Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 4915. page
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Will learning guitar help me ascend robothood?
>>27232019
it will be one of the greatest things youll ever do in your poor short life
especially if you really like classic rock and actually learn to play it
I used to be a guitar teacher, and I'm not happy at all.
I will say this: overcoming a perceived "barrier" will make you feel better, so learn some open chords and scales and you'll have achieved something.
No. I've played guitar for over 15 years with professional lessons for the first 7 and I am still a robot.
Post your TRUE height + TRUE penis size.
>No-E-stats
>No exaggerated measuring tactics like measuring down right to the base off your balls adding another non-existent 0.5-1 inches.
>No adding your shoes to your height or rounding off.
My true height: 5'6
My true penis size : 5 inches long, 4 inch circumference.
>>27231899
5 foot 9
5.6 inches long idk circumference
height: 5'8
penis: 6.5x5
5'9
6' Italian cock
What do you robots do when you need to talk to someone? I tend to just post here and pray for replies, but I'm looking for faster outlets, with quicker responses. Also looking to avoid signing up for bullshit.
I go on omegle and search an hour for a girl to chat with.
>>27231596
Omegle is decent, but the spambots tire me out after five minutes.
I fantasize. I can imagine an entire life if I have to.
I usually keep 3 or 4 delusional storylines going at the same time. Most of them are narcissistic fantasies. But I always keep one closer to reality to keep me grounded.
Post your users, robots
Bumping for OP so I can find friends.
>>27231510
leuhohms qt fembots only pls
>>27231510
paperketchup
don't ask about my username. I've never actually used kik and I made mine forever ago.
What should I do to Celebrate!!!???
kill yourself, friendo
stimulate your prostate
stimulate your prostate
drugs. A lot of them
orig doe
When I'm hungry and thirsty I chew on ice cubes and then drink the water of the crushed ice cubes.
>>27231277
A lot of people like chewing on ice. It's just that most don't because it isn't good for your teeth.
>>27231277
I pull hair from my thighs
>>27231538
I do this too. but I pick a lot from other areas too. favorite is pubes. started pulling nose hairs once and my god it's weird but so worth it when you get a long one
Sit down, shut up, and read, robots. I have got a tale of two girls, and how they ruined my life...
Some background, I live in a medium sized town in Montana, one that is large enough to feel like a city, but everyone knows everyone.
>be in 1st grade
>be ultra autistic
>mfw I barely avoided special Ed classes
>New girl comes into class
>sits next to me
>hello Anon
That is the beginning of a long journey, that ended in a lot of heartbreak
>I reply
>Hello, what is your name?
>I am anonette, I just moved here from anonville
>We hit it off, and become fast friends.
>she helps improve my social skills, I help with school work
>toosmart.jpg
pictures of attractive women make me want to die
>>27230839
Because you know you'll never have a qtpie girlfriend?
>>27230852
probably because she will never be the qtpie girlfriend.
They make me incredibly angry. I see a hot girl and immediately think "SLIT MY FUCKING WRISTS AND LET ME BLEED OUT ON THE FUCKING FLOOR"
i'm not joking
Who else /drinking/ here? Come: share your stories, talk to another anins, and get anything off your chest. Even if you aren't drunk.
I'm stuck with my parents for spring break until I get back to college, and it's too late at night for me to go and buy liquor. Stole a cup of merlot, a 16oz bud light, and a cup of eggnog/apple liqueur mixture. Do you guys think I will get sick if the eggnog is old? I couldn't find an expiration date on the bottle, but it was already opened. It did mention 2015 on it, the back description, though I don't really know what that means
I wouldn't risk the eggnog, its probably been open since Christmas.
A little bit of whiskey helps mellow me out after a long day of class and work. Glad to be home. Cheers.
Halfway through the third tallboy after some benzo's and weed. Feeling pretty comfy.
>>27230824
Nigger I did not read thread did not check myself b4 possibly wrecking myself
Manic perfect spelling drunk here check em
Edir: I corrected myself, because I would never want to incorrect myself
Also im bretty fucking drunk m8 I literally love uou all
>was gonna kill myself tomorrow
>find out Bernie Sanders is hosting a rally in my city on Sunday
>want to piss Bernie Sanders supporters and normies off instead
Well, before I do actually kill myself (if at all) I want to piss some normies off. I'm gonna bring a sign or something since the news will inevitably be there and I'll stand behind Bernie and hold it up.
What should I put on the sign that would piss off normies/Sanders' supporters the most?
He'll be in Spokane, so locals will want to watch KXLY or KHQ at 11:00pm (rally is at 6:00pm so it won't hit the 5 o' clock news obviously). Everyone else will have to wait until it hits the internet.
I'll make sure /r9k/ gets put on the sign somewhere.
This is a dumb idea, don't bother. Starting trouble just makes the public side with the person you're starting trouble for
See attempts to protest Trump, Anita, etc.
>>27230670
This.
You're better off dressing in Bernie/Hillary gear and pulling some wild stuff at a Trump event. False flag it. No violence.
>>27230622
Sandy Hook was an inside job
>tfw turning 30 in 1 hour
Time sure does fly.
How do you feel about it?
Which spell are you going to use first?
>>27230602
A little somber but otherwise pretty indifferent.
>>27230612
Summon '20lbs of pussy and ass'
Hey robots. Think she's interested or am I being pulled into a deep orbit?
>>27230513
no :(
get out norman
>>27230513
You can't be this naive, this question is only for the purpose of bragging
normie get out
Yes she's interested.
Normies are not welcome. Out
Submitting application request for a robot who would like to form a self-improvement alliance.
I would like a robot with a strong desire and desperation to change/improve oneself, so we can work together on achieving that goal.
We will not be friends, we are there to help each other get out of robotdom snd ideally into chadom. Think of us as a team
MEETING IN PERSON LL BE REQUIRED.
Firstly, i want to stress the relationship will be mutualistic, which means if i feel that you're not useful to me, well have to break things off, vice versa.
We are not friends. Think of it as a help me help you relationship. Again im not your friend, im not there to discuss your favourite chinese cartoons. We will more something akin to a team & partnership.
Everything we do must have a greater purpose e.g. I will not play video games with you if heres no greater purpose behind it. E.g.2. If you need get your eating habits right, i can help you with that.
We don't need a o be emotionally distant from each other, we can express our personality if we want, but always remember in the end were not friends. This thread isn't about looking for a friend.
>>27230493
How old are you, are you a NEET?
>>27230493
hello australia, here austria. if you figure out a way to keep me in australia ill gladly do it, ive got the money to get there and all but i heard you dont like immigrants.
>>27230523
26, yes, havd job interview today though but most definitely won't get the job
/that kid/ thread? I haven't seen one in forever. Anything from kindergarten to high school.
Bonus points if you were /that kid/
Let me get us started with some /that kid/ from the 90s
>That kid who had his own computer at home, internet access, a printer, and a CD-RW drive who ran a black market of music, porn and video games from his locker
>that kid who first showed you Newgrounds
>That kid who got POGs banned from school because he couldn't handle playing for keeps and getting his shit wrecked so he always went crying to the teachers
>that kid who legitimately found a porn magazine in the woods (that one was me)
>that kid whose house always weirdly smelled like cheese and something else not quite distinguishable and was always picking his nose and eating it, but he had a SNES and you didn't so it was worth hanging out with him
>that kid who pulled down his pants and underwear to use the urinals at school
>that kid who NEVER used the urinals at school, and sat down to pee
>that kid who made you clash swords in the school washroom as part of a bet (that one was me, well no I wasn't that kid, I was the other kid who lost the bet)
>that Russian kid who wasn't really popular but no one picked on him because he was so god damn Russian
>that kid who was seen as a pedophile because he had a girlfriend one grade younger than him
>that kid who was always telling you stories about his epic nights of playing Dungeons and Dragons with his friends until 5AM and you never really fully payed attention to him talking about it until one day you caught the part of him talking about how most of those nights end with an actual circlejerk
>that kid who was into proper Anime and Manga 20 years before it was available anywhere outside of one random store in Chinatown and he sometimes sold you photocopied pages of hentai books
>that kid who fucking shit his pants, not even while running laps in gym class after lunch or anything, just in the middle of Geography.
>That Buddhist kid who always shared his things no matter what
>that kid who borrowed your game at the end of the year and never gave it back
>that kid who we all thought would shoot up the school any day
>that kid who was probably a stoner in 6th grade
>that kid who could flirt with girls but was scared to death by males so he surrounded himself with girl friends who thought he was gay
>that straight kid who let everyone think he was gay
>stalking oneitis on facebook
>discover she has a tumblr
>it's full of nude pictures
my dick is so fucking sore i've been fapping all fucking day holy shit
this ever happen to anyone else? it's so fucking good
if you're ever stalking a girl online definitely check if they have a tumblr or something, girls love to upload sexy pictures there
you fap to her nudes
chad cums on her boobs
>>27230237
I doubt he cares considering he fapped without question when he saw them
You gonna post a link there fammo?
