Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 7992. page
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I just got a girls number, how do I get her to let me put my penis in her vagina?
Put money in it first.
>>24657607
1.text her in a day or two and ask her to go on a date (dinner)
2.do this 4 or 5 more times
3.fugg her
sources: I do this and it works every time
>>24657607
I hope eggman finds his handbag
>tfw you have to listen to your crush have sex with her brother every night
>>24657565
Wait, what? Care to go into more detail?
>>24657677
Our apartments are right next to each other's. She lives with her brother who she is in an incestuous relationship with. Every night I hear them going at it. What makes it even worse is that the three of us are friends.
>>24657743
Call the police, I'm pretty sure what they're doing is illegal. Get her on the rebound.
What kid were you in high school /r9k/?
I was that weird spergy kid who moved to town right before freshman year started and I would always say inappropriate things in class, get into atheism vs christianity debates with the teachers ( I was the atheist and still am) shove random girls in the hallway and overall act like a giant retard.
>>24657494
I played in a few bands, girls liked me, then I got addicted to drugs, now noone likes me even though i'm clean.
>>24657541
Why do girls like Bands so much?
Are women retards?
I was a skinhead. I was (and still am) fit, I had some friends, everyone was kinda scared of us, we were respected. I've been into lots of fights and stuff like that, but shit always ended up good.
Thing is, girls never liked me for my views and appearance. I was too edgy for everyone, but no one told me, because I would have beaten them up. I wasn't very social too. So I just kinda gave up on girls.
Now I serve in the military as a lieutenant and my life is pretty good.
Alright, robots, so I want to hear how big your porn collections are and how the breakdown is.
13,977 hentai pics
69 hentai series of assorted lengths
2,770 doujins
45 folders in my real porn folder, don't know how many videos that adds up to but it's 87.6 gigs
8700 pics of actual women
3,500 pics of pony (all humanised)
All this is 272 gigs of porn. I will be amazed at anyone who tops this.
>>24657488
My waifu folder is at about 100,000 pictures.
>>24657488
Damn, all I have is the bra section from a 1997 k-mart ad.
517 assorted fetish pictures, both 2d and 3d. Some gifs and webms.
Growth, 3D waifus, futa, and vidya r34
How do I attract someone this cute?
idk but her areolas are way too big for me so she'll never have the privilege of fucking me
>>24657214
Her areolas aren't that big...
whats her name? where can i find more?
>tfw no flesh and blood bf
I would like to eat human meat once
>tfw no cannibal gf
>>24657102
I'll be your original bf
>tfw growing up a robot in the south
>tfw if the south won the civil war we would still have slaves
>tfw if the south won the civil war i could purchase an ebony bangmaid
feels bad, man
>not purchasing a high quality buck Mandingo for breeding
>>24656878
great now i have to fap again
>>24656878
>not making her wear chains during sex
What's /r9k/ drinking tonight?
Come here to spill your feels (not your drinks)
>drinking pic related, holy shit i've never had this before
>feeling okay for once
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W-tzs47o33A
bump mr senpai
>>24656860
jack daniels whiskey..
all i've got and I feel fucking numb.. drank 6 shots as fast as I could.
gf laying in bed, what is wrong with me? how can I still fucking have racing negative thoughts constantly while having all of the great things I have.
(pic unrelated)
>New to school, 16y/o
>Eating lunch by myself
>Very easy 7.5/10 girl and her friends sit down near me
>Eats metres away from me
>Right next to her are her 4/10 at best friends chatting like mad
Goodtimes.jpg
>On the verge of striking up a conversation
>New guy sits near them, figure out it's the 7.5/10's bf, buff as hell
Nope.gif
Allaroundmearefamilarfaces.mp3
>Give it a minute in case it's just a male friend
Itisn't.sadpepe
>Very sad now
>Eating slows down in sadness
>Year 10 boy who looks friendly sits on the same table as me. "are you the new kid?"
Ohmygoddddddddd.troll2
>Unhappy my best friend would be the nerdy kid in school who tries to be the top of his classes
>Person says "read all the capital letters"
This was terrible
>>24657153
:( rude (jk I did this for the lulz it's not supposed to be funny)
>>24656761
This might be the god of all bait, or 4chan is dead. If this is bait, you have literally constructed the perfect bait, no exaggeration. In that circumstance, this in all honesty might be the best bait I have ever seen.
If it isn't, leave.
You know now is as good a time to quit as ever, anon
Its ruining your life anon
I think you might be right 2bh it's getting way too hard to maintain the balance between work and smoking. I've just not got the willpower to keep the balance. I need this degree.
>>24656734
i quit and my life did not improve signficantly, except less brain fog
>>24656859
do you use your brain
>just me and my daddy, hanging out i got pretty hungry so i started to pout he aasked if i was down for something yummy and i asked what nd he said he'd give me his cummies! Yeah! Yeah! I drink them! I slurp them! I swallow them whole! It makes daddy happy so it's my only goal... Harder daddy! Harder daddy! 1 cummy, 2 cummy, 3 cummy, 4! I'm Daddy's princess but I'm also a whore! He makes me feel squishy, he makes me feel good, he makes me feel everything a little should!
what did she mean by this?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c9_nlxseJCM&feature=youtu.be
tumblr has gone too far
>>24656666
This is a sponsored post by Satan
I knew the girl who did this, she's an ironic memelord who goes on /pol/
What a fucking hero
ITT: we cry and whine and beg for femanons to be our gfs
>>24656658
>crying whining and begging
wow how attractive, you'll get a gf in no time
>>24656658
In reality no one wants a femanon or an anon on here, because the time that we really find someone special to be with is somewhere unexpectedly in real life.
>>24656731
also buying bf, desperate and lonely
Seriously why the fuck don't you get a tiny house?
I just saw one for 7 grand and it was 12 by 30. You could use your neetbux or parents money to hide away forever in the comfiest shit ever for a loner
>>24656656
Its my goal to get a tiny house and ~100 ha of land and live on it using my trust fund money. Fuck society. Gonna do it next summer when im done with my bsc
>>24656656
Some cities have literally made them illegal.
It looks like it'd be really nice with a fireplace :)
![20b04fc434d65724a7fc901264798667.1000x750x1[1].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/1Ir6Mpb.jpg "20b04fc434d65724a7fc901264798667.1000x750x1[1]")
>"Anon whats up with your arm"
>"its bug bites"
>>24656635
that's rather disgusting
>>24656635
what is it bro. you wanna talk about it?
>having someone to ask about your arm
Shouldn't you be in bed wagie?
TICK TOCK
>>24656628
Why? It's barely 9.
i decided to break into some nutritious NEET entertainment. after all, i must receive some amusment for the nickles and dime i spend on you.
looking good my man.
>>24656628
FUCK OFF I HATE WORKING AND HATE MY LIFE... I CRY EVERYDAY WISHING I COULD BE NEET AGAIN...
