASTIE FUCKING CUNT
Imagine this.
You either get to live your life exactly as how it is now
Or
Live in a remote village somewhere in Scandinavia. You'll have a nice looking wife, a job as a lumberjack and a cozy house.
The catch, however is that you won't have access to the internet, ever. You're also not allowed to leave the village.
Which life would you pick?
this one obviously
i dont have a wife or a cozy house in the perfect location but at least i can do what i want
Who the fuck wouldn't choose the new life?
The internet sucks anyway why am I even here
>>25056658
tfw I live in nowhere somewhere in Scandinavia, work as a lumberjack and have a cozy house, wizard but 100 mbit fibre
I'm good, senpai
>$1800 NEETbux i get every 2 weeks came in on monday
>drinking fine wines and eating various imported cheeses
a toast to you wagecucks for making it all possible.
might invite your gf over a little later if i hear she likes a man who enjoys the finer things in life.
>>25056648
Bics for proof I'm sick of this thread giving me false hope
How the fuck do you get so much tho?
You don't even come close to that much disability money. Also my hand doesn't really care about the finer things and you are not inviting it over.
>mfw people call me edgy, as if to assume that I'm acting pretentious and am being insincere, when in reality I'm %100 serious.
Where does the line between edgy pretentiousness and legitimacy begin?
it doesn't begin
>>25056647
pretty edgy, OP
>>25056665
>>25056704
thanks guys. I guess I have ass burger or something.
Normies think you have to be %100 empathetic and nice and happy all the time, and use "edgy" to shame people who aren't, and that's stupid
Can a femanon record herself saying this please. I am a KV wizard and I'm tired of hearing fake porn dialogues...
>"Oh, you've been a naughty , NAUGHTY boy anon. Keeping your sword clean and pure all these years... just for me. Now, raise your sword, and penetrate my shield with all your might being the filthy knight you are! Joust me until I'm dripping with the aura of its holiness!"
Wat senpai
>>25056607
I'm not one for kink shaming but bruh
>>25056607
nigga what is wrong with you
