Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 798. page
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could I achieve a high score with my katana? I am getting pretty fit
>>29671723
As long as you shout, "RYUUJIN NO KEN WO KURAE" first.
>>29671723
Just commit seppuku
>attempting high score
>using wrong controller
gonna need an assault weapon bucko
>he doesn't drink the pain away
it's 12pm and I'm on my second G&T. have I become an alcoholic?
>tfw everytime I go to the bottle shop the cashiers are always away
Christ, I've been sober for months now
You really should give it up anon. I know you don't care now, but my mom was a crazy alcoholic. It damaged me greatly to the point where I just didn't even have a mother. You don't have kids, but I'm sure there's at least 1 or 2 people in your life who care, and you're letting those people and yourself down by becoming reliant on the drink.
Drinking alcohol makes me even more sad. More alone than usual. So I don't drink anymore. Haven't had anything for well over a year.
>lost all my tendies and GBP in the crash
>decide to earn one billion GBP
>buckle down and start working hard
>clean the piss, shit, and cum jugs out of my room earned 100 GBP
>step outside for the first time in years and go to the barber, earned 10 GBP
>get a shave and a haircut, earned 50 GBP for each
>enroll back in college, 100 points
>keep racking up points for years
>lose weight, get fit 100,000 points
>get a gf 10,000 points
>graduate medical school 100,000 points
>get married and buy a house 1,000,000 points
>mommy awards points for grandkids so I get my girlfriend pregnant a few times as well
>decide to see them through college for bonus points
>fast forward, kids come home for Christmas from unis
>I'm getting close to my goal of 1 billion GBP
>my sons are happy to see me
>my daughter is saying some shit about how stressful college life is
>"I'm having a hard time at college dad, it's so competitive"
>well, honey, I'm sure you'll make it you just have to bee yourself, I have complete faith in you (I've been keeping close count of GBP,. 10 points for giving fatherly advice means I've reached my goal)
>"Oh daddy I'm so glad I have you here to keep me grounded! I don't know what I would do without you
>honey I love you too, believe me life is-
>a smug smile creeps upon my lips
>IVE BEEN A GOOD BOY FOR MUMMY
>right-hook my daughter in the face
>shit on the dinner table, ruin the Christmas dinner
>my family looks on in horror
>sprint out of the house all the way to my mommy's retirement home
>kick the door down
>shake her hand and smear i with shit
>IVE BEEN A GOOD BOY MUMMY WHERE'S MY TENDIES
>she stares at me with dead eyes, a single drop in her left one
That was 4 years ago. I've been living off my GBP and eating mounds upon mounds of tendies ever since.
Wow is this actually OC?
Good job anon you wrote something original, you should be proud
Good thread, thanks OP
>>29671693
Quality greentext, OP. Haven't seen one like this in a long time.
>if you want to talk somewhere else let me know ;)
>"no thanks email is fine"
wew nearly lost that one
>want to get coffee sometime?
>oh I actually have a boyfriend
>>29671689
CHAD RESPONSE!
>want to get some coffee sometime?
>oh I actually have a boyfriend
>That's okay, every girl I've ever dated had a boyfriend before me except my first
>teehee i can't
>Sure you can, there is a place right there, let's go
>okay
2 hours later
>OH CHAD FUCK ME FUCK MY ASSHOLE
Haha I hate my life
Is it possible to find get a qt gf in a psych ward? I might have to visit one this year, but I kinda don't want to go. But the possibility of a qt, unstable gf might change my mind.
>>29671548
Yes but they are there for a reason and don't go for that reason. A better place to look is self help groups.
>>29671548
>always wanted to go to psych ward to meet qt and make friends after that shitty Its Kind Of A Funny Story Movie.
>get admitted (suicide attempt)
>already became an irredeemably pessimistic utiltarian antinatalist and self-styled monastic aescetic
JUST
>>29671548
I've met cute girls in the psych ward. They were all nice enough, but I'd never date them. All of that instability would be the epitome of a burden. Anyway, if you're going to the psych ward you should focus on working on yourself not chasing girls dude.
Who here is a guy but is /weak/ like a girl? My girly arms can't lift shit and it only embarrasses me when I have to help carry something.
>>29671516
Then go work out! Nobody at the gym will laugh at you for being skinny, they all were in the beginning too. Work out and become the person you want to meet.
>>29671516
Average strength, but I don't gain strength very easy. My lifts are shit after like 8 months.
>>29671516
I'm 33 y/o and I could never do a proper pull up or push up in my life.
>22 year old NEET
>drunk off my ass
>told my 16 year old sister I want to bone her
>parents throwing me out
Suicide method recommendations accepted
So do you want to bone her?
>>29671501
rape and run
doet
>>29671501
just zip zoop her bibbity boop
>Join in one of those robot hangout sites from one of the threads
>Try to start a conversation
>Everyone ignores me and just keep spouting memes
>I can't even make friends with other robots
I'm going to be alone for the rest of my life. I know that now.
got a steam friendo?
>>29671504
I don't really play games anymore.
>>29671564
You can still use it to chat. This guy >>29671504 actually shows interest in hitting you up. Don't turn him down just because you don't wanna use the program to play games as well.
going on a date with pic related
only ever had one gf before and she wasn't shy at all, initiated all of our sexual encounters.
how do you interact with shy girl? need chad advice
>>29671475
like any woman, just let her prattle on about herself and be prepared with follow up questions. women love to talk about themselves, asian women are no different.
call her a slanty eyed chink then she will bed you
>>29671509
so ask her questions like "tell me about yourself" ? I'm still part robot and not amazing at social interaction and the only thing giving me confidence is that i have nothing to lose
>never grew up in an American suburb
>>29671432
For what fucking purpose? They suck. Especially if it's a high school suburb.
>>29671467
Movies make them seem really comfy
>>29671481
If you like sheeple whose existence makes you want to kill yourself go right ahead
BEEP BEEP BEEP
Haha just kidding, wagecuck!
You won't have to hear that noise for another 2 days...unless Mr Shekelstein calls you in tomorrow
>>29671427
he does ................................... when will I die
>>29671427
Thisjoke is absolutely funny.
A lot of people have Fourth of July off, tender neet.
Yooooo, the weirdest shit just happened to me, the dude that I stay with's senpai bam is over, and his dad just told me they want me to marry their daughter, the only problem is I'm 20 and she is not even 16, how do I escape this situation, he was V drunk but I am V confus
>>29671386
>how do I escape this situation
why contain it?
>>29671406
The whole famalam has the asperg
He doesn't want you to marry right away does he...If she's a good girl I don't see why you shouldn't try getting close to her. Her dad likes you. Just wait for legal age for sex.
In a rough mood tonight. A stacy gave me hope that I could leave my Robotness behind and then crushed it swiftly. Need something to get me through the next few hours.
Looks like I'm here to stay.
Anything by the band Carissa's Wierd
>>29671348
Tell us more what happened?
>>29671348
Plenty of soft feels songs for ya anon
"she is the sunlight"
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xie8B6CPQKs
>mfw a cute girl at work starts showing interest in me
>mfw she touches my arm a lot
>she laughs at my stupid jokes
>she keeps eye contact
>she asks when I work next and what my days off are
>she tells me her days off
>mfw I'm too stupid to make a move
>mfw I could fuck up a real opportunity at a gf
All girls are like that, doesn't mean they wanna suck your dick bud. Stay beta.
>>29671302
>Touching his arm
>Laughing at his jokes
>Telling him her availability
>Maintaining eye contact
Yep, all girls are like that.
/s
>>29671302
Yeah, but it doesn't mean that they'd never suck your dick.
Anyone else just can't deal with the fact that you will always be alone and spending most of your time in front of a computer screen? That you will never have a loving and caring girl to be around? Most other men in the world can get a girl easily. The girls actually WANT to hang out with them and be around those guys. The girls want to give their care to these guys, they want to spend their time with those guys.
Feels bad to know that I will never be that guy, no matter what.
>>29671261
>no matter what.
topkek
I'll never get a gf, never win first prize never accomplish anything in life what's the point of even trying to be happy when the world has sad things in it
>>29671261
Feels fucked up, senpai. A friend of mine got a girl by literally just approaching her to talk and then asked her out. They've been together for god knows how long now. Meanwhile I've tried literally every way of approaching a girl and best I could do is a single date. I've literally never gotten to a second date. Not once.I guess being a manlet sucks.
